What’s the difference between the truth and a conspiracy theory?

About 6-12 months.

My theory in why gordon Ramsey's kids aremt his

Because he doesnt like it raw

According to the Big Bang Theory the universe began in Arizona

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state

Was Einstein's theory good?

Relatively

The difference between theory & reality.

A boy was given a essay to write about the difference between theory and reality.

Struggling to come up with a explanation he asked his dad who said to him that he could lend a hand with this one.

The father told him "go find your mother and ask her if she would sleep with the window c...

My favourite conspiracy theory is ...

That everything is going to be ok.

Einstein developed a theory about space...

And it was about time too.

Erectile Dysfunction

On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife.

The certificate was for a consultation with an traditional healer, who was well known to have a very good naturopathic cure for erectile dysfunction!

As he despised western medicine, believing the conspiracy theo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You’ve heard of the theory of the famous Cocktail dress? Two vodkas and it’s off. But have you heard of the American dress?

One yank and it’s down

The only conspiracy theory I believe in is the one about Barbie's boyfriend disappearing in the woods

Kentrails

The history of boy bands proves the theory of evolution

They all descended from The Monkees.

Anyone want to help start a new conspiracy theory themed cafeteria style restaurant?

We’ll call it “Queue A Nom Nom”

My brother is a big believer in Flat Earth Theory

but he is starting to come around.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have this theory about my sex life lately

Actually, it’s more of a hypothesis since I have no physical evidence to suggest it even exists.

Hand lotion!

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.

Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to the showers.
<...

A chemistry professor posted a bonus question to an exam:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couples therapist believes the amount of sex you have is directly related to happiness, so he decides to test his theory at his next seminar.

He addresses the crowd in attendance and asks "How many couples here tonight have sex once a day?"

To the therapists delight, about half of the crowd raise their hands with wide, toothy grins across their faces.

The therapist then asks "How many have sex once a week?"

Roughly a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Big Bang Theory

# Some Background Info

The TV show "The Big Bang Theory" was created by Chuck Lorre. At the end of each episode he inserted a one screen humorous comment.

While season 4 was being produced, the lead actress had a horseback riding accident unrelated to the show which caused her a broke...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sitting on a cloud in Heaven, Einstein tries to explain Hitler relativity theory. When finished, Einstein asks Hitler "Did you get me?"

"No," replies Hitler, "you died of old age."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A professor was teaching the theory of relativity...

when a late student came into class.

The student asked, "what did I miss?"

"it's about damn time." The professor replied.

Birthing theories

3 guys were in a waiting room, their wives in labour.

The first man gets called in. He comes out later and tells the others that it was a boy. He laughs and says "geez I think I got a boy because I was on top at that magic moment".

The second man gets called in, and sometime later, he...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The theory of evolution states that all species are related to a common ancestor

So no officer I dont think its "disgusting" that I'm dating a raccoon

I'm very good at math I can do number theory, combinatorics, but I cant bring myself to do graphs

That's where I draw the line

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The testicle theory

If you got 1 testicle you have a condition
If you have 2 testicles your normal
If you have 3 your superman
If you find 4 then wake up ya idiot your uncle bob is in town

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A product manager was asked by his son about his work. The father says, "My job is all about the difference between theory and practice." The child didn't understand, so the