A husband comes home and says to his wife "I just bought condoms with taste. Let's turn off the light, and then you can guess what flavor it is." So they turned off the lights and...

The wife asks: "Is it cheese and tuna flavor?"

The Husband says: "Take it easy, let me put it on first"

What is an old person's favorite flavor of gum?

Retire-Mint


^Thank ^you, ^goodnight

Adding Flavor

Did you know, you can make any dish an autumn dish by adding one simple step? Try dropping it on the floor. It really gives it that fall flavor.

In the 1970s, as manager of Baskin Robbins', my mom was tasked to create new flavors related to Richard Nixon...

Her choices, as she told me, were 'ImPeachments & Cream' and 'Watermelon-Gate' (as a sorbet).



Both were denied.

This is actually true.

What do you called a cheddar flavored wafer in church?

A Jeez-It

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A Teacher was Teaching her Class about Flavors

She holds up an Orange Lifesaver and asks them what Flavor it was.

They say Orange

She holds up a Red Lifesaver and asks them what Flavor it Was.

They say Cherry

Finally she Holds up a Honey Flavored Lifesaver and asks them what Flavor it was.

They dont know
...

What is a vampire's favorite flavor of ice cream?

Vein-illa

Please stop making new flavors of Coca-Cola …..

Either put the cocaine back in it or leave it alone.

I am opening a specialty shop that only sells flavored lube

It’s called Hole Foods

What's a carpenter's favorite dessert flavor?

Plumb Jamb

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A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception.

She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said,”Children, I’d like you to close your eyes and taste these.”
The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped.
“I’ll give you a hint,” said t...

A Russian family always ate very bland food. However, one day they invited their Mexican neighbor over for dinner. When little Ivan asked his Babushka while their food tasted so much more flavorful, she replied:

Jesus is the reason for the season.

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A group of guys walk into a new bar for the first time. The barkeep asks what they will be having tonight. [L]

The first guy orders a whiskey coke. The bartender without hesitation hands the man a chilled apple. The man confused by this asks why he is getting the apple. The bartender insists that he takes a bite out of it.

The man chomps into it and exclaims, “Wow! This tastes just like my favorite wh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A flavor explosion

To spice up Fajitas with flavor on top.

I picked up a bottle of Frank's Extra Hot.

My payment for daring this flavourful ocean.

Is me on a throne with an anal explosion.

Food scientists have finally managed to remove the mint flavor from gum

The ex-spearmint was a complete success

I found out what the devils favorite flavor of candy is.

It’s caramhell with a bit of sin a man.

This new bbq flavor air is nice

But I think I’d like to go back to original recipe now

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Vagina flavor lollipop

A street vendor was shouting "Vagina flavor lollipops, get your vagina flavor lollipops here!"

A man approaches and says "This can't be real, but I'll have one please" the man licks it.
"Uugh.. This taste like shit!"

"Turn it around" says the vendor

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a rum and coke, but the bartender hands him an apple.

"What the hell is this? I ordered a rum and coke," the guy protests.

"Just take a bite of the apple," says the bartender. So, the guy bites the apple, and his eyes light up.

"Hey this apple tastes just like rum! What did you soak it in it?"

The bartender tells him, "Turn it arou...

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My take is this: Life is a flavorful mushroom from Japan.

Sorry, I know that’s a shit take

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A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of live savers and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor.

So the teacher gives them a hint and say it's what your parents call each other. A little girl shouts and says “ OMG their assholes.

What flavor ice cream do Jedi like best?

Obi-Wan Spumoni

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Onion-Flavored Ice Cream

One day this kid walks into an ice cream parlor and asks the guy behind the counter "Do you have onion-flavored ice cream?"

The guy says, "No, we don't have onion-flavored ice cream."
So the kid says, "Ok" and leaves.

The next day, the kid comes back in and asks the same question...

How do you add flavor to your algorithm?

Use a Boolean cube.

What did Trump say while drinking his favorite flavor of smoothie?

Mmmmm Peach-Mint

So, as everyone knows, two different species (flavors) of cheerios cannot mate, right?

That is, if one is honey-nut and another is blueberry, they cannot mate. Anyway, there is this one normal cheerio that is in love with a blueberry cheerio. Unfortunately, he cannot mate with her. He can't even communicate with her because they are of different species. So, he invents a machine that ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s common between smoking and eating pussy?

The flavor changes when you reach the butt.


Source: Facebook

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A Teacher is giving out candy and the students are trying to guess the flavor.

No one can figure it out so the teacher gives a hint. "It's what your mother sometimes calls your father" The students look around for a minute and timmy in the back yells "SPIT IT OUT IT'S ASSHOLE!"

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What do you get when you have sexual relations with a fruit-flavored soft drink?

Cool aids

Somebody walks into an ice cream parlor

and asks "what flavors do you have?"

