UPJOKE
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What's the Devil's favorite flavor?

Sin of men apple

Adding Flavor

Did you know, you can make any dish an autumn dish by adding one simple step? Try dropping it on the floor. It really gives it that fall flavor.

What flavor gum does the President prefer?

Governmint

Ill walk myself to the nearest border

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The double flavored apple store

A man just moved to a new town from far away, and one day decides to take a walk around to get to know the area.

While walking down the street and checking out all the stores along the way, he notices one that seemed unusual. The sign above read "Jerry's Double Flavored Apples." Curious, the ...

What can Jello do that you can't?

Come in 22 delicious flavors

What was Oedipus’s favorite flavor profile?

Umami

What is a flat earther's least favorite flavor of gum?

Spheremint

what is an Arabic ruler's favorite flavor of potato chips?

Sultan vinegar.

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A flavor explosion

To spice up Fajitas with flavor on top.

I picked up a bottle of Frank's Extra Hot.

My payment for daring this flavourful ocean.

Is me on a throne with an anal explosion.

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An Ice Cream vendor sells Vagina flavored ice cream.

An Ice Cream vendor sells a new flavor of ice cream called Vagina to a customer.
-Customer: It tastes like shit!!!
-Ice cream vendor: You are taking too big licks!

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[NSFW] A teacher is showing her class how to associate colors with flavors.

She gives Sally a green Lifesaver. Sally pops into her mouth and says, "it's lime!"

The teacher says, "very good." And hands Timmy a red Lifesaver.

Timmy tastes it and says, "it's strawberry!"

The teacher says,"correct." Next she gives Billy a brown, honey flavored Lifesaver. <...

Please stop making new flavors of Coca-Cola …..

Either put the cocaine back in it or leave it alone.

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Vagina flavor lollipop

A street vendor was shouting "Vagina flavor lollipops, get your vagina flavor lollipops here!"

A man approaches and says "This can't be real, but I'll have one please" the man licks it.
"Uugh.. This taste like shit!"

"Turn it around" says the vendor

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A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of live savers and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor.

So the teacher gives them a hint and say it's what your parents call each other. A little girl shouts and says “ OMG their assholes.

What is an old person's favorite flavor of gum?

Retire-Mint


^Thank ^you, ^goodnight

What's a carpenter's favorite dessert flavor?

Plumb Jamb

What flavor are stolen Doritos?

Nacho cheese

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Ice cream

I was walking down the street last summer on a hot day. Sweltering hot. As I was looking for a way to break the heat, I see an ice cream parlor just up the street. I walk towards the door and I see the flavor of the day written on a placard:

Today's Special Flavor: Pussy

I think, "ah,...

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A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception.

She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said,”Children, I’d like you to close your eyes and taste these.”
The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped.
“I’ll give you a hint,” said t...

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A husband and wife were trying to think of ways to spice up their sex life...

So one day the man came home with some flavored condoms. That night they were in bed, and the wife went down under the covers.

A few seconds later she popped her head back up and said, "Ugh, that one tastes like cheese!"

And her husband said, "I didn't put it on yet."

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Onion-Flavored Ice Cream

One day this kid walks into an ice cream parlor and asks the guy behind the counter "Do you have onion-flavored ice cream?"

The guy says, "No, we don't have onion-flavored ice cream."
So the kid says, "Ok" and leaves.

The next day, the kid comes back in and asks the same question...

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A Teacher is giving out candy and the students are trying to guess the flavor.

No one can figure it out so the teacher gives a hint. "It's what your mother sometimes calls your father" The students look around for a minute and timmy in the back yells "SPIT IT OUT IT'S ASSHOLE!"

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How is eating pussy similar to smoking a cigarette?

The flavor changes as you get closer to the butt.

What flavor ice cream do Jedi like best?

Obi-Wan Spumoni

What's Trump's least favorite ice cream flavor?

Peach Mint.

How do you add flavor to your algorithm?

Use a Boolean cube.

Food scientists have finally managed to remove the mint flavor from gum

The ex-spearmint was a complete success

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A kindergarten teacher is teaching her students about the five senses.

