UPJOKE
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“Susie asks, “Mommy, why do you always cut the ends off the sausages before you put them in the skillet?”

“Oh, that’s just the way my mother always did it. You’ll have to ask her.”
“Granny”, asks Susie the next time her grandmother visits. “Why do you and mommy always cut the ends off the sausages before you put them in the skillet?” “Oh, that’s just the way my mother always did it. “You’ll have to...

What do you call a joke told by skillet

Dead pan humour

Why is the barbarian carrying a skillet?

Wizard: Why is the barbarian carrying a skillet?

Bard: He thinks it's his spellcasting focus.

Wizard: He has spells?

Bard: Just one. Every time he hits someone with it, he shouts "Cast iron!"

What's the difference between a skillet and a person who asks celebrities invasive questions?

One's a frying pan, the other is a prying fan

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Jack was from a poor family with many siblings [OC]

As the eldest child, he took up the responsibility of helping his parents financially by doing odd jobs, be it collecting recyclable scraps, cleaning, babysitting, dog walking or simple repair work. He had no choice but to drop out of high school at the age of 14 to work full time in order for his o...

A clown goes crazy and starts murdering everybody with a cast-iron skillet.

Don't get the joke? It's deadpan humor.

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Not so fast

One Friday morning, Bill was quietly sipping his coffee and reading the newspaper at the kitchen table when his wife came up from the basement and without warning, smacked him on the side of his head…

"What the Hell was that for?" Bill asked, covering his head with both hands, anticipating a ...

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My neighbor’s dog keeps going in my yard

I tell my neighbor politely a few times to keep his dog in his yard, but every evening I come out to a fresh pile.

I tell him to clean it up, but he never does, so I give him an ultimatum: “The next time your dog comes into my yard I am going to cook him.”

The next day, sure as anythin...

My wife has a peculiar cooking habit

So, my wife and I are newly weds, and she's a great cook, but I noticed she did something strange when preparing sausages. Just before she puts them in the skillet, she cuts off about an inch on both sides of the sausages.

After having witnessed this a couple of times, I asked her why she di...

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I was on a blind date with a woman the other day when she told me that she was "Pansexual"

...so I said "That's not a problem with me, but I am curious what your preference is though...



skillets or woks?"

Two sausages are sitting in a skillet...

One sausage says to the other, "It's getting a little hot in here..."

The other sausage turns to him and says, "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!"

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Man in hospital

A nurse goes into an older man's hospital room and asks the man, "What would you like for breakfast today?" The older man sits up and begins to describing what meal he would like to have brought out to him...

"I would like a glass of orange juice but instead of using a clean cup, I would like...

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An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio, Texas leading a tired old mule.

The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat.

He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.

As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in...

How does Liam Neeson make such good pancakes?

He has a very particular set of skillets.

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So there was a mother of three boys, who wanted to grow up to be pimps........

NSFW.

.....They were always getting into trouble at school, cursing and swearing, and generally terrible boys. So the mother decided to spend some quality time with them one morning, by making them breakfast.

She calls the boys downstairs for breakfast and they sit at the table. Moth...

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This guy Arty....

So there was this guy Arty. Arty always wanted to be in the mafia. This was his dream since he was young. Henry Hill was his role model. Arty had watched every mafia movie known to man, he was just waiting for the day to meet them and get in.

One day Arty sees 4 mafia members sitting around ...

The husband and the horse.

The husband seated, reading his newspaper when his wife, furious, came from the kitchen and hits him in the head with a skillet .
Startled, he gets up and asks:
- Why did you do that? She responds: - I found this is the piece of paper in your pants with Mary's name and number. - Honey, remembe...

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A farmer is having sex with his wife...

When he's done, he decides to make himself a burger, but doesn't bother getting dressed.

He grabs his jar of pickles, and one of the pickles thinks to itself, "Man, I've got it rough. I was a happy little cucumber once, but whenever I got big and juicy, this man plucked me off the plant and t...

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