I want to know if this brazillian joke makes sense in other cultures

A woman went out and did not return home. On the next day she told her husband that she had slept at her friend's house. Not believing her, the husband called 10 of her best friends and none of them knew what he was talking about.

A man went out and did not return home. On the next day, he to...

My wife is mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed down my stuff and right

What do "The Sixth Sense" and "Titanic" Have In Common?

Icy dead people.

I can always sense when my siblings are going to have a daughter.

I have telekineices.

Why jokes about Finland don't make sense?

It starts with 'a finnish'

The people who wear their masks below their nose actually makes sense...

They're just dumb mouth breathers

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Tried to translate a Turkish joke, hope it makes sense

Temel and his wife Fadime were at an amusement park. Fadime asked Temel if she could swing on the swing set. He refused, saying that other people would be able to see her panties. She asked him several times but Temel said no.

Minutes passed by and Temel had to use the restroom. When he got b...

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Gay people have no excuse to have a bad fashion sense

Like homie what were you doing in the closet that whole time

What do the “bad parts” of American history and common sense have in common?

They are being wiped from existence.

First, we bought toilet paper for a respiratory virus because we lack common sense.

Now, we have a nationwide coin shortage, which means we lack common cents!

My gf thinks I have a good sense of humor.

Until she found out this sub reddit.

It doesn't make sense that trump is a white supremacist.

Why isn't he an orange supremacist?

I hate my job at the morgue, nobody gets my sense of humor.

I swear I’m working with a bunch of stiffs.

Americans have a terrible sense of humour

I mean, their healthcare is a joke and most of them don't even get it.

Interviewer: So what are your strengths and weaknesses. Me: I have a decent sense of humor but my General Knowledge is not so good.

Interviewer: Ok, then tell us a joke.

Me: Knock Knock.

Interviewer: Who?

Me: 2nd US President.

Interviewer: 2nd US President who?

Me: Like I said, my General knowledge isn't good.

My girlfriend is always getting annoyed that I have a rotten sense of direction

I finally snapped, packed up my things and right.

Have you ever tried drinking so much alcohol, your wife makes sense?

Me neither, but I keep trying...

My brother told me that I don't have a sense of humor.

So I broke his spine

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Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I w...

A friend said my sense of humor was so dark...

that is was like a black hole. Not even a light pun could escape it.

Why do iPhone have a great sense of humor?

Because they crack up easily.

My parents are really mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and right

Bottom Text because you can't post title only jokes

I have a very dark sense of humor

Its so dark that cops are beating it to death.

I’ve never used my sense of touch.

What does it feel like?

You know what makes sense?

Perfume factories.

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A man goes for a prostate exam.

The doctor is checking him out when he finds a roll of $100 bills stuffed up his ass. He pulls out the money and counts it.

“You’re not gonna believe this, but I just found $1900 shoved up your ass!”

The man says, “Well that makes sense. That’s why I haven’t been feeling too grand.”

Common sense is like AIDS.

Some are born with it while others have to get it pounded into them.

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Calling your penis life makes sense.

You can say life is hard every morning jo matter how you feel

I have read that symptoms of the Covid19 virus can include loss of smell and taste. Well I don't know about your sense of smell....

But judging by your hair and clothes I think you might've had this disease for quite some time.

A mathematician arrives at work on a bike

His colleague asks "Where did you get the bike?"

"That's really curious. Imagine, I was walking down the road, suddenly that young woman comes along on this bike, jumps off, takes her dress off 'til she's naked and says "Take what you want". So I took the bike."

"Makes sense", his coll...

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A Marine returns from duty in Iraq and is immediately reassigned to a remote location in Afghanistan.

That evening he arrives at his new post; a run down mosque in the middle of nowhere.

As he switches over with the marine currently stationed there, he realises there is no bed, no clean water, no toilet, just him, his weapon and the dirt on the floor.

The next morning he wakes up to fi...

