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Flavor Jokes

What was Oedipus’s favorite flavor profile?

Umami

What do you call a large body of orange flavored soda?

A Fanta-sea

When life hands you High Fructose Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid, Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Furmarate, Yellow #5, Tocopherol and less than 2% natural flavors...

...make lemonade.

What can Jello do that you can't?

Come in 22 delicious flavors

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What do oral sex and smoking cigarettes have in common?

The flavor changes when you get to the butt.

what is an Arabic ruler's favorite flavor of potato chips?

Sultan vinegar.

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[OC] Three married women are discussing blowjobs.

"My husband always asks for them," the first woman complains, "but I can't stand the taste."

"Make him swallow whole chunks of pineapple," suggests the second woman. "It will change the flavor of his semen."

The third woman perks up at this. "Wait, the taste changes depending on what m...

What is a flat earther's least favorite flavor of gum?

Spheremint

What's the Devil's favorite flavor?

Sin of men apple

A husband comes home and says to his wife "I just bought condoms with taste. Let's turn off the light, and then you can guess what flavor it is." So they turned off the lights and...

The wife asks: "Is it cheese and tuna flavor?"

The Husband says: "Take it easy, let me put it on first"

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A teacher was testing her students' ability to guess what objects were without using their sight...

She had the kids all blindfolded and gave them things such as pine cones, little bars of soap, or small toy animals, and they had to figure out what they were by using their sense of touch or smell. Then she gave them a real treat, Life Savers in all kinds of flavors, and they had to taste them to g...

What's the most popular chewing gum flavor in Belarus?

Pepperminsk

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An Ice Cream vendor sells Vagina flavored ice cream.

An Ice Cream vendor sells a new flavor of ice cream called Vagina to a customer.
-Customer: It tastes like shit!!!
-Ice cream vendor: You are taking too big licks!

What is an old person's favorite flavor of gum?

Retire-Mint


^Thank ^you, ^goodnight

A Dr. Of marine biology was inspired to create a new beverage.

Dr. Marcus Opor, renowned marine biologist and ocean sustainability expert, experimented with a brewed beverage with skipjack tuna as its primary ingredient. He spent years alternating its composition, striving for a balance of savory and rich ocean flavors. At last, he perfected his "tea", and was ...

In the 1970s, as manager of Baskin Robbins', my mom was tasked to create new flavors related to Richard Nixon...

Her choices, as she told me, were 'ImPeachments & Cream' and 'Watermelon-Gate' (as a sorbet).



Both were denied.

This is actually true.

Adding Flavor

Did you know, you can make any dish an autumn dish by adding one simple step? Try dropping it on the floor. It really gives it that fall flavor.

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[Long] So a man walks into a bar ...

So a man walks into a bar and asks the bartender - "What sort of specials do you have today?" - "Well, Sir, today I have an apple for every flavor." Interested, the man asks "Do you have one that tastes like Jack and Coke?" - "Of course!" Chimes the bartender, handing the man an apple. The man takes...

my first published joke

My wife and I were not doing well in the bedroom. So we decided to go to an adult store. My wife, being from Kentucky, was a little hesitant as she felt that good southern girls shouldn't be there. After browsing a while, we each picked a few items, paid and left. When we got home she showed me a bo...

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A flavor explosion

To spice up Fajitas with flavor on top.

I picked up a bottle of Frank's Extra Hot.

My payment for daring this flavourful ocean.

Is me on a throne with an anal explosion.

Food scientists have finally managed to remove the mint flavor from gum

The ex-spearmint was a complete success

What is a vampire's favorite flavor of ice cream?

Vein-illa

A Russian family always ate very bland food. However, one day they invited their Mexican neighbor over for dinner. When little Ivan asked his Babushka while their food tasted so much more flavorful, she replied:

Jesus is the reason for the season.

Please stop making new flavors of Coca-Cola …..

Either put the cocaine back in it or leave it alone.

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Vagina flavor lollipop

A street vendor was shouting "Vagina flavor lollipops, get your vagina flavor lollipops here!"

A man approaches and says "This can't be real, but I'll have one please" the man licks it.
"Uugh.. This taste like shit!"

"Turn it around" says the vendor

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A Teacher is giving out candy and the students are trying to guess the flavor.

No one can figure it out so the teacher gives a hint. "It's what your mother sometimes calls your father" The students look around for a minute and timmy in the back yells "SPIT IT OUT IT'S ASSHOLE!"

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A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of live savers and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor.

