I can’t believe it’s been more than 100 years since Einstein proposed The Theory of Relativity.

Feels like only yesterday.

Was Einstein's theory good?

Relatively.

What's the difference between Blizzard's dignity and Flat Earth Theory?

Some people still manage to believe in Flat Earth Theory.

Einstein developed a theory about space.

And boy, it was about time, too!

What do you get when you cross Big Bang Theory, 2 and a half men and How I met your mother?

How I banged your mother with 2 and a half men

My flat earther friend decided to prove his theory by walking to the end of the world

In the end, he came around.

Upon reexamination, groundbreaking research suggests a new theory of dinosaur extinction

Traffic accidents. Amongst the thousands of dinosaurs unearthed, not one has been found wearing a seat belt.

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Each of the polymaths was a leading figure in a different field of mathematics, and each pursued and studied a different style of painting. Together, they decided that if they co...

Not many people can tell you about both rock theory and astrophysics ...

But if you ask him nicely, Bryan May

Word has it Matt Damon will reprise his role as a CIA assassin, but this time he'll pretend to be a physicist specializing in scattering theory.

Title: "The Bourne Approximation"

An old joke from Isaac Asimov(fairly long).

As is well known, in this thirtieth century of ours, space travel is fearfully dull and time-consuming. In search of diversion, many crew Members defy the quarantine restrictions and pick up pets from the various habitable worlds they explore.

Jim Sloane had a rockette, which he called Teddy....

A chemistry professor posted a bonus question to an exam:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know ...

Stephen Hawking was a master at the violin

He had an adept understanding of string theory

During a conversation a friend brings up his theory about how the moon landings were faked. I give him a concerned look.

I say “you believe in the moon?”

According to Einstein's Theory of General Relativity...

Everyone is attracted to you. At least a little bit.

#2857: Two priests are in a shower.

They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.

Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress.

He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, while he is halfway down the hall when he sees three newly inducted nuns from o...

Scientists have a new theory on how the first laxative was discovered.

It was an accident.

“Dad” says son, “what’s the difference between theory and reality”?

“I’ll explain” says Dad. “MOTHER! Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?”

“Yes I would” says mother, giggling.

“DAUGHTER! Would you sleep with Harry Styles for a million bucks?”

“Yes I would” she says, blushing.

“There you go son” says Dad. “Theoretically we ...

Flat Earth theory debunked

We can say with certainty that the Earth is not flat because if it was cats would have tossed everything off the edge already.

Can conspiracy theorists win a Nobel Prize?

They already have a Theory of Everything.

Someone asked me if I would bet on Sigmund Freud's psychoanalytic theory of personalityl

I replied I'm all Id

Interviewer: what inspired your theory on gravity?

Newton: well, I fell off the toil—...............
Agent [leans into the mic]: an apple fell on his head...

James Charles has just created a large and complex theory regarding the origins of the universe.

*And thats the-sis*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Driving home after a hard day at work, a man gets pulled over by a cop. His patience is wearing thin.

"Tell me, officer: would it be a crime for me to insult you? Hypothetically speaking, of course - I think the police are wonderful - but in theory, could you arrest me if I said you were a cunt?"

"Yes sir. That would count as disorderly conduct."

"What about if I were just to think it?...

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A female journalist is taking a tour of a new science facility.

Scientist: Here at our lab we've been testing what would happen to GMO foods if, instead of producing foods with genes intended for fast production, we could develop GMO foods into potentially another form of species.

Journalist: That's interesting what foods have you tested this on?

...

There is a conspiracy theory that claims Princess Diana was on the radio after her reported death.

I'd like to confirm this was completely true, she WAS on the radio, and the dashboard, the steering wheel, the back of the seats and the windscreen.

What does the theory of the beginning of the universe and your conception have in common?

A Big Bang

Gravity is a conspiracy theory.

It's just another way for The Man to keep you down.

Today I turned in my rough draft of a paper on Darwin’s theory.

The teacher said it would be decent with modification.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kid asks his father the difference between theory and fact,

The father thinks for a bit and tells his son that he can't explain it very well but he can give a very simple example. The father instructs his son to ask his mother and sister if they were willing to sleep with a man for 1 million dollars.

The son does as told and return to his father with ...

I have this crazy conspiracy theory about wells.

Its pretty deep.

I have a theory that if something works optimally, it HAS to be inside a fish.

Everything that's outside a fish wouldn't work the way it should, because it's inafishn't.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a scientist

That claimed that all ants are constipated.
A tabloid sent a reporter to investigate his claims.
The reporter traveled miles and miles and reached his expedition in the Amazon, finding him surrounded by students looking in awe at him picking ants off a colony.

The journalist respectfull...

Einstein: Dad, my paper on the Theory of Relativity finally got published!!

Einstein’s Dad: Damn son, it’s about time!

Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.

To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, and refused to apologize when wrong.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A doctor assembled a large auditorium of people.

