A man walks into a diner one day, walks up to the counter, and proceeds to order a bowl a chili.

The waitress says that the man sitting next to him just ordered the last bowl they had. That man was just sitting there, not eating the chili.

After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, “Are you going to eat that?”

The second man replies, “No, you can have it if...

There's this new guy on my bowling team. His name is Frank, and he's a really nice guy and an excellent bowler, but there's just one thing about him.

At the end of every game, Frank says, "Next game, I might be five minutes late." The rest of us guys find it really annoying. He almost always shows up right on time, but still, he always says, "Next game, I might be five minutes late."

One day we decided that we wanted to find out why he alw...

The missing sugar bowl

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate is. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if ther...

Never go bowling with a mathematician

They always find the X's

"Have you seen the dog bowl?"

"No. Is he any good?"

Wife: Have you seen the dog bowl?

Husband: No, but he's pretty good at skating.

Mum, can I lick the bowl?

No! Flush the toilet like everyone else.

What do you call a hen staring at a bowl of shredded lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad

My wife asked me if I wanted to go bowling or if we would stay home tomorrow.

I replied; “I don’t feel like shoving my fingers in some holes where a bunch of weirdos have been inside before me. So let’s go bowling”

My mom made me a bowl of soup yesterday

Still trying to figure out how to return to my human form.

What does the bowling ball who was taken hostage say?

Please spare me

Why is life like a bowl of soup?

Because the only way you will get blown is if you are hot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if hes been to this club before.

"Oh no," says Dave. "Hes on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if hed like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
<...

No one bird can eat a bowl of fruit loops...

But toucan!

(First post here, hope you like it.)

Where's the best place to watch the Raiders in the super bowl?

The History Channel.

Why can’t Mahomes call his momma after the Super Bowl?

No reception

What's the difference between a bowling ball and your mom?

Nothing. They are both picked up, fingered,and thrown in the gutter

Anyone wanna hang out later? Maybe go bowling?

I'm asking for a friend..

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A donkey fell into a bowl of sugar...

Now that’s a sweet ass.

A guy sits down at a bar alone having a drink, munching on the bar's bowl of pretzels.

All of a sudden he hears a little voice, "Looking good there, buddy."

Looking around he sees no one within earshot. So he just shrugs it off & goes back to his drink & snack.

A little while latter again he hears a little voice, "And you're a snappy dresser too."

Again lo...

What’s the difference between my ex and a bowl of spaghetti?

Spaghetti wiggles when I eat it.

I know the score of this Sunday's Super Bowl before it starts.

0 - 0

Do U want Super Bowl Tickets?? Read below.

IF YOU'RE INTERESTED... A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2021 Super Bowl, both box seats. He paid 11,500 each. It comes with ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner and 400.00 bar tab. Also a back stage pass to the winners locker room. He didn't realize last year when he bought them, i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why have they started putting pictures of politicians inside toilet bowls?

So the assholes can see who they voted for.

The Buccaneers Didn't Win the Super Bowl... Yet

In fact, it might take weeks until we know the final score, as soon as they finish counting all the mail-in points.

For some reason CBS wouldn't let me stream the super bowl. I had to switch to the ESPN spanish simulcast.

It worked out because BRADY-GRONKOWSKI-GOALLLLLLLLL!!!!! is the same in every language.

A guy walks into a bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink.

A couple of minutes later, he hears a disembodied voice say “Nice shirt.” He looks around, but there’s no one nearby that could’ve said it.

Confused, he shrugs it off. A few moments later, he hears the same voice, “I like your tie, too.” He quickly looks around. No one is even near him.
...

Super bowl time! Can YOU pass a football?

am surprised you could even swallow one!

I was surprised to see so many penalties during the Puppy Bowl...

...almost every puppy got called for unnecessary ruff-ness.

My wife asked me if I'd like to spend the evening at home or go play a game of bowling.

