Donald Trump is like a marshmallow...

He's easy to roast, a little orange on top, catches fire easily, and will melt down when he gets under too much heat.

I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow.

When I woke up, my pillow was gone.

What did the Hershey’s bar, the marshmallow, and the cookie use to communicate?

S’mores Code

I just got over my addiction to chocolate, nuts and marshmallows.

I have to admit it was a rocky road.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had a dream last night that I was eating a giant marshmallow.

I wake up, my fucking pillow's gone.

I had a dream that I was eating marshmallows...

...and when I woke up, I discovered I'd chewed my pillow to bits. I'm feeling okay, all things considered. Just a little down in the mouth.

"The neighbors hate us."

"The neighbors hate us."
"Why?"
"Well, you remember when we had that bonfire in my yard, and were roasting marshmallows?"
"Yeah, that was really fun."
"And remember how the house up the road caught fire, and all those fire engines came, and we ran to see what was going on, and the wife w...

It all starts innocently, mixing chocolate and Rice Krispies, but before you know it you're adding raisins and marshmallows

it’s a rocky road

YOU ARE LIKE MARSHMALLOW

getting roasted all the time

How do you make a marshmallow?

Give it weed

Last night i dreamt that I'm eating the world's largest marshmallow

Then my wife woke me up asking where our pillow was

What’s the difference between a marshmallow and a vegan boyfriend?

The marshmallow will eventually get hard

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a graham cracker, a marshmallow, and a piece of chocolate have sex?

A smorgy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A scottsman an Englishman and an Irishman

A scottsman an Englishman and an Irishman are stick on top a roof and they have to jump off but whatever they say as they fall will show up.

The scottsman jumps and screams "hay" he landed in a pile of hay.
The Englishman jumps and yells "marshmallows" and he lands on a pile or marshmal...

Once, at an all boys summer camp, I dreamed I ate a giant marshmallow, and when I woke up my pillow was gone. But that's not what freaked me out...

...the night before that I dreamed I was in a hotdog eating contest.

I had a weird dream last night that I was eating huge marshmallows!

I woke up this morning wanting smore!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sherlock and Watson go camping

One night, Sherlock and Watson go camping. They do the usual things like build a campfire, drink, and roast marshmallows before they call it a night and go to sleep. Later that night, Sherlock wakes up and nudges Watson awake. He turns to Watson and asks if he sees the stars. Watson says yes and She...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 guys and a witch....

In a small village there is a long standing rumour that the nearby woods was inhabited by a witch, several missing people and some strange smoke from a seemingly abandoned hut had fuel the rumours for years.
One day three local men decided enough was enough and made way to the woods for a few day...

So I had this dream of eating a large marshmallow

The scary part was when I woke up I found my pillow missing.


*Took this off an essay example thing we were given in English, thought it'd be pretty funny to post on here

A new jokes store opens up in town.

A kid walks in to check out the place early the next day. Looking all around, he sees that the store has several recognizable items (such as whoopie cushions) and some unique items that he'd never seen before. There was also a wall full of candy, with weird names such as "Hoot Gummies" and "Woof Bar...

Guy walks into an ice cream shop

And says give me some chocolate, some marshmallows, and some almonds. The elderly gentleman working the counter says “Careful son, you’re heading down a rocky road.”

What is the difference between camping and being homeless?

Marshmallows

Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

He ate marshmallows before they were cool.

A cheerio walks into his boss's office...

And he says to his boss, “Boss, I want to be more delicious than a plain old Cheerio.” The boss shuffles his papers around a bit, and replies. “Okay, I tell you what. If you go out and work for a year, I’ll upgrade you to a Honey Nut Cheerio.” The Cheerio thinks on it, and quickly agrees. He goes ou...

My barber said this today

I used to put out fires at the local airport and I had marshmallows in my toolbox. They thought I was a little weird, but I told 'em "More often than not, you're just gonna sit back and watch it burn anyway, might as well have some marshmallows."
One day an experimental plane crashed with six p...

Ok, so my neighbours officially hate me.

Me and a few mates were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were roasting marshmallows and stuff when suddenly we hear sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.

So we all went running to see what was up, and our neighbour's house was on fire!

Well, when we ...

Sherlock Holmes and Watson decide to camp in the forest

First, they pitch their tent. Then, they cook out, roast marshmallows, then go to their sleeping bags inside the tent.

In the middle of the night, both wake up, and Sherlock says, "Watson, look in the sky. What do you see?"

Watson replies, "I see billions of stars in the sky."

"...

Funny Story

As the coals from our barbecue burned down...
... our hosts passed out marshmallows and long roasting forks. Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flashing. They stopped at a house right down the block.

All twelve of us raced out of the back yard, down the street, ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.