Please stop making new flavors of Coca-Cola …..

Either put the cocaine back in it or leave it alone.

I am opening a specialty shop that only sells flavored lube

It’s called Hole Foods

What's a carpenter's favorite dessert flavor?

Plumb Jamb

A Russian family always ate very bland food. However, one day they invited their Mexican neighbor over for dinner. When little Ivan asked his Babushka while their food tasted so much more flavorful, she replied:

Jesus is the reason for the season.

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A Teacher was Teaching her Class about Flavors

She holds up an Orange Lifesaver and asks them what Flavor it was.

They say Orange

She holds up a Red Lifesaver and asks them what Flavor it Was.

They say Cherry

Finally she Holds up a Honey Flavored Lifesaver and asks them what Flavor it was.

They dont know
...

What is a vampire's favorite flavor of ice cream?

Vein-illa

What did Trump say while drinking his favorite flavor of smoothie?

Mmmmm Peach-Mint

Food scientists have finally managed to remove the mint flavor from gum

The ex-spearmint was a complete success

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a rum and coke, but the bartender hands him an apple.

"What the hell is this? I ordered a rum and coke," the guy protests.

"Just take a bite of the apple," says the bartender. So, the guy bites the apple, and his eyes light up.

"Hey this apple tastes just like rum! What did you soak it in it?"

The bartender tells him, "Turn it arou...

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A flavor explosion

To spice up Fajitas with flavor on top.

I picked up a bottle of Frank's Extra Hot.

My payment for daring this flavourful ocean.

Is me on a throne with an anal explosion.

A man walks into a bakery on March 14th

He orders some pie, the baker thinks its clever and gets him some pie. The next day the man comes back and says the pie was great and orders a different flavor. He does this every day for 350 days. The baker running out of ideas for flavors sees the man come in on Feb 27th.

He says, man look ...

This new bbq flavor air is nice

But I think I’d like to go back to original recipe now

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My take is this: Life is a flavorful mushroom from Japan.

Sorry, I know that’s a shit take

What flavor ice cream do Jedi like best?

Obi-Wan Spumoni

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How is eating pussy similar to smoking a cigarette?

The flavor changes as one gets closer to the butt.

How do you add flavor to your algorithm?

Use a Boolean cube.

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A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of live savers and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor.

So the teacher gives them a hint and say it's what your parents call each other. A little girl shouts and says “ OMG their assholes.

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Vagina flavor lollipop

A street vendor was shouting "Vagina flavor lollipops, get your vagina flavor lollipops here!"

A man approaches and says "This can't be real, but I'll have one please" the man licks it.
"Uugh.. This taste like shit!"

"Turn it around" says the vendor

I found out what the devils favorite flavor of candy is.

It’s caramhell with a bit of sin a man.

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Onion-Flavored Ice Cream

One day this kid walks into an ice cream parlor and asks the guy behind the counter "Do you have onion-flavored ice cream?"

The guy says, "No, we don't have onion-flavored ice cream."
So the kid says, "Ok" and leaves.

The next day, the kid comes back in and asks the same question...

So, as everyone knows, two different species (flavors) of cheerios cannot mate, right?

That is, if one is honey-nut and another is blueberry, they cannot mate. Anyway, there is this one normal cheerio that is in love with a blueberry cheerio. Unfortunately, he cannot mate with her. He can't even communicate with her because they are of different species. So, he invents a machine that ...

What do you call a flavored icicle?

A tasticle.

We all know Marines eat crayons, but what's their favorite flavor of crayon?

Crayonberry.

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What do you get when you have sexual relations with a fruit-flavored soft drink?

Cool aids

What flavor are stolen Doritos?

Nacho cheese

My best friend just placed an orange-flavored soda on my head

I think she has a Crush on me

The Democratic Caucus has released a new gum flavor

Orange n’ Peach Mint

Did you hear about Ben & Jerry’s new limited edition Ice Cream flavor?

Peach Mint.

