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We should have a TV show where illegal immigrants hunt down sex offenders for a chance at citizenship

We can call it "Alien vs Predator"

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Why do sex offenders never get speeding tickets?

Because they always drive slower in school zones

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What do you call sex offender semen?

Monster's ink.

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What’s a sex offenders favorite shoes ?

White Vans.

What's the difference between a new AAA and a violent offender?

One's a battery with charge and the other's charged with battery



*I came up with this myself but in case someone beat me to this one, not meant to be a repost*

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They say you have a 50% chance living next to a sex offender.

Lucky I live next to a sexy 12year old.

A bright, young, fresh-out-of-school auditor just joined the IRS, excited to begin tracking down high-powered offenders--such as the Enron or WorldCom guys. Anxious for his first high-powered audit, he was a bit dismayed when his assignment was to audit a Rabbi.

*Looking over the books and taxes were pretty straight forward and the Rabbi clearly very frugal, so he thought he'd make his day interesting by having a little fun with the Rabbi. "Rabbi," he said, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles."*

*"Yes," answered the Rabbi.*

*"Well, Rabbi,...

A woman is arrested for beating her husband up with his guitar collection.

The judge asked "First offender?"

The wife answered "No. First a Gibson. Then a Fender"

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What do you call a cat on a sex offenders list?

A purrvert

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What's the difference between a therapist and a sex offender

The space bar

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.

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I'm glad we have that sex offender registry.

Without, It would be so much harder to find new, like-minded friends in the neighborhood.

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Why was Ash Ketchum on a registered sex offenders list?

Because he was caught having a Pikachu.

A new battery factory in Northumberland will offer jobs to ex-offenders

Applicants for the posts will have to prove they haven’t been charged for the last twelve months.

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A sex offender, creep and a billionaire walk into a Manhattan bar

The bartender says
Wow Mr Epstein what'll it be.

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I went on the sex offender registry and found the addresses of all the sex offenders in my area, and sent them all hate mail.

Just to make sure they read it, I wrote the letters in crayon.

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Did you guys hear about that sex offender who had a fetish for bureaucracy?

He got off on a technicality...

Did you hear about the first time offender who was in to BDSM?

He got off with nothing but a slap on the wrist.

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I am officially a sex offender.

Every time I ask my wife for sex, she gets offended.

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What is a sexual offender that lurks on Reddit called?

A predditor

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LPT: If you are a minor, get rid of your bathroom mirror so you won't see yourself naked and accidentally get arrested and registered as a sex offender.

Spread the word.

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Want to hear a joke about sex offenders?

Never mind, it’s too touchy.

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A corrupt guy, a sex offender, a racist, a compulsive liar, an idiot and a terrible business man all walk into a golf course...

Welcome back Mr. President said the door man.

There was a short period of time in ancient history when offenders were not only nailed to a cross, but also burned alive

Fortunately, the practice ended and very few people were crucifried

We all know that seven ate nine... We were even more disgusted to hear that seven was a six offender... It turns out that the most infamous number didn’t stop there...

Seven cut four teens in half!

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A clown, a politian and a sex offender walks into a bar.

He orders a drink.

A perpetual criminal offender is brought to the court house for trial. However the judge is a duck wearing robes and a powdered wig

. The criminal is incensed, he shouts out "I will not be judged by a common duck"
The judge says to the defence lawyer "If you don't silence your client he will be held in contempt."
The defence says "Yes Mallard"

What do you call a stuttering thug?

A repeat offender.

6 was afraid of 7 because 789. But why did 7 eat 9?

Because he needed 3Β² meals a day.

How to stop repeat offenders?

Don't re-elect them!

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A sex offender's girlfriend left him saying that he didn't adore her body enough

Harassment nothing to him

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Australia should hire WWE wrestlers to enforce sentencing on convicted sex offenders.

That way we can have Undertaker and Mankind throw Pell in a cell.

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Needing a license to drive a car is fine.

I can understand needing a permit to carry a firearm.



I guess needing a degree to practice medicine makes sense -



But having to register to be a sex offender is just too much.

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How do you know which swimmer is the sex offender?

It’s the breast stroker

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They should just let sex offenders raid Area 51...

So that way it would be a real depiction of 'Aliens vs Predators'.

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Why did the sex offender represent himself at his trial?

Because he thought he could get himself off.

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