So I told her that putting my fingers in sweaty holes where everybody had been before wasn't what I had in mind for tonight. And we went play some bowling.

Damn girl are you a bowling ball?

‘Cause i want to stick 3 fingers in you!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW - A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator.

What are you doing?" she exclaimed.

The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."

Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement.
When he went downstairs...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Roger is a hard worker and he spends most of his nights bowling or playing volleyball. One weekend his wife decides that he needs to relax a little and take a break from sports, so she takes him to a strip club.

The doorman at the club spots them and says, “Hey, Roger! How are you tonight?”
His wife, surprised, asks her husband if he has been here before.
“No, no. He’s just one of the guys I bowl with.”


They are seated and the waitress approaches, sees Roger and says, “Nice to see you, R...

A man walks into a bar and sits down at the counter the bowl of nuts says he has a nice suit when he asks the bartender why they can talk, he says that they are complimentary

well, that joke SUCKED

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys are getting ready for a costume party...

But there's a catch: The host said they have to get dressed up as 'emotions.'

So the first guy goes home and sticks his dick in a pear.

The second guy goes home and sticks his dick in a big bowl of custard.

They show up at the party together and knock on the door. The host opens...

A guy sits down in a restaurant and orders a bowl of chili.

The waitress says, "Sorry, but the guy next to you got the last bowl".


He looks over and sees that the guy's finished his meal, but the bowl of chili is still full. He asks, "Are you going to eat that chili?"


The other guy says, "No. Help yourself".


He slides the bow...

My Canadian friend eats a bowl of fries, cheese curds and brown gravy every single morning.

It's just his daily poutine.

I told my friend i have got a new job at a bowling alley

She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, it's a permanent job."

My wife asked me if I had seen the dog bowl.

I replied that I didn't know he played cricket.

Last night I did Stand-Up in a Bowling Alley parking lot

Some of my jokes struck out. The audience was split.

Super Bowl Halftime

At halftime it's Maroon 5 Patriots 3 Rams 0

I had to wait in line for a bowl of Vietnamese soup

That’s it, no joke. Don’t like it? Pho queue.

How do you get a baby in a bowl?

A blender.

How do you get it out?

Tortilla chips.

A bird walks into a restaurant, order and gets a bowl of soup.

After a minute, the bird angrily calls the waiter :

\- Waiter! There is no fly in my soup!

The Atlanta falcons just came out and said they won the Super Bowl

until the illegal second half was played.

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.

“I’d like to be six again”, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park – the Death Slide, Wall of Fear, Screamin...

Roses are red

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Sugar is sweet

And so are you.

The roses have wilted

The violets are dead

The sugar bowl's empty

And so is your head.

I went to Hawaii with my dad to get a taste of their traditional culture. They set out two bowls of their famous delicacy. When I couldnt choose which one to grab, my dad said,

"Pick your poi, son"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 16-year old boy is taking his girlfriend out on a date

When he picks her up at her parent's house, her dad invites him in and they chit chat while she's getting ready. The dad asks him about their plans for tonight. "We're going to the bowling alley first and afterwards a movie", the boy answers. "When I was your age, I was the very best at bowling", th...

If you can’t beat em join em

I lost my whisk, so I jumped into the bowl with the eggs!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wasn't the only one in my house who was offended by the overly sexual nature of this year's Super Bowl Halftime Show.

Even my teenage son ran to his room so he wouldn't have to watch it.

A man goes to his veterinarian and complains, "I think my goldfish is having seizures."

"He seems fine now," the doctor replies. "Yeah," the man says, "but just wait until I take him out of the bowl."

An American man, a French man, a Spanish man and a German man are standing on the sidewalk, trying to watch a street performer juggle bowling pins.

The juggler notices they're having a bit of trouble, so he stands on a large wooden box and says to them, "Can you see me now?"

They answer one at a time:

"Yes."

"Oui."

"Sí."

"Ja."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sex addict, an alcoholic and a pot head die and arrive at the gates of heaven.