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A Teacher is giving out candy and the students are trying to guess the flavor.

No one can figure it out so the teacher gives a hint. "It's what your mother sometimes calls your father" The students look around for a minute and timmy in the back yells "SPIT IT OUT IT'S ASSHOLE!"

Did you hear about the Bell Pepper flavored vodka?

It makes you bell-igerent.

What’s Donald Trumps least favorite yogurt flavor.

Strawberry n’ peach

When life gives you...

...High Fructose Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid, Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Furmarate, Yellow #5, Tocopherol and less than 2% natural flavors...

...Make lemonade.

Why can't I take pickle-flavored breads to the church picnic?

Because it's made from dill doughs!

What is the difference between an oral & rectal thermometer?

Flavor!

Did you know that lightning has a flavor?

Everyone who tries it says it's shocking

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[NSFW] A teacher is showing her class how to associate colors with flavors.

She gives Sally a green Lifesaver. Sally pops into her mouth and says, "it's lime!"

The teacher says, "very good." And hands Timmy a red Lifesaver.

Timmy tastes it and says, "it's strawberry!"

The teacher says,"correct." Next she gives Billy a brown, honey flavored Lifesaver. <...

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What do both smoking cigarettes & eating p*ssy have in common?

The flavors change when you get to the butt.

A man walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk if he's got any helicopter flavored potato chips.

The clerk's replies, no, sorry, we're all out...

But, I've got plane.

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A buddy of mine makes yogurt flavored by secretions of aroused female prostitutes.

He practices horticulture.

What do you call jalapeño flavored ice cream?

Spice cream.

Soylent Cola, the soda made from grinding up people, is said to not have a set flavor

They say the taste varies from person to person.

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down.

AAA (Antarctic Automobile Assn) tows it to the garage in the nearest town, where the mechanic says he has time to look at it, give him half an hour.

The penguin wanders down the street to an ice cream shop and decides to beat the heat with a cone of his favorite flavor, vanilla. Of course, b...

Trump just banned flavored e-cigarettes.

Proving himself to be a real Juul-ius Seizer.

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My local sex shop has caused controversy.

They announced they are going to start selling Lager flavored gel that is 5.3% alcohol, for women to rub on their privates in a bid to encourage men to perform oral sex.

Campaigners have condemned the move because of fears it will

lead to 24 hour minge drinking.

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Roger was very thin because he was afraid to spend a lot of money on food. He looked forward to the day when his grandfather would die and leave him a fortune.

His grandfather was blessed with both a sense of humor and a sense of justice. So he planned that when he finally died all he would leave to Roger was a cookie.

But what a cookie.

It was made with butter, churned from milk from a yak milked by a virginal milkmaid on the highest field o...

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Sunnyvale Farms - PEACHES ANY FLAVOR (long)

A traveling salesman was driving into a new town and prospect, when he passes a sign that says “ Sunnyvale Farms! Peaches, any flavor”. Upon reading the sign, he thinks to himself “These rednecks are some seriously dumb folks. A peach is a peach! What’s that “any flavor” BS about?

So, over th...

My favorite ice cream flavor is Death By Chocolate...

Because it satisfies two cravings at once

What flavor gum does the President prefer?

Governmint

Ill walk myself to the nearest border

What did Captain Flavor Flav yell at sea?

YEAAAAHHHH BUOOOOYYYY

What's Robert Kraft's favorite wing flavor?

Dry rub!

Three mice walk into a bar…

After a few drinks, they get into a heated argument about how tough they are.

The first mouse says, “When I see a mousetrap, I lay on my back and set it off with my foot. Then, I catch the bar with my teeth and bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite. Only then do I make off with t...

Flavored lube is technically meat seasoning if you think about it

Wouldn’t use it on the grill, though

My girlfriend has started requesting ribbed, flavored, and glow-in-the-dark condoms instead of being satisfied with regular ones.

I can't keep up with the drastic changes in Lifestyles.

If Ice Cream Required a Prescription

Each scoop would cost $300 negotiated down to a mere $50.

