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Popsicle Jokes

Why can't astronauts eat popsicles?

In space, no one can hear the ice cream truck.

Joke from a popsicle: what did the cheerleader drink before the big game?

A root beer

The boss comes into work carrying a thermos...

His blonde secretary had never seen one before.

"What's that thing?" she asks.

"Oh, this?" he says, "It's just my thermos. It keeps my hot things hot and my cold things cold. Damn convenient."

"Oh wow, that DOES sound convenient!" she exclaims, "I might have to get myself one of...

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Stuck in their apartment with their kid during the COVID quarantine, the Smith’s are desperate to fuck...

So they send little Johnny out on the balcony with a popsicle and a notebook with the directions to log what all the neighbors are up to during the quarantine.

After they finished with their twenty minute *alone time,* Mr. Smith lets Johnny back in from the balcony. ”So, Johnny, what did you...

My kids just read this on a popsicle stick. What do you feed a disapearing cat?

Evaporated milk

Popsicle

Me and Willard in the third grade got us a popsicle just as lunch was ending, We didn’t have time to eat em so we just stuck em in our pocket. Later in class the history teacher ask Willard. “If you’re from America you are an American, what are you if you are from Europe?” Willard looked confused...

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Girl, are you a popsicle?

'Cause you're cold as fuck and you act like you have a stick up your ass.

What does a popsicle become when it melts?

Sticky.

What do you call a dad who has fallen through the ice?

A Popsicle

A son was arguing with his dad, insisting that 1+1 equals 11

The father then looked at his son's eyes and said:

-Right, then go and buy 2 popsicles!

His son then goes and buys 2 popsicles.

Then, his dad said:

-Now give me one and the other to your brother!

Son asks:

-What about mine?

Father answers:

-You...

What's a cheerleader's favorite fruit? (Popsicle stick caliber)

Pom-Pomegranate

A blond goes to Target

A blonde was shopping at Target &
came across a shiny silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took
it to the clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos.....
It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.'

'Wow, sai...

What property is always true of the popsicle stick, whether or not it has ice cream on it?

It's always a little sticky.

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Buttermilk pancakes and an orange Popsicle

There once was a man who loved trains more than anything else in the world. Ever since he was a boy, he would play with his toy trains and dream of driving trains for a real train company.



So, when he turned 18, he packed his bags and waved goodbye to his family. He headed out the doo...

Made this one up at work today.

There once was an ancient Greek philosopher that dedicated his life to hypothesize the perfect way to cool off on a hot summer day.

His name was Popsicles.

My wife is like a delicious strawberry popsicle.

Cold on the inside and 90% artificial.

Misunderstood

An old joke ..hope you guys enjoy it..

A really hot, young lady was sitting on a park bench and sucking on a popsicle cooling off the summer heat. A young man sitting next to her is staring in amazement at the young woman sucking on the popsicle. Getting annoyed at the young man's gaze, the ...

What do you call a Greek who loves candy?

Popsicles

What subject did Dracula major in during college?

AcCOUNTing

This joke must be on a popsicle stick somewhere.

Let's go way back ...

A salesman really sold me on the their new product. I bought one immediately.

The next day at lunch the guys were admiring my new purchase. "What is it?", they asked.

"It's called a "thermos". The salesman told me that it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold, so of course I bou...

What shakes at the bottom of the ocean?

A nervous wreck.

Credit: My popsicle stick.

What do you call a sleeping Tyrannosaurus Rex?

A DynaSnore!

A popsicle stick joke that cracked me up today.

What do computers eat for snacks?

Micro-chips


(Discovered on a Firecracker Popsicle stick)

Daryl was sitting in his house when came a loud knock on his door. He went to the door and a salesman was standing there with an unfamiliar object in his hand. “What’s that?” asked Daryl. “It’s a Thermos.”

Intrigued, Daryl asked, “What does it do?”

Shifting into the sales pitch he said, “This little jewel is amazing. It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.”

After some discussion Daryl purchased one thinking it would really help with his lunch situation at work. The next day he arr...

A guy goes to a department store and sees a display of thermoses...

"What is this thing?" he asks the sales rep. "Why that's a thermos, it keeps hot stuff hot and cold stuff cold." "Oh neat!" the guy says, "I'll take one!" The next day he goes to work with his new thermos under his arm. His boss sees him and says "Hey what is that you got there?" The guys says, "It'...

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A ramdom girl is giving me a blowjob and i'm melting

Seriously i'm melting.Someone please bring me back to the freezer with other popsicles or i'm gonna die

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Edward say after taking Bella's tampon out of the freezer?

