Sad news to share: my dad just contracted COVID, and lost his sense of taste.

He's been listening to a lot of Justin Bieber.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I lost my sense of taste and think I have COVID!!!!

Oh shit. It’s just Bud Light, I’m ok.

What do the movies The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?

Icy dead people

I want to know if this brazillian joke makes sense in other cultures

A woman went out and did not return home. On the next day she told her husband that she had slept at her friend's house. Not believing her, the husband called 10 of her best friends and none of them knew what he was talking about.

A man went out and did not return home. On the next day, he to...

Dr: "I have some good news and some bad news Spiderman. The good news is that the constant tingling sensation isn't your Spidey sense warning you of some huge, impending calamity!"

"What's the bad news Doc?"

"Well son, what do you know about genital herpes?"

My wife is mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed down my stuff and right

My mom has a rule that no friends are allowed at our house in November because of holidays. (It makes no sense.)

But she has a friend that she decided that she'll let over in November. My mom told her "You're an exception. You can come any time in November." So I said "Very poor choice of words." and her friend started dying of laughter, but I got grounded.

For my cake day, a joke I made up as a kid: Why is Aquaman such a dedicated super hero?

Because he was born with a sense of porpoise.

"I think I might be coming down with COVID because I'm losing my sense of hearing."

"No, with COVID you lose your sense of smell"

"What?"

With losing your sense of smell from COVID-19 being a symptom, I no longer call it farting in a crowded elevator.

I call it a free COVID-19 test

A Chinese doctor cant find a job in a hospital in America, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside that reads "GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100."

An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.

Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste."

Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 14 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth."

Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene."

Chinese: "Congrats, yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Gay people have no excuse to have a bad fashion sense

Like homie what were you doing in the closet that whole time

When I told my parents that I'd lost all of my senses except hearing and taste, they kicked me out

They won't support me now that they know I'm bisensual

My wife and I share the same sense of humor.

We have to because she doesn’t have one.

I can always sense when my siblings are going to have a daughter.

I have telekineices.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today a flat earther friend of mine told me the earth was as as flat as my sense of humor.

I told him his girlfriends ass would've been a better comparison.

So my friend told me I had a really bad sense of direction the other day

I hate to admit it, but he was left

The people who wear their masks below their nose actually makes sense...

They're just dumb mouth breathers

My mum and family didn't find this funny, so I've come to find an unbiased source to determine whether or not I have a sense of humour

Mum: I don't know if I'm even going to attend (her sister's) funeral when the time comes.

Me: (deadpan) well, at least she wouldn't be there.

What do the “bad parts” of American history and common sense have in common?

They are being wiped from existence.

Americans have a terrible sense of humour

I mean, their healthcare is a joke and most of them don't even get it.

Why jokes about Finland don't make sense?

It starts with 'a finnish'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tried to translate a Turkish joke, hope it makes sense

Temel and his wife Fadime were at an amusement park. Fadime asked Temel if she could swing on the swing set. He refused, saying that other people would be able to see her panties. She asked him several times but Temel said no.

Minutes passed by and Temel had to use the restroom. When he got b...

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don’t make sense.

Refrigerator

First, we bought toilet paper for a respiratory virus because we lack common sense.

Now, we have a nationwide coin shortage, which means we lack common cents!

I hate my job at the morgue, nobody gets my sense of humor.

I swear I’m working with a bunch of stiffs.

Have you ever tried drinking so much alcohol, your wife makes sense?

Me neither, but I keep trying...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope contracts a rare terminal illness.

The best specialists were quietly called in from around the world for consultation.After much debate and research they determined that the only hope to save the Pope's life was for him to have sexual relations with a woman. His advisors were notified and they in turn spoke in confidence with the pop...

My girlfriend is always getting annoyed that I have a rotten sense of direction

I finally snapped, packed up my things and right.

My gf thinks I have a good sense of humor.

Until she found out this sub reddit.

My brother told me that I don't have a sense of humor.

So I broke his spine

Interviewer: So what are your strengths and weaknesses. Me: I have a decent sense of humor but my General Knowledge is not so good.