Jesus is standing there looking at them sternly he says, " I stand at these gates to judge the souls that have passed on. If you do not deserve to enter heaven then you will be cast to the fire filled depths of hell where you will spend all eternity in agony."

The three sinners knowing the l...

A young cowboy walks into a dirty old Cafe in Montana.

He takes a seat at the counter and notices an old cowboy next to him with his arms crossed staring blankly at a full bowl of meaty chili.

A few minutes go by and the young cowboy gets the courage to speak up "Sir, if you ain't gonna eat that would you mind if I did?"

"It's all yours f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A well-dressed man, complete with top hat and monocle, walks into a bar.

The bartender, who has seen it all, pours the dapper gentleman two fingers of their top-shelf 25-year-old scotch. Just as the man begins nursing the peaty, smoky booze, a rabbi, a priest, and a minister all walk into the bar, arguing about how to prove the existence of their respective Gods.

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mr. Johnson joined a bowling team. "We meet at 8:00 every Saturday morning," said the captain. "Okay," said Mr. Johnson, "but I might be five minutes late for the first game."

That Saturday, Mr. Johnson arrived at exactly 8:00 and bowled a turkey with his right hand. When he left the bowling alley, he said, "Next week, I might be five minutes late."

The next Saturday, Mr. Johnson arrived at exactly 8:00 and bowled a six-pack with his left hand. When he left the bow...

I proposed to my Russian girlfriend and she said yes!

I proposed to my Russian girlfriend and she said Yes!

For the wedding, my whole family and friends flew over to her home town of Moscow.

It was a beautiful ceremony, however I did find some things strange. For instance, the priest never said, "You may now kiss the bride", but I just as...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup ...

And shit out a statement smarter than the one you just made.

A couple of shrimp were at the bar next to me, eating a bowl of fries. I went to ask if I could have one, but the bartender stopped me. "Don't bother," he said, "they won't share.

They're two shellfish."

What do anti-vaxxers do at Covid-19 funerals?

Stare at the ceiling.
_____________
**Thank you** /u/JustNick4 for giving this joke the extremely desirable **Evil Cackle Award**. I've never won an Evil Cackle Award before, so as you can imagine, I'm over the moon. I'm going to put it in the candy bowl every Halloween for the neighbor kids ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For a good time go bowling

A woman was having sex with her husbands best friend when her phone rang and her husband's name appeared on the ID. As she answered the call, her lover jumped out of bed and began to dress in a hurry. "relax" she said after she hung up the phone. He was just calling to tell me that he'd be home late...

Can you teach me how the scoring works in bowling?

Of course! It’s something right up my alley!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man's wife sends him out to get some cigarettes

So he walks down to the nearby store only to find that it's closed. He goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. While at the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her. They have a couple of beers together, and then one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment.<...

Corona didn’t need an ad in the Super Bowl for their beer.

It’s already gone viral.

There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor.

The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. "You might want to write it down," she said. The husband said, "No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream." She then told ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Oriental man was sitting in a restaurant in Chinatown when a Jew suddenly came up and tipped a bowl of fried rice over his head.

"That's for Pearl Harbour" , said the Jew.
"But I'm Chinese", cried the man. The Jew was unrepentant. "Chinese, Siamese, Japanese, you're all the same!" At this, the Chinaman picked up his plate of sweet and sour chicken and threw it over the Jew.
"That's for sinking the Titanic", shouted the...

I saw a man at the Super Bowl with an empty seat next to him.

I lean over and ask him how there is an empty seat. He told me that he bought the tickets several months ago for him and his wife, but the wife unfortunately passed. I give my condolences, and I ask him why none of his family members took the ticket. He responded that they are all at the funeral.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is.

All his professionallism goes right out the window...
He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.
"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?
"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.
He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off...

College football is introducing the Rosary Bowl

Every play is a Hail Mary

What's the difference between a French girl and a bowling ball?

You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.

I was very angry when my waiter served me bowl of dust. But then he pointed out, it's written right there on the menu...