It would only be available at the pharmacy across town.

You would have to buy 200 pounds at a shot and store it on your own.

There would only be one flavor, black licorice.

It'll take 20 years for a generic ice...

What flavor does anime absolutely hate?

Anything vanilla, apparently

Bert and Ernie are working at Ben and Jerry's when Bert invents a new flavor. He asks, "Ernie, will you name this flavor?"

"Sure, Bert."

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An elderly lady walks into an ice cream parlor.

She says to the man behind the counter, "what flavors of ice cream do you have?"

"They're listed on the sign. We have chocolate and vanilla," he answers.

"I'll have a scoop of the strawberry," she says.

"We don't have strawberry," answers the man.

"Well, then, I'll have s...

I've never liked the flavor of cranberries..

the bitter taste *lingers* too much.

What do you call an overweight average ogre eating beef flavored yogurt?

A mediocre meaty ogre eating meaty yogurt.

Why is pickle flavored bread so satisfying?

Because it's made with a dill dough.

I went to see a friend from a very rich family. The maid approached me and asked...

MAID: -What would you like to have, fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino , frapuccino or coffee?

ME: -Tea pls.

MAID: -Ceylon Tea, Indian Tea, Herbal Tea, Kericho Gold Tea, Bush Tea or Green Tea?

ME: -Ceylon Tea pls.

MAID: -How do you want it, black or white?...

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The double flavored apple store

A man just moved to a new town from far away, and one day decides to take a walk around to get to know the area.

While walking down the street and checking out all the stores along the way, he notices one that seemed unusual. The sign above read "Jerry's Double Flavored Apples." Curious, the ...

Why does nobody touch Sean Connery's chips?

They heard their flavor was shower cream and onion

I think Kool-aid should make a Jonestown memorial flavor

But it wouldn't be very tasteful

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position

as a sales representative for a large firm.

The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You’ve graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we’d hire you without a second thought. However, a sales...

What flavor gum does a scientist prefer?

Exspearamint.

inspired by the presidential gum joke.

What's a scientist's favorite gum flavor?

.......Ex-*spearmint*.

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Q. Have you heard about the new mint-flavored birth control pill for women that they take immediately before sex?

A. They’re called “Predick-a-mints.”

What's Mario's favorite bagel flavor?

Ses-a-ME! Mario!

Gordon Ramsay heard of a particular Italian restaurant that was recommended by a LOT of people.

Intrigued, he went there to speak to the chef.

He asked the chef, "What gave your restaurant such a burst of popularity?"

The chef answers, "Well, it all a-began when we introduced a new meal.

The meal was made with a fish, in Italian we-a call it Coppi.

We catch it in-a ...

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A Grandpa and his Grandson go for ice cream.

The grandpa takes him to a special ice cream store and says:


"Here, this is a pussy flavored ice cream cone."


The grandson takes a couple licks.


"Grandpa, this tastes like shit."


"Son, you're taking too big a licks."

No stealing!!

So I saw a sweet little girl in the park selling cupcakes so I purchased one and as I savoured it's flavor I asked her," don't you ever get tempted to take one of them?" She looked at me in shock,"no! That would be stealing. I only lick them and put them right back."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is driving down a road and sees a peach stand thats says “peaches in all flavors”

Curious by the stand’s name, he turns around to stop by. As he aproaches the stand he asks,

Man: “do you really sell peaches in all flavors”

Peach Vendor: “I sure do! What kind would you like?”

Man: “Ok well give me a peach that tastes exactly like an orange”

Peach vendor...

Did you hear about the new pickle flavored bread?

So since Pickle flavor is in style now with sonics new pickle juice shake, I think I'm going to launch a line of pickle flavored pastry. I'm going to call it Dilldough.

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Two friends walk into a bar

The bartender greets them with a smile and a “What’ll it be boys?”
Friend one speaks up “You know what? I’m not sure. Got anything special?”

The bartender smiles and tosses him an apple.

