My dog won't play fetch with my frying-pan.



It must be non-stick.

Why is Peter Pan always flying

He Neverlands

I asked my friend, "What's the same about my jokes and Peter Pan"?

And just before I could say, "They never get old," he replied, "They Neverland?"

^(This actually happened. My career as a comedian is over.)

How do you stop bacon from curling in the pan?

Take away the little brooms.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I call my dick Peter Pan

Because it never grows

Why won't airlines hire Peter Pan?

Because he'll never never land.

Having children is a lot like making pancakes

The first one is always a bit weird, but you can always just eat it when no one is looking.

What did the gold prospector say when he saw bits of silver in his pan?

weird flecks, but okay.

I asked 25 Pac-people what their favorite pan is and the results were overwhelming...

1) A wok

2) A wok

3) A wok

4) A wok

5) A wok

6) A wok

7) A wok

8) A wok

9) A wok

10) A wok

11) A wok

12) A wok

13) A wok

14) A wok

15) A wok

16) A wok

17) A wok

18) A wok

19)...

Why is Europe like a Frying Pan?

Because it has Greece on the bottom...

What do you call Luke Skywalker's futuristic frying pan?

An e-wok

What's the difference between a hand and a frying pan?

In the frying pan, the meat shrinks. In the hand, the meat grows.

Why do Anti-Vaxxers like Peter Pan?

Because he wants kids to never grow up and not be looked down on for doing it.

A Chinese pan, an establishment for accommodation and drinks, a number, and Abraham Rockefeller...

Wok inn two Abe R.

A guy is sitting reading the newspaper when his wife hits him on the back of the head with a frying pan.

"What the hell was that for?!", he screams.
"I was emptying your trouser pockets and found a piece of paper with a woman's name and a phone number!"
Thinking quickly, the guy says, "Honey, calm down, that's just the name of a horse i was betting on! The number is for the betting place!"....

We should start calling unvaccinated kids Peter Pans...

They never get old.

What’s Peter Pan’s favorite place to eat?

Wendy’s

In 1985, new wave band, A-Ha, wrote a song for a new Broadway version of Peter Pan that was never used. In the musical, Tinkerbell was supposed to sing to Peter, urging him to try and fight Captain Hook’s right hand man with the intent of demoralizing Hook and his pirate crew...

Taaaaake oooooon Smeeeee

Peter Pan and Captain Hook agree to a truce. (LONG)

After years upon years of fighting, kidnapping/fairynapping, and pilfering, the two rivals decide to agree to a truce, as both are realizing that their hearts are no longer in the fight. They agree that Pan and the Lost Boys will stay mostly on the mainland, and Hook and the Pirates will stay out to...

A man comes home after a long day, his wife then hits him in the back of the head with a frying pan

He clutches his head in pain asking her, “Honey why? Why did you do that?” She answers, “When I was doing your laundry I found a receipt in your pocket with a woman’s name on it.” He responds, “That’s why you hit me? Honey Mary-Ann is a horse I bet on, that’s the receipt for my bet.” She accepts th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Know what they call those specialty cake pans in the shape of penises?

Peter Pans

Why can’t Peter Pan ever stop flying?

He come from neverland

In 1969, the Beatles originally wrote one of their hit songs for a Broadway version of Peter Pan. Captain Hook’s right hand man wanted to Broker a truce that would give Hook the ability to fly and give Peter and the Lost Boys safety from pirates. It ended with a big event where Hook and Peter flew..

Come together, right now... over Smee.

I read a joke about an alternate ending to Peter Pan where Captain Hook wins the duel and sends Peter Pan back to London in a body bag.

Not very funny and quite dark, but it requires a dead Pan delivery

A caterer was sprinting down the hallway with a pan of scrambled eggs. My first instinct repsonse:

"I hope they like their eggs runny"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the world's largest pan?

Japan.

What is another name for the tick-tock croc from Peter Pan?

A Clock-odile.

Eggs

​Two eggs boiling in a pan.
One says,"I've got a huge crack."
The other replies,"Stop teasing me, I'm not hard yet."​

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