A judge called me egotistical and conceited

I think I'm appealing

Did you hear about the conceited, cannibalistic lion?

He swallowed his pride.

Sometimes I wonder if the entire world is full of defensive, conceited douchebags who can't laugh at themselves...

Then I read some Reddit comments and I'm almost certain of it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A conceited man

And a conceited woman were having sex. The conceited woman said "Aren't I tight?"
Conceited man said," Nope, just full,"

As I was telling my grandfather goodnight over the phone, he proceeded to tell me "the height of conceit."

Which in his own words:

"You know the height of conceit son? A flea floating on his back down a river, sporting a hard-on, yelling 'OPEN THE DRAWBRIDGE' "

That man.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

two conceited people having sex...

...girl says "tight, huh?" guy replys "nah, just full"

Have you ever met a fractal? They're so conceited.

I mean, they're so full of themselves.

My best friend Mat and I were captured by wild Indians

We pleaded and begged that they let us go. They finally conceited to allow Mat to take three trials. Ahead of us were three tepees. The chief told us the first had five barrels of fire water Mat must drink. The second had a grizzly bear with a wicked tooth ache, Mat must pull it's bad tooth. The thi...

Trump's Conceded!!!

Sorry, typo. He is conceited.

Why hasn’t Trump conceded yet?

Because he’s already conceited

Trees

I accidentally posted this to the Reddit subgroup "funny". Hopefully I have the right spot now!

Two trees are growing up side by side in the forest one is a birch tree, and one is a beech tree. They are so conceited, theyrarely noticed the rest of the forest around them. Until one day, they l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man who was born with three testicles

Was extremely proud and conceited with what he regarded as the equivalent of winning the genetic lottery, in an act to flaunt and put to shame others he would sit regularly outside of his house and ask each passerby.

Man: do you know the sum of your balls and mine.
Passerby (perplexed) : w...

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