United Kingdom Jokes

A country whose name is now ironic.

Because Rick Astley is British.

Soon it will be the Untied Kingdom.

He turned to his angels and said, “ They shall live on a miserable damp island, they’ll barely get along with each other and be constantly on each other’s throats if not dealing with other countries, have bland food, the worst dental hygiene and have this insufferable fantasy about their country bei... read more

"All I want for Christmas is EU"

They'll be asking to rejoin the United Kingdom later today.

It'll be known as the National Elf Service.

Iceburgh

The three are given only 30 minutes to complete their assignment.

The first student decides to paint Germany's flag, the second will paint the United Kingdom's, and the third Hungary's.

The first and second are already making good progress. The third's about to take his first brush str... read more

...a comet flies past Earth. This comet was enchanted, and after it flew past the world, it caused all statues to come to life, solely focused on destroying every country in the world.

No nation was left safe from this attack. The gargoyles attacked France. The Statue of Liberty led a revolt ... read more

One day, the Queen of The United Kingdoms designed a beautiful new crest for the royal family and seeing it, I saw an opportunity for profit and began selling t-shirts with the design printed on them thinking that the royal family wouldn't mind.

After several very angry calls from the royal f... read more

A dishevelled white haired man crosses the desert that was once the English Channel from the United Kingdom of England to visit the capital of the Eurasian Empire in Brussels. As has been the case for 200 years, he delivers an unsigned letter and returns home, only to repeat the process again the n... read more

The future King has not been getting a great reception in the United Kingdom so decides to go somewhere more remote. Not long after his arrival in Perth, he is walking down the Hay Street Mall with an interesting choice of head wear. A Davy Crocket style hat, real fox fur with the tail at the back, ... read more

United Kingdom, because the Queen has reigned for years.

*this is my 8 year old daughters absolute favorite joke.

I'm taking European history for a 'social studies' credit. Closer to the end of the semester we had a group project and my group ended up with the united kingdom as our topic. Almost immediately we ran into problems though because everyone was against group work and organizing this was growing ever ... read more

The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline. He leaves a ceremonial letter. For reasons lost in time, this letter is always unsigned. Ceremonial garb includes a suit that looks like it was made for a someone of an entirely different si... read more