A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A king suspected that his queen was being unfaithful

So he secretly taped a tiny razor blade to her vagina. Three days later, he ordered his knights to drop their pants. They all had bandaged penises, except for one. The king said to him, "I always knew you were my most loyal knight!"

He replied, "It wath nothing, your magethy"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A suspected COVID-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital,

wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his Deckhand and sent an agent to investigate him.

IRS AUDITOR: “I Need A List Of Your Employees And How Much You Pay Them".


Boat Owner: “Well, There's Clarence, My Deckhand, He's Been With Me For 3 Years. I Pay Him $1,000 A Week Plus Free Room And Board. Then There's The Mentally Challenged Guy. He Works About 18 Hours Every Day And Does...

An elderly woman was taken to court suspected of having killed the 4 husbands she'd had. There, the prosecutor starts the interrogation;

"How did your first husband die?" Asked the prosecutor.

"He ate soup made with poisonous mushrooms" Answered the woman.

"And, how did your second husband die?".

"He ate soup made with poisonous mushrooms".

The court gasps.

The prosecutor follows on "How did your th...

A cello player was found dead earlier this week. Police suspect he was murdered

They think the crime was orchestrated, but could not rule out a random act of violins

Based on Lebron's acting skills, I suspect Space Jam 2...

Will be a flop.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wealthy man suspects his wife is cheating on him..

A wealthy man suspects his wife is cheating on him. He decides he'd call in during his work day and try to catch his wife in the act. A woman's voice answers the phone, "Hello?"

"Hello? Who is this?" the man replies. The voice responds, "I'm the housekeeper. I was hired this morning. Sh...

Criminal suspect identification.

Police detective: 'What can you remember about your mugger?'

Victim: 'He was slim built, with dark hair and wore a cap.'

Police detective: 'Anything else you remember?'

Victim: 'He had a moustache, about 6 foot 2.'

Police detective: That's one hell of a moustache

As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden.

*The plot thickens.*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Harley & The dishes (NSFW)

A guy named Joe heads into his local Harley Davidson dealership with a fistfull of dollars and starts looking for his dream motorbike. The dealer looks at Joe's choice and states that while Joe's choice in motorcycle was respectable, the older style Harleys not only held their value better, but in m...

Cheating for "Good" Reasons

An elderly couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"

Martha replied, "We...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men die and are standing in line at the pearly gates.

St. Peter tells them that the rules have changed, and they can only be let in to heaven now if they have had a really bad death. He then proceeds to get their stories one at a time.

The first man explains. "I live on the 25th floor of my apartment building. I came home from work early today, ...

I was pulled over by the police for a suspected DUI. They ask me to get out of my car.

Officer: We Are Going To Give You A Sobriety Test.
Me: OK

Officer: Say The Alphabet Starting At L, Backward.

Me: L At Starting Alphabet The.

They Let Me Go.

I'm starting to suspect I was cloned from my older brother

All my genes are hand-me-downs

*Adapted from a song by His Royal Weirdness

A lady suspects her house is haunted and converts it into a tavern...

She was possessed by the entrepreneurial spirit.

A husband suspects his wife may be going deaf.

To test this, he goes a few feet behind her, and softly whispers “Honey, can you hear me?”

There is no response, so he takes a step forward, and softly says again “Honey, can you hear me?” Again, there is no response

The husband goes right behind his wife, and again says “Honey can yo...

A man was brought to the police station to describe the suspect for a police sketch but is hesitant because the perpetrator was actually him.

His conscience urges him to tell the truth. It might as well be his self-defining moment.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A king suspected his queen of infidelity

Once a king suspected his queen of infidelity. She was pretty promiscuous and he suspected her of sleeping around. So he devised a plan. When she was sleeping, he planted a knife in her privates. He then went hunting for a week. When he came back, he told all his courtiers to strip down. Everyone ha...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An arab was wrongfully taken into custody at the airport..

After feeling humiliated by the incident he decided to hire a lawyer to sue the TSA

The lawyer tells him “I’m sorry this happened to you. Ever since 9/11, your people have been forced to live in fear. This needs to stop! Now tell me exactly what happened?”

The arab goes on to explain h...

An elderly man suspected his wife was losing her hearing

So he decided to test his suspicions. He stood about 20 feet behind her and asked, “Can you hear me, my love?” But she didn’t respond.

So he got about 10 feet away from her and asked her again, “Can you hear me, sweetie?”

When she didn’t say anything, he got up to 5 feet from her and a...

