Rave Jokes - 32 Hilarious Rave Jokes

I stopped paying attention to movie reviews after critics raved about The Green Mile.

Great concept, but terrible execution.

Why do people take acid at raves?

Because there's so much base.

What do you call a chicken at a rave?

A party fowl!

A church in my neighborhood has started having raves every night...

They're Crystal Methodists.

What do bears get at raves?

Mauly.

Easiest way to start a rave?

You throw a flash grenade in an epilectic ward.

Once this damned war is over, me and some of the lads are gonna throw a massive rave party for Russians and Ukranians, Chechens - everyone is welcome! We're hiring some of the biggest DJ's from the U.S, U.K, Poland, Germany....

And

a

Czech

one,

too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Madness at the Snowman's rave last night..

All the Carrots were off their faces

I feel bad for Sacha Baron Cohen. People rave about his performances in Borat and Da Ali G Show…

… but We Don’t Talk About Bruno.

If I ever have a rave it'll be called the Beacons of Gondor

It's gonna be lit

What do robots do at the rave?

They torque.

I took an epileptic girl to a rave

I jokingly told her, "I hear this place has rave reviews", but she just rolled her eyes at me.

What do you call a a bunch of epileptic vegans at a rave?

Seizure Salad

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My buddy got me the clapper for my birthday....

Now every time my wife and i have its like a rave

My brothers always out clubbing, my parents are really worried about his health.

He's always had one foot in the rave.

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Kid : mom, how come you are white and I'm black ?

Mom : if I can vaguely remember the things I did in that rave party, just be thankful that you are not barking!!!

Where do zombies go to party?

The rave yard.

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There was a married couple who were in a terrible accident...

There was a married couple who were in a terrible accident. The wife's face was burned severely. The doctor suggested for a skin graft, but unfortunately, the doctor had to inform her that they couldn't use any skin from her body because she was so thin. The husband then offered to donate some of hi...

Five Things

Here are the five best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk at work: 5) "They told me at the blood bank this might happen." 4) "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to." 3) "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You pr...

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A new bloke starts works on a building site...

He meets his new workmates and they head up to the roof to start work.
One of the workers picks up a pile of bricks and steps off the edge of the building falling 10 stories and landing safely at the bottom.
He takes the elevator back to the top and keeps working.
No one seems to even bat a...

Did you hear about the terrorist suicide bombers rave party?

I heard they had a blast.

A rave is being thrown at the White House tonight inauguration of the new President

ft. DJ Trump

A man boarded a plane in New Orleans with a box of crabs...

A female crew member took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator, which she did.

The man firmly advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for the crabs staying frozen, and proceeded to rant and rave about what would happen if she let the crabs thaw out. ...

Did I ever tell you about my old girlfriend who had Epilepsy?

I went to a rave. I thought it was so cool that I filmed it. But when I showed it to her, she just rolled her eyes.

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Dill Bread Recipe

This old recipe was handed down to us from Aunt Gladys. The secret is her great dill dough. All the ladies in the Church Choir always rave about Aunt Gladys great dill dough.

Ingredients
1 package (1/4 ounce) active dry yeast ...

If gym equipment was invisible...

Gyms would look like silent raves

Berlin's Hottest Nightclub

A hot new nightclub, Integers, opened up in Berlin. The club's
advertising referenced the "infinite" amount of space on the inside, and its excellent location downtown. The walls were sleek and black, with purple house lights and an immaculate sound system. Drinks were all priced at whole dollar...

A guy walks into a petshop

The pet shop owner suggested an unusual pet, a talking millipede. OK, thought the man, I'll give
it a go, so he bought one and took it home.
That night he decided to test out his new pet, so he opened the box and said, "I'm going to the pub for a drink, do you want to come too?"
But there w...

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[Long] Lori was assistant manager at the Shoppe, and had been for a long time wondering, when do I get my shot at being Manager?

One day, her boss, the owner, said, “Lori, I have to go on a business trip for the weekend. You’re in charge. Let’s see how you handle it. You know the business well enough. Just remember, the new line goes on sale Saturday. That’s $25 for the white dildos, and $50 for the black dildos.”
...

Jesus and Satan

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who managed to get the most out of his computer. This had been going on for days and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."...

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During WWII, An Old Man Worked At a Concentration Camp in Poland...

Due to the Nazi's bombing the factory he used to work in. His job was to move straw back and forth, he would take new straw bales shipped in every morning, put the hay in wheelbarrows where prisoners would then bring the wheelbarrows to where it was needed.

Every night, he had to bring the o...

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An old mechanic friend helps a drunk. (Kinda long, sorry.)

I was talking to this grizzled old mechanic friend one time, he looked like an old version of Yosemite Sam. Had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, sounded like an old cowboy, his big ol' handlebar mustache wiggling and twitching with every word. Suddenly he starts telling this story about how he ...

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