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What is a fight called between an illegal immigrant and a sex offender?

Alien vs Predator

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A corrupt guy, a sex offender, a racist, a compulsive liar, an idiot and a terrible business man all walk into a golf course...

Welcome back Mr. President said the door man.

We all know that seven ate nine... We were even more disgusted to hear that seven was a six offender... It turns out that the most infamous number didn’t stop there...

Seven cut four teens in half!

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I read there is a 50% chance you live next to a sex offender.

I'm lucky though because I just live next to a super hot 12 year old girl.

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We should send sex offenders raid Area 51

Alien vs Predator

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I went on the sex offender registry and found the addresses of all the sex offenders in my area, and sent them all hate mail.

Just to make sure they read it, I wrote the letters in crayon.

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What do you call a bug that's a sex offender?

A cockroach.

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge asks, "First offender?"

Woman responds, "No, Your Honor. First a Gibson, then a Fender."

I just heard this one, so sorry if it's a repeat.

There was a short period of time in ancient history when offenders were not only nailed to a cross, but also burned alive

Fortunately, the practice ended and very few people were crucifried

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I'm glad we have that sex offender registry.

Without, It would be so much harder to find new, like-minded friends in the neighborhood.

How to stop repeat offenders?

Don't re-elect them!

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 is a registered six offender

A perpetual criminal offender is brought to the court house for trial. However the judge is a duck wearing robes and a powdered wig

. The criminal is incensed, he shouts out "I will not be judged by a common duck"
The judge says to the defence lawyer "If you don't silence your client he will be held in contempt."
The defence says "Yes Mallard"

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What is a sexual offender that lurks on Reddit called?

A predditor

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Australia should hire WWE wrestlers to enforce sentencing on convicted sex offenders.

That way we can have Undertaker and Mankind throw Pell in a cell.

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A man runs into a bar and says to the bartender: "I'm a sex offender, and I'm on the run..."

"I'm afraid I can't help you too much," replies the bartender, "although I can probably hide you in the basement."

"Thanks, I really appreciate this." The man responds.

As the bartender shows the man to the basement he asks "Is there anything I can get you while you're here?"

"A...

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They should just let sex offenders raid Area 51...

So that way it would be a real depiction of 'Aliens vs Predators'.

Why was the repeating offender upset with his lawyer?

He was on his case, again.

I know a funny joke about a prison for underage offenders.

But it's juvenile.

Don't step on a duck

St. Peter is assisting applicants to heaven three at a time. He's leading the latest trio around, showing them the best clouds, where to get the best harps, best wing cleaning service etc.

One guy has a complaint, though. "What's with all these ducks? They're everywhere and getting underfoo...

What do you call a person who breaks saxophones?

What do you call a person who breaks saxophones?

A sax offender

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What did the dermatologist say to his patient that was on the sex offenders list?

That's a mole Lester

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How do you know which swimmer is the sex offender?

It’s the breast stroker

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Want to hear a joke about sex offenders?

Never mind, it’s too touchy.

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I've come up with a new capital punishment method: A meal that, once eaten, causes fatal diarrhea.

That way the offenders can eat, shit, and die.

I was banned from the Chex cereal factory for yelling oddly specific, and degrading comments at the cereal machines. I am now on a list that bars me from entering any General Mills facility for the rest of my life.

That's right.


I'm a registered Chex offender.

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A clown, a politian and a sex offender walks into a bar.

He orders a drink.

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A roman, an american, and a jewish man all died.

They were immediately sent to hell because they had committed some pretty unsettling offenses in their lives. The roman was a lustful sex offender, the american was extremely gluttonous, and the Jewish man was very greedy and stole lots of money over his lifetime.

Well, God was feeling pretty...

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LPT: If you are a minor, get rid of your bathroom mirror so you won't see yourself naked and accidentally get arrested and registered as a sex offender.

Spread the word.

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[NSFW] So our friend said her dance instructor warned the girls about a level 2 sex offender across the street from the studio

So I looked at her and asked what kind of loot he drops, and how much gold and XP he gives when killed.

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A sex offender's girlfriend left him saying that he didn't adore her body enough

Harassment nothing to him

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Did you hear about the sex offender at the Hershey factory?

He stole a Kiss

Did you hear about the first time offender who was in to BDSM?

He got off with nothing but a slap on the wrist.

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What does a vegan and registered sex offender have in common?

They both have to tell you about it straight away.

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LPT: If you've been convicted of a sex crime, change your name to offender.dll

Then no one will be able to find you in the registry.

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Why did the sex offender represent himself at his trial?

Because he thought he could get himself off.

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I can't believe we have a sex offender registry.

I mean, who's buying gifts for these people?

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