UPJOKE
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What is Pac-Man’s favorite cooking utensil?

A wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok

I have a buddy who is incredible at using a wok while unconcious.

He's always been known for sleep woking.

Did you hear about the man who went out for some exercise and ended up robbing a Chinese restaurant?

Police say he told his wife he was just going to take a wok.

Quasimodo's mother returns from grocery shopping with, among the groceries, a large steel wok.

"Oh, mummy, this is wonderful," says Quasimodo. "I just love Chinese food!"

"It's not for cooking," says his mother, "it's for ironing your shirts."

What do you call a zombie that cooks stir-frys ?

Dead Man Wok-ing ...

I was walking my dog through the neighborhood when his leash broke, he ran off, and headed straight into a Chinese restaurant.

I ran inside and found him in the kitchen. To my horror, he was peeing on all the cookware! The cooks were yelling at him angrily, so I stepped in and said, "Please don't be mad at him. I'm the one who said he needed to go on a wok."

Why do Beginner Chefs cook only Asian food?

They need to Wok before they can run.

I needed to buy a new pan to stir fry a large meal

I decided to go for a wok.

I went to a Chinese restaurant that is open 24/7, 365 days of the year...

... the chef is a wokaholic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the best date to take a pansexual on?

Take them out for a wok.

Did you hear about the new Chinese cookbook?

101 Ways To Wok Your Dog

What do you call an Asian Dwayne Johnson?

The Wok.

What is it called when someone steals a large frying pan from a smaller classmate?

Taking a long wok off a short peer.

I should have been more suspicious

when the Chinese guy offered to “wok my dog for me”…

I want to open a restaurant that fuses Chinese and Middle Eastern cuisine

I call it "Wok like an Egyptian".

Why did the Liverpool fan always help his wife with the Chinese cooking?

So she'd never wok alone.

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I was on a blind date with a woman the other day when she told me that she was "Pansexual"

...so I said "That's not a problem with me, but I am curious what your preference is though...



skillets or woks?"

What type of music do they play at Chinese Restaurants ?

Wok n' Roll

I heard the ladies really like a good stir fry.

You can tell by the way I use my wok, I'm a woman's man.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How is extra virgin olive oil NSFW ?

Not Safe For Wok.

\[yay dumbest joke of the day\]

Did you ever hear about the mute Thai chef?

He could wok the wok but not talk the talk.

My favorite Chinese food place is closed for COVID19.

The sign said they would wok from home.

My sister bought my dad a wok....

he responded by saying, "but I already wok everywhere." I'm 31 years old and my dad is 66. I just want everyone to know that dad jokes never die and will always mean something to someone.

A regional manager of a Chinese restaurant chain was visiting one of the stores around the holidays.

He was there to check how the store was doing, making sure safety protocols were in place, making sure it was clean, etc. Upon entering the restaurant he was greeted with Christmas decor, lights, garland, Santa clauses everywhere, and holiday music.
“What’s with the get up?” The manager asked. <...

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What do you call a man cooking stir-fry in a Japanese technology company?

Sony wok man.

A Chinese pan, an establishment for accommodation and drinks, a number, and Abraham Rockefeller...

Wok inn two Abe R.

TIL - While visiting China, Johnny Cash almost went to prison for cooking cocaine.

His original version of "I Wok The Line" was a very different song.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Boss Of The Body (not mine)

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.

The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

The hands said, "We s...

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Her : So, I'm pansexual

Me : Wanna go for a wok?

My girlfriend said she’s not a fan of Pan-Asian cooking

I thought it was called a Wok

Panda Express fired me for emailing around photos of bad stir fry...

I guess I should have labelled them Not Safe for Wok...

What do Asian people sing to their children at night?

Wok a bye baby.

Did you hear about the duck and Chinese chef that teamed up to deal drugs?

They were slinging quack wok!

A baseball manager calls up a Chinese rookie from the minor leagues

The player shows up before his first game and goes to take batting practice. The manager sees him walking to the batter's box with a frying pan sitting on his head. He says "You can't wear a frying pan in the batter's box, son. You need a helmet."

The player responds: "This is my lucky frying...

What do you call it when you make asian food in the jungle?

Taking a Wok on the wild side.

I was getting trained as a cook in a chinese restaurant

Well, it was really more of a wok through

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Voodoo dildo

A man was going to go on a business trip and wanted to get his wife a new toy to try and reduce the chance that she would cheat on him while he was gone.

So he went to a local sex shop and told the clerk what he was looking for and why.

The clerk showed him a collection of dildos and...

After purchasing an oval Chinese frying pan at the diminutive British aristocrat’s yard sale

Nigel realized that he’d just taken a long wok off a short Peer.

Why can't paraplegics cook Chinese food?

Because they can't "wok."

Note: May be cheesy and offensive, but I coined this joke when humor could be silly and irreverent, and y'all were begging for non-reposts.

Rock music and Cooking

Did you know the rock band Aerosmith wrote a Chinese cookbook?


It's called Wok This Way

Now, most of us walk our dogs.

In China, they wok theirs.

I asked 25 Pac-people what their favorite pan is and the results were overwhelming...

1) A wok

2) A wok

3) A wok

4) A wok

5) A wok

6) A wok

7) A wok

8) A wok

9) A wok

10) A wok

11) A wok

12) A wok

13) A wok

14) A wok

15) A wok

16) A wok

17) A wok

18) A wok

19)...

What’s the difference between an American dog and a Chinese dog?

The way you wok them.

How does the Chinese chef go to work?

He woks.

Why is it hard to make chinese food?

Because it takes a lot of wok

I hear the Star Wars universe is so advanced, you can get Chinese food directly over the internet...

They use an e-wok.

Did you see Nicholas Sparks released a cookbook?

A Wok to Remember

Thanks to Uber Eats, ordering Chinese takeaway for a picnic is as easy as a

wok in the park.

A muslim opens a stir-fry restaurant in Hawaï.

He called it "Aloha-Wok-bar".

I tried cooking Chinese spare ribs in the oven instead of the pan.

I'll tell you it was a walk in the park compared to the pork in the wok.

Did you hear about the Catholic Sister who opened a Breaking Bad themed Asian restaurant?

She is the Nun who Woks.

Have I told you about the time I met Steven Tyler and he taught me how to cook stir fry?

He told me to "wok this way."

What did the fried rice say to the shrimp?

Don’t wok away from me!

Anyone know the title of Steven Tyler's new cook book?

Wok this way.

I've been doing this new program called 'Cooking with Nature: Chinese Edition'

You'd think it would be tough, but it's just a wok in the park.

What does a one night stand and cooking bad Chinese food have in common?

Both end in a wok of shame

What did the American Chef say to the Asian Chef?

Take a wok.

The Bangles are getting their own cooking show.

Wok Like an Egyptian

Taking a stroll in the park is like robbing an Asian kitchen.

Either way, you're taking a wok.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bob gets a job at a Japanese restaurant...

In the kitchen he notices all the pots, pans, plates, etc have names stamped on them. His boss says it's for easy identification.

One day the cook asks him to go get a wok. So Bob goes into the back and grabs the first thing he can find that resembles a wok with the name "Peter" in bold lette...

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I wanted to take a Chinese cooking class.

But looking into it, it seemed like too much wok.

So I was at a book store the other day and I saw a Vietnamese cookbook...

It was called "How to Wok Your Dog".

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