Does anyone have any suggestions for a name for a one-legged girl?

My wife is really against calling her Eileen.

I am not very political but it seem to me that Trump's suggestion to drink Chlorox bleach...

is grounds for Imbleachment.

After I ran out of toilet paper, a friend suggested using pages from an old book

That worked OK I guess, but now I'm looking for suggestions to clean a Kindle.

I asked my wife suggestions for an exercise routine, and she said, “Why don’t you try lunges?”

I said, “That sounds.....like a big step.”

Q: Is Google male or female?

A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

A 13 year old boy has difficulty with mathematics, failing in public school.

His parents were not religious but after a friend's suggestion they felt a private Catholic school may be more effective. His grades began to rise dramatically after this switch. Asked what has helped him so much, he responded

"When I saw the guy nailed to the plus sign I knew they meant busi...

My wisdom will kill me one day

I went to the liquor store yesterday on my bicycle, bought a bottle of whisky and put it in the bicycle basket

As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the whisky before I cycled home.

It turned out to be a very...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Suggestions for Tesla sentry mode...

(based on a thread over in r/TeslaMotors)

Tesla Sentry Mode is the name of the car's feature that detects when someone is near the car when it is parked; it saves video from that time period and notifies the owner how many incidents have occurred while s/he's been away from the car. It also p...

Joe is on his last day at work as a mailman.

He receives many thank-you cards and monetary gifts along his route. When he gets to the very last house, he is greeted by a gorgeous housewife, who invites him in for lunch. Joe happily accepts. After lunch, the woman invites him up to the bedroom for some "desert." Joe happily accepts again. When ...

For weeks now Amazon has been sending me suggestions for random biscuits

Finally I logged in and updated my cookie preferences

I am often asked, "Is google a man or a women?"

My simple answer is: It's a woman because it won't let you finish your sentence without making a suggestion.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Google is a woman.

Cos it never lets you finish your sentence without offering a shit load of suggestions!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Got into a fight in a bar

Met some new people at the bar and tried to break the ice with some jokes.


Went well, till I went to the more offensive ones. Here's the joke I told:

*"What do you do if you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Throw your laundry in."*

One guy goes crazy and h...

Why was the iPhone wearing glasses?

It lost all its contacts.





Part of my WFH agreement is that I have to check in with my Director (I'm IT PM) every day, so rather than just saying "morning - I'm on!" I am sending her a silly IT joke :D Any good suggestions?

You know you’ve been in quarantine long enough when..

Your Siri maps suggestion says “8 seconds to the living room!”

Reddit rename suggestions

Rename share to spreddit, delete to shreddit, karma to creddit. The fact the they haven’t done this, I just don’t Greddit

An Anagram for "Covid Self Quarantine is........

"Advance Finest Liquor". A great suggestion, count me in!

i want to buy my girlfriend a present within 200$ on valentines day any suggestions?

i also need a girlfriend to give her the present and 200$

Sent a couple of suggestions to a deodorant company this morning

Just putting my two scents in

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