I asked my wife suggestions for an exercise routine, and she said, “Why don’t you try lunges?”

I said, “That sounds.....like a big step.”

My wisdom will kill me one day

I went to the liquor store yesterday on my bicycle, bought a bottle of whisky and put it in the bicycle basket

As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the whisky before I cycled home.

It turned out to be a very...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Google is a woman.

Cos it never lets you finish your sentence without offering a shit load of suggestions!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Suggestions for Tesla sentry mode...

(based on a thread over in r/TeslaMotors)

Tesla Sentry Mode is the name of the car's feature that detects when someone is near the car when it is parked; it saves video from that time period and notifies the owner how many incidents have occurred while s/he's been away from the car. It also p...

For weeks now Amazon has been sending me suggestions for random biscuits

Finally I logged in and updated my cookie preferences

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Jews hate the beer Jesus made?

Because it’s proof that Hebrewed it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Back in the day, a Minnesotian farmer visits the doctor...

He says: "Doc, I've got this problem and it's a little bit embarrasing and annoying."
"Oh", the doctor says. "Tell me what your issue is."

"Well", says the famer. " You see, I work in the fields and in the woods all day and when I get home in the evenings and can relax, I am just too tir...

Is Google male or female?

Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

At work today

At work today during our morning meeting. The owner wanted suggestions for a name for our finance department. Our finance department is the only department of our company that is entirely women.
I suggested The Home Office Executive Staff.

I have an appointment in HR in the morning.

Sent a couple of suggestions to a deodorant company this morning

Just putting my two scents in

Reddit rename suggestions

Rename share to spreddit, delete to shreddit, karma to creddit. The fact the they haven’t done this, I just don’t Greddit

i want to buy my girlfriend a present within 200$ on valentines day any suggestions?

i also need a girlfriend to give her the present and 200$

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A very depressed man goes to the proctologist

“Ya know doc, life seems harsh and cruel. I feel all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. I don’t know what to do.”

The doctor says, “Son, I don’t really know what to tell you, but I have a suggestion for some simple treatment... The great clown Pagliacci...

Paddy’s Suggestion

Paddy and Mick are blind drunk and going home from a night out and realize that they don’t have enough money for a taxi so they decide to go to the Bus Depot and steal a bus. … Mick breaks into the depot as Paddy stands as a lookout. …

After a while, Paddy decides to see what is keeping Mi...

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