Donald Trump is like a marshmallow...

He's easy to roast, a little orange on top, catches fire easily, and will melt down when he gets under too much heat.

What did the Hershey’s bar, the marshmallow, and the cookie use to communicate?

S’mores Code

Once, me and my family wanted to bake some marshmallows in the campfire.

We had the poles with marshmallows sticked to them prepared when we heard sirens. We all ran out to see what happened. The neighbours' house was on fire and I saw a lot of firefighters trying to get the fire under control. The neighbours looked at us with pure disgust. That was the moment I realized...

YOU ARE LIKE MARSHMALLOW

getting roasted all the time

"The neighbors hate us."

"The neighbors hate us."
"Why?"
"Well, you remember when we had that bonfire in my yard, and were roasting marshmallows?"
"Yeah, that was really fun."
"And remember how the house up the road caught fire, and all those fire engines came, and we ran to see what was going on, and the wife w...

Ever have a dream that you are eating a gigantic marshmallow...

And wake up with your pillow missing?

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Can your dick touch your ass?

A son walks into his fathers room to find him eating a bad of potato chips. He kindly asks his father if he could have some.

His father replies “well son, can your dick touch your ass?”

The boy seems puzzled and replies with a simple “no?” and his father explains they’re his and the bo...

Last night I dreamed I was eating a giant marshmallow

When I woke up my giant marshmallow was gone!

What’s the difference between a marshmallow and a vegan boyfriend?

The marshmallow will eventually get hard

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What do you call it when a graham cracker, a marshmallow, and a piece of chocolate have sex?

A smorgy.

Fruit Loops is putting marshmallows in their cereal like Lucky Charms

I guess Toucan play that game

Last night I dreamt I was eating a 15 pound marshmallow…

I woke up this morning and I couldn’t find my pillow.

I had a dream that I was eating marshmallows...

...and when I woke up, I discovered I'd chewed my pillow to bits. I'm feeling okay, all things considered. Just a little down in the mouth.

Once, at an all boys summer camp, I dreamed I ate a giant marshmallow, and when I woke up my pillow was gone. But that's not what freaked me out...

...the night before that I dreamed I was in a hotdog eating contest.

What did the shop owner say when he accidentally ordered too much chocolate and marshmallows?

We've got a rocky road ahead of us...

I went on a cruise once, and we were hit by a gigantic wave, and the boat sank.

I woke up on a sugar sand beach, with gigantic cotton candy clouds filling the sky, and the sea glistened under the setting sun like a pool of honey, next to me was a volleyball that looked like a marshmallow. Towering above me was a gigantic volcano that looked like an upside down ice cream cone....

It all starts innocently, mixing chocolate and Rice Krispies, but before you know it you're adding raisins and marshmallows

it’s a rocky road

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Sherlock and Watson go camping

One night, Sherlock and Watson go camping. They do the usual things like build a campfire, drink, and roast marshmallows before they call it a night and go to sleep. Later that night, Sherlock wakes up and nudges Watson awake. He turns to Watson and asks if he sees the stars. Watson says yes and She...

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3 guys and a witch....

In a small village there is a long standing rumour that the nearby woods was inhabited by a witch, several missing people and some strange smoke from a seemingly abandoned hut had fuel the rumours for years.
One day three local men decided enough was enough and made way to the woods for a few day...

So I had this dream of eating a large marshmallow

The scary part was when I woke up I found my pillow missing.


*Took this off an essay example thing we were given in English, thought it'd be pretty funny to post on here

I had a weird dream last night that I was eating huge marshmallows!

I woke up this morning wanting smore!

A new jokes store opens up in town.

A kid walks in to check out the place early the next day. Looking all around, he sees that the store has several recognizable items (such as whoopie cushions) and some unique items that he'd never seen before. There was also a wall full of candy, with weird names such as "Hoot Gummies" and "Woof Bar...

Bob and Rose are getting on in years, and their memories aren't what they used to be.

They make a visit to the doctor, who does a thorough check-up, before telling them that there's nothing to worry about, and that this is just a symptom of getting older.

"One thing you could try", the doc says, "is to write down the things you need to remember. Many of my patients say that he...

How do you make a marshmallow?

Give it weed

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A scottsman an Englishman and an Irishman

A scottsman an Englishman and an Irishman are stick on top a roof and they have to jump off but whatever they say as they fall will show up.

The scottsman jumps and screams "hay" he landed in a pile of hay.
The Englishman jumps and yells "marshmallows" and he lands on a pile or marshmal...

Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

He ate marshmallows before they were cool.

My barber said this today

I used to put out fires at the local airport and I had marshmallows in my toolbox. They thought I was a little weird, but I told 'em "More often than not, you're just gonna sit back and watch it burn anyway, might as well have some marshmallows."
One day an experimental plane crashed with six p...

Funny Story

As the coals from our barbecue burned down...
... our hosts passed out marshmallows and long roasting forks. Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flashing. They stopped at a house right down the block.

All twelve of us raced out of the back yard, down the street, ...

Guy walks into an ice cream shop

And says give me some chocolate, some marshmallows, and some almonds. The elderly gentleman working the counter says “Careful son, you’re heading down a rocky road.”

What is the difference between camping and being homeless?

Marshmallows

Ok, so my neighbours officially hate me.

Me and a few mates were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were roasting marshmallows and stuff when suddenly we hear sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.

So we all went running to see what was up, and our neighbour's house was on fire!

Well, when we ...

A cheerio walks into his boss's office...

And he says to his boss, “Boss, I want to be more delicious than a plain old Cheerio.” The boss shuffles his papers around a bit, and replies. “Okay, I tell you what. If you go out and work for a year, I’ll upgrade you to a Honey Nut Cheerio.” The Cheerio thinks on it, and quickly agrees. He goes ou...

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