My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction

So I packed up my stuff and right

Medical advances these days are absolutely crazy. They've found ways to activate taste buds in people who were born without the sense. Surprisingly most people don't like it at first.

Its an acquired taste.

I watched the Sixth Sense and Titanic...

Now icy dead people.

Today I lost my sense of humour

It's not funny

Sometimes it makes no sense to vaccinate your children.

For example, when they're already dead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You: Bastard



Me: You just did

You: I'm not going to do that

Me: This joke only makes sense if you read it backwards

What do you call a well dressed lawn statue with an excellent sense of rhythm?

A metro-gnome

My wife hated that I didn’t have a sense of direction

So I packed my stuff up and right

Some names make sense. Like "Johnson" was probably given to the son of a guy named "John". Or how someone with the family name "Smith" most likely had some Blacksmiths in the family at some point.

But when someone has the name "Dickinson." I draw the line.

People tell me I don’t have a sense of humor. It’s not my fault. I was born with a serious birth defect.

I was born without a humerus.

They say that orienteering gives you a sense of freedom.

I don’t think that is true, there are controls everywhere!







(Seeing as Americans don’t know what orienteering is I foresee this joke bombing!) :D

It makes sense that socks are always separating

Because one of them always has to be right, so the other one left

Common sense is like dial-up internet access

It hasn’t been used in years

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You look, you get a sense of it, and you look away.

AND you can look longer with sunglasses!

Donald Trump had a close adviser named Hope Hicks. Which makes sense -- her name suggests his campaign strategy:

Say racist things and hope hicks will vote for you.

All of this vegan activism just makes no sense.....

Normally they don't want no beef.

Why does Frankenstein's monster have such a good sense of humor?

Because he's always in stitches!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Whenever a guy doesn’t share my sense of humor I tell them that my jokes are a lot like blowjobs.

You don’t get them

A dark sense of humor is a early sign of dementia.

A dark sense of humor is a early sign of dementia.

I'm currently reading this really captivating book called "How To Improve Your Sense of Direction".

It's so good that I can't put it up.

Every day I like to fill my kids' minds with a sense of wonder.

Like "I wonder who my Dad is?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Teacher: Today we will be working on our sense of taste.

Teacher hands the 1st student a red life saver.

Student 1: Cherry

Teacher hands the 2nd student a green life saver.

Student 2: Lime

Teacher hands the third student a clear life saver.

Student sucks on it but cannot give an answer.

Teacher: Hint, it is what y...

Kid from The Sixth Sense asked to comment on Game Of Thrones and he described it with one sentence.

"Icey dead people"

A sense of humor is like food...

...you're not allowed to have it in Soviet Russia.

There’s something wrong with my sense of touch and depth perception...

But I just can’t put my finger on it.

Did you hear the tagline for the new show: "6th Sense on Ice"?

Icey dead people

What would you think if one day, you woke up and didn’t have a sense of humor?

You probably wouldn’t think it was very funny.

I found a way around the Chai niece sense or ship

[Not removed]

Thanks to video games, kids today have a warped sense of the word "Boss"...

Last weekend I introduced my son to my boss ...he drank a potion, then attacked her!

Someone asked me if I had ever noticed that I had a keen sense for being able to tell where water was underground...

I replied, "I'm well aware."

If you lose one sense your other senses are enhanced

That explains why people with no sense of humour have a heightened sense of self importance

A Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital,

He opens a clinic and puts a sign outside.

'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100.'
A lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.

Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste."

Doc; "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 dro...

I guess it makes sense Maduro won’t step down.

He was a bus driver originally and those guys never stop when someone tells them too.

what has four letters, is a vegetable if you take away the last, an organ if you take away the first, and gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment if you take away both

pear

A blonde came up to the librarian and yelled, "This book sucks! There's way too many characters and the story makes no sense!"

The librarian said, "So you're the one who took our phone book."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Islamic terrorists makes no sense . Commit suicide and might get 72 virgins ?

Become a Catholic priest and get them now

People always tell me my rhymes don't make sense.

And they're absolutely right. Pretense.

Ever sense I met you I haven’t been able to eat or drink.

Her: Why?

Me: Because I’m broke.

It doesn’t make sense that you’re statistically more likely to die when you’re old

The older you are, the more experience you have not dying

Wanna know how I know that God has a sense of humor?

I look in a mirror.

My 5 year old grandson came up with this joke, and didn't even realize it was funny and made sense: Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom?

Because he was dribbling. 😊

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