A woman goes to the doctor because she suspects she might have covid

She enters the office and while she was in the middle of explaining her symptoms the doctor with a blushed face calls his assistant and asks for a room to admit the woman into the hospital.

The woman surprised says "Are you sure I have covid? It's just a mild cough and I haven't been even tes...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was dragged into a white van in the middle of the street

He finds himself in an interogation room where he is being accused with treason, and he must tell on his accomplices. The man is definitely innocent. After a few hours the investigators bring this big Russian guy , Igor, and tell him to go down to the basement and fuck the guy in the ass until he co...

The private detective is called to a crime scene

As he enters the very large and rustic mansion, he is led to the location where the body was found. It seems like the perfect crime scene. No prints, no clues, just a dead man, with no signs of how he was murdered.

The detective says: “do you have any suspects?” The police officer in charge o...

A doctor is eating a late lunch at his favorite Chinese restaurant when he hears the dreaded words:

"Is there a doctor in the building?!"

He strides to the back where he sees the manager and a patron who looks pale and shaky.

"We've just had two people come down with some kind of sickness," the manager says, "the lady here, and another gentleman in the bathroom."

"How do you ...

They say in every friend group, 1 person is likely to commit murder.

I killed the guy I suspected before they could do any harm.

How did the dyslexic cop subdue the violent male suspect ?

He used his NUTS gun.

A boss calls a meeting to discuss employees taking sick days when they aren’t sick.

He had suspected that this had been happening, but he finally had his proof. He held up a copy of the newspaper, and in the sports section, there was an article about an employee, who had supposedly been sick, winning a golf tournament.

“Wow” said someone in the back. “Imagine the score he co...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old fisherman suspected his wife of cheating, so he hired a private investigator...

This is a long one, so bear with me.

The fisherman and his wife lived in Saint John’s, Newfoundland and he made his living by going out into the ocean to net cod under the watchful eye of his captain.

In those days, the best fishing was to be found far out on the banks very far from...

What did the patient say that made the doctor suspect he had the English strain of COVID-19?

I miss the smell of Marmite.

I'm beginning to suspect that the Tinnitus Hotline isn't actually staffed

Any time I call, it just keeps ringing.

Three Men stand before the gates of heaven

The angel who was the keeper of the pearl gates then asks how each of the three mean died. The first man, a big burly individual said "I'd suspected my wife of cheating for some time now, so I came home early to confront her when I was positive the other man was somewhere in our apartment. And when ...

It's a very busy day in heaven, so God tells the angel at the gate to only allow people in who've had a terrible last day on earth.

The angel calls the first guy up, and asks him how his last day on earth was. "Horrible! My last day on earth was the worst in my life! I came home from work early, because I was suspecting that my wife was cheating on me, and when I went into my house I saw her naked in bed! I checked all the cupbo...

The police chief asked, "Do you have any leads or suspects for the murder case?" The officer responded, "I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress." The chief frowned and said...

"Please, just wear your police uniform."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man suspected his wife was cheating on him.

He came home at lunch time and snuck in the house, to find his wife with another man on top of her. So he hit the guy upside the head with a lamp, knocking him out cold.

When the guy woke up, he was in the detached garage with his dick trapped in vise, with the handle broken off so there was ...

After a gruesome murder in Greenland the suspect is taken in for questioning by the police.

Inspector: Would you mind telling us where you were on the night from October 11th to March 5th?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Police have arrested a man for having sex with fruit, but they suspect a second perpetrator may still be at large.

The inspector released a statement saying "These people do tend to cum in pears."

A man suspected his wife was cheating on him, so when he left town, he hired a famous Chinese detective to investigate. A few days later, he received this letter:

Most Honorable Sir,

You leave house, he come to house. He and she leave house, I follow. He and she go to hotel, I climb tree to see. He kiss she, she kiss he. He strip she, she strip he. I play with me, I fall out of tree, I not see.

No fee,

Chen Lee

4, 6, 8 & 9 have all been killed.

2, 3, 5, 7 & 11 are the prime suspects.

A camel decided to educate his son who he suspected was getting a little insquisitive...

"Why do we have two humps," asked the son.
"That's so we can go for days without water. We can store it in the humps."

"Why do we have very long eyelashes?
"That," he was told, "is to protect the eyes from sand in a sand storm."

"And why do we have bulbous looking feet?"
"That...

Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, recently received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them.

On the appointed day, the inspector turned up. "Tell me about your staff," he asked Paddy.

