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What do West Virginians and gourds have in common?

They pumpkin

How do hillbilly gourds reproduce?

They pump kin.

Would you ever consider yourself a beautiful gourd?

Because you look smashing, pumpkin.

A man asks his friend how to cook a gourmet meal as his family was coming over.

His American friend asks him to get three rams (A , B, C) and then put a gourd on each of the rams head in the kitchen and then see what happens .

He puts a gourd on ram A and nothing happens.

He puts a gourd on ram B and nothing happens.

As he puts the gourd on the third ram...

Scientists were studying rams

They had three rams in their lab. Each ram had a leather collar, and attached to each collar was a tag identifying them as A, B and C.

One of the researchers brought a large gourd from the supply closet and placed it on the head of Ram A. Nothing happened. After five minutes he removed the g...

What was the pumpkin after he was stabbed 17 times in the chest?

He was gourd.

Who helps little pumpkins cross the street?

The crossing gourd

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The lizard and the koala.

A lizard is wandering through the Australian outback one afternoon when he spots a Koala sitting in a tree.

"OI!" he calls out to the Koala, "What are you doin' up there?"

The koala looks down at the lizard, "Oh hey bro, I was just about to smoke a spliff. You can join me if you want."...

The captured explorer...

There was once an intrepid explorer called Eric, he was wandering in a hitherto unknown part of Africa. One day in the jungle, his guides are ambushed and killed with poison darts. Eric is the only one taken alive and he is bound and gagged. They drag him back to their village and present him to the...

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My uncle Marty's drivin' home, right?

My uncle Marty's
drivin' home, right?

Bombed out of his tree, right? Just
hammered out of his gourd. Just wrecked.

This state trooper sees him, pulls him
over. So my uncle's fucked basically.

Got him out of the car,
tryin' to make him walk the line.

He gets ou...

Pumpkins are the most beautiful crop.

They're absolutely gourd-geous.

A matador made a still life painting

It was a gourd by a bowl.

What do you call death by a massive pumpkin falling on your head?

gourd to death

What did the squash say to the cucumber when he saw the pumpkin patch get blown up?

Oh My Gourd!

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