UPJOKE
mitt romneybarack obamarepublicanohiojohn mccainnew dealrichard nixongerald fordronald reaganmountain statespartyrepublican partymassachusettsrepublicansdemocrats

The devil is surprised one day to find a habitual liar, a pervert, an idiot and a man in a wheelchair entering hell.

Still, he keeps his professional demeanor and extends a warm welcome saying, "Greetings, Representative Cawthorn. You're just in time, the daily GOP cocaine orgy is just beginning."

How many members of the GOP does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They use gaslighting

How did the GOP shoot themselves in the foot?

With a Cult 45.


***
Also works with, “How does a democracy die?”, etc.

Sorry if someone already thought of this, thought it was clever and didn’t see it after a quick glance.

How is the GOP like a blizzard?

It's all just a bunch of white snowflakes covering everything up.



In my very sleep-deprived state, I came up with that and managed to make myself laugh. Hopefully you get a chuckle out of it. Have a nice day!

The GOP announced a new slogan today...

“We’re not just morally bankrupt, *we’re Roy Mooreally bankrupt!”*

How many GOP congressmen does it take to change a light bulb?

Doesn't matter, light wasn't burnt out, they haven't had any bright ideas in decades to turn it on.

The GOP have placed all their chips on Brett Kavanaugh

They don't believe in plan B

Saw a headline that started with "45% of Alabama GOP voters think" ...

... and I stopped reading because that part was surprising enough.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between Jews and the GOP?

Jews always pass the bill.

Why doesn't the GOP establishment want Trump as their nominee?

They hate colored people.

GOP Lemonade Stand

A Republican senator has set up a lemonade stand selling lemonade for a dollar to raise money for his campaign and remind his constituents of “the good old days”. It’s a big success, as many parents and grandparents take their children and grandchildren to show them how they used to make money back ...

The GOP are already polluting our rivers.

Found a Klansman at the bottom of one not too long ago.

The political parties can't agree on what a second economic stimulus package should look like. Democrats want every American to receive a $1,200.00 check, while Republicans favor giving everybody 10 pounds of Parmesean cheese.

The GOP wants to "Make America Grate Again".

A guy is driving past the White House....

...and he sees that the road is blocked, but they are letting cars through one at a time. There are crowds on the sidewalk, shouting, but he can't hear what's being said.

Finally he gets to the roadblock, and rolls down his window. "What's going on?" he asks.

"Donald Trump has had ...

It's a shame the immigrants and their kids at the U.S. border aren't named Church and State

then the GOP would never separate them.

I think we can get Republicans on board with climate change initiatives if we just focus on consequences that mean something to them.

I've read that polar ice is melting causing polar bears to migrate south.  They've actually started sharing habitat with grizzly bears and are even interbreeding with them. Now if there's one thing Republicans hate more than science it's interracial marriage. So all we need to do is let them know th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men walk into a tattoo parlor...

The first man asks for a tattoo of a four leaf clover on his dick because he loves to fuck Irish girls.

The second man asks for a tattoo of a cross on his dick because he loves to fuck Christian girls.

The third man asks to tattoo the entire GOP Tax Bill on his dick because he loves fu...

looking for a great stand up comedy show?

just watch the GOP debate

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jokes for the week of 4/6-4/12

A French breast scientist advises against wearing bras after a thorough study, thus tying for the best job ever and the best news ever.

A GOP rep said not gays nor NAMBLA can redefine marriage. Thankfully, nine fabulous people in robes can. ‪#suckit‬ ‪#nohomo‬ ‪#somehomo‬ ‪#yeshomo‬

Ki...

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