The 13+ Best Implication Jokes

People are getting upset about the implications of a "cashless society".

I'm not sure what they're worried about I've been cashless for years.

Two Rabbis are having lunch together…

The first one says “You won’t believe the terrible thing that’s happened! My son, he left home and became a Christian!”

The other Rabbi says “It’s funny you should mention this! My son, he also left home and now is Christian!”

They can’t believe the exact same thing has happened to bo...

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I used to bartend for this popular place off a rural highway in my state…

I used to bartend for this popular place off a rural highway in my state. It marketed itself as a tavern, to get tourists to come in and buy a bite to eat, but the locals knew it by the name of the former owner, Pete.

Pete had died a few years before I started working there. His younger broth...

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot with a sign on the cage that said $50

‘Why so little?’ she asked the pet store owner.
The pet store owner looked at her and said ‘Look, I should tell you first this bird used to live in a house of prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.’
The woman thought about it and decided to have the bird anyway.
She to...

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A Russian soldier is assigned to the training exercise

A Russian soldier is assigned to a squad near the front of the training exercise to replace a fallen komrat. He is warned that the training is hard with many death, and the squad members are a bit excentric, so he should just try to fit in.

He arrives to a camp of about 10 men and a cou...

So aliens from Mars comes down to Earth...

...And they're friendly! The leaders of the world and the aliens plan a huge televised event where the leaders can ask questions on whatever they want.

During this event, the pope is up to talk to the aliens.

"I know this question may sound odd to you gentlemen," the pope starts to ask...

In the City of Loafington, there lived a superhero named Wonderbread.

Wonderbread was, predictably, a superhero with bread-themed powers. He could beat up a gang with a baguette, trap someone in a giant pita, or cushion someone's fall with swiftly-rising dough. He was beloved by all in the city, for his escapades had the lovely side-effect of feeding the entire city f...

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A man is found guilty & sent to prison

He's a slight man, with a short, thin, scrawny frame, & the prison assigns him to a cell with a 6'8" 325lb muscular man named Tyrone who looks absolutely terrifying.

The new inmate avoids looking at his frightening cellmate, so Tyrone decides to break the ice and in a very intimidating vo...

Corny joke

So a local state corn production and manufacturing company had an open house complete with free samples of their in house sweets and confectionery made from their finest corn.

The reception was fantastic and everything was going great, until one of the over zealous freeloaders (you know the ...

My cousin said he "dips his pen into the company ink"

That carries some serious implications on the family farm.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side is the most common answer, however this answer leaves a great deal of room for interpretation. As noted historian and sociologist Ian Ormwell stated, "A joke cannot be taken at face value; all jests are subjective in their appearance and impact." Contrasting this view, the p...

Some first year uni students come home in the holiday for a surprise maths test of 'What's 2 + 2?'

The engineer says 'well it's 3.75, but given the situation we can round it to 5'

The mathematician goes and works for a while, then comes back saying 'I don't know what the answer is, but I know one exists'

The astrophysicist says 'rounding to the nearest million the answer would be 0'...

Thanksgiving Special

Three guys visit a hooker on Thanksgiving Day.
"How much do you charge?" They ask.
"Thanksgiving Special today only! $10 an inch." She replies.

The first guy takes his turn, comes back out and says, "That was $75 well spent!"

The second guy takes his turn and comes bac...

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