A backpacker finds a tiny village tucked away in the mountains with one tiny pub

He walks into the pub and there are all these old men just sitting around in silence. So the backpacker orders a beer and finds himself a seat.

Suddenly one of the men shouts, "Number 4!" and the whole room erupts with laughter.

The backpacker is surprised by this but then the laughter...

My friend called me the other day and told me he hated working at the can recycling plant

He said it was, “soda pressing”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The little red man joke.

The little white woman was busy baking a cake. Only as she reached around in her little white cupboards she realised she had no sugar for her little white cake. Not to be disheartened she decided to wander next door to her neighbour, the little green man, to see if he would be kind enough to lend he...

Why'd the can crusher quit his job?

It was *soda pressing*. (so-depressing)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I love pressing the F5 button

It's so refreshing

I keep pressing the space bar on my computer

But for some reason I am still on Earth.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Men's room was closed!

A guy had to go very badly, and the Men's room was closed. Looking around, he see's there are no women in the bathroom.


He sits down, and notices three buttons in front of him marked, WW, WA, and ATR. Curiosity gets the better of him so he decides to press WW. Suddenly, warm wate...

Did you know that pressing Alt-F4 prevents downvotes?

At least temporarily.

Just finished my first shift at a can crushing factory.

It was soda pressing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife keeps pressing the panic button on her car keys when I kiss her

I really do make her horny

I pointed out that my wife was pressing a no-wrinkle shirt,

but she didn't appreciate the irony.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't feel bad about pressing the close door button when you see someone running for the elevator.

If they have that much energy, they should take the stairs.

I hate my job. All I do is crush cans all day. It's just...

...Soda pressing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man has been getting horrible debilitating headaches for a long time a& finally decided to go to the doctor...

And he’s just begging for some relief. “They just won’t stop,” he says. “I can’t do anything, my work is suffering, I can’t spend time with my family, it’s just gotta stop!”

So the doctor does some tests and says, “well there’s good news & bad news. The good news is, I found the problem, ...

The saddest activity in my life is crushing my Coke cans.

Its soda pressing.



(tch tch, that was lame)

I put my blood, sweat, and tears into my work, and this is the thanks I get.

The restaurant is not pressing charges but I'll be lucky to find work as a chef again.

I just adopted two puppies the other day. I love them so much but they're so distracting whenever I try to watch a movie.

They keep pressing paws.

Hey @realDonaldTrump, try pressing the caps lock key...

@realDonaldTrump: O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!

In the Soviet Union a listener calls Radio Yerevan with a pressing question.

"Is it true" the listener asks "that in Moscow, at the Red Square, Moskvich cars are being given for free?"

"It is absolutely true" the host replies "just not in Moscow but in Leningrad, not at the Red Square but at the Revolution Square, not cars but bikes, and not given for free but...

I spent the last hour repeatedly pressing F5

It's pretty refreshing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you heard about the man who had to press the "D" button on a keyboard his whole life?

It's a d-pressing story.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.