Interviewer: Ok, then tell us a joke.

Me: Knock Knock.

Interviewer: Who?

Me: 2nd US President.

Interviewer: 2nd US President who?

Me: Like I said, my General knowledge isn't good.

A friend said my sense of humor was so dark...

that is was like a black hole. Not even a light pun could escape it.

Common sense is like AIDS.

Some are born with it while others have to get it pounded into them.

Why do iPhone have a great sense of humor?

Because they crack up easily.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check.

After all, its not like Donald Trump could write a book.

Edit: alot of people moaning in the comments "this is a stupid joke, Trump did actually write some books so this makes no sense!?".

Look at the sub you are in, some of these posts you'll see will just be jokes. If you are the sn...

I have a very dark sense of humor

Its so dark that cops are beating it to death.

I’ve never used my sense of touch.

What does it feel like?

You know what makes sense?

Perfume factories.

I have read that symptoms of the Covid19 virus can include loss of smell and taste. Well I don't know about your sense of smell....

But judging by your hair and clothes I think you might've had this disease for quite some time.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Calling your penis life makes sense.

You can say life is hard every morning jo matter how you feel

A couple are isolating during covid

The man says "Now is the perfect time for me to go down on you."

The woman excitedly asks "Why is that?"

The man responds "I just lost my senses of taste and smell."

What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? –

Laughing stock.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Went for a walk with my new girlfriend and we saw dogs..

*Went for a walk with my new girlfriend and we saw dogs mating, she said ‘how does the male know when the female is ready for sex ?*
*I replied he can smell she is ready that is how nature works.*
*We then walked past a sheep field and the ram was mating the ewe, again my girlfreind asked ...

Due to COVID I’ve been reading article after article forwards and backwards trying to make sense of it all.

And I have to say, I still don’t know what DIVOC is going on

Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"

Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"

Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"

Translated - hope it makes sense to you guys :)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes for a prostate exam.

The doctor is checking him out when he finds a roll of $100 bills stuffed up his ass. He pulls out the money and counts it.

“You’re not gonna believe this, but I just found $1900 shoved up your ass!”

The man says, “Well that makes sense. That’s why I haven’t been feeling too grand.”

I had the greatest sense of a fulfilled purpose back in that marine corps.

*wait...stupid autocorrect...*

*scents *porpoise *corpse

It's a sixth sense

I can usually tell how uncomfortable a person is just by hugging them for 18 minutes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Birthday Gift For My Dad

This conversation has to have come up before with these devices. I generally don't have much wit, but my Dad pitched me such a lob, I couldn't resist to nail him with the "obvious."

I called my Dad to ask him if he might like a set of Tile Stickers. These are cool little devices you can stick...

I've heard common sense has been lacking during the pandemic.

So I only tip in pennies now.

Looking for "A__is like a__, it__." For example: A dark sense of humor is like a make-a-wish child...

....It never grows old.

If you have one, please share. Joke, not make-a-wish child.

That just makes a lot of sense

Did you know that the past tense of the word "read" is Reddit?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Capitalism and politics explained in the best way possible.

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your ...

The ending of Game of Thrones makes sense, think about it.

Arya went west, Jon went north, Drogon went east, and the show went south.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Marine returns from duty in Iraq and is immediately reassigned to a remote location in Afghanistan.

That evening he arrives at his new post; a run down mosque in the middle of nowhere.

As he switches over with the marine currently stationed there, he realises there is no bed, no clean water, no toilet, just him, his weapon and the dirt on the floor.

The next morning he wakes up to fi...

A guy walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch ...

As the bartender pours the drink, he remarks, "That's quite a heavy drink. What's the problem?"
After quickly downing his drink, the guy replies, "I found my wife in bed with my best friend."

'Wow," says the barkeep. "What did you do about it?" "I walked over to my wife, looked her in th...

It makes sense that venice has been hit hard by the virus.

where else can you be guaranteed that they won't run out of face masks?

What's the name for a phobia of chainsaws?

Common sense

(my 9-year-old just came and shared that gem with me)

A mathematician arrives at work on a bike

His colleague asks "Where did you get the bike?"

