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Perp Jokes

My friend and I frequently give conjugal visits to an all-female prison, to remind the inmates what it's like for a selfless guy to go down on them.

It just gives us some scents of perp puss.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is it called when an officer poops his pants while chasing a perp?

Active doody.

What did the detective say when he tripped over a pretzel left by the perp?

Well, that was an unexpected twist!

50 Jokes for 50 US States Part V

# California

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) want to see who is the best at catching perps. So, a rabbit is released into the forest, and each of them has to catch it.

In goes CIA. They place...

A police officer walks into an interrogation room.

"It's over, buddy," he says smugly, throwing down a stack of papers. "We've got you on a double homicide."

"Double?! What are you talking about?" the perp across from him stutters.

"Don't even try to act innocent. We've got video proof. You gunned down two women! Cher and Johnny Depp'...

Making Sense of What's Happening in Europe

A policeman enters an interrogation room, in Athens, Greece.

He tells the perp: "You are accused of robbing the Bank of Greece, tell us where the money is!"

The perp reaches into his pocket and takes out a five-euro note.

"Here you go."

I see Jamie Oliver tackled that burglar by tripping him up with a bowl of egg, milk and flour.

Now the perp is complaining that Jamie battered him.

Three Men are Arrested...

Three men are arrested on suspicion of bank robbery. The Chief of Police is waiting for the file, which a young Sergeant brings him. "So, who are the perps?" The Chief asks, as the Sergeant looks at the files. "Victor Hammon, Timothy Rogers, and Lesley Arrane." The Sergeant replies.

The Chie...

After a burglary a store owner calls the police

After a burglary a store owner calls the police. After they arrive one officer takes the owner aside to ask about what happened:

"How tall was the perp'", the officer asked.
"He was about six foot", the owner replied.

"Did he have any distinguishing characteristics?"
"Well, he di...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man was arrested after going from pharmacy to pharmacy stealing Viagra pills

A man went from pharmacy to pharmacy stealing only Viagra pills. Eventually the cops were able to track him down and had him cornered and were ready to arrest him. Panicking, the perp swallowed all of the pills in an attempt to get rid of them. He's now doing 10-15 years hard time.

A sheriff had a deputy named Wait

The sheriff and his deputy, Wait, were trying to track down a couple of bad guy brothers with the last name Joke.

They got a lead that the Joke brothers were working with a guy named This One. They had reason to believe that This One was hanging out with a notorious perp named Me. So, they pu...

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