How do you start an Ethiopian rave?

Nail food to the ceiling

How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?

Duct tape a piece of bread to the ceiling.

What do vegetarians say at a rave?

Lettuce Turnip the Beet

I took an epileptic girl to a rave

I jokingly told her, "I hear this place has rave reviews", but she just rolled her eyes at me.

How do you start a rave in a sorority house?

Tape a box of Uggs to the roof.

Being a clumsy chemist is like going to the rave...

Sometimes you drop the base and trip on acid.

A church in my neighborhood has started having raves every night...

They're Crystal Methodists.

Why do people take acid at raves?

Because there's so much base.

What do horses eat at a rave?

Oats Oats Oats Oats

What do you call a a bunch of epileptic vegans at a rave?

Seizure Salad

I'm thinking of hosting a rave in an Oakland warehouse...

I can use my mixtape. Its fire.

A rave is being thrown at the White House tonight inauguration of the new President

ft. DJ Trump

What do bears get at raves?

Mauly.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My buddy got me the clapper for my birthday....

Now every time my wife and i have sex its like a rave

Did I ever tell you about my old girlfriend who had Epilepsy?

I went to a rave. I thought it was so cool that I filmed it. But when I showed it to her, she just rolled her eyes.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[Long] Lori was assistant manager at the Sex Shoppe, and had been for a long time wondering, when do I get my shot at being Manager?

One day, her boss, the owner, said, “Lori, I have to go on a business trip for the weekend. You’re in charge. Let’s see how you handle it. You know the business well enough. Just remember, the new dildo line goes on sale Saturday. That’s $25 for the white dildos, and $50 for the black dildos.”
...

What do you call it when Edgar Allen Poe hosts an indoor strobe party?

A Rave-in

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Guru (potentially NSFW depending on words used)

Bill and Jeff are sitting at the local - Bill is complaining to Jeff that his elbow his hurting him and that he will have to go to the doctor and pay the high medical bills/etc that will come with it...


Jeff tells Bill to forget that, he should visit 10th and 3rd and see The Guru! Basical...

Where do zombies go to party?

The rave yard.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A middle aged couple goes to see a couples counselor...

The therapist says that she needs to give them a physical exam first, separately, and then they will have the therapy session together. The couple are confused, but she has an excellent reputation so they go along with it.

After the exams, they meet again in her office and she says to the wi...

If gym equipment was invisible...

Gyms would look like silent raves

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

We're doing married golfer jokes now?

One day a man and his wife are golfing. They have had a wonderful time and the man has had a near perfect game. The final hole, by far the most difficult, doglegs right around an old barn. With a terrible slice the man puts the barn between his ball and the green. Knowing that the strokes that it wi...

Did you hear about that nightclub for birds?

Was Rave'n

A guy goes to his local golf course...

The club pro asks him if he wants to try out one of their experimental new robot caddies...on the house.

"Sure, why not?" the man says.

He returns after playing 18 holes and raves to the club pro about the caddy. The robot gave him swing tips throughout the round and always chose the ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An old mechanic friend helps a drunk. (Kinda long, sorry.)

I was talking to this grizzled old mechanic friend one time, he looked like an old version of Yosemite Sam. Had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, sounded like an old cowboy, his big ol' handlebar mustache wiggling and twitching with every word. Suddenly he starts telling this story about how he ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Robot Caddies

So a guy decides to take the day off from work for a round of golf, and when he gets to the course he asks for a caddy. The pro shop manager asks if he'd like to try out one of their new robot caddies. "Sure, why not," the man replies. As he goes through the course the robot caddy is giving him the ...