The 58+ Best Pan Jokes - ↑UPJOKE↑

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

He neverlands

You really should upvote this joke because it never gets old

What did the egg say to the frying pan?

I’m sorry I can’t get hard... I just got laid.

Finally learned why you can't use a wooden spoon on a Teflon pan

It's non-stick

How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in the pan?

You take away its broom.

What's Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out?

Wendy's

What is a spell that you can learn with a frying pan?

Cast Iron.

The modern steak was invented when a piece of meat accidentally fell from a shelf, hit another two shelves, and fell right into a sizzling pan

Ba dum tss

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An egg and a sausage are in a frying pan...

"Boy, it sure is hot in here..."

"Fuck me! A talking sausage!"

I needed to buy a new pan to stir fry a large meal

I decided to go for a wok.

What is it called when someone steals a large frying pan from a smaller classmate?

Taking a long wok off a short peer.

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I was in the kitchen banging pots and pans.

My mom walked in and said “When you came out as pansexual this isn’t what I thought you meant…”

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Why can't Peter Pan be grounded?

You: Because he Neverlands.

Me: No. It's because he's a fucking orphan.

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pan-handler in front of a casino

A bum was in front of a casino, hand out, asking for spare change to get a bite to eat. A passerby felt pity for him and gave him $5.00.

"Get yourself a good meal," he told the bum. "But I don't want to see you going into the casino and gambling that money away!"

At that, the bum shook...

The broom and dust pan will be kept in the hall closet from now on...

...and I'm considering other sweeping changes around here.

Why is Europe like a frying pan??

They both have Greece at the bottom!!

There's a man named Johnson who owns a nail company, Johnson Nails.

Business had been slow lately, so Johnson figures he might want to try putting out a youtube video to drum up some business.

He goes to an advertising agency and meets a man named Jim who assures him he can make the perfect ad for Johnson's company. He tells Johnson to come back the nex...

6 yr old son made this up. What do exploding pandas eat?

BAMBOOM!

There were 2 sausages in a frying pan.

One sausage says to the other damn it's hot in here! The other sausage says WTF a talking sausage.

What did the gold prospector say when he saw bits of silver in his pan?

weird flecks, but okay.

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“Susie asks, “Mommy, why do you always cut the ends off the sausages before you put them in the skillet?”

“Oh, that’s just the way my mother always did it. You’ll have to ask her.”
“Granny”, asks Susie the next time her grandmother visits. “Why do you and mommy always cut the ends off the sausages before you put them in the skillet?” “Oh, that’s just the way my mother always did it. “You’ll have to...

A wife is frying eggs for her husband in the morning

Suddenly the husband appears behind the wife's back and says:

"Careful, CAREFUL, put more fat in the pan! You're frying too many at a time. TOO MANY! Flip them! FLIP THEM! Come on!
Put more fat in there. Oh dear lord. How are you gonna make space for the fat now, look, they're sticking to ...

I read a joke about an alternate ending to Peter Pan where Captain Hook wins the duel and sends Peter Pan back to London in a body bag.

Not very funny and quite dark, but it requires a dead Pan delivery

My roommate scratched my non stick frying pan so I had to get rid of it.

Anyone looking for an apartment?

I’m a recovering kleptomaniac looking to open up my restaurant later this year. Got a job yesterday and used my earnings to pay for a Chinese cooking pan.

It ain’t much, but it’s honest wok.

[Possibly OC] How excited was Wendy to go to Neverland?

She was so excited that she nearly Peter Pans.

I was playing Cyberpunk 2077 when my mom took a pan and violently bashed my laptop to pieces.

She *really* freaks out seeing so many bugs.

My vegetarian wife wanted the egg smell gone from the pan in which I cooked scrambled egg

So i cooked beef in it.

A good metaphor for today's youth is the book Peter Pan...

Kids sneak out. Get high on dust together. Beat up handicapped man, and steal his boat.

A Chinese pan, an establishment for accommodation and drinks, a number, and Abraham Rockefeller...

Wok inn two Abe R.

My girlfriend said she’s not a fan of Pan-Asian cooking

I thought it was called a Wok

I asked 25 Pac-people what their favorite pan is and the results were overwhelming...

1) A wok

2) A wok

3) A wok

4) A wok

5) A wok

6) A wok

7) A wok

8) A wok

9) A wok

10) A wok

11) A wok

12) A wok

13) A wok

14) A wok

15) A wok

16) A wok

17) A wok

18) A wok

19)...