"Well," said Paddy, "there's the farm hand, I pay him £240 a week, and he has a free cottage.

Then there's the housekeeper. She gets £190 a week, along with free board and lodging.

There's...

3 Guys are waiting in line to enter heaven

Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so St. Peter had to tell the first guy, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've sus...

Why was the seafood restaurant being investigated by the IRS?

They were suspected of being a shell company in some fishy business.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got stopped on my Harley and well shit..

I think my license might be in jeopardy..
and all just because of a stupid state trooper...
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over on my bike:
Trooper: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"
Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."
Trooper: "...

I suspect there is some truth in this...

Doctor : The patient died due to the coronavirus

Relatives : It wasn’t the virus,he had a heart attack

Doctor : Really, why did he have a heart attack?

Relatives : He was really upset and was continually under a lot of stress

Doctor : I see. Why was he upset?

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

John Travolta was hospitalized for suspected COVID-19

but doctors now confirm that it was only Saturday Night Fever, and they assure everyone that he is Staying Alive.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

English Football joke.

A policeman stops a suspected drunk driver and asks him to take a

breath test, the driver pulls out a medical card which says 'this man

is asthmatic please do not take his breath.'

So the policeman asks him to take a blood test, the man then

pulls out another card which ...

A man calls his doctor because he suspects he has Corona

They discuss his symptoms and conclude that he indeed has the disease.

Doctor: you will need to start the 3P diet.

Man: the 3P diet? What's that?

Doctor: pizza, pancakes, and panini

Man: but doctor, why?

Doctor: because they fit under the door

Not This Time

A man is blessed with four beautiful daughters but he always wanted a son. So he and his wife get to work and they try and try and finally are able to conceive a son. When the son is born, it's one ugly baby. The husband is visibly upset and suspects his wife cheated on him and decides to confront h...

A duck and a detective are investigating a crime scene.

Duck: It looks like the man was stabbed

Detective : Do you suspect fowl play?

Duck: please focus, there may be a killer on the loose.

Detective: You’re right, I really hope we can quack this case and put it to bread

Cop: Suspect is dancing naked downtown.

Dispatcher: Copy that.

Cop: I'll try but I'm not much of a dancer.

I would make a joke about how I first suspected I had COVID

But I lost the taste for it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man suspect his wife that she might be deaf

She is not responding to his words
So he decided to test her hearing
He entered the Kitchen where she were making launch, he stood near the door, shouted: honey what's the launch? No response from the wife, he gets closer, honey, WHAT is the launch!
No response, get closer and closer HONEY,...

Uh-oh. I think the object of my affections suspects something.

She's changed her WiFi name to "HeyYouInTheTreeIveCalledThePolice".

Police suspect that a recent string of burglaries have been committed by a person obviously suffering from severe IBS. The culprit has left their "calling card" at each house they've broken into.

Unfortunately, the police have no firm leads.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman gets pulled over by a policeman for suspected drunk driving.

“Madam, you’re suspected for drunk driving. Please blow this for me for a breath alcohol test.”

“What the hell? That’s your penis, not the breathalyser!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were drunk.”

An old man suspects that his wife has become deaf as she wasn't responding to him

So he calls the doctor to make an appointment. The doctor suggests to make a rough measure of her deafness before bringing her into the hospital.

He sees her wife working at the kitchen.

He stands 30 feet away from her and asks,
"Honey, is the dinner ready?"
She doesn't respond<...

Let me tell you the story of obi wan, the suspected cannibal.

Anakin was sitting at the dining table waiting for obi wan to finish chopping up the meat for dinner. Obi wan: You know Anakin, dinner is gonna cost you. Anakin: How much do I pay to eat? Obi wan: 2 legs and an arm!

I have always suspected that people are selfish and during disasters will only look after number 1...

...but the Corona virus is proving they are more concerned with number 2's.

Weight loss

There is an overweight guy who is watching TV. A commercial comes on for a guaranteed weight loss of 10 pounds in a week. So the guy, thinking what the hell, signs up for it. Next morning an incredibly beautiful woman is standing at his door in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign about he...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rich business man suspected his wife of cheating

So he hired a shady private investigator to confirm his suspicions. One afternoon while at work he gets a call from the PI to meet him top of a high rise building. He immediately rushes there. Once there the PI hands him a pair of binoculars and points across the street at the neighbouring high rise...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband suspects his wife is having an affair.

