Why is Peter Pan always flying?

He neverlands

Finally learned why you can't use a wooden spoon on a Teflon pan

It's non-stick

How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in the pan?

Take away the tiny broom.

Two sausages in a frying pan

One says, wow it’s hot in here! The other looks over and says, oh my god! A talking sausage!

My dog won't play fetch with my frying-pan.



It must be non-stick.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I call my dick Peter Pan

Because it never grows

I asked 25 Pac-people what their favorite pan is and the results were overwhelming...

1) A wok

2) A wok

3) A wok

4) A wok

5) A wok

6) A wok

7) A wok

8) A wok

9) A wok

10) A wok

11) A wok

12) A wok

13) A wok

14) A wok

15) A wok

16) A wok

17) A wok

18) A wok

19)...

After purchasing an oval Chinese frying pan at the diminutive British aristocrat’s yard sale

Nigel realized that he’d just taken a long wok off a short Peer.

What do you call it when a wizard hits you with a frying pan

Cast iron

I asked my friend if he knew the difference between a chamber pot and a pan

He said 'no'

Needless to say, I stopped eating at his place

I asked my friend, "What's the same about my jokes and Peter Pan"?

And just before I could say, "They never get old," he replied, "They Neverland?"

^(This actually happened. My career as a comedian is over.)

An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor when they begin forgetting little things.

Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes. When they get home, the wife says, "Dear, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And maybe write that down so you won't forget?" "Nonsense," says the husband, "I can remember a dish o...

Why won't airlines hire Peter Pan?

Because he'll never never land.

Rubbing it just ain't the same

A man goes to church and tells the priest "Father, I almost cheated on my wife." The priest asks him "How do you almost cheat on your wife?" The man says "Well, me and the woman were naked but we just rubbed against each other." The priest looks at him disgusted and says "Rubbing is the same as putt...

What did the gold prospector say when he saw bits of silver in his pan?

weird flecks, but okay.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is a pansexual's guilty pleasure activity?

Washing the dishes.

Why is Europe like a Frying Pan?

Because it has Greece on the bottom...

What does Good King Wenceslas ask for when he orders pizza?

"Deep pan, crisp and even."

I just quit my job to focus on prospecting for gold

I'm just waiting to see how things pan out

What's the difference between a hand and a frying pan?

In the frying pan, the meat shrinks. In the hand, the meat grows.

What do you call Luke Skywalker's futuristic frying pan?

An e-wok

Why do Anti-Vaxxers like Peter Pan?

Because he wants kids to never grow up and not be looked down on for doing it.

We should start calling unvaccinated kids Peter Pans...

They never get old.

A Chinese pan, an establishment for accommodation and drinks, a number, and Abraham Rockefeller...

Wok inn two Abe R.

What’s Peter Pan’s favorite place to eat?

Wendy’s

A guy is sitting reading the newspaper when his wife hits him on the back of the head with a frying pan.

"What the hell was that for?!", he screams.
"I was emptying your trouser pockets and found a piece of paper with a woman's name and a phone number!"
Thinking quickly, the guy says, "Honey, calm down, that's just the name of a horse i was betting on! The number is for the betting place!"....

A man comes home after a long day, his wife then hits him in the back of the head with a frying pan

He clutches his head in pain asking her, “Honey why? Why did you do that?” She answers, “When I was doing your laundry I found a receipt in your pocket with a woman’s name on it.” He responds, “That’s why you hit me? Honey Mary-Ann is a horse I bet on, that’s the receipt for my bet.” She accepts th...

In 1985, new wave band, A-Ha, wrote a song for a new Broadway version of Peter Pan that was never used. In the musical, Tinkerbell was supposed to sing to Peter, urging him to try and fight Captain Hook’s right hand man with the intent of demoralizing Hook and his pirate crew...

Taaaaake oooooon Smeeeee

Peter Pan and Captain Hook agree to a truce. (LONG)

After years upon years of fighting, kidnapping/fairynapping, and pilfering, the two rivals decide to agree to a truce, as both are realizing that their hearts are no longer in the fight. They agree that Pan and the Lost Boys will stay mostly on the mainland, and Hook and the Pirates will stay out to...

Why are chefs good lovers?

Because they understand the pan needs to be hot before putting their meat in

How does a panda make his pancakes in the morning?

With a pan...duh

I read a joke about an alternate ending to Peter Pan where Captain Hook wins the duel and sends Peter Pan back to London in a body bag.

