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Pan Jokes

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

He neverlands

You really should upvote this joke because it never gets old

What did the egg say to the frying pan?

I’m sorry I can’t get hard... I just got laid.

The modern steak was invented when a piece of meat accidentally fell from a shelf, hit another two shelves, and fell right into a sizzling pan

Ba dum tss

Finally learned why you can't use a wooden spoon on a Teflon pan

It's non-stick

How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in the pan?

You take away its broom.

What is a spell that you can learn with a frying pan?

Cast Iron.

I'm done making Peter Pan jokes

They Never land

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Given that Wendy has a crush on Peter Pan, I guess you can say....

She's Pansexual.

The broom and dust pan will be kept in the hall closet from now on...

...and I'm considering other sweeping changes around here.

I needed to buy a new pan to stir fry a large meal

I decided to go for a wok.

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An egg and a sausage are in a frying pan...

"Boy, it sure is hot in here..."

"Fuck me! A talking sausage!"

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pan-handler in front of a casino

A bum was in front of a casino, hand out, asking for spare change to get a bite to eat. A passerby felt pity for him and gave him $5.00.

"Get yourself a good meal," he told the bum. "But I don't want to see you going into the casino and gambling that money away!"

At that, the bum shook...

Where does Peter Pan like to eat out?

Wendy’s.

What is it called when someone steals a large frying pan from a smaller classmate?

Taking a long wok off a short peer.

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Why can't Peter Pan be grounded?

You: Because he Neverlands.

Me: No. It's because he's a fucking orphan.

Why is Europe like a frying pan??

They both have Greece at the bottom!!

What did the gold prospector say when he saw bits of silver in his pan?

weird flecks, but okay.

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“Susie asks, “Mommy, why do you always cut the ends off the sausages before you put them in the skillet?”

“Oh, that’s just the way my mother always did it. You’ll have to ask her.”
“Granny”, asks Susie the next time her grandmother visits. “Why do you and mommy always cut the ends off the sausages before you put them in the skillet?” “Oh, that’s just the way my mother always did it. “You’ll have to...

I read a joke about an alternate ending to Peter Pan where Captain Hook wins the duel and sends Peter Pan back to London in a body bag.

Not very funny and quite dark, but it requires a dead Pan delivery

My roommate scratched my non stick frying pan so I had to get rid of it.

Anyone looking for an apartment?

There were 2 sausages in a frying pan.

One sausage says to the other damn it's hot in here! The other sausage says WTF a talking sausage.

What’s Peter Pan’s favorite place to eat?

Wendy’s

I was playing Cyberpunk 2077 when my mom took a pan and violently bashed my laptop to pieces.

She *really* freaks out seeing so many bugs.

I asked 25 Pac-people what their favorite pan is and the results were overwhelming...

1) A wok

2) A wok

3) A wok

4) A wok

5) A wok

6) A wok

7) A wok

8) A wok

9) A wok

10) A wok

11) A wok

12) A wok

13) A wok

14) A wok

15) A wok

16) A wok

17) A wok

18) A wok

19)...

My vegetarian wife wanted the egg smell gone from the pan in which I cooked scrambled egg

So i cooked beef in it.

A wife is frying eggs for her husband in the morning

Suddenly the husband appears behind the wife's back and says:

"Careful, CAREFUL, put more fat in the pan! You're frying too many at a time. TOO MANY! Flip them! FLIP THEM! Come on!
Put more fat in there. Oh dear lord. How are you gonna make space for the fat now, look, they're sticking to ...

How do you call an enlightened pan?

A Wok

A good metaphor for today's youth is the book Peter Pan...

Kids sneak out. Get high on dust together. Beat up handicapped man, and steal his boat.

A Chinese pan, an establishment for accommodation and drinks, a number, and Abraham Rockefeller...

Wok inn two Abe R.

My girlfriend said she’s not a fan of Pan-Asian cooking

I thought it was called a Wok

What's the difference between a hand and a frying pan?

In the frying pan, the meat shrinks. In the hand, the meat grows.