But he fails to gather the adequate proof necessary to blame her.
One day after coming home he sees her wife in bed, stark naked.
"So my suspicion was right! Where is that bastard?" he shouts in anger and swiftly rushes to look for him.
He doesn't find anyone but right when he was about to ...

I suspect my local greengrocer is overcharging for veg.

He's only charged me full price for an undersized lettuce, but I'm sure this is just the tip of the iceberg.

Why did the police officer arrest the artist as a murder suspect?

He was a sketchy dude.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mob dragged a man into a police station for running over 11 people, while shouting "Monster!" "Murderer!" "Killer! ".

The policeman dispersed the crowd and began to interrogate the suspect.

The policeman : Tell me what happened.

The suspect : Sir I was driving home within the speed limit when my brakes failed. I had no choice but to either crash the car into a group of 10 people or to swerve into th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving.

The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says :

"Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"

The drunk says "No shit, that's why I took my car!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly man suspects that his wife may be losing her hearing

He knows his wife doesn't want to accept the fact that she is getting older and isn't as youthful as she used to be. So he goes to the doctor himself to ask if anything can be done about it.

Man: Doc, I think my wife may be losing her hearing. Is there anything I can do for her?

Docto...

A cop sees a dancing suspect

Cop: Suspect is engaging in high-profile break-dancing in the main square

Radio: Copy that

Cop: I’ve had a couple breakdance lessons but I’m no way as good as him sir

I WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT MY GIRLFRIEND IS NOW EATING FOR TWO!!! after a doctor's visit yesterday he confirmed what we’ve been suspecting for weeks now.

she has a tapeworm.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Wise Rabbi

A nazi once approached a Jewish rabbi.
"How are you jews so clever? Tell me or I'll kill you!" he demanded.
The rabbi stroked his beard. "Ok, I'll tell you, but first you must become more spiritual. Go and fast for 40 days. Each day, immerse yourself in freezing water."

40 days later, ...

I suspect the motor in my massage chair is starting to go...

It’s been giving me some bad vibes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An English lord suspected his wife of cheating

So he hires a private detective to follow her.

On Sunday they meet.

"Well Mortimer" says the lord "what have you discovered?"

"Well sir, on Saturday your wife left at a quarter past three, went into the city, met a man at a five to four, by half past six they left for the cinem...

A worker was suspected of stealing

Every day the security guys would check his wheelbarrow when he was leaving the factory site. They never found anything. It took them weeks to realize that he was stealing wheelbarrows.

after 3 weeks of lockdon

I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself

Jane and Erica are talking in heaven

"How did you die?" Jane asks Erica.
She replies, "I froze to death."
"Oh, that's terrible!" says Jane.
"It wasn't too bad, after a while you start to get a sort of peaceful feeling, just before you black out. How did you die?"
"Well," she says, "I suspected my husband was cheat...

FBI questioning a murder suspect

Q: When did you go to her house?

A: Never

Q: Where are you from?

A: Ghana

Q: Did you sell or give those to her?

A: Give

Q: Who did you contact first?

A: You

Q: Where did you go after you contacted us?

A: Up

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jean suspects her husband is gay

She confronts him about it one day and asks him, “Do you even love me?”

“Of course I do! I love you, Jean!”

She starts crying and screams “I KNEW IT! WHO THE FUCK IS EUGENE?!”

A stationery store was broken into. Box files, wall calendars and appointment diaries were stolen.

Police suspect highly organised crime.

Suspect: I’m innocent! He died of natural causes.

Police: There was clear evidence that you pushed him off the roof.

Suspect: Well, gravity is natural.

I'm beginning to suspect my cat is secretly a Chinese communist.

All she ever talks about is Mao.

Suspecting a Cheating Spouse

I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs...phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently, although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Principal walks into a history class

A principal walks in the school grounds to see how well the students do in their classes.

He walks into a history class and asks the teacher to stop the lesson, so he can ask a few questions.

"Tell me, kids... Do you know who killed Julius Caesar?". The classroom stays silent...
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife suspected I was cheating, so to catch me she hired a prostitute to flash her breasts and try to seduce me.

I didn't fall for that shit... I can spot a booby trap a mile away.

The police were called to a local playground

The police were called to a local playground with reports of hundreds of chickens running wild there.

They thought it was a prank call at first, but now they suspect fowl play.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

MEN'S HELP LINE - Letter of the Month

Hi John,

I really need your advice on a serious problem: I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes h...

Next!

A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand.

Sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. She points the gun at her boyfriend at stares him dow...

What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect?

Where were you on the night of September to March?

