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Parties Jokes

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The best joke to tell at parties

3 guys find out that they have 3 weeks to live. They realize that they have nothing to show for in their lives, so they each decide to try getting into the Guinness Book of World Records. The first guys says, "I have pretty long arms, maybe I have the longest arms in the world!" The second guy says,...

With all the pictures of Epstein attending parties, talking to important people and generally socialising

It's obvious he didn't like to hang by himself

My government is spreading obviously false covid-19 info about x-mas parties

Here in Sweden the government lies and says that we can have Christmas gatherings of up to 8 people without any problems. Such obvious bull! Who knows 8 people without any problems?

Why don't calculus majors throw house parties?

Because you should never drink and derive.

How does NASA organise parties?

They Planet

What dessert do swingers serve at their parties?

Pineapple upside down cake.

When I go to parties, I always bring my teddy bear with me

It's my plush one.

What do scientists bring to parties?

Sodium, Carbon, Helium, Oxygen, and Sulfur!

Why did the mushroom stop going to parties?

He was tired of people telling him he was a fun guy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are firefighters good at parties?

Because they always bring the hose.



(Repost cos I fucked up spellings first time)

Millennial old folks homes are gonna be awesome!

LAN parties, DnD nights, wheelchair races, having awesome songs from the 2000's as our golden oldies! It'll be great, especially if we can line up our work schedules!

Why do political parties hate organised crime?

They don't like voter competition.

I'm reading a new suspense thriller about a murder who strikes at EDM parties

It's by Dean Koontz Koontz Koontz Koontz Koontz

Why do vigilante parties suck?

Because just ice is served.

I love throwing house warming parties

**But for some reason the police keep calling it 'Arson'.**

Why was the mushroom invited to all the best parties?

He was a fungi!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex with me is just like my childhood birthday parties

No one ever comes and I cry when it's all over

You know, absinthe plays a huge part in the origin of what we now call bachelor parties.

It was a tradition for a man's friends to take him to an upscale bar just before his wedding and order him a glass or two of the ol' green fairy. If he truly loved his fiancee and was ready for the match, it was a fun night away from her with friends, celebrating his love. If he was having doubts, i...

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In breaking news, Trump’s personal library has burned down.

The fire consumed both books and in a tragic twist, he hadn’t even finished coloring the second one.





Edit: Wow! Thank you for all of the awards, I didn't anticipate that. Some people need to relax though. This is just a freakin' joke, not the agenda of a movement.

Also,...

The MI5, the CIA and the KGB are having a competition

Three small parties of all three Agencies meet on neutral ground, on the edge of a big german forest.

For the goal of the competition, they decided that each of their parties should catch a rabbit, using their espionage skills. The party that manages to catch the rabbit the quickest, wins....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Anal sex parties are the worst.

There’s a lot of fuckin’ assholes there.

Why doesn't Emperor Zurg ever get invited to parties?

Because he's such a buzz kill.

A woman died at her office birthday party.

She said she wanted yellow cake. Long story short, we're not allowed to have any more parties at the nuclear plant.

How does the cow own the dance floor at barnyard parties?

He's got the moos like Jagger.

Why are moon parties so damn boring?

Cuz there is no atmosphere!

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