"Yay, I love popsicles!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde is on her first day at her first job...

...and the lunch break rolls around. The blonde joins her team at a table and pulls out a big thermos. The other employees think this is a little bit odd so they ask her about it.

"I heard about these thermoses and I thought it would be a good way to bring my lunch to work - they keep hot thi...

A new Russian "recruit" goes to the Armory to get his weapons.

The armorer looks around, and seeing there are no guns left, hand the soldier a broomstick.

"But Comrade!" complains the recruit. "The enemy have real guns! How will this help me?"

The armorer says to him, "Just point this at them and say 'Bang Bang Bang!' It will work."

"But ...

Little Johnny's first day in kindergarten

Little Johnny is sitting in his kindergarten class when the teacher asks the following question: "There are three birds sitting on a fence, and a hunter shoots one of the birds. How many are left?"

Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "There are zero birds left. One was shot, and the othe...

How do you comb a bee's hair?

With a honeycomb!


I'm sorry I found this joke on a popsicle stick please forgive me.

What kind of tree would have the best bark?

Dogwood.

Don't you dare judge me, it was on my popsicle stick. :P

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Final Erection

A man ask the Doctor about his erection problems and what it could be done about. The Doc told him that's age related and that there is not much he can do about BUT:
"Just eat a popsicle and keep the stick. Tie it under your dick, it's not perfect but will do..."

The man does as advised an...

I think my thermos is broken

It says it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold but I put in 3 cups of coffee and a popsicle and now they're both ruined

A boy is making sure a microphone works for an open bar stand up night.

Aa boy, not much older than 12 or 13, comes up to the mic and says
"Ice, ice, icicle".
"Pop, pop, popsicle".
"Test," and the crowd stares in horror as the inevitable is going to happen.
"Test, testing one two three"

How do skeletons communicate?

A cell bone.

*just got it off a popsicle.

A man is playing golf one day...

And while he’s at a hole he hears “fooooorrrrr” before he’s smacked in the “business” with an errant golf ball.

He heads to the doctors and asks “how can you help me doc, My fiance and I have been saving ourselves for marriage and the wedding is 2 weeks out.”

“Hmmm. Typically your prob...

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The devil was feeling generous one day

So he decided to give three guys a chance to leave hell and make it to heaven.

"See that ladder over there?" he asked them, pointing to an ornate golden ladder reaching up out of the flames and into white fluffy clouds beyond.

"If you can make it to the top without laughing, I'll let h...

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Q: How many apples grow on a tree?

A: All of them!

ARRRRGHHHH FUCK YOU POPSICLE STICK JOKE

A young teacher confronts her math class of young kids with a simple question: “Three birds are sitting on a tree when a hunter comes and shoots one down, how many birds are left on the tree?”

“None!” shouts a boy across the classroom.

“Come here” says the teacher while the kid is approaching her through the weird looks of their classmates. The teacher calmly repeats the question again this time holding three fingers up for the sitting birds and removing one for the hunter’s victim...

Two Newfies are moose hunting...

When they stop for a bite to eat. One newfie opens up a thermos and begins to pour out some soup.

"Whaddya got there George by?"

"Oh dis is me Thermos Steve by, keeps me hot stuff hot and me cold stuff cold! You should get one fer yerself by."

So the next day they are in the woo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apparently my coworker has lived a very sheltered life.

He comes up to me while I'm eating lunch and asks "Say, what is that you're eating out of??"

"What, my thermos?"

"Yeah! How does that work?"

"Uhh, it keeps the hot stuff hot and the cold stuff cold."

"Wow! I oughta get me one of those!" And he just walks away.

I di...

A man walks into a grocery store.

A man walks into a grocery store. After getting all his groceries, he sees something interesting at the check-out counter. Not knowing what it is, he asks a worker. The worker replies, “Why, that’s a thermos! It keeps your hot stuff hot, and your cold stuff cold!” Intrigued, the man decides to buy i...

It keeps the hot things hot, and the cold things cold

One morning, Boudreaux pulled up to Thibodeaux's house to give him a ride to work. As Thibodeaux got in the rusted, beat up truck he noticed Boudreaux's Thermos on the seat between them.

*"What's dat?"*, he asked, pointing at the Thermos.

*"Oh, dat der's a 'termos I gots at da Walmarts...

A math teacher begs a simple question..

"There are three birds sitting on a branch... If you shoot one of them with a rifle. How many birds would be left?" Asks the teacher.

Johnny, considering himself quite the intelligent one, offers his answer: "well, ms.teacher... If you shoot a bird with a rifle... The loud gunfire would s...

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