My partner was afraid that I was cheating, which I wasn’t.

She came to me one evening, very serious. I knew something was going on. She asked, in that tone that instantly puts a lump in your throat, “I suspect you’ve been unfaithful. Do you have a sec to talk?”

I wanted her to know she has my full attention, so I replied, “I have a lot of secs!”
<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man begins to suspect he has a tapeworm, so he goes to the doctor...

The doctor examines him and confirms that yes, he does have a tapeworm. "And it's a pretty wily one, too. Every time I try to yank it out, it just darts away. I'm gonna have to resort to more unorthodox methods..."

The man doesn't like the sound of that, but he's desperate to get rid of the p...

A woman visits the doctor as she has some strange symptoms and suspects she may be pregnant.

After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope your husband likes changing diapers".

She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?"

To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I suspected my wife might be cheating on me so I went to my psychic to find out

And there she was, licking that bitch's pussy.

I've always suspected my wife was cheating. Yesterday I found the evidence I was looking for...

She kept the monopoly money hidden in the cushion of the couch.

I suspect my wife has put superglue on all my firearms.

She denies it of course but I’m sticking to my guns!

A man comes home early after a long day of work (NSFW)

As soon as he walks through the door, something seems different today. At the door there is a new pair of shoes. Already suspecting his wife the man grabs his rifle and sneaks towards the bedroom. Listening at the door he hears moaning and screaming from the inside. In rage he opens the door and sho...

Why did the police suspect the fish sold drugs?

Because they noticed he had a lot of small scales with him.

Holmes and Watson are on a camping trip.

In the middle of the night, Holmes wakes up and gives Watson a nudge. "Watson," he says, "look up in the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions of stars, Holmes," says Watson.

"And what do you conclude from that, Watson?"

Watson thinks for a moment. "Well," he says, "a...

Why do detectives look to a Will when searching for murder suspects?

Because a Will is a dead giveaway.

Cop: You're going to prison for forgery

Suspect: *hands over a 37 dollar bill*

Suspect: What was it you were saying?

An inspector calls a suspect into the interrogation room

Suspect: Why am I hear?

Inspector: I will be the one asking questions around here.

Suspect: Is that so?

Inspector: Yes, absolutely... Damn it!!!

A detective and his partner were tracking a thief--their two suspects were an Eskimo and a Canadian.

The detective had told his partner he knew it was the Eskimo, but he didn't have any hard evidence to support his theory.

Finally, at a stakeout, they caught the criminal in the act--and sure enough, as they emerged from the shadows, the perpetrator was the Eskimo. Vindicated, the detective...

The U.K. police are looking for a robbery suspect that looks like “Ross” from Friends.

No one ever told him life was gonna be this way.

Cop: We suspect you have illegally downloaded all the editions of Encyclopedia Brittanica.

Man: Wait! I can explain everything!

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

6 never did trust 7. Sure, they worked closely together, but 7 always seemed at odds with him. 6 always preferred the company of 4, a perfect 10 of a duo, even though 2 kept them apart.
But when it came to 7? 6 always summed it up to bad luck. Then, 6 found the truth.
6 respected 9, even thoug...

I’m starting to suspect my neighbor is a communist.

He just puts up a lot of red flags.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman suspects her husband is cheating on her.

One day, she dials her home and a strange woman answers.
The woman says, " Who is this?" "This is the maid," answered the woman.
"We don't have a maid" , said the woman.

The maid says, "I was hired this morning by the man of the house.
The woman says, "Well, this is his wife. Is h...

If someone says "Someone in this room has a bomb," I can't rule myself out as a suspect.

- Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Note7

Police asked the husband "Did you witness the suspect murder your wife?" The husband said "Yes."

Police: "Mind me ask why you did not intervene?"

Husband: "He looked like he was capable of doing it alone."

Why was Pythagoras not considered a suspect in murder case?

No knew what his angle was.

One day God visits St. Peter at the pearly gates and tells him heaven is too crowded and to not let so many people in and gives St Peter a quota for each day.

Later that day 3 men approach looking for entrance into heaven. Peter turns to the men and tells them that only 1 of them is able to enter into heaven. To decide which one gets in he asks them how they died. He tells them that the man with the best death story will get into heaven.

The first ...

Why did the doctor suspect Dracula may have a breathing problem?

Because of his coffin.

The United States finally outlawed the waterboarding of suspected terrorists!

They have decided to replace it with a more politically correct interrogation method: Tactical Baptism

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.