The attendant says "over there on the signs on the wall, you'll see them all"

Clients goes "Ehm, well I'll have a cone with two scoops of *Mondays Closed*."

We all know Marines eat crayons, but what's their favorite flavor of crayon?

Crayonberry.

What flavor are stolen Doritos?

Nacho cheese

My best friend just placed an orange-flavored soda on my head

I think she has a Crush on me

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A teacher is showing her class how to associate colors with flavors.

She gives Sally a green Lifesaver. Sally pops into her mouth and says, "it's lime!"

The teacher says, "very good." And hands Timmy a red Lifesaver.

Timmy tastes it and says, "it's strawberry!"

The teacher says,"correct." Next she gives Billy a brown, honey flavored Lifesaver. <...

A man walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk if he's got any helicopter flavored potato chips.

The clerk's replies, no, sorry, we're all out...

But, I've got plane.

The Democratic Caucus has released a new gum flavor

Orange n’ Peach Mint

Did you hear about Ben & Jerry’s new limited edition Ice Cream flavor?

Peach Mint.

Did you hear about the Bell Pepper flavored vodka?

It makes you bell-igerent.

A man walks into a bakery on March 14th

He orders some pie, the baker thinks its clever and gets him some pie. The next day the man comes back and says the pie was great and orders a different flavor. He does this every day for 350 days. The baker running out of ideas for flavors sees the man come in on Feb 27th.

He says, man look ...

Did you know that lightning has a flavor?

Everyone who tries it says it's shocking

Why can't I take pickle-flavored breads to the church picnic?

Because it's made from dill doughs!

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Magic Apples

A man walks into a bar, and upon sitting down is promptly told, "This bar is incredible! The bartender serves apples of any flavor, any one that you can think of!"
"That's incredible, you can't expect me to believe that."
The bartender looks up and says, "It's true, mate. Any flavor."
"Okay...

What flavor gum does the President prefer?

Governmint

Ill walk myself to the nearest border

What’s Donald Trumps least favorite yogurt flavor.

Strawberry n’ peach

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sunnyvale Farms - PEACHES ANY FLAVOR (long)

A traveling salesman was driving into a new town and prospect, when he passes a sign that says “ Sunnyvale Farms! Peaches, any flavor”. Upon reading the sign, he thinks to himself “These rednecks are some seriously dumb folks. A peach is a peach! What’s that “any flavor” BS about?

So, over th...

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A buddy of mine makes yogurt flavored by secretions of aroused female prostitutes.

He practices horticulture.

Soylent Cola, the soda made from grinding up people, is said to not have a set flavor

They say the taste varies from person to person.

What do you call jalapeño flavored ice cream?

Spice cream.

What did Captain Flavor Flav yell at sea?

YEAAAAHHHH BUOOOOYYYY

My favorite ice cream flavor is Death By Chocolate...

Because it satisfies two cravings at once

Trump just banned flavored e-cigarettes.

Proving himself to be a real Juul-ius Seizer.

What's Robert Kraft's favorite wing flavor?

Dry rub!

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An American man walks into a restaurant in Spain and looks at the menu.

He doesn't speak a lick of Spanish, so he defaults to a passing waiter for advice on what to get. "I would recommend the *cojones*," the waiter says. "Our house specialty. The dish is sourced fresh from the bull killed by one of our bullfighters in the ring today."

So the man orders the cojo...

Randomly thought of this one

What is a pilot's favorite flavored chip?

Plain...



Ok I'll leave now.

What do you call an overweight average ogre eating beef flavored yogurt?

A mediocre meaty ogre eating meaty yogurt.

Bert and Ernie are working at Ben and Jerry's when Bert invents a new flavor. He asks, "Ernie, will you name this flavor?"

"Sure, Bert."

Flavored lube is technically meat seasoning if you think about it

Wouldn’t use it on the grill, though

I've never liked the flavor of cranberries..

the bitter taste *lingers* too much.

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The double flavored apple store

A man just moved to a new town from far away, and one day decides to take a walk around to get to know the area.

While walking down the street and checking out all the stores along the way, he notices one that seemed unusual. The sign above read "Jerry's Double Flavored Apples." Curious, the ...

Why is pickle flavored bread so satisfying?

Because it's made with a dill dough.

My girlfriend has started requesting ribbed, flavored, and glow-in-the-dark condoms instead of being satisfied with regular ones.

I can't keep up with the drastic changes in Lifestyles.

What flavor does anime absolutely hate?

Anything vanilla, apparently

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What flavor of breath-freshener did the Nazis hand out during the Holocaust?

Internmint.

What flavor gum does a scientist prefer?

Exspearamint.

inspired by the presidential gum joke.

What's a scientist's favorite gum flavor?

