My boyfriend likes to keep the house freezing. I hate it because I’m always cold, but he gave me a suggestion.

He said to stand in the corner since it’s usually 90 degrees over there.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bubba's secret!

One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named Bubba, comes in to pee.

The husband slyly looks over and is shocked at how immensely endowed Bubba is.

He can't help himself, and asks Bubba what his secret is.

"Well," s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady...

An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady, and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never reaches orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi. The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, ...

My wife is an economist and I am an engineer.

I was watching my wife make her breakfast one morning, and noticed that she made way too many trips to get each of the items she needed. So I said in my best engineer voice, “Hey sweetheart, why don’t you utilize the load maximization principle and carry all the items you need in one trip, thereby ...

I asked my wife for suggestions for a new exercise routine, and she said, “Why don’t you try lunges?”

I said, “That...sounds like a big step.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The man the woman and the tp

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper an...

I had a buddy in college who always gave us suggestions as to what booze or drugs to try.

He was the original trip advisor.

Ready For Vacation

Billy Bob and Lester were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob told Lester, "You know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your suggestions as to where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Through a poorly-worded genie wish, a man now has a 20-inch-long penis.

While the bragging rights were good for a few days, the man soon realizes that his dick is uncomfortable and unusable, and he must find a solution. He begins asking the local enchanters and witches if they have any suggestions, and finally gets a lead that the enchanted forest over yonder is home to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Use The Camel

Having joined the French Foreign Legion, Pierre focused on becoming the best soldier he could. Day in, day out he trained; long marches with full pack, hand to hand combat, shooting range etc... but even all this activity couldn't take away the yearning he had, after all he was a young viral man. T...

Does anyone have any suggestions for a name for a one-legged girl?

My wife is really against calling her Eileen.

A woman living on a shtetl in Poland goes to see her rabbi

"Rabbi!" she says. "My son Avram has a very strange fear - he is afraid of kreplach!"

The rabbi says, "Kreplach? He's afraid of the meat dumplings we make for Rosh Hashanah?"

She nods. "Yes. I've tried to tell him there's nothing to be afraid of, but whenever he sees kreplach he runs o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sheep shagging

An old Oxford professor is nearing retirement and decides that he wants to do something fun for once. He's spent his whole life researching scientific theories in his lab and wants to do something outside for a change, so he asks his assistant for a suggestion of something different to go and resear...

If we're saying Amen and Awomen now...

Are we going to start having to sing hymns and herns?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend isn't speaking to me after I gave him a Beatles suggestion.

He asked me what Beatles album he should pick up, and I told him "Dude, you need to get Help."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An ensign was spending his first few days aboard a submarine learning his duties and a litany of regulations.

His job was unusual, but simple; tend a pair of oxen in a miniature field on deck 7. The purpose of this agricultural endeavor was to see if crops might one day be grown inside a spaceship; a submarine was an adequate stand in.

He had never driven cattle before, but in short order, he got th...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.