Notion Jokes - 20 Hilarious Notion Jokes

An elementary teacher wanted to introduce physiological notions to her students.

She asks her class: Whoever feels stupid at times stand up!
After a while, little Johnny stands up, grudgingly.
The teacher asks: So Johnny, you feel stupid from time to time?
Little Johnny replies: No ma’am, it’s just painful to see you standing all alone.

In the class on medical notions, the teacher asked the students to bring instruments used in a hospital.

In the class on medical notions, the teacher asked the students to bring instruments used in a hospital.

\- Susy, what did you bring?

\- A scalpel.

\- Who gave it to you?

\- My mother gave it to me.

\- And what did she say?

\- She said it's for cutting skin!...

What sort of dice has its opinions formed by preconceived notions?

A prejudice

There was a young French artillery officer, who had notions of grandeur, that is, until the day he stood too close to a firing cannon

He thought he was Napoleon, but he was actually blown-a-part.

Even though I'm a nerd, I don't really embrace the notion of complete and perfect knowledge of canon, but I'll admit I was pretty embarrassed when I lost all credibility in a discussion on Chewbacca when I inadvertently spelled it with a K.

It was a Wookie mistake.

A Young Vulture is sick of eating dead things and wants to be a vegetarian...

So he asks his parents whether they can start incorporating some vegetables into their meals.

His father is ashamed of him and says 'No'.

So the young vulture asks if he could bring a carrot to dinner and his mother and father tell him that he is a disgrace to the family and to put the...

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It's a fair notion to suggest that I'm quite keen on oral contraceptives.

I asked a girl to have with my one night.

She said "No."

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A man moves out to far west Texas

A man moves out to far west Texas. He is busy at unloading his furniture from the truck he’d rented when he sees a cloud of dust faint on the horizon. After a couple more trips inside it has grown larger, and after about an hour he sees a battered and dusty pickup finally turning up his road, and sp...

Benjamin Franklin and George Washington walk into a bar and sit down next to Trump.

Franklin turns to Trump and says: "I do not believe you understand the value of liberty, my good fellow."

Trump turns to Franklin and gives him a $100 dollar bill and says: "Of course I do. Money rules this world, Mr. Franklin. That's all I need to know!" Trump taps Franklin's portrait on ...

Why is it so easy to think about the Pacific?

Because it's a notion

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So a man was playing golf...

So this dude was out playing golf on a Sunday. About half way through the first 9 holes, he forgets what hole he is on so he asks a lady in front of him, "hey miss, sorry to bother you, but I've forgotten what hole I am on, and you are on the hole in front of me, would you mind telling me what hole ...

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A greek and an Irish were comparing their heritages.

"We built the pantheon, along with the Temple of Apollo", said the Greek.

"Aye, 'twas the Irish the discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices", replied the Irish.

"But it was the Greeks who gave birth to advanced mathematics."

"Granted, but was the Irish who built the first tim...

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Medical experts were asked if it is time to lift the COVID-19 lockdown restrictions.

There were mixed responses.

Allergists were in favor of scratching it altogether, but dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

Gastroenterologists had a gut feeling it was a bad idea, and neurologists claimed the government had a lot of nerve.

Obstetricians felt certai...

Two construction workers were eating lunch on a bench on the side of the road...

As they were eating lunch, they notice a very attractive woman walking on the other side of the road. The two workers start to cat call her until she stops and looks at them.
Once she looks at them, they make the notion for her flash them by pulling up on their shirts. The woman looks around and...

The short version of a long joke

Bernie brags at a bar that he knows lots of celebrities, including Clint Eastwood. When Phil calls him a liar, they bet on it, and Bernie takes him to Clint's house, where Bernie receives a warm welcome.

Weeks later Bernie brags about knowing the queen of England. Sure enough, Phil scoffs at...

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A man goes to the doctor with a huge lasting headache, "I can't live with it anymore doc, please find out what's wrong".

So the doctor ran some tests, and after carefully studying the results, he presented the bad news to the patient. "It seems you have a very rare nervous disease near your testicles causing your headache. You have two options; either we cut off your testes or I can put you on very heavy pain medicati...

Sitting in a refrigerator

This guy comes home from work early and runs up several flights of stairs to surprise his wife. As soon as he gets inside he smells cigar smoke and immediately gets the notion that his wife was fooling around with another man. Convinced he is still in the appartment, he checks every possible hiding ...

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The requested a wage raise from his company one day

He presented the following arguments to justify his request:

"Dear Board, I, as the , request a raise due to following reasons:

1. I work hard physically.
2. I always use my head in every job I do.
3. I work in both deep and superficial environments.
4. My working environ...

Blonde Painter

One day, a blonde decided to end all of the notions that blondes are dumb and can't do anything right, so she decided to get a job as a painter and prove them wrong. She went house to house asking for a job, and most rejected due to that she was blonde.

She then came upon an old man, and he s...

Ginger the baker

Once upon a time, in a very, very small town, there was a baker who was named Ginger. She was a very modest person, and not only was she humble, but also very soft spoken and kind. She was famous in the town for her baked goods, especially her cakes.

One day she was experimenting and created...

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