This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Suggestions for Tesla sentry mode...

(based on a thread over in r/TeslaMotors)

Tesla Sentry Mode is the name of the car's feature that detects when someone is near the car when it is parked; it saves video from that time period and notifies the owner how many incidents have occurred while s/he's been away from the car. It also p...

Sent a couple of suggestions to a deodorant company this morning

Just putting my two scents in

For weeks now Amazon has been sending me suggestions for random biscuits

Finally I logged in and updated my cookie preferences

Is Google male or female?

Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Reddit rename suggestions

Rename share to spreddit, delete to shreddit, karma to creddit. The fact the they haven’t done this, I just don’t Greddit

i want to buy my girlfriend a present within 200$ on valentines day any suggestions?

i also need a girlfriend to give her the present and 200$

Paddy’s Suggestion

Paddy and Mick are blind drunk and going home from a night out and realize that they don’t have enough money for a taxi so they decide to go to the Bus Depot and steal a bus. … Mick breaks into the depot as Paddy stands as a lookout. …

After a while, Paddy decides to see what is keeping Mi...

Jim and Steve are die-hard capitalists...

They go for a stroll together through a cow pasture, and Jim tells Steve that he will give him $20,000 to eat a pile of cow flop. Steve considers the suggestion, says what the heck, and eats a pile. Jim, laughing, gives him the money, and they continue on their merry way.

After a few minutes,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

E.d. strikes again

A man was having problems with premature
ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor.
He asked the doctor what he could do to cure
his problem.
In response, the doctor said,
"When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate,
try startling yourself."
That same day the ...

What do you call an alien with only one eye?

What do you call an alien with one missing eye?

Alen

(My nephew helped me make this joke up many years ago,
we know the spelling is wrong.)

What do you call good suggestions given over the radio?

Sound advice.

I am 20 years old with a 60 years olds body

Any suggestions on burying a body

What was the only suggestion the orc had for the contractor who built his house?

Mordor

An 80yr old couple go to the doctors for a routine check up.

The doctor comes back with the results and says "Physically you are both fit as fiddles for your age. However mentally you are both beginning to lose it a bit. My suggestion for now is write things down when you think of them, that way you can keep on top of your to-do's".

So they go home, re...

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