"We only use the finest ingredients"

During isolation I have a lot of time to practice my bowling..

There’s no rest for the wickets

Poor dog

I'm so sad. Stupid me. Yesterday i drained all the old gas out of my lawnmower and left it in a bowl beside the garage. Next thing i know, my dog drank it all then started running high speed laps around yard. He does about five laps, then runs right up to me and looks me dead in the eye, rolls over ...

I was watching the Super Bowl at my friends house when my real estate agent called me...

Told me some of my property had burned down.

In both cases, Mahomes' on fire.

My girlfriend told me I was disgusting for licking the bowl after I finished.

I guess she's used to most people just flushing.

A man goes to the Super Bowl but his tickets are for the upper tier. He spots an open seat on the 50-yard line and grabs it.

The guy sitting next to him says, “Actually, this seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven’t been together since we got married in 1967.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” says the first man. “Couldn’t you find a friend or rel...

"Do you know what is the difference between a toilet bowl and a cooking pan?"

"No, I don’t"

"Okay, then I certainty will not be going to eat at your place!"

A Mexican and his Chinese friend are hosting a Super Bowl party

I wonder who’s bringing the Corona

What's the difference between a toilet bowl and a soup bowl?

If you had to click to find out, I'm never having soup at your place.

Abram is coming home in grief and despair

His wife is asking what happened
\- *Oy vey iz mir!* \- he tells her - So much spending! So much money I am going to lose! Today our rabbi gave a speech: "For many years we are living among Russians but they still don't like us. And we don't even know why. I gave it many a thought and decided...

What did the Spanish ghost have for breakfast?

A bowl of ethereal...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who dips their dick in a bowl of Cheerios?

A cereal rapist

An Australian gets off the boat in 1930's dust bowl USA and wanders around the land a while.

The harbor master meets him at the shore and asked him...why are you here now?
Did you come here to die??
Naw mate... I came here yesterdie.

The Patriots aren't going to the Super Bowl this year

I'm deflated.

Stay Alert - The Bowling-Alley Killer is still at large ...

Police warn he may strike again.

My girlfriend broke up with me since I made too many bowling jokes.

I guess they just weren't up her alley.


God she's such a pinhead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four nuns died and were at the gates of heaven. An angel greeted them.

"Welcome to heaven, dear sisters. God awaits you inside. But in order to be able to enter heaven, you have to be cleansed of your sins first."

Then the angel summoned a huge bowl with some kind of holy, luminous water in it and called the first nun.

"Have you got any sins to be cleanse...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

To my future wife and widow :

when I die I want you to mix my ashes with a bowl of chili, then eat it. Just so that I can tear that ass up one more time.

A joke my friend told me (long)

Two Texans are hanging out in hell. One day, the devil walks up and says, "why are you two not burning?" The Texans reply, "We're from Texas, this feels great." So the devil goes and turns the heat wayyy up. There's no describing this heat. He returns to the Texans to find them still just hanging ou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a genie appeared. The genie said, "I can only grant you one wish. So ... what will it be?"

The young woman pulled out a map of the middle east from her back pack. "See these countries, Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Iran, Iraq, Palestine and Israel etc. Well I want them all to live in peace" she said. The Genie studied the map. "WTF lady, they've been fighting each other for hundreds of years, th...

A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says "Hey, you're a handsome fellow."

The man tries to ignore the bowl of pretzels, and orders a fine Pilsner beer.

The bowl of pretzels then says "Ooooh, a pilsner, great choice. You're a smart man."

Starting to freak out, the guy says to the bartender "Hey what the hell, this bowl of pretzels keeps saying nice things t...

Whats green and gets smoked in bowls?

Notre Dame

Congratulations to Jason Pierre Paul

He's won a Super Bowl ring for every finger.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes to his doctor and says...

"I need help. I can't resist the urge to put my penis into bowls of cashews."

The doctor says "You're fucking nuts!"

