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Conceit Jokes

Dave was a cannibal, and a conceited one at that.

So when he was in a bad car accident, the people of his town weren’t very sympathetic. But when they learned that he died, they softened up a bit. “I didn’t know that his injuries were life threatening,” one of his neighbors said. Another replied that they weren’t. “Well then how did he die?” th...

Did you hear about the conceited, cannibalistic lion?

He swallowed his pride.

A judge called me egotistical and conceited

I think I'm appealing

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A conceited man

And a conceited woman were having sex. The conceited woman said "Aren't I tight?"
Conceited man said," Nope, just full,"

Wh did people in the NBA think Michael Jordan was conceited?

Because he was always putting on Airs.

Sometimes I wonder if the entire world is full of defensive, conceited douchebags who can't laugh at themselves...

Then I read some Reddit comments and I'm almost certain of it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

two conceited people having sex...

...girl says "tight, huh?" guy replys "nah, just full"

Have you ever met a fractal? They're so conceited.

I mean, they're so full of themselves.

As I was telling my grandfather goodnight over the phone, he proceeded to tell me "the height of conceit."

Which in his own words:

"You know the height of conceit son? A flea floating on his back down a river, sporting a hard-on, yelling 'OPEN THE DRAWBRIDGE' "

That man.

My best friend Mat and I were captured by wild Indians

We pleaded and begged that they let us go. They finally conceited to allow Mat to take three trials. Ahead of us were three tepees. The chief told us the first had five barrels of fire water Mat must drink. The second had a grizzly bear with a wicked tooth ache, Mat must pull it's bad tooth. The thi...

Trump's Conceded!!!

Sorry, typo. He is conceited.

Trees

I accidentally posted this to the Reddit subgroup "funny". Hopefully I have the right spot now!

Two trees are growing up side by side in the forest one is a birch tree, and one is a beech tree. They are so conceited, theyrarely noticed the rest of the forest around them. Until one day, they l...

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