Felon Jokes - 22 Hilarious Felon Jokes

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A convicted felon….

A convicted felon escaped from prison where he'd already spent 15 years of a life sentence. He broke into a local farmhouse in the middle of the night looking for food and money and while in there he discovered a young couple asleep in their bed. He woke them up violently and ordered the guy out of ...

Why is the government so worried about a Hispanic felon who's hard of hearing?

Because that's Deaf-Con Juan.

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I'm compiling a book of poems by felons.

I'm going to call it "Prose and Cons".

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I asked my boss if we would ever hire felons to run pipe.

He said no, they won't let a conduit.

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Been thinking about starting a program to rehabilitate felons through the power of writing

So I've been considering all the prose and cons.

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The average paid athlete weighs more than the average felon

The pros outweigh the cons

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Never ask a felon to organize something numerically

Not unless you're prepared to handle the con sequences.

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What do you call a pretentious felon falling down a flight of stairs?

A condescending con descending

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I was at the courthouse today and witnessed a 4 foot tall felon go down a flight of stairs....

It was a little condescending.

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What does a felon falling from an airplane and a significant other talking down to you have in common?

Condescending

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Why did the felon have so much energy?

He was well arrested!

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Felons would be a really valuable voting base...

After all, we know they have conviction.

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If a felon writes a song about the good and bad things in his life...

...does that mean he just made a list of Prose and Cons?

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What do recent college graduates and felons have in common?

It takes three to five years before anyone will hire them.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me and another coworker were competing to see who was the best at our drug testing job. I was winning until i misplaced a felon's probation samples.

So I guess I lost that pissing contest

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If having a big dick was a crime

I would be a felon. Not because I have a big dick, but because I ran over several children on purpose.

What do you call a criminal who laughs at everything you say?

Jimmy Felon

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Students training to be police officers were given the following difficult examination question.

**A student training to be police officer was given the following difficult examination question:**

>"You're on street patrol when an explosion occurs on a nearby road. You investigate and discover an overturned van besides a large crater. Both occupants of the van are injured, and smell ...

What do you call someone who steals a Tesla?

Felon Musk.

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A criminal was pushed on to the ground

he *felon* his ass

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When a cop asks a criminal about local crimes, they're "consulting with their CI"

When I ask a criminal about local crimes, I'm "consorting with known felons" and "violating my parole."

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A homeless man is sitting in a bar

After a few drinks he begins speaking to a young lady. The homeless man mentions he feels it's unfair that he be homeless, seeing as he has a college degree.

Startled, the young lady asks, "Well, what did you study in college?"

The homeless man replies, "I had a major in Biotechnology ...

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