Nuclear Weapons Jokes - 11 Hilarious Nuclear Weapons Jokes

Zelensky: Why did you invade Iraq?

United States: Because we "suspected" nuclear weapons.

Zelensky: So why not attack Russia now?

United States: Because we know that Russia has nuclear weapons.

In space, two aliens are talking to each other.

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."

The second alien asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"

The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have aimed at themselves"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Religious people are like tactical nuclear weapons...

It only takes one flying wildly off course, to fuck up alot of innocent people.

And if there happens to be alot of them, we are all fucked.

What's the difference between Syria and a nuclear weapons test site?

A test site will be evacuated.

For anyone who doesn’t know how to make nuclear weapons, this is basically how...

Carefully.

North Korea wants nuclear weapons so bad, even their leader is a nuke

Little boy and Fat Man

If we're being honest, there is really only one country that has to worry about North Koreas nuclear weapons...

That country being North Korea.

I've been studying the Cold War and nuclear weapons for history class non-stop...

...it's driving me MAD.

A man and a woman are painfully flirting

The restaurant was practically empty, save for them. The man and the woman sat in silence, each waiting for the other to begin.

The man started.

"H-Hi." **Oh god, I sound like an idiot.**

"...Hi." *My Voice! Please come out!*

"So...uh...um...do w-weather?" **What is wrong...

An alien mothership is scouting planet Earth.

Alien Scout: “Sir, the Humans appear to possess massive military capabilities, nuclear weapons included.”

Alien Commander: “This is problematic, are they really such an intelligent species?”

Alien Scout: “Apparently not Sir, they appear to have them pointed at themselves.”

"Galactic Central, this is Captain Zod reporting in"

"*Captain Zod, this is Galactic Central. Please make your report.*"

"Galactic Central, we successfully reached Planet Earth and have completed our survey."

"*Captain Zod, understood. What did you find*?"

"Galactic Central, we found a large number of orbital nuclear weapons aroun...

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