A man comes home after a long day, his wife then hits him in the back of the head with a frying pan

He clutches his head in pain asking her, “Honey why? Why did you do that?” She answers, “When I was doing your laundry I found a receipt in your pocket with a woman’s name on it.” He responds, “That’s why you hit me? Honey Mary-Ann is a horse I bet on, that’s the receipt for my bet.” She accepts th...

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Todays News: Russia takes a step towards inclusivity by establishing new task force comprised of Gay/Bi/Pan/Trans/etc enlistees...

Introducing: The KGBT

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The difference between before/after getting hired

When Timmy went in for an interview at ABC company, he was hired after a very brief interview. A little skeptical at first, Timmy asked the company representative a few questions.

It went like this:

ABC: Trust me, this company could really use someone new

Timmy: If there is too ...

What's Peter pans favourite fast food restaurant?

Wendy's

Would you remarry?

Out of the blue, a woman asked her husband, "if I die, will you remarry?"

"You're not gonna die."

"But what if I do? Everybody dies eventually. Answer the question."

"Well, in theory, I suppose I could get married again, yes."

The woman gasps in disbelief. "Well! Who woul...

What's the difference between a hand and a frying pan?

In the frying pan, the meat shrinks. In the hand, the meat grows.

Do you know the difference between a toilet and a pan?

If you clicked to see the answer don’t ever ask me to eat at your place.

What do anti vaxxers kids have in common with Peter Pan?

They never grow old.

It's 80 years since non stick pans were invented (Teflon 1938)

Where is the non stick toilet bowl?

Why didn’t Peter Pan’s career in stand-up take off?

Because his jokes Neverland.

Is that a frying pan in the pantry?

No. It’s a wok in closet.

I asked my friend if he knew the difference between a chamber pot and a pan

He said 'no'

Needless to say, I stopped eating at his place

After purchasing an oval Chinese frying pan at the diminutive British aristocrat’s yard sale

Nigel realized that he’d just taken a long wok off a short Peer.

A guy is sitting reading the newspaper when his wife hits him on the back of the head with a frying pan.

"What the hell was that for?!", he screams.
"I was emptying your trouser pockets and found a piece of paper with a woman's name and a phone number!"
Thinking quickly, the guy says, "Honey, calm down, that's just the name of a horse i was betting on! The number is for the betting place!"....

I just poured superglue into a non-stick pan...

...someone is going to be wrong.

Peter Pan and Captain Hook agree to a truce. (LONG)

After years upon years of fighting, kidnapping/fairynapping, and pilfering, the two rivals decide to agree to a truce, as both are realizing that their hearts are no longer in the fight. They agree that Pan and the Lost Boys will stay mostly on the mainland, and Hook and the Pirates will stay out to...

Having a non stick pan

with a sticker stuck on it saying non stick pan is one of the reasons I don’t think humans deserve control over earth

Peter Pan would make a great comedian

His jokes would never get old

In 1985, new wave band, A-Ha, wrote a song for a new Broadway version of Peter Pan that was never used. In the musical, Tinkerbell was supposed to sing to Peter, urging him to try and fight Captain Hook’s right hand man with the intent of demoralizing Hook and his pirate crew...

Taaaaake oooooon Smeeeee

What is Bill Cosby’s favorite Peter Pan themed cereal?

Roofie-Os

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A joke to tell your friends in-person

So, like the title says, this joke only works if you're telling it to your friend in real life! Make sure it's someone you're somewhat close with, though.

So a guy walks into a three-story building. That's very important to the story, so you gotta remember it. How many stories does it have?...

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What do you call a pan-sexual man named Nick who works at a CD store?

Pan Nick at the Disc Co.

A caterer was sprinting down the hallway with a pan of scrambled eggs. My first instinct repsonse:

"I hope they like their eggs runny"

In 1969, the Beatles originally wrote one of their hit songs for a Broadway version of Peter Pan. Captain Hook’s right hand man wanted to Broker a truce that would give Hook the ability to fly and give Peter and the Lost Boys safety from pirates. It ended with a big event where Hook and Peter flew..

Come together, right now... over Smee.

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A woman went into a pet shop

to buy her husband a pet. After looking around she realized that all the pets there were very expensive. She went to the counter and questioned the clerk.

"I wanted to buy my husband a pet, but all of yours are so expensive," she said.

"Well,"said the clerk, 'I have a huge bullfrog i...

We should start calling unvaccinated kids Peter Pans...

They never get old.

A guy is sitting quietly reading his Sunday newspaper one day when his wife suddenly hits him over the head with a frying pan.

"What was that for?" he shouts.

His wife says, "I was just doing the laundry and I found a piece of paper in your trouser pocket with the name "Marylou on it. Who the hell is she?"

The guy says, "Oh, don't worry about that dear. Do you remember when I went to the horse racing with my f...

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