So the teacher gives them a hint and say it's what your parents call each other. A little girl shouts and says “ OMG their assholes.

What's a carpenter's favorite dessert flavor?

Plumb Jamb

I am opening a specialty shop that only sells flavored lube

It’s called Hole Foods

I love these definitions!

\-- Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.



\-- Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.



\-- Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.



\-- Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. ...

What flavor gum does the President prefer?

Governmint

Ill walk myself to the nearest border

What flavor ice cream do Jedi like best?

Obi-Wan Spumoni

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[NSFW] A teacher is showing her class how to associate colors with flavors.

She gives Sally a green Lifesaver. Sally pops into her mouth and says, "it's lime!"

The teacher says, "very good." And hands Timmy a red Lifesaver.

Timmy tastes it and says, "it's strawberry!"

The teacher says,"correct." Next she gives Billy a brown, honey flavored Lifesaver. <...

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Onion-Flavored Ice Cream

One day this kid walks into an ice cream parlor and asks the guy behind the counter "Do you have onion-flavored ice cream?"

The guy says, "No, we don't have onion-flavored ice cream."
So the kid says, "Ok" and leaves.

The next day, the kid comes back in and asks the same question...

I found out what the devils favorite flavor of candy is.

It’s caramhell with a bit of sin a man.

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A kindergarten teacher is teaching her students about the five senses.

Today, she's demonstrating to the class the sense of taste. To do so, she unwraps a bunch of candies and has the students guess what flavor they are. The students are doing great at first. They correctly guess the flavor of every candy, until they get to a honey-flavored one. For several minutes, th...

We all know Marines eat crayons, but what's their favorite flavor of crayon?

Crayonberry.

What's the deal with airline food?

The flavors are all so plane, and the prices are sky high.

So, as everyone knows, two different species (flavors) of cheerios cannot mate, right?

That is, if one is honey-nut and another is blueberry, they cannot mate. Anyway, there is this one normal cheerio that is in love with a blueberry cheerio. Unfortunately, he cannot mate with her. He can't even communicate with her because they are of different species. So, he invents a machine that ...

What did Trump say while drinking his favorite flavor of smoothie?

Mmmmm Peach-Mint

This new bbq flavor air is nice

But I think I’d like to go back to original recipe now

Did you hear about Ben & Jerry’s new limited edition Ice Cream flavor?

Peach Mint.

The Democratic Caucus has released a new gum flavor

Orange n’ Peach Mint

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My take is this: Life is a flavorful mushroom from Japan.

Sorry, I know that’s a shit take

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What do you get when you have sexual relations with a fruit-flavored soft drink?

Cool aids

How do you add flavor to your algorithm?

Use a Boolean cube.

What flavor are stolen Doritos?

Nacho cheese

My best friend just placed an orange-flavored soda on my head

I think she has a Crush on me

How does a cannibal flavor his cooking?

With Rose, Mary, and Sage

Soylent Cola, the soda made from grinding up people, is said to not have a set flavor

They say the taste varies from person to person.

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The double flavored apple store

A man just moved to a new town from far away, and one day decides to take a walk around to get to know the area.

While walking down the street and checking out all the stores along the way, he notices one that seemed unusual. The sign above read "Jerry's Double Flavored Apples." Curious, the ...

What do you call an overweight average ogre eating beef flavored yogurt?

A mediocre meaty ogre eating meaty yogurt.

A man walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk if he's got any helicopter flavored potato chips.

The clerk's replies, no, sorry, we're all out...

But, I've got plane.

What flavor gum does a scientist prefer?

Exspearamint.

inspired by the presidential gum joke.

What do you called a cheddar flavored wafer in church?

A Jeez-It

Bert and Ernie are working at Ben and Jerry's when Bert invents a new flavor. He asks, "Ernie, will you name this flavor?"

"Sure, Bert."

What did Captain Flavor Flav yell at sea?

YEAAAAHHHH BUOOOOYYYY

Did you know that lightning has a flavor?

Everyone who tries it says it's shocking

What's Robert Kraft's favorite wing flavor?

Dry rub!

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Two Americans and a German gynecologist were having a drink...

After a few they start sharing stories from their professions. Since all 3 were gynecologists it soon became a brag-fest.

American 1: "I once had a patient who had a clitoris like a blueberry!"

American 2: "that's nothing, my last patient had one like a cherry!"

German: "I would...

What's a scientist's favorite gum flavor?

.......Ex-*spearmint*.

An amateur birdwatcher and a professional ornithologist are observing the same patch of the forest floor.