A man comes home after a long day, his wife then hits him in the back of the head with a frying pan

He clutches his head in pain asking her, “Honey why? Why did you do that?” She answers, “When I was doing your laundry I found a receipt in your pocket with a woman’s name on it.” He responds, “That’s why you hit me? Honey Mary-Ann is a horse I bet on, that’s the receipt for my bet.” She accepts th...

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Todays News: Russia takes a step towards inclusivity by establishing new task force comprised of Gay/Bi/Pan/Trans/etc enlistees...

Introducing: The KGBT

Why didn’t Peter Pan’s career in stand-up take off?

Because his jokes Neverland.

Do you know the difference between a toilet and a pan?

If you clicked to see the answer don’t ever ask me to eat at your place.

What do anti vaxxers kids have in common with Peter Pan?

They never grow old.

Peter Pan would make a great comedian

His jokes would never get old

I asked my friend if he knew the difference between a chamber pot and a pan

He said 'no'

Needless to say, I stopped eating at his place

In 1985, new wave band, A-Ha, wrote a song for a new Broadway version of Peter Pan that was never used. In the musical, Tinkerbell was supposed to sing to Peter, urging him to try and fight Captain Hook’s right hand man with the intent of demoralizing Hook and his pirate crew...

Taaaaake oooooon Smeeeee

After purchasing an oval Chinese frying pan at the diminutive British aristocrat’s yard sale

Nigel realized that he’d just taken a long wok off a short Peer.

What is Bill Cosby’s favorite Peter Pan themed cereal?

Roofie-Os

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A joke to tell your friends in-person

So, like the title says, this joke only works if you're telling it to your friend in real life! Make sure it's someone you're somewhat close with, though.

So a guy walks into a three-story building. That's very important to the story, so you gotta remember it. How many stories does it have?...

A guy is sitting reading the newspaper when his wife hits him on the back of the head with a frying pan.

"What the hell was that for?!", he screams.
"I was emptying your trouser pockets and found a piece of paper with a woman's name and a phone number!"
Thinking quickly, the guy says, "Honey, calm down, that's just the name of a horse i was betting on! The number is for the betting place!"....

I just poured superglue into a non-stick pan...

...someone is going to be wrong.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a pan-sexual man named Nick who works at a CD store?

Pan Nick at the Disc Co.

Peter Pan and Captain Hook agree to a truce. (LONG)

After years upon years of fighting, kidnapping/fairynapping, and pilfering, the two rivals decide to agree to a truce, as both are realizing that their hearts are no longer in the fight. They agree that Pan and the Lost Boys will stay mostly on the mainland, and Hook and the Pirates will stay out to...

Having a non stick pan

with a sticker stuck on it saying non stick pan is one of the reasons I don’t think humans deserve control over earth

In 1969, the Beatles originally wrote one of their hit songs for a Broadway version of Peter Pan. Captain Hook’s right hand man wanted to Broker a truce that would give Hook the ability to fly and give Peter and the Lost Boys safety from pirates. It ended with a big event where Hook and Peter flew..

Come together, right now... over Smee.

A guy is sitting quietly reading his Sunday newspaper one day when his wife suddenly hits him over the head with a frying pan.

"What was that for?" he shouts.

His wife says, "I was just doing the laundry and I found a piece of paper in your trouser pocket with the name "Marylou on it. Who the hell is she?"

The guy says, "Oh, don't worry about that dear. Do you remember when I went to the horse racing with my f...

Why is Peter Pan on the No-Fly list?

Whenever he boards a plane it neverlands

I tried cooking Chinese spare ribs in the oven instead of the pan.

I'll tell you it was a walk in the park compared to the pork in the wok.

A man cuts a hunk of meat from his torso and cooks it in a pan.

As he bleeds out, he realises: "I've made a big me-steak"

What is another name for the tick-tock croc from Peter Pan?

A Clock-odile.

I asked Peter Pan how Captain Hook would vent his frustration.

"Beat Smee," he replied.

"Oh, sorry." I said. "I thought you'd know."

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What's the best pan to make sushi in?

Japan.

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