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Nuclear Bomb Jokes

What did the Big Boy Atomic Bomb say to the Nuclear Bomb when they met?

Nuke, I am your father.

A nuclear bomb was dropped on Alabama

One family was killed

Since Russia took away Ukraine's Nuclear Bombs, what do they have now

Depleted Ukranium

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My history teacher told us that if a nuclear bomb was closely approaching, being flexible would be very helpful.

It's so that you can bend your body and kiss your ass goodbye.

I don't know why North Korea needs a nuclear bomb...

...their weather machine seems to be working just fine

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Raid

I read this joke somewhere a while ago and remembered it today while talking to my hubby:
If the cockroaches survived nuclear bomb so what’s the hell is in Raid ?!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My boyfriend told me he calls his dick "little ISIS"...

My boyfriend told me he calls his dick "little ISIS" because it's like a nuclear bomb in his pants.

I told him he should call it "little North Korea" because that nuclear bomb is dysfunctional.

The US military would be really disappointed

when it sits down to brainstorm a name for the nuclear bomb to be dropped on Kim Jong-un and realises that Fatman is already taken.

A military airfield, a test of new aircrafts. A special commission is standing and watching.

Suddenly, a huge bomb falls off one plane, which was going to take off, and begins to roll in the direction of the commission. All fall to the ground, except the old colonel. The bomb rolls straight towards him. He stopped it with his foot, without removing the cigarette from his mouth.

...

An old Soviet anecdote [WARNING: GORE]

A chief talks to his tribe:

— Are we the greatest tribe?

Entire tribe shouts:

— YES!!!

— Then we need our own nuclear bomb and a rocket to carry it!

— YES!!!

— Let's build them then.

The tribe chopped down the thickest and tallest tree in the forest, ...

An Indian Chief was taking a week off in Las Vegas

After just two days, he had gambled away all his funds, so he sent a smoke signal back to his tribe asking them to wire him more money.

The tribe signalled back, saying "No way, you're being reckless with your money and we're not sending you any more!"

Just then, a nuclear bomb was det...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[slight racism] So a Hercules plane is failing while carrying a small squad...

A Hercules plane has a motor go kapputt while in flight. The soldiers inside start throwing equipment off the plane to keep it lighter and help it fly better until it can land, but after they toss almost everything, the general says:

* General: We need to throw someone out of the plane!
...

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