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Rogue Jokes

A Fighter, a Rogue, a Wizard and a Cleric walk into a dungeon...

The fighter says "Keep an eye out for mimics!"

"Got it!" said the Rogue.

"No problem!" said the Wizard.

"Of course!" said the Cleric.

"Psh! Mimics aren't real!" said the treasure chest.

Jesus once said "He who lives by the sword, will die by the sword"

He was a carpenter that died by being nailed to a piece of wood, so he might have had a point.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Pirate Joke that doesn't end with "ARRRR."

A pirate walks into bar and sits down. The bartender notices that he has a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over one eye. The pirate orders a beer, and while he's pouring it the bartender asks "So what's the story with the leg?"

"Well it were many a year ago," says the pirate. "I were ...

I’m writing a fantasy novel about two knights who fall into the rogue and Paladin archetypes. I’m calling it…

Silent Knight, Holy Knight

(ROGUE ONE SPOILER) So the nickname...

Throughout the movie, you see Galen calls Jyn his stardust, I thought it was pretty cute.

I just didn't expect it to be so literal though.

Why do thieves and rogues use leather armor?

Because it's made of hide.

I dont get why Rogues arent able to learn languages.

I guess Thieves' Cant.

If you're an X-Men fan, then every Kirby game is a Rogue-like

You run around stealing superpowers, after all.

A Jewish grandmother is walking on the beach with her grandson...

Suddenly, a rogue wave comes in and sweeps the grandson out to sea. Distraught, the grandmother looks to the sky and says, "Oh god, i have always been true and faithful to you. Please bring my grandson back." And with that, another wave comes in and deposits the grandson safely on the shore. The gra...

What do you call a mountaintop guarded by rogues?

A sneak peak

What did the rogue snowflake say to the abused raindrop who was unaware of his powers?

Yer a blizzard Harry

Most people call the movie Rogue One

but I like to call it Star Wars Episode: PI because its between Episodes 3 and 4

What instruments should be featured in a rogue AI's music band?

Just Harmonika

What do you call a rogue toaster?

A rebel appliance.

A man is driving on the motorway

His wife calls him and says, “babe, be careful out there, radio just said that there’s a rogue car driving the wrong way on the M12!”

The man shouts over the phone, “Can’t hear you babe! Everyone’s driving the wrong way!”

What do you call a Mexican that's in the rebellion?

A Rogue Juan

I went to see Rogue One the day Carrie Fisher died

I think I'm going to go watch The Apprentice

Why do rogues and thieves in RPGs usually wear medium armor?

Because it's literally made out of 'hide'.

Courtesy of /u/Courin at /r/Guildwars2 (with minor editing):
https://www.reddit.com/r/Guildwars2/comments/3b8p5o/why_thieves_are_a_medium_armor_class_in_gw2/

How many Star Wars characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just the Rogue One

What is Darth Vader’s favorite Nissan vehicle?

The Rogue one.

What climate scientist does Disney follow on twitter?

The rogue one

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy is driving when one of his wheels comes off!

He manages to pull over safely and recovers the tire.

When he does he notices that he does not have any spare lug nuts to re-secure the tire the car.

He spends a good long while pacing around the car and cursing. He notices that he is being watched by a man in blue scrubs and white sli...

D&D multiclassing jokes

Q: How do you know if you've seen a multiclass ranger/rogue?
A: If you've seen them, they aren't one.

Q: What do you call a multiclass sorcerer/bard?
A: Whatever they make you call them...your delusion of free will is cute.

A village of mathematical functions is slumbering

when suddenly the alarm bells ring:
a rogue differential operator has been sighted.
Fearing for their life, the functions run away or try to hide, but a brave function stands its ground and confronts the aggressor: I am e to the x, you cannot do anything to me! Go away!
The differential op...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three cowboys were sitting around a campfire....

...when the first one decided to brag about how manly he was.

"You know, just last week, a few coyotes came into my ranch, and I had to beat them off with my bare hands."

Not wanting to be outdone in manliness, the second cowboy said "Yeah, I hate it when stuff like that happens. Just ...

Agent Smith

A long time ago, when Agent Smith was newly generated, he was tasked to kill the rogue program, The Oracle, and her son. He was new to the Matrix, and was unaware of her capabilities. So he tried to delete her by firing at her with his gun, though the Oracle safely removed herself and her son from d...

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A seer was recruited to help a party of heroes break into a ruined dungeon

The other heroes knew that his knowledge of the arcane would help them to understand and predict the nefarious traps that were sure to beset them within the darkened tunnels.



The dungeon's architect had laid it out as a chess board, and the party moved one by one along the squares. Th...

Always bring a rogue with you when you go to Thailand

They're good at detecting traps

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A man walks into a bar and sees a pirate.

A man strolls into his local bar and is shocked to see a pirate sitting at the end of the bar. The guy was decked out, eye patch, peg leg, and a hook hand. A real, proper pirate.

So the man says "why not?" And pulls up a seat next to the pirate. He buys a round for himself and the pirate and ...

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

Anybody who bothered to look could have seen the signs. Speed had done it's work on the road and it was starting to crack up - didn't know if it was coming or going. The chicken knew that. The chicken knew that road had always been a little slippery. Sure it started out with bright, clear lines and ...

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A man is getting married in a week.

He decides he wants to have his stag party while playing a round of golf. After a couple of holes, the man gets his in the genitalia by a rogue golf ball. Wanting to make sure everything is OK, he goes to a doctor. He asks the doctor, "I'm getting married in a week and my fiance is a virgin. Wil...

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Every time I go to the dentist...

Every time I go to the dentist, they always ask if I've been flossing. Not to be a liar, I tell them no.

"I could tell," the dentist will always say. "Your gums are red and inflamed."

Then he'll give a little lecture about how I need to be flossing every single day. Well, after my la...

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A pirate walks into a bar...

Hook hand, peg-leg, eye-patch, the whole nine yards. He's decked out in his best pirate garb and just strolls into this pub.

The modern folks in the bar are stunned and amused, but only one brave patron approaches,

"Are you really a pirate?" he asks

"Aye, lad, that I am. Captai...

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