“What the hell is this?” He cries.
“Just trust me,” says the bartender with a wink.

A...

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I don't know why they have flavored condoms

It's not like my asshole has taste buds.


My brother told me this, sorry if it's a repost.

Why isn’t pickle-flavored bread a thing?

Because no one wants to eat a dill dough.

A lame joke I made up based on an existing joke. Sorry if it's bad.

One day Sean joined a quiz team.

He and his teammates studied really hard for a quiz competition.

On the night of the quiz competition, in the last round, Sean and his team was 1 point behind first place.

However, they had one more question that if answered correctly, would awar...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me: how is your bacteria converted into lactose, mixed with some sugar and milk and fruit to give it that nice extra flavor?

Friend: It's called yogurt asshole

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is driving when he notices a new bar has opened up

He decides he could use a drink, so he walks in and takes a seat at the bar. He is greeted by the bartender who promptly asks him what he would like to drink. “I’ll take a... I’ll do a Crown and 7-Up,” the man says. The bartender nods his head in acknowledgement, does a quick search under the counte...

What flavor of chips do the citizens in the Elder Scrolls like the most?

Cyrodiill Pickle

I'm trying out a new idea for using gum that's lost its flavor.

Right now, it's just an ex-spearmint.

(Sorry)

What is a poor man's favorite flavor of ramen?

Clearance

M&M's Came out with a Honey Flavor.

They coated the peanuts in the Peanut M&M's with honey.

They called them "Beez Nuts"

If you eat two bowls of cereal and they taste the same, what flavor is the cereal?

Synonym Toast Crunch

Friday Lunch


Oh lunch how I long for you so
Quickly to noon i hopeith this day go
I have been preparing for your flavor since your conception last night
Merely your presence at my feet brings delight

Turkey, cheese, horseradish oh my
My only regret is that you're not perched on ...

A boy asked his dad, “What’s a condom meant for?” The father replied...

“Condiments are used to add flavor to certain foods, most commonly hot dogs and burgers.”

What do you call someone who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you what flavor it is?

a smart ass

Did you know that most coffee flavorings have a low pH?

Except pumpkin spice because it's so basic

Who comes up with these edible underwear flavors anyway?

Fruit? Chocolate? It’s not like it’s an ice cream sundae down there. Is hushpuppy flavored or maybe Cheddar Bay Biscuit® flavored edible underwear too much to ask for? They could sell them in the Gift Shop over to the Cracker Barrel. Open up to a whole new demographic.

Two guys are debating...

**Guy 1:** Having cereal with water is so much better than having cereal with milk! Milk just overwhelms the flavor of the cereal, but water accentuates it. You gotta try it some time.
**Guy 2:** Your argument is sound.
**Guy 1:** Finally, someone who agrees wit–
**Guy 2:** Just a bun...

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What do you call a chicken-flavored lollipop?

A: Cocksucker

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A Soda Called Sup

Back in the 80's, the Coca-Cola company sold Sup, a combination of Sprite, 7 Up, and a secret ingredient that was never revealed. It was a beloved beverage that was unfortunately discontinued within a couple months and without any intention of going back on store shelves. People started buying Sup l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A new mint flavored contraceptive taken before sex...

called Predickamints.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was driving along a country road when he saw a sign that read "Peaches, All Flavors, 1 Mile."

A man was driving along a country road when he saw a sign that read "Peaches, All Flavors, 1 Mile." After seeing this he thought to himself, "I gotta see this!" After driving for a mile he saw the stand and pulled off to investigate.

"Hi, I saw your sign and want to know how you can have peac...

What do designers of gum call new flavors from old ingredients?

ex-spearmints

What flavor of coffee is name for Joan of Arc?

French Roast

What is a programmer's favorite artificial meat flavoring?

A boolean cube

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the most flavorful musical instrument in Japan?

The frute.

What is Lil Jon's favorite flavor of BBQ?

Mesquite squite squite.

...Forgive me I'm freshly smoked.

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