UPJOKE
peeklookuttercheepchirrupappearcrystareogleyawnnarywhispershriekpokingchirp

Peep Jokes

since lil peep died....

would you say he's an underground rapper now?

Woman calls 911 about a peeping tom in her yard

911: "How do you know he's a peeping tom?"

Woman: "When I asked him what he was doing out there, he said 'I was trying to get a pikachu'".

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

The pickpocket snatches your watch. The peeping tom does the opposite.

What's Little Bo Peep's favorite song?

Never Gonna Give "Ewe" Up

Peeping Tom

Bob told his friend, "My wife caught a Peeping Tom last night, and she'd have killed him if we hadn't stopped her." "He must have made her very angry, peeking at her, huh?" asked his friend. "No," said Bob.

"That's not what made her the maddest." "It's not?" "No," said Bob. "She got mad when ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Bro, that last chick was hot but...

...I'm still horny as fuck. What can I get with $3?" The Brothel Manager says: "Well, we can give you a Chimp."

Man takes the chimp into a room & gets down to business. Still unsatisfied, he goes back to the manager.

Man: "Hey man, the chimp was alright but I'm still horny as fuck....

Which superhero is the biggest peeping Tom?

Spied-her-man

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A peep of baby chickens were stuck in a hole

A rooster comes along and immediately offers to help, he runs back to the farm to get farmer’s BMW to pull out the baby chickens.

While the rooster was on his way to the farm, a horse comes along and stands over the hole, lowers his penis into the hole forming a ramp and all the chickens run...

Peeping Tom

Did you hear about the guy who got injured trying to be a Peeping Tom?
He's in the ICU.

What's your ringtone, peeps?

Mine's brown, like everybody else's!

What do you call a peeping Tom-Cat?

A purrrvert

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

These three drunk guys decide to go to the brothel. The madam sees them coming and tells the girls to just throw some blow up dolls in the rooms

These three drunk guys decide to go to the brothel. The madam sees them coming and tells the girls to just throw some blow up dolls in the rooms and turn the lights out. The guys are so drunk the won't know the difference.

30 minutes later the fellas are back out on the street. The first dru...

Woody walks in on Bo Peep cheating on him with Buzz...

"How could you do this!?" Woody shouts.

"Woody," says Bo Peep sheepishly, "You've got a friend in me."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I peeped into a glory hole.

And I got cockeyed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Batman and Robin go out for a few drinks

Both superheroes are exhausted after a long week of non-stop crime fighting, and decide to chill for a few a hours at the local watering hole.

Robin knows his friend has been working way too hard and for long hours. So he thinks, what the heck, he can get drunk and relax. He decides to remain...

Peeping Tom decided to spend more time at home . . .

He was trying to maintain a proper lurk/wife balance.

What do a peeping Tom and Pokemon fanboy have in common?

Both hide in the bushes trying to get a Pikachu!

What is the difference between Lil Peep and Punk?

Punk´s not dead

Where did the peeping Tom go when he fell out of a tree and broke his foot?

The I.C.U.

(Courtesy my nephew)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nun goes for a bath

Ten minutes in there's a knock on the door. She looks around to grab her towel but must have left it in the bedroom. She peeps out the window to see who has called.


''Who's there'' she yells
" Hi Sister Kathleen, it's the blind man " is the response


" He's probably loo...

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see's a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!

So he turns on his lights
and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five
old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the
back, wide eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him,
"Officer, I don't understand, I was ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy buys a vintage motorcycle he saw for sale in an ad in the paper.

When he goes to pick the bike up, the dude who sells him the bike says, "

"Now remember....that's all original leather. You can't let it get too wet. If it starts raining and you don't have anywhere to shelter it, make sure you keep a tub of vaseline with you. Rub it all over the seat so the ...

What’s it called when a Peeping Tom is skilled in his game?

Peak Performance

My other grandfather was a peeping tom

he use to drill holes in the floor and spy on the people in the apartment below. He died recently but I kind of like thinking about him up there somewhere.....looking down on us.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Spanish peeping tom?

Señor Boobies.

To see a peeping tom at my window while I’m changing is frightening....

But it still hurts when they reach in and pull the curtains shut

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do a Bird Watcher and a Peeping Tom have in common?

They both loving hanging out in trees looking for Great Tits!

When a person looks through your window at night it’s a “Peeping Tom,” but when an animal does it...

...It’s a Peking Duck.

There's an annual event for Peeping Toms this month

It's just around the corner

Where do Peeping Toms with foot fetishes hold their annual conference?

Topeka, KS

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is Democracy? A boy is asked at school as homework.

So the little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is democracy?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalist. Your Mom spends the money, so we'll call her the Government. Nanny is working at home for money, she's the w...

My first job was as a sign spinner for a peep-show. I was supposed to stand on the corner and attract attention by spinning a sign or acting crazy...

...whatever it took to keep the customers cummin'.

What kind of joke do peeping Toms like?

In-ya-window

Did anybody hear about the the peeping Tom who was caught?

He was beaten up so badly they sent him to the ICU.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a peeping tom and a rapist?

A rapist doesn't waste time beating around the bush

What do you get when you cross Deftones with a peeping tom?

"I watched you change"

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.