What’s the most progressive thing about Joe Biden?

His dementia

The progressive mobster

He kills women and children also.

Why was the ghost progressive?

Because he had transparents.

Ancient Egypt must have been super progressive

I mean, all their daddies ended up turning into mummies.

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In the future Mexico became the wealthies, most transparent, most peaceful, most progressive, most developed and most prosperous nation in the Americas while the US became a 3th world shithole.

As such many Mexicans decided to move back to Mexico but among them there were also Americans trying to emmigrate. As such the border checks were supposed to make sure that those going in Mexico were Mexicans and not American immigrants.


A man aproaches the border and is asked: "What's yo...

What would you call a progressive rock band that plays psychedelic Spanish guitar on your front lawn?

Pink Flamenco

A man goes to join a monastery

When introduced to the abbott, he finds out it is a progressive monastery, where, while they generally keep the vow of silence, they are allowed to say two words every five years. The guy agrees to it and becomes a monk.

After 5 years the abbott asks him what he has to say. He says: "bad food...

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "John." "John who?" John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"John."

"John who?"

John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively

What do you call a progressive Ewok?

An Ewoke

Sorry, and double sorry if someone else has already thought of this. Thought if it today on my own, but figure it’s been done...

Alabama is so progressive that

the women don't even change their last names when they get married

It's strange to see all these NASCAR fans upset with NASCAR for taking a progressive stance.

Normally they seem to like seeing things turning to the left.

Chess is a very progressive game...

Because if the soldier gets to the enemy's territory, his reward is getting to marry the king.

Why aren't progressives worried about things getting worse?

Because they are getting progressively worse.

What do you call a progressive who is afraid of germs?

A Social Distance Warrior

Jacinda Ardern is so progressive..

..that her country are already living in the next decade!

If you think about it, Futurama was an extremely progressive show.

Truly ahead of its time.

Of Mayhem from Allstate Insurance and Flow from Progressive Insurance had a baby...

They would name it Aggressive Prostate Insurance.

A Blonde woman was speeding down the road and was pulled over by a female police officer, who was also a blonde.

The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

‘What does it look like?’ she finally asked. The policewoman replied, ‘It’s square and it has you picture on it.’

The driver finally found a square mirror in ...

Past, Present, and Future walked into a bar, and it was simply tense.

As they were drinking it was clear it was becoming progressively tenser.

By the time they'd walked out it had become perfectly tense.

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The leaders of the free world gather to discuss the problems of a struggling nation

The French start: "The Age of Enlightenment started here. We'll help spread progressive ideas."

The Germans follow: "We have a very stable economy, we'll help lower national debt."

The Japanese join in: "Our scientist are the best in the world. We pledge to help battle the spreading di...

What do you call a progressive coffee shop?

Stay Woke

Progressive rock bands probably hate today.

Because it's 4/4.

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first mathematician orders a beer.


The second orders half a beer.


"I don't serve half-beers," the bartender replies.


"Excuse me?" asks mathematician #2.


The bartender remarks, "What kind of bar serves half-beers? That's ridiculous."


"Oh c'mo...

What's the opposite of a progressive?

A French tank.

We live in a progressive society.

Everyone is getting progressively stupider.

a women goes to seek out advice about her husband's hearing, as the situation seems to be getting progressively worse she's increasingly worried about him

"He'll be fine don't worry mam, he's in good hands"

assured the senator.

I appauld Amazon for being progressive on the whole "Who can use which restroom issue".

They don't care who pees in what bottle.

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A man has been getting progressively fatter and decides he needs to change.

He sees an advertisement that claims it'll help you lose 6 lbs in 3 days. With nothing to lose except 6 lbs he calls up the company and says hell give it a try. When he wakes up the next morning he hears a knock on the door and opens it to discover a topless brunette standing there. Smiling cheekish...

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Today i realised that Kung Fu Panda was actually a very progressive movie

Not only is the protagonist such a minority that he is literally an endangered species, he is also portrayed by a Black man

What kind of tea is hard for democrats and progressives to swallow today?

Reality.

In a progressive move, Mattel is making a new boyfriend for Barbie who's a homeless man from New Jersey

Hobo Ken.

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A group of psychiatrists go to tour an insane assylum that is renowned for their progressive rehabilitation methods.

A group of psychiatrists go to tour an insane assylum that is renowned for their progressive rehabilitation methods. They begin by visiting some of the patients. The first patient they visit is a young woman. She is practicing ballet. One of the psychiatrist asks "What are you doing?" She replies "...

You know homeless people are the real progressives of this country.

Always asking for change.

Progressives are enraged, conservatives are cautiously optimistic, but no group is more excited than the Imagineers of Disney.

For the first time in the history of the Hall of Presidents, they have a shot at making an audioanimatronic more realistic than the original.

Why don't progressives go to the dentist?

Because dentists like everything straight and white.

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What do you call a basement full of progressives?

A whine cellar.

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