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Square Metre Jokes

Where do you find a McDonald´s Big Mac with a very high amount of lumens per square metre?

In a Lux-em-Burger.

Did you hear about the earthquake that destroyed 4046.856 square metres of land during church?

Some people call it a massacre

Einstein, Newton and Pascal play hide and go seek

Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and go seek. It's Einstein's turn to count so he covers his eyes and starts counting to ten. Pascal runs off and hides. Newton draws a one metre by one metre square on the ground in front of Einstein and stands in the middle of it. Einstein reaches ten a...

Einstein, Newton and Pascal...

... were playing hide and seek. Einstein started counting so Pascal ran off to hide, but Newton simply drew a square on the floor and stepped in it. Einstein shouted "Ha, found you!", to which Newton simply replied "Nope, 1 Newton per square metre, you found Pascal!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four men are talking...

They are talking about how rich their sons are. The first said: "My son is so rich last time he bought his lover a luxurious Mercedes" "That's nothing"- said the second-"mine bought his lover last time a luxurious yacht" "Well thats cute"-responded the third-"Mine bought his lover a luxurious 12000 ...

Archimedes, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek.

It's Arcimedes' turn to seek and so he starts counting down.

Pascal quickly runs off to some bushes nearby.

Newton starts walking, stops thinks for a while and them draws a large rectangle around himself in the dirt.

The time is up and Archimedes turns around: "Found you, Newton...

Newton, Galileo and Pascal were playing hide and seek...

...Pascal taps Galileo and decides he is seeking before running to hide. Galileo begins to count. Newton grabs a piece of chalk from his pocket because all scientists have pieces of chalk in their pocket and proceeds to draw a square with 1m dimensions around him. By the time he is done Galileo turn...

A muscular man walks into the bar with a tiny ragged doll

"What can I get you?" the bartender asks.
“A whiskey, neat, keep it coming” the muscular man orders.
Drink after drink, the bartender finally gathered the courage to ask;
"Why did you carry that tiny ragged doll around?
No offence sir, but one would normally assume it’s not your...

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