What do you call an icicle that keeps giving you quizzes?
After entering what appeared to be a whole new world I witnessed incredible things - a man-beast union composed of a human top and goat bottom, a queen who wore a gown made of icicles, a huge furry lion who ruled over it all.
Eventually though I decided to go home. I came out of the closet and told my parents of the adventures I'd had. They're very closed minded though - they said it was perverted and sent me to conversion therapy.
A woman goes to the pet store to buy a parrot
She walks in and the merchant shows her the only parrot they have available. "I must warn you" the merchant said, "this parrot was owned previously buy a sailor and has very foul language". Well the woman, like most of us, thought she could change the parrot so she takes the parrot hom...
Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, and go to Hell.
Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks, And go to Hell. The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves. He says to them 'Doesnt the heat and smoke bother you?' Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an ice, an ve're yust ha...
Elsa from frozen died when when walking in the bike-lane
It was an icicle accident
Two Alabamans die, and go to hell.
Satan walks by to check up on them, and notices them wearing winter coats and shivering. "What are you two doing?" He says. "This is *hell*, and you're *cold?!*" One of the Alabamans replies, "We've had much hotter temperatures out in Birmingham, this is practically an igloo in comparison!"
A boy is making sure a microphone works for an open bar stand up night.
Aa boy, not much older than 12 or 13, comes up to the mic and says "Ice, ice, icicle". "Pop, pop, popsicle". "Test," and the crowd stares in horror as the inevitable is going to happen. "Test, testing one two three"
Snowman puns to celebrate the snowstorm in my area
What do vampires get when they bite snowmen? "Frostbite"
What is a snowman's favorite cereal? "Snowflakes"
Why didn't the snowman answer the question? "He didn't snow the answer"
What does a snowman like to ride? "An icicle"
How can you tell a snowman is angry...
Ole and Sven go to Hell (long)
One day, Satan was walking through Hell, making sure the souls were properly tormented, until he came upon an unusual sight. Sitting next to a lava pool were Ole and Sven, decked out in parkas, hats, boots and gloves.
Confused, Satan walks up to them and asks them why they're dressed for win...
You can get used to everything.
Except an icicle up your ass, because it melts before you get used to it.
- A Finnish Proverb
How does Jack Frost get to work?