I've been spending the vast majority of my time completely alone over the last 4 months...

I don't think I'm going crazy, but my imaginary friend tells me I may have a drinking problem.

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First day of Med School

It is the first day of medical school, and the doctor in charge of the new class has all the new students gather in the main lecture hall for the orientation. Taking his place in front of the group, he starts his speech.

"In order to succeed in the world of medicine, you must first master two...

A majority of English speakers do not know the opposites of these words

Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.

A 2018 report showed that the vast majority of bankers have no close friends

Apparently they're all loaners

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The Home Minister, the Minister of Defence and the Minister of Fisheries are on a state visit to the Vatican.

As a courtesy, the Pope dines with them that night. The food is good, and the conversation still better. As the evening wears on, the Home Minister notices that her cup has run dry, and uses the opportunity to show off her inexhaustible wit. "Pope the divine," she says, turning to the solemn head of...

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Simple Economics

SOCIALISMYou have 2 cows.You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and shoots you

BUREAUCRATISMYou hav...

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Kids of all ages enjoy a good scotch

It's just for a majority of them, the word butter has to be prefixed

"Scary Snack" - A joke told like a horror story

After just arriving to his new home, little 7 year old Johnny was so excited. He just couldn't wait to run inside, find his new room and start unpacking all of his toys.

The afternoon passes, dinner is eaten, and the majority of essentials are where they are needing to be. His parents help hi...

You know the majority of folks down south hate left leaning politicians and it finally hit me as to why.....

They watch nascar drivers lean left 500 times every Sunday and just cant take anymore left in their life.

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According to Sigmund Freud, sexual imagery pops up in the vast majority of art,

But this theory has been proven to be a phallusy.

Where dose the majority of the mafia operate

In the spaghetto

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Just ask for Sally

So there is this guy, let's call him Joe.

Joe wakes up one day and realizes not only is it pay day, but he has the day off. So Joe goes through his regular morning ritual and then pays some bills, gets groceries and thinks to himself "well I have everything I need so let's have some fun."...

TIL that the majority of car companies make cell phones,

Except for Dodge, they just make Chargers.

The majority of German people wants to rebuild the Berlin Wall.

A recent survey with unemployed brick layers figured that out.

New poll shows that the majority Bernie Sander's supporters like whole milk

But they hate 1%

Putin recently won the Russian election with a 76.6% majority...

Oddly enough 23.4% of Russian citizens were found poisoned a few days afterwards

Demographers estimate that the Jagger Tipping Point, the moment when a majority of the UK population are direct descendants of Mick Jagger, will likely occur around the year 2300.

I wonder how weird that will feel to Keith Richards.

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As it turns out, a large majority of the participants in the Running of the Bulls are Catholic priests.

They all took a vow to stay chaste.

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