Freeze Jokes

Because somebody left Windows open.

A laptop.

My friend thinks I'll die, but I think I'll be 0K.

....taking a bet whose country will be doing better in the future. So they enter the cryo chamber and go to sleep. When they wake up, they buy a newspaper. The Russian takes it and as he reads the headline, he starts smiling.
"The communist party wins the U.S. Elections for the fifth time in a r... read more

They went to see “Closed for the Winter”.

My friends are worried, but i will be 0K

My friend thinks I’m crazy, but I’ll be 0K.

A frozen dinner

We'll be 0K!

So I wasn't surprised when I heard he got shot by the cops

Two days after the operation is implemented, the disciples begin to return.

Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in each disciple.

"Who is it?"

"It's Mark."

Jesus opens the door.

"What did you bring Mark?"

"Marijuana from Colombia."

"Very well son, come i... read more

The bear takes a seat at the counter while the bartender stares. The bear looks at him and says, "Hey pal, how ya doing? Can I get a Martini? House vodka, please." Bewildered and in awe at a talking bear in his bar, the bartender finally spits out, "Uh, yeah. Yes, of course," and starts making it. H... read more

Gildford from 13 th century

And it was 0k.

So... when Mr Freeze has left a crime scene, you know its his work because people are frozen/there are frozen objects around right?

I would go as far to say thats him leaving his "Cooling Card"

Interviewer: “Is that him over there?Wow, what an absolute unit!”

Noticeable.

Sliding tackles.

They turn blue.

Your computer.
(Actually mine freezes as well)

"Oh, that’s an easy one, ” I reply.

The clerk looked at me, skeptical.


“You don’t even want to talk to a recruiter? They can tell you all about the perks of each side.”

“No thank you. I know Napoleon will never lose.”

“Well, that’s a pretty stron... read more

I mean, justice can't be spelt without "Just ice".

Just ice.

I dont know about you but iscream

He always thought he looked cool.

A quick way you can get this is by eating an ice cream...

or by trying to say the medical term for brain freeze.

They’re weighing up the Frozen Cons

They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.

Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress.

He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, while he is halfway down the hall when he sees three newly inducted nuns from o... read more

And my mother in law definitely showed signs of going bad, officer.

It was a logical thing to do.

That person would be 0K

So an atheist is hiking in the woods when he stumbles across a huge hungry grizzly bear. The bear rears up to full height and gives a roar as it leans in toward the man. The atheist screams in terror "Oh God, help me!!!"

Suddenly, everything--> the bear, the trees, the birds, everything bu... read more

Guess I won’t go undercover again.

Back in the early 70s, a programmer was able to build several complex systems and was heavily compensated for his work. Throughout the years, he put his knowledge to work and was able to fix almost any problem thrown at him. Unfortunately, however, he learnt from his doctor that he was slowly dying ... read more

because they have ANTi-freeze

I've fallen on some hard Times.

He’s 0k now.

So I gritted my teeth

The driver asks him:

"–Boss, I've driven you around the country for over 10 years. I've listened to your talks, hundreds of times. I am pretty sure I know everything by heart now. Would you like to make a bet?

—What kind of bet?

—We look alike. You've never talked in this city. ... read more

The patrons freeze in fear, and the saloonkeeper points to the Native American man and whispers "There's a bear right behind you!"

The Native American man holds up a calm hand and says, "I can explain. Bear with me."

Just-ice

Edit: oh god wait what is he doing

An ice Kareem clone

edit: thx guys, turns out i was in "Do Not Disturbed" mode

She puts in in the microwave.

He's 0K now

After all no one likes cold Fries.

Cancer.

But then again, hell actually might freeze over.

In April 1998, Roger Ebert published his review of Paulie, a movie about a talking bird on a road trip. He wrapped up the essay with a joke he claims to have made up.

"On the other hand, just to be fair, I should mention that parrots make great subjects for jokes. I know about a dozen, includ... read more

Suddenly he freezes and starts staring into the distance as if he saw something between the trees. He doesn't say a word then, just sometimes he gives me a quick look as if to say, "Man, did you see that?" I usually stood next to him like an idiot, staring at the same spot, wondering if there was so... read more

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know ... read more

A man is having trouble with a polar bear roaming around his remote cabin, so he calls up a famous polar bear behavior expert to ask about the best way of trapping or killing it.

“First, you have to wait for winter. You have a river or pond near your property?”

“I do,” the man acknowle... read more

When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him. The devil then says, “Sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here.”
The man says, “No problem. I’m from Ottawa.”

So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 100, and the humidity up to 80. He then goes ... read more