Not very funny and quite dark, but it requires a dead Pan delivery

Having children is a lot like making pancakes

The first one is always a bit weird, but you can always just eat it when no one is looking.

Why can’t Peter Pan ever stop flying?

He come from neverland

In 1969, the Beatles originally wrote one of their hit songs for a Broadway version of Peter Pan. Captain Hook’s right hand man wanted to Broker a truce that would give Hook the ability to fly and give Peter and the Lost Boys safety from pirates. It ended with a big event where Hook and Peter flew..

Come together, right now... over Smee.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Bob Marley always eat Japanese food?

Because he cook in Jah pan

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the world's largest pan?

Japan.

A caterer was sprinting down the hallway with a pan of scrambled eggs. My first instinct repsonse:

"I hope they like their eggs runny"

I feel sad that Captain Hook never made it to Admiral

I guess it didn’t Pan out for him.

What is another name for the tick-tock croc from Peter Pan?

A Clock-odile.

How excited was Wendy to go to Neverland?

She was so excited she nearly Peter Pans

How to make holy water in two easy steps

1) Take a pan of water and set it on the stove

2) Boil the hell out of it

Two Chinese brothers

come to New York in the seventies and open a disco. Sam Poo and Sam Pan, they do really well and the disco is a big hit.

After 10 years Sam Poo dies and goes to heaven, he has been in heaven a while when St Peter see's Sam Poo and asks whats wrong you look sad?

I am missing my brother...

A baseball manager calls up a Chinese rookie from the minor leagues

The player shows up before his first game and goes to take batting practice. The manager sees him walking to the batter's box with a frying pan sitting on his head. He says "You can't wear a frying pan in the batter's box, son. You need a helmet."

The player responds: "This is my lucky frying...

I asked Peter Pan how Captain Hook would vent his frustration.

"Beat Smee," he replied.

"Oh, sorry." I said. "I thought you'd know."

I managed to escape Neverland Ranch by taking refuge in a nearby Catholic church.

Oh well...out of the flying Pan, into the friar.

What's Peter pans favourite fast food restaurant?

Wendy's

I tried cooking Chinese spare ribs in the oven instead of the pan.

I'll tell you it was a walk in the park compared to the pork in the wok.

I took a road trip to Alaska.

I took a trip to Alaska and stopped at a resort that lets you rent out gold pans that let you sort out gold in their river. They let you keep what you find.

Excited, I go out to find some plunder. I sat there searching for hours, and I couldn’t find a single speck.

When I walked into ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Put to sleep

So this inquisitive pan-dimensional space monster is out on vacation and decides to check out this little dive bar on Earth (in Detroit) that had some decent reviews on Yelp.

In order to do so he had to first take on a suitable corporal form adhering to local biological esthetics and so he c...

A guy is sitting quietly reading his Sunday newspaper one day when his wife suddenly hits him over the head with a frying pan.

"What was that for?" he shouts.

His wife says, "I was just doing the laundry and I found a piece of paper in your trouser pocket with the name "Marylou on it. Who the hell is she?"

The guy says, "Oh, don't worry about that dear. Do you remember when I went to the horse racing with my f...

I just poured superglue into a non-stick pan...

...someone is going to be wrong.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what do you call a pansexual person named nick who works at a disc company?

Pan nick at the disc co

A 2 year old kid gets into a stack of board games.

And before his parents notice, he has them all open and pieces everywhere. The folks clean up the mess but soon realize that there are pieces missing from the Battleship game.
They rush the kid to the hospital, and sure enough, x-rays show he has swallowed some pieces. The doctor finds an aircr...

Where does Peter Pan eat out?

He eats out at Wendy's

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old Russian man is at his dying wife's bedside.

The doctor on visit to their apartment looks her over and says, "I'm terribly sorry, but the only way to save your wife is to have anal sex with her."

"I can't do it," says the man, "I'm a loyal Communist and have dutifully served my country. I fought the entire war and earned many medals, in...

What's Peter Pan's brother's name?

Peter Pot.
He gets so high he never lands.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Differences - NSFW

What is the difference between a frying pan and a vagina?

A frying pan doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.

What's Peter Pan's least favorite part of a song?

The hook

Kevin Spacey as Peter Pan

Kevin Spacey has been offered the role of Peter Pan for his next film but some changes were required.

Now, to get to Neverland, he tells the 2nd star to his right to bend over til morning.

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

because he neverlands!

jkjk it's cuz of the pixie dust. tinker Bell is his slave, #freetink

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.