Netflix is producing a documentary about the end of BlockBuster....

Thats like if the school shooters produced "Bowling for Columbine"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sister Teresa is walking down to breakfast when she meets another nun walking up.

"Good morning, Sister Assumpta!" says Sister Teresa. "Good morning, Sister Teresa!" says the other. "Did you get out of bed the wrong side this morning?"

Puzzled, Sister Teresa continues on her way to the refectory. "Good morning, Sister Pieta!" she says to the nun serving porridge. "Good mor...

We will never see Super Bowl LIVE

E is not a Roman Numeral

What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?

An Airstrike

A guy goes into a restaurant. It is quite full, so he goes and sits down at a table vis-à-vis a man reading a newspaper.

He waits and waits a long time without being served and he starts to glance over to the bowl of soup, which is seemingly untouched by the guy with the newspaper.

After a while his hunger gets too bad, he grabs the bowl and the spoon and starts eating. It doesn't taste very good, it seems to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yesterday I pooped, and when I went to flush, the bowl was empty.

I lost my shit.

What’s the difference between a bowling ball and a baby?

a bowling ball doesn’t scream when its rolled down the aisle

I pee on the side of the bowl to make less noise.

My sister wasn't happy that I ruined her cereal.

What do you call a noodle bowl that was accidentally made much smaller than intended?

A pho cup

A man and his dog were walking along a road

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them..

After a while, they came to...

It was getting close to my wife’s birthday. She was looking at herself in the mirror. I asked her what she’d like for her birthday. She sighed and said I’d like to be eight again...

On the morning of her birthday. I woke up early and made her a nice big bowl of coco pops. I then took her to for a special trip to Legoland. On the way home we stopped at McDonald’s where I got her a Happy Meal together we a special McDonalds balloon. We then went to the cinema where they were pl...

That's not a bowling ball, dad.

This weekend me and my dad were out bowling, you see. He gets his shoes on, and picks his ball from the rack. A nice, shiny, pinkish purple ball. He throws it down the lane, and we can't find it. The thing is gone. We look for at least an hour for this ball, but it's vanished. In the car on the way ...

Is the Super Bowl on tape delay?

No, it’s LIV.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In honor of one of the Super Bowl commercials...

So a guy goes to the doctor because his penis is bright orange.

The doctor examines him and says, "I've never seen anything like this before. Are you under a lot of stress at work?"

The guy says, "No."

The doctor says, "If you don't mind my asking, what do you do for a living?"<...

Why can’t they make a bowling video game?

Because they couldn’t measure it in frames per second.

What did Voldemort say to Peter Pettigrew when they went bowling?

“*Kill the spare.*”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Low wage workers play basketball. Tradesmen go bowling. Middle managers play softball. Upper managers play tennis. CEOs play golf.

The lesson: the higher you climb, the smaller your balls get.

I really need to buy a new toilet bowl ...

The one I have is full

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whenever you’re sitting on the toilet all alone in silence, do you ever think something is crawling up the pipes into the toilet bowl and then is going to suddenly slither up into your butthole?

Well, you will now. You’re welcome!

Gambling is like eating a bowl of pistachios

If you get a good pistachio, you want another good one
If you get a bad one, you want a good one even more
And that’s gambling for you in a nutshell

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Memory Man

An Englishman was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the mountains of Nevada. He was chatting to the barman when he spotted an old Indian sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face. “Who’s he?” asked the man.
“That’s the Memory Man.” said...

What's a soup spoon's favorite sport?

Bowling.

My wife gets mad when I lick the bowl

"Knock it off! The kids are watching you for God's sake...

... Just flush it like a normal person!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar with a donkey and an ostrich.

He sits down at the counter and asks for a beer.

“That will be 5.98$, sir.”, the bartender says.

The man, puts his hand into his pocket and pulls out 5 dollars and 98 cents in exact change.

“How much will it cost to buy everyone here a round of drinks?”, the man asks, taking a s...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.