He says thank you for join me today, I’m going to ask you personal questions as a group, this is for a study of mine please be honest and don’t be shy.

How many people have sex everyday? The people who raised their hands where happy good looking and seemed to be doing great in there lives....

String theory might be the answer to everything...

...but then again, it might knot.

I have a conspiracy theory...

The government is spreading false rumors that aluminum-foil hats protect your brain from being scanned. aluminum foil is actually an antenna that allows them to get a better signal.

There's a theory that people don't see the exact same colors

Does that mean
*color is a pigment of you imagination*

huehuehuehue

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Did you know that Einstein married his Cousin

Did you know that Einstein married his Cousin,
Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage failed in 1919.?

At the time he stated that he was attracted to Elsa "because she was so well endowed".

He postulated that if you are attracted to women with large mammary glands, the attraction...

Took me a month but I finally got to pull off this joke in real life

*Me and my friend had just finished watching a ton of conspiracy theory videos.*

Friend: It's crazy if some of that stuff is true. But the government is just hiding it from us.

Me: Yeah like monsters and aliens and stuff.

Friend: Yeah! And not to mention all the cool technology ...

What do you call an Applied Mathematician's favorite field?

Knot Theory, because it's Knot... Theory.

A conspiracy theorist who doesn't believe in Zeus walks out into a field during a thunderstorm wearing his tinfoil hat to test his theory.

Needless to say, he was shocked when he learned the truth.

A detective and his partner were tracking a thief--their two suspects were an Eskimo and a Canadian.

The detective had told his partner he knew it was the Eskimo, but he didn't have any hard evidence to support his theory.

Finally, at a stakeout, they caught the criminal in the act--and sure enough, as they emerged from the shadows, the perpetrator was the Eskimo. Vindicated, the detective...

New Conspiracy Theory about 9/11

So, if you convert 9/11 into a decimal, you get 0.8181818181818181818181818181.... going on forever. What's the eighth letter of the alphabet? H. What's the first letter of the alphabet? A. That's right, ladies and germs. The Joker did 9/11.

A new conspiracy theory states Priness Diana was actually on the radio shortly after the supposed accident that killed her.

And the windshield, and the dashboard...

^^^^I ^^^^made ^^^^myself ^^^^sad

Why did the political theory class think their teacher was being unfair?

He gave the whole class the same Marx

Stephen Hawking’s final theory, written just before he died, was released yesterday.

It's about time

At one time a falling Apple lead to the Theory of Gravity

Now it's just a broken iPhone

Hanging a Beggar is good in theory, but...

Is actually just Poor Execution

The guillotine was decent in theory

But amazing in execution.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Male sexbots are an interesting concept in theory

Until you try one and you lose him because he nuts and bolts

Theory of Jumping Fleas

A lunatic asylum inmate amused himself by placing the pet flea on his left hand and on the command "Jump, Freddie, jump", the insect would leap to his right hand.

This game helped the poor man to pass away the mindless hours but one day he produced a tiny pair of scissors and proceeded to cut...

What's the difference between theory and practice?

In theory, there *is* no difference.

So, have you guys heard of a chicken cannon?

Used by US Federal Aviation Administration, it's a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane’s windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies.



The theory is that if the windshield doesn’t crac...

There is a conspiracy theory that ALCOA and Planters secretly control the world.

Maybe you've heard of the AlumaNutty?

An awkward friend of mine just finished his PhD in palindrome theory..

Now he's Dr. Awkward.

If I recall correctly, in the mid 1900s, Albert Einstein proposed a new theory on space,

and it was about time, too.

I think my communist theory test was rigged

Everyone got the same marx

I have a new theory on inertia

But it is not gaining any momentum.

A base-12 number system is good in theory

but it dozen stand a chance in practice.

So my buddy is this crazy conspiracy theory type...

The other day, he was trying to convince me that coneheaded aliens actually exist.

I admit, I was skeptical at first. But then I saw his point.

I hear things are better in Theory.

Where is Theory? I'd like to move there.

Relativity theory

In classical (Newtonian) physics, we can't solve the three-body problem. In the theory of relativity, we can't solve the two-body problem. In quantum mechanics, we can't solve the one-body problem, and with quantum electro dynamics, we don't even understand the vacuum anymore.

Communism is like a smart but unskilled piano player.

Good in theory but bad in practice.

Why didn't set theory become a branch of mathematics until the mid 1800's?

Before then, the only legal union was between man and woman.

A teacher asked her students: “when you go to heaven, which part of your spiritual body goes first?”

A teacher asked her students: “when you go to heaven, which part of your spiritual body goes first?”

Little Anna raised her finger.

“Yes Anna?”

“I think the hands go first”, she said.

“Why is that?”, asked the teacher.

“Because, when people pray, they raise thei...

Why will the flat earth theory never be popular?

Because they can't spread the word around

Some people say that The Big Bang Theory disproves God...

I mean, sure, it's not the best show, but I wouldn't go *that* far.

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