Today, she's demonstrating to the class the sense of taste. To do so, she unwraps a bunch of candies and has the students guess what flavor they are. The students are doing great at first. They correctly guess the flavor of every candy, until they get to a honey-flavored one. For several minutes, th...

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Two Americans and a German gynecologist were having a drink...

After a few they start sharing stories from their professions. Since all 3 were gynecologists it soon became a brag-fest.

American 1: "I once had a patient who had a clitoris like a blueberry!"

American 2: "that's nothing, my last patient had one like a cherry!"

German: "I would...

The Democratic Caucus has released a new gum flavor

Orange n’ Peach Mint

What’s Donald Trumps least favorite yogurt flavor.

Strawberry n’ peach

I am opening a specialty shop that only sells flavored lube

It’s called Hole Foods

Bert and Ernie are working at Ben and Jerry's when Bert invents a new flavor. He asks, "Ernie, will you name this flavor?"

"Sure, Bert."

What's Robert Kraft's favorite wing flavor?

Dry rub!

Did you know that lightning has a flavor?

Everyone who tries it says it's shocking

I found out what the devils favorite flavor of candy is.

It’s caramhell with a bit of sin a man.

What's Mario's favorite bagel flavor?

Ses-a-ME! Mario!

What flavor gum does a scientist prefer?

Exspearamint.

inspired by the presidential gum joke.

What's a scientist's favorite gum flavor?

.......Ex-*spearmint*.

What did Trump say while drinking his favorite flavor of smoothie?

Mmmmm Peach-Mint

What do you called a cheddar flavored wafer in church?

A Jeez-It

I've never liked the flavor of cranberries..

the bitter taste *lingers* too much.

What did Captain Flavor Flav yell at sea?

YEAAAAHHHH BUOOOOYYYY

What do you call an overweight average ogre eating beef flavored yogurt?

A mediocre meaty ogre eating meaty yogurt.

We all know Marines eat crayons, but what's their favorite flavor of crayon?

Crayonberry.

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Sunnyvale Farms - PEACHES ANY FLAVOR (long)

A traveling salesman was driving into a new town and prospect, when he passes a sign that says “ Sunnyvale Farms! Peaches, any flavor”. Upon reading the sign, he thinks to himself “These rednecks are some seriously dumb folks. A peach is a peach! What’s that “any flavor” BS about?

So, over th...

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My take is this: Life is a flavorful mushroom from Japan.

Sorry, I know that’s a shit take

My favorite ice cream flavor is Death By Chocolate...

Because it satisfies two cravings at once

A husband comes home and says to his wife "I just bought condoms with taste. Let's turn off the light, and then you can guess what flavor it is." So they turned off the lights and...

The wife asks: "Is it cheese and tuna flavor?"

The Husband says: "Take it easy, let me put it on first"

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm.

The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools, your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and w...

Why is pickle flavored bread so satisfying?

Because it's made with a dill dough.

Did you hear about the Bell Pepper flavored vodka?

It makes you bell-igerent.

When life hands you High Fructose Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid, Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Furmarate, Yellow #5, Tocopherol and less than 2% natural flavors...

...make lemonade.

So, as everyone knows, two different species (flavors) of cheerios cannot mate, right?

That is, if one is honey-nut and another is blueberry, they cannot mate. Anyway, there is this one normal cheerio that is in love with a blueberry cheerio. Unfortunately, he cannot mate with her. He can't even communicate with her because they are of different species. So, he invents a machine that ...

The CEOs of Budweiser, Coors, Killian's, and Guinness walk into a bar....

...and the bartender takes orders. The CEO of Budweiser says "I'll take a Bud Light. It's crisp, refreshing, and doesn't hurt the budget!"

The bartender moves down the line. The CEO of Coors says "I'll take a Coors light. It's colder, even more refreshing, and won't give you a beer gut!" ...

What do you call jalapeño flavored ice cream?

Spice cream.

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What do you get when you have sexual relations with a fruit-flavored soft drink?

Cool aids

In the 1970s, as manager of Baskin Robbins', my mom was tasked to create new flavors related to Richard Nixon...