I had the greatest sense of a fulfilled purpose back in that marine corps.

*wait...stupid autocorrect...*

*scents *porpoise *corpse

A Chinese doctor can't find a job in a hospital in the US, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside that reads "GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100."



An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.

Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste."

Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth."

Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene."

Chinese: "Cong...

I've heard common sense has been lacking during the pandemic.

So I only tip in pennies now.

Due to COVID I’ve been reading article after article forwards and backwards trying to make sense of it all.

And I have to say, I still don’t know what DIVOC is going on

It's a sixth sense

I can usually tell how uncomfortable a person is just by hugging them for 18 minutes.

My wife and I share a sense of humor

We have to because she doesn't have one

That just makes a lot of sense

Did you know that the past tense of the word "read" is Reddit?

Looking for "A__is like a__, it__." For example: A dark sense of humor is like a make-a-wish child...

....It never grows old.

If you have one, please share. Joke, not make-a-wish child.

her: I'll have the salad, no nuts, please.

**waiter:** of course

**me:** it didn’t say it had nuts

**her:** I'm allergic, so I tell them to be safe

**me:** that makes sense

**waiter:** and for you?

**me:** steak, no bees, please.

The ending of Game of Thrones makes sense, think about it.

Arya went west, Jon went north, Drogon went east, and the show went south.

It makes sense that venice has been hit hard by the virus.

where else can you be guaranteed that they won't run out of face masks?

A man decides to start a business

He puts a billboard on the door saying "If we can cure you, you have to pay 100 dollars, if we can't you get 500 dollars"

A doctor sees the billboard and decides to get in and win 500 dollars.

He says that his sense of taste is gone.

The man says to his assistant: Can you please...

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A man was teaching his wife golf...

The wife struck the golf ball so hard that it went to the neighbours house and they heard a crash like it broke something.

Embarrassed and apologetic, they go over to the neighbours house and let themselves in.

They see a broken vase on the ground and a man standing near it.

...

A symptom of Covid-19 is losing your sense of taste

According to my wardrobe I've had it for years!

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Makes perfect sense to me that everyone is panic buying toilet roll because of the Coronavirus...

One sneeze and everyone shits themselves!

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It makes sense that the Right to Bear Arms is the 2nd amendment

If the 1st amendment is, “I should be able to say whatever the fuck I want”

Then it makes sense that the founding fathers said, “Oh ya, I should probably have a gun too”

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An half-japanese teenager, an Englishman with a huge sense of humour, an Egyptian who works as a fortune teller and a French guy walk into a bar and elder four ice teas.

It was very bizzare.

My lawyer has such a good sense of fashion, he wins every court case

He really puts on the best lawsuits.

I can sense when a room has been occupied in the past.

Someone has definitely just been in this bathroom.

My wife has NO sense of humor

I still thought "hi 'Drowning', I'm Dad!" was hilarious.

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I entered a gameshow to win a million dollars...

The gameshow required guessing the unknown using your five senses.

In round one, I stuck my hand into a covered box and guess what was inside by feel. Without hesitation I knew it was seaweed and tinfoil. I would know that feeling anywhere.

In round two, we were paired and had to guess...

So there is a Priest, a Rabbi, and an Atheist in a boat fishing.

The priest says "Oh heavens, I forgot my lures back on land" and steps out of the boat, walks across the water back to the land, and grabs his lures before walking back to the boat.

The atheist was astounded, but before he could make sense of the situation, the rabbi says "Oh Hashem help me, ...

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Roger was very thin because he was afraid to spend a lot of money on food. He looked forward to the day when his grandfather would die and leave him a fortune.

His grandfather was blessed with both a sense of humor and a sense of justice. So he planned that when he finally died all he would leave to Roger was a cookie.

But what a cookie.

It was made with butter, churned from milk from a yak milked by a virginal milkmaid on the highest field o...

What's a superhero with a bad sense of direction?

Wander Woman.