There’s a break in the canopy above them, so there are dozens of birds congregated to soak up the sunlight. The scientist is eagerly taking notes and muttering to himself, “28…29…30… there’s 31 distinct species all in this one clearing! It’s amazing!”

The birdwatcher tells him, “No, they’re a...

I've never liked the flavor of cranberries..

the bitter taste *lingers* too much.

Did you hear about the Bell Pepper flavored vodka?

It makes you bell-igerent.

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A pharmaceutical company began clinical trials for a new sedative.

The goal was to develop a non-prescription drug that provided perfectly smooth, calming relaxation with just one pill. On the first day of trials, the lab assistant realized they had forgotten to pick up the sugar pills that were needed for the placebo. The lead researcher was furious! Most stores i...

What do you call jalapeño flavored ice cream?

Spice cream.

Why is pickle flavored bread so satisfying?

Because it's made with a dill dough.

how do you tell the difference between a rectal and oral thermometer?

The flavor.

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Sunnyvale Farms - PEACHES ANY FLAVOR (long)

A traveling salesman was driving into a new town and prospect, when he passes a sign that says “ Sunnyvale Farms! Peaches, any flavor”. Upon reading the sign, he thinks to himself “These rednecks are some seriously dumb folks. A peach is a peach! What’s that “any flavor” BS about?

So, over th...

My favorite ice cream flavor is Death By Chocolate...

Because it satisfies two cravings at once

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A buddy of mine makes yogurt flavored by secretions of aroused female prostitutes.

He practices horticulture.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a rum and coke, but the bartender hands him an apple.

"What the hell is this? I ordered a rum and coke," the guy protests.

"Just take a bite of the apple," says the bartender. So, the guy bites the apple, and his eyes light up.

"Hey this apple tastes just like rum! What did you soak it in it?"

The bartender tells him, "Turn it arou...

I'm trying out a new idea for using gum that's lost its flavor.

Right now, it's just an ex-spearmint.

(Sorry)

What flavor does anime absolutely hate?

Anything vanilla, apparently

Why can't I take pickle-flavored breads to the church picnic?

Because it's made from dill doughs!

I like creepypasta.

My favorite flavor is Fettuccine Afraido.

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A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception.

She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said,”Children, I’d like you to close your eyes and taste these.”
The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped.
“I’ll give you a hint,” said t...

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Me: how is your bacteria converted into lactose, mixed with some sugar and milk and fruit to give it that nice extra flavor?

Friend: It's called yogurt asshole

Trump just banned flavored e-cigarettes.

Proving himself to be a real Juul-ius Seizer.

I think Kool-aid should make a Jonestown memorial flavor

But it wouldn't be very tasteful

What's Mario's favorite bagel flavor?

Ses-a-ME! Mario!

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I don't know why they have flavored condoms

It's not like my asshole has taste buds.


My brother told me this, sorry if it's a repost.

What flavor of chips do the citizens in the Elder Scrolls like the most?

Cyrodiill Pickle

Flavored lube is technically meat seasoning if you think about it

Wouldn’t use it on the grill, though

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A new mint flavored contraceptive taken before sex...

called Predickamints.

M&M's Came out with a Honey Flavor.

They coated the peanuts in the Peanut M&M's with honey.

They called them "Beez Nuts"

What is a poor man's favorite flavor of ramen?

Clearance

What do you call someone who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you what flavor it is?

a smart ass

Why isn’t pickle-flavored bread a thing?

Because no one wants to eat a dill dough.

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Q. Have you heard about the new mint-flavored birth control pill for women that they take immediately before sex?

A. They’re called “Predick-a-mints.”

My girlfriend has started requesting ribbed, flavored, and glow-in-the-dark condoms instead of being satisfied with regular ones.

I can't keep up with the drastic changes in Lifestyles.

Did you hear about the new pickle flavored bread?

So since Pickle flavor is in style now with sonics new pickle juice shake, I think I'm going to launch a line of pickle flavored pastry. I'm going to call it Dilldough.

What flavor of coffee is name for Joan of Arc?

French Roast

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A man is driving down a road and sees a peach stand thats says “peaches in all flavors”

Curious by the stand’s name, he turns around to stop by. As he aproaches the stand he asks,

Man: “do you really sell peaches in all flavors”

Peach Vendor: “I sure do! What kind would you like?”

Man: “Ok well give me a peach that tastes exactly like an orange”

Peach vendor...

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What does eating pussy and smoking cigarettes have in common?

They both change flavors when you hit the butt...

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