Instead of ‘Clue’, we should have a game called ‘Epstein’ where the objective is to find out who the murderer is.

Players include Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton and Prince Edwards!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution.

"Let's have sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile. "Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophi...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were being chased by an axe-murderer...

when they stumbled upon an old abandoned warehouse. Deciding that it was the safest place to hide, the three women entered the warehouse.

Along the back wall of the warehouse were three empty potato sacks laying on the ground. Thinking on their feet, each women got into a sack to hide from c...

What do you call a mass murderer on a bike?

A Cyclepath.

I read somewhere that in every group of 10 friends, one of them would become a murderer at some point.

I pushed my buddy Dave off a cliff, as I had a feeling it would've been him.

I've always wanted to be a murderer...

Helping socially inept crows get together has always been a dream of mine

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Marine returns from duty in Iraq and is immediately reassigned to a remote location in Afghanistan.

That evening he arrives at his new post; a run down mosque in the middle of nowhere.

As he switches over with the marine currently stationed there, he realises there is no bed, no clean water, no toilet, just him, his weapon and the dirt on the floor.

The next morning he wakes up to fi...

I'm a murderer

Others would kill to have my job

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sadist, masochist, arsonist and a murderer are sitting in a park next to each other.

A cat walks by and the murderer's instincts kick in:

"Lets kill the fucking cat!"

The sadist immediately disagrees:

"No lets torture it and THEN kill it!"

Arsonist chimes in:

"No! Come on you guys, lets torture it burn all its fur and THEN kill it!"

The maso...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A murderer a rapist and a cheater walk in a bar.

The bartender says, guys I told you a million times gillette stadium is next door.

What kinda murderer only kills in the mornings?

A cereal killer

What medicine is praised for being a murderer?

A pain killer

I sat down to eat my turkey sandwich and my wife yells, "Enjoying your meat, you murderer?"

I only wish one day goes by without her mentioning the time I killed her mother

I was eating a steak in my favorite restaurant, when a girl came to my table and shouted at me: "Enjoying your meat, murderer?!"

Seriously Rachel it was 15 years ago and your dad had a knife. Jeez.

Held up at gunpoint, Murderer asks if I have any last words

Murderer: “Well, what are they?”

Me: “Um, it’s a bit embarrassing”

Murderer: “Just spit it out, you’re about to be dead anyway”

Me: “Alright then. I’ve lived my life without a family, without a wife, and without any love. I have a good job, stable income, and even recently bough...

An antivaxxer, a child murderer, and a bioterrorist walk into a bar.

*walks

A murderer is to be executed by electric chair and the priests asks if he has any last request.

The man asks for the priest to hold his hand. Needless to say, the priest was shocked.

A klansmen, a domestic abuser and a murderer walk into a bar...

The bartender asks “what’ll it be officer?”

Does anyone know of any forums for fellow ax murderers?

We can share LifeHacks ...

What Do You Call A Murderer Who Likes Classic Rock?

Killer Queen

An Englishman, A Scotsman and an Irish man are running away from a murder

They run into a bar and say to the bartender “quick, we need somewhere to hide, there’s a man trying to kill us!”

The bartender says “there are some sacks in the cellar, hide in them, just pretend to be what was in them before you emptied them.”

So they run downstairs to hide in the sa...

Why do mass murderers get excited for halloween?

Because they get to carve something legally.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a sadist, a zoophile, a murderer, a necrophiliac, an arsonist and a masochist all sitting around a table in a mental institution.

Suddenly the sadist says, let's torture a cat. Then the zoophile says yeah let's torture a cat and then have sex with it. Then the murderer says, let's torture a cat, have sex with it and then kill it. The necrophiliac follows up with, let's torture a cat, have sex with it, kill it and then have sex...

Three murderers are on death row. The day rolls around for their execution. The first man sits in the electric chair and the priest says...

“Any last words?” The murderer exclaims “I’m innocent!” They pull the handle, but nothing happens. The electricity doesn’t run. The priest, astonished, says “that’s a 1 in a million chance, it must be a sign from god. you have be telling the truth.” And the first murderer is free to go.

The s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four guys are sitting in a jail cell, a zoophile, a murderer, a necrophile and a masochist

Zoophile: I'd so fuck a kitten right now
Murderer: I'd kill it
Necrophile: I'd fuck the corpse
Masochist: Meow\~

Goldilocks was killed for eating someone else's porridge.

The murderers did it with their bear hands.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We need a wall right now. There is a crazed horde of savages at the southern border just waiting to stomp our country flat. They are murderers and rapists and terrorists! And some might be good people.

Canada really needs a wall right now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sadist, a rapist, a murderer, an arsonist, a necrophile and a masochist see a cat in the street

The sadist proclaims loudly, "I want to torture that cat."

Not to be easily outdone, the rapist says, "I want to torture that cat and then fuck it."

Following suit, the murderer says "I want to torture the cat, fuck it and then kill it."

The arsonist says, "I wanna torture the c...

What is the differrence between a Saudi murderer and a Mexican murderer?

a few billion dollars.

A mob drags a man into a police station for running over 13 people, while shouting "Murderer!" "Killer"

A mob drags a man into a police station for running over 13 people, while shouting "Murderer!" "Killer "
The policeman disperses the crowd and begins to interrogate the suspect.

The policeman :" Tell me what happened. "

The suspect :" Sir I was driving home within the speed limit ...

My friend got arrested for saying he was an axe murderer.

Turns out he's just a really bad guitarist.

Q: what kind of murderer has moral fiber?

A: a cereal killer

A murderer is being hanged for his crimes...

A murderer is being hanged for his crimes, one of the officers ask him,” Do you have any last wishes?” The murderer replies,” Yes, actually can I get a high five?” The police officer is confused but agrees, he then asks the murderer why he wanted such a weird last wish, the murder then replies,” I j...

Why did the chicken cross the road?

His family was experiencing financial trouble, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, they just didn't work out. After ending up working in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he got shot, landing him to the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him...

I’ve dedicated my life to find my wife’s murderer.

If you can recommend someone, let me know.

What's the shortest biography you can write for a convicted murderer?

A life sentence.

Did you hear about how they caught the murderer in Bel Air?

They found some fresh prints at the scene

A detective walks away from a crime scene "another cold blooded murderer"

"what's turning all these lizards to crime?"

Why don't murderers often attend tea parties?

They prefer a casual tea.

A murderer wants to get rid of the evidence

by throwing it into the local sea. However, there's a catch - the town's richest man owns a lot of property, including the sea and all its beaches. The rich man is somewhat paranoid of people trespassing on his property, so he has a private police force. The police are split into 4 teams, named Poli...

What kind of killer targets Catholic churches?

A mass murderer

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.