Her choices, as she told me, were 'ImPeachments & Cream' and 'Watermelon-Gate' (as a sorbet).



Both were denied.

This is actually true.

Did you hear about Ben & Jerry’s new limited edition Ice Cream flavor?

Peach Mint.

My best friend just placed an orange-flavored soda on my head

I think she has a Crush on me

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A new mint flavored contraceptive taken before sex...

called Predickamints.

I figured out Oreo's™ new mystery cream flavor!

...disappointment

I think Kool-aid should make a Jonestown memorial flavor

But it wouldn't be very tasteful

Why can't I take pickle-flavored breads to the church picnic?

Because it's made from dill doughs!

M&M's Came out with a Honey Flavor.

They coated the peanuts in the Peanut M&M's with honey.

They called them "Beez Nuts"

What is Lil Jon's favorite flavor of BBQ?

Mesquite squite squite.

...Forgive me I'm freshly smoked.

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I don't know why they have flavored condoms

It's not like my asshole has taste buds.


My brother told me this, sorry if it's a repost.

Soylent Cola, the soda made from grinding up people, is said to not have a set flavor

They say the taste varies from person to person.

What is a poor man's favorite flavor of ramen?

Clearance

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender "Do you have any helicopter flavored chips?"

The Bartender says "No, we only have plane"

Why isn’t pickle-flavored bread a thing?

Because no one wants to eat a dill dough.

Flavored lube is technically meat seasoning if you think about it

Wouldn’t use it on the grill, though

I'm trying out a new idea for using gum that's lost its flavor.

Right now, it's just an ex-spearmint.

(Sorry)

A man walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk if he's got any helicopter flavored potato chips.

The clerk's replies, no, sorry, we're all out...

But, I've got plane.

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A buddy of mine makes yogurt flavored by secretions of aroused female prostitutes.

He practices horticulture.

Did you hear about the new pickle flavored bread?

So since Pickle flavor is in style now with sonics new pickle juice shake, I think I'm going to launch a line of pickle flavored pastry. I'm going to call it Dilldough.

What is a programmer's favorite artificial meat flavoring?

A boolean cube

Being a man of many flavors.

I survived mustard gas and pepper spray, yesterday I was honored a seasoned veteran.

What flavor of chips do the citizens in the Elder Scrolls like the most?

Cyrodiill Pickle

Did you know that most coffee flavorings have a low pH?

Except pumpkin spice because it's so basic

What do designers of gum call new flavors from old ingredients?

ex-spearmints

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What do you call a chicken-flavored lollipop?

A: Cocksucker

A pickle store is giving out their new tea-flavored pickles on the street today

I tried some and I guess they tasted quite a-tea-pickle

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a rum and coke, but the bartender hands him an apple.

"What the hell is this? I ordered a rum and coke," the guy protests.

"Just take a bite of the apple," says the bartender. So, the guy bites the apple, and his eyes light up.

"Hey this apple tastes just like rum! What did you soak it in it?"

The bartender tells him, "Turn it arou...

This park ranger is doing his rounds in the woods

When he stumbles upon a guy sitting by a fire, his rifle leaning against a tree, roasting a bald eagle. The ranger immediately arrests the guy and drag him to his cruiser. Eventually the case goes to court, the judge is outraged and asks if he has anything to say for himself before going to jail. Th...

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A teacher was testing her students' ability to guess what objects were without using their sight...

She had the kids all blindfolded and gave them things such as pine cones, little bars of soap, or small toy animals, and they had to figure out what they were by using their sense of touch or smell. Then she gave them a real treat, Life Savers in all kinds of flavors, and they had to taste them to g...

If you eat two bowls of cereal and they taste the same, what flavor is the cereal?

Synonym Toast Crunch

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[Long] So a man walks into a bar ...

So a man walks into a bar and asks the bartender - "What sort of specials do you have today?" - "Well, Sir, today I have an apple for every flavor." Interested, the man asks "Do you have one that tastes like Jack and Coke?" - "Of course!" Chimes the bartender, handing the man an apple. The man takes...

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