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Offender Jokes

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They say you have a 50% chance living next to a sex offender.

Lucky I live next to a sexy 12year old.

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We should send sex offenders to storm Area 51

Alien Vs Predator

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Let’s have illegal aliens hunt down sex offenders for a chance at citizenship.

We’ll call it “Aliens vs. Predators”

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Why do sex offenders never get speeding tickets?

Because they always drive slower in school zones

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What’s a sex offenders favorite shoes ?

White Vans.

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For extra cash consider robbing sex offenders.

Their address is easy to find, and they can't own guns.

Only downside is politicians usually have good security.

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A job I was interviewing at I was asked, “are you a registered sex offender?”

I told them offendedly and sternly, “no I’m not registered!”

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We should have a TV show where illegal immigrants hunt down sex offenders for a chance at citizenship

We can call it "Alien vs Predator"

\[EDIT\]: Wow I can't believe the amount of people who would want to make it a reality. *Netflix if your seeing this post you know what to do.*

**If you want, you may follow this post - I may update it in the future if something exciting happens.** <...

Did you hear about the first time offender who was in to BDSM?

He got off with nothing but a slap on the wrist.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 is a registered six offender

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What is a sexual offender that lurks on Reddit called?

A predditor

The recent widow is on trial for beating her guitar-playing husband to death. Seeing she has no record, the judge asks "first offender?"

She says "No, first a Gibson, then a Fender."

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I went on the sex offender registry and found the addresses of all the sex offenders in my area, and sent them all hate mail.

Just to make sure they read it, I wrote the letters in crayon.

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A sex offender, creep and a billionaire walk into a Manhattan bar

The bartender says
Wow Mr Epstein what'll it be.

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Why was Ash Ketchum on a registered sex offenders list?

Because he was caught having a Pikachu.

A repeat offender is in court for stealing a pair of shoes.

Judge: I'm very disappointed, because it was only two years ago that you were here for stealing a pair of shoes, and now here you are again for the same offence.

Defendant: You're right your Honour, they don't make shoes like they used to.

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A clown, a politian and a sex offender walks into a bar.

He orders a drink.

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Want to hear a joke about sex offenders?

Never mind, it’s too touchy.

6 was afraid of 7 because 789. But why did 7 eat 9?

Because he needed 3² meals a day.

What's the difference between a new AAA and a violent offender?

One's a battery with charge and the other's charged with battery



*I came up with this myself but in case someone beat me to this one, not meant to be a repost*

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A corrupt guy, a sex offender, a racist, a compulsive liar, an idiot and a terrible business man all walk into a golf course...

Welcome back Mr. President said the door man.

We all know that seven ate nine... We were even more disgusted to hear that seven was a six offender... It turns out that the most infamous number didn’t stop there...

Seven cut four teens in half!

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How do you know which swimmer is the sex offender?

It’s the breast stroker

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Why did the sex offender represent himself at his trial?

Because he thought he could get himself off.

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My friend is a sex offender.

He never abused anybody, people are just offended at the thought of having sex with him.

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I can't believe we have a sex offender registry.

I mean, who's buying gifts for these people?

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What's the best part about being a registered sex offender?

Everyone on your block knows you get pussy

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What's the difference between a lonely person getting trolled and a wanted sexual offender?

Ones a pranked Redditor, the other is a ranked predator.

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I am officially a sex offender.

Every time I ask my wife for sex, she gets offended.

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A doctor and a sex offender which live next to each other have the same house model.

After a while they both decide to sell their house. One day the sex offender comes up to the doctor and asks "hey doc, how much are you selling your house for?". "150k" anwsers the doctor. "Only 150? I am selling mine for 350k" says the sex offender. "Why are you selling it for that much, we have th...

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Did you guys hear about that sex offender who had a fetish for bureaucracy?

He got off on a technicality...

Why was the repeating offender upset with his lawyer?

He was on his case, again.

Did you hear about the man who assaulted someone with a woodwind instrument?

He's a registered Sax offender

A new battery factory in Northumberland will offer jobs to ex-offenders

Applicants for the posts will have to prove they haven’t been charged for the last twelve months.

I used to offend people.

I am now a registered ex-offender.

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What's the difference between a cowardly sex offender and your job?

Your job will always suck

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A Russian spy, a racketeer and a sex offender walk into a bar

The bartender says "Hello Mr. President, what would you like to drink?"

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