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Predators

According to recent research and common sense, humans are sexual by nature.

Humans are also on top of every food chain, and are considered predators.

So it is reasonable to believe that humans are sexual predators. The only difference is that I'm registered.

A man was being interviewed for job in the army

The general asks the man: We want a person with a suspicious mind, one who is always alert. Merciless and ready to attack. Someone who has an acute sense of hearing and has detective ability. And most importantly having a killer instinct!

So do you think you are eligible?

The man rep...

Three sons left home, went out into the business world and all prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.

The first said, "I built a big house for our mother." The second said, "I sent her a Lexus with a driver." The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You know how much Mom enjoys reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the enti...

What did Darth Vader say when he sensed Luke for the first time?

"I have a dad feeling about this."

An old lady is sitting with her doctor

“I’ve been having the most terrible flatulence, doctor. I just can’t stop passing gas. Luckily, they’re silent and they don’t smell at all. Why, you couldn’t tell but I’ve farted at least five or six times in the few minutes I’ve been here with you.”

The doctor pulled out his prescription pad...

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A man, an ostrich and a cat walk into a bar

A man walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat, the man says to the bartender "I'll have a pint of lager please"

The ostrich says "and I'll have the same"

The cat then says "Gin & tonic for me, but I'm not paying!"

The bartender looks a bit perplexed but announces ...

My printer just told me it was joining a band

Which makes sense.

It loves to jam.

The Sixth Sense really shocked me.

Bruce Willis with hair?!?!

A chemist, a biologist and a quantum physicist go surfing.

Having developed a paranoid sense for lab safety precautions, the chemist is worried about jumping into water with unknown impurities.

The biologist knows the local marine wildlife and assures him that the water is perfectly safe for living beings, with plenty of fishes and squids present. <...

Perfume commercials make no sense

They have no relation to the program or chanel

I swear

I went to US a few years ago and asked for directions to nearest gas station.

A dude comes up and says" Go straight for 3.5 football field and you will see there is a 4.2 washing machine wide road and 6.8 fridge wide road. Go in the fridge road and you will see the gas station after your c...

At His second coming to Earth, Jesus asks the people: "Do you know who I am?"

They responded: "You are the eschatological manifestation of the deepness of our being. You are the enigma that gives sense to all our interpersonal relationships. You are the cosmological fabric that keeps our minds and our world together."
Jesus goes "Wha..?"

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I used to love masturbating to the fact that I can see, hear, smell, touch, and taste.

Then I came to my senses.

New Covid Test

A new and easy self test for the horror of Covid 19 is doing the rounds and it's simple, quick and positive (or negative if you see what I mean).
Take a glass and pour a decent dram of your favorite whisky into it; then see if you can smell it. If you can, then you are halfway there.
Then dri...

Hey honey, what do you like the most in me? My beautiful face or my hot body?

\- Your sense of humor.

My wife hated that I didn’t have a sense of direction

So I packed my stuff up and right

Medical advances these days are absolutely crazy. They've found ways to activate taste buds in people who were born without the sense. Surprisingly most people don't like it at first.

Its an acquired taste.

A little British boy raises his hand to ask his teacher a question

"Miss, My mother says freedom is the most beautiful thing in the world. What does freedom mean?"

The teacher seeing the importance of this question for the sweet, innocent child, thinks quickly about how best to respond.

She smiles sweetly and says "Why don't you come up and tell the c...

Splitting 5 ways

2020 is all about splitting-in-5, TSLA, AAPL … if you split 2020 in 5 as well it is 404, which make sense as the entire year has been an error message..

Common sense

An uneducated father with his educated son went on a camping trip. They set-up their tent and fell asleep.
Some hours later, the father woke up his son.
Father- Look up to the sky and tell me what you see.
Son- I see millions of stars.
Father- And what does that tell you?
Son- Astrono...

How do dolphins get job satisfaction?

By working in positions that give them a sense of porpoise.

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