"That's really curious. Imagine, I was walking down the road, suddenly that young woman comes along on this bike, jumps off, takes her dress off 'til she's naked and says "Take what you want". So I took the bike."

"Makes sense", his coll...

A Russian, a Brit and an American are stuck on a mountain

While they wait for rescue to arrive, they get together for a meal. As everyone is taking out their kits and prepping, the Russian starts boasting "in the soviet army, they feed us 2000 calories of food a day". The Brit turns and scoffs at him, then he says " in the royal army, we are fed 4000 calor...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Reddit Karma is like women

At first, everyone seems to have it except you.

No one knows how they work but everyone want them.

It would look really hard to get it untill you finally get it unexpectedly, somehow.

A difference of opinion and you lose them.

But they give you a sense of value even after...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It makes sense that the Right to Bear Arms is the 2nd amendment

If the 1st amendment is, “I should be able to say whatever the fuck I want”

Then it makes sense that the founding fathers said, “Oh ya, I should probably have a gun too”

A symptom of Covid-19 is losing your sense of taste

According to my wardrobe I've had it for years!

Something I don't understand.

I **never** get why some people randomly emphasis a few odd words in a paragraph. Are you **gonna** just read the emphasised words? When you write like this, does it **give you** a sense of satisfaction? What's **up** with that?

This man is at work one day when he notices that his male co- worker is wearing an earring.

This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.”“Yo, Bob, I didn’t know you were into earrings.”“Oh, yeah, sure,” says Bob sheepishly.“Really? How long have you been wearing one?”“Ever since my wife found it in our bed!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Autopsy professor

An autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students.

Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. 'There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear.' Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpse's anus and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Makes perfect sense to me that everyone is panic buying toilet roll because of the Coronavirus...

One sneeze and everyone shits themselves!

The sound effect of intensity makes sense

3Tons will intensify any moment

her: I'll have the salad, no nuts, please.

**waiter:** of course

**me:** it didn’t say it had nuts

**her:** I'm allergic, so I tell them to be safe

**me:** that makes sense

**waiter:** and for you?

**me:** steak, no bees, please.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An half-japanese teenager, an Englishman with a huge sense of humour, an Egyptian who works as a fortune teller and a French guy walk into a bar and elder four ice teas.

It was very bizzare.

Cakeday Joke, a day late...

A girl walks up to her mother and asks, "Mommy, why am I named Clover?"

"Your grandma believes that it brings luck to our family."

Then, her other daughter walks up. "Mommy, why am I named Nirvana?"

"Because, your aunt believes that is the place you go when you are enlightened."...

Trump golfed so much during his presidency...

That he thinks a lower score is better. Which is why he keeps claiming he won the election. It all makes sense now.

I can sense when a room has been occupied in the past.

Someone has definitely just been in this bathroom.

Why did the Trump supporter not realize he had COVID-19?

He didn't have a sense of taste to begin with.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You're welcome!

Once upon a time, there was a particularly intelligent sperm cell living inside a particularly large blue whale. From the time it was created, the sperm cell studied diligently and learned a great many things. It read the full text of Wikipedia. It learned languages, history, science. It learned the...

My wife has NO sense of humor

I still thought "hi 'Drowning', I'm Dad!" was hilarious.

My lawyer has such a good sense of fashion, he wins every court case

He really puts on the best lawsuits.

A wife asks her husband, "If I died, do you think you would remarry?" (joke from my 79 year old great aunt)

The husband replies, "Remarry? No way! I'd be too devestated by your death, I could never replace you."

The wife insists that her husband take a new wife, "If I go before you, I would hate for you to be alone. Please tell me you'd find a new wife."

The husband promises to honor his wi...

This Goat walks into a post office

And says to the Postmaster "I need to send a telegram."
The Postmaster says "OK, what is it?"
The Goat says "I need it to say, maa maa maa maa maa maa maa." The Postmaster counts the words and says "Well, for the same price, I can put 4 more "MAAs" in for you."
The Goat looks at him and say...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.