.......Ex-*spearmint*.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do both smoking cigarettes & eating p*ssy have in common?

The flavors change when you get to the butt.

I heard that life made a new lemon cream flavored cereal

When life gives you lemons.

A topologist walks into a donut shop.

“What flavor would you like?” asks the person behind the counter.
The topologist replies, “Decaf.”

I think Kool-aid should make a Jonestown memorial flavor

But it wouldn't be very tasteful

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Roger was very thin because he was afraid to spend a lot of money on food. He looked forward to the day when his grandfather would die and leave him a fortune.

His grandfather was blessed with both a sense of humor and a sense of justice. So he planned that when he finally died all he would leave to Roger was a cookie.

But what a cookie.

It was made with butter, churned from milk from a yak milked by a virginal milkmaid on the highest field o...

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down.

AAA (Antarctic Automobile Assn) tows it to the garage in the nearest town, where the mechanic says he has time to look at it, give him half an hour.

The penguin wanders down the street to an ice cream shop and decides to beat the heat with a cone of his favorite flavor, vanilla. Of course, b...

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A man is driving down a road and sees a peach stand thats says “peaches in all flavors”

Curious by the stand’s name, he turns around to stop by. As he aproaches the stand he asks,

Man: “do you really sell peaches in all flavors”

Peach Vendor: “I sure do! What kind would you like?”

Man: “Ok well give me a peach that tastes exactly like an orange”

Peach vendor...

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I don't know why they have flavored condoms

It's not like my asshole has taste buds.


My brother told me this, sorry if it's a repost.

Did you hear about the new pickle flavored bread?

So since Pickle flavor is in style now with sonics new pickle juice shake, I think I'm going to launch a line of pickle flavored pastry. I'm going to call it Dilldough.

What's Mario's favorite bagel flavor?

Ses-a-ME! Mario!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Q. Have you heard about the new mint-flavored birth control pill for women that they take immediately before sex?

A. They’re called “Predick-a-mints.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me: how is your bacteria converted into lactose, mixed with some sugar and milk and fruit to give it that nice extra flavor?

Friend: It's called yogurt asshole

When life gives you...

...High Fructose Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid, Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Furmarate, Yellow #5, Tocopherol and less than 2% natural flavors...

...Make lemonade.

Why isn’t pickle-flavored bread a thing?

Because no one wants to eat a dill dough.

I'm trying out a new idea for using gum that's lost its flavor.

Right now, it's just an ex-spearmint.

(Sorry)

What flavor of chips do the citizens in the Elder Scrolls like the most?

Cyrodiill Pickle

M&M's Came out with a Honey Flavor.

They coated the peanuts in the Peanut M&M's with honey.

They called them "Beez Nuts"

What is a poor man's favorite flavor of ramen?

Clearance

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A new mint flavored contraceptive taken before sex...

called Predickamints.

What do you call someone who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you what flavor it is?

a smart ass

Did you know that most coffee flavorings have a low pH?

Except pumpkin spice because it's so basic

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My local sex shop has caused controversy.

They announced they are going to start selling Lager flavored gel that is 5.3% alcohol, for women to rub on their privates in a bid to encourage men to perform oral sex.

Campaigners have condemned the move because of fears it will

lead to 24 hour minge drinking.

What is the difference between an oral & rectal thermometer?

Flavor!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was driving along a country road when he saw a sign that read "Peaches, All Flavors, 1 Mile."

A man was driving along a country road when he saw a sign that read "Peaches, All Flavors, 1 Mile." After seeing this he thought to himself, "I gotta see this!" After driving for a mile he saw the stand and pulled off to investigate.

"Hi, I saw your sign and want to know how you can have peac...

What do designers of gum call new flavors from old ingredients?

ex-spearmints

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a chicken-flavored lollipop?

A: Cocksucker

Three mice walk into a bar…

After a few drinks, they get into a heated argument about how tough they are.

The first mouse says, “When I see a mousetrap, I lay on my back and set it off with my foot. Then, I catch the bar with my teeth and bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite. Only then do I make off with t...

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position

as a sales representative for a large firm.

The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You’ve graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we’d hire you without a second thought. However, a sales...

What is a programmer's favorite artificial meat flavoring?

A boolean cube

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the most flavorful musical instrument in Japan?

The frute.

What is Lil Jon's favorite flavor of BBQ?

Mesquite squite squite.

...Forgive me I'm freshly smoked.

Being a man of many flavors.

I survived mustard gas and pepper spray, yesterday I was honored a seasoned veteran.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly lady walks into an ice cream parlor.

She says to the man behind the counter, "what flavors of ice cream do you have?"

"They're listed on the sign. We have chocolate and vanilla," he answers.

"I'll have a scoop of the strawberry," she says.

"We don't have strawberry," answers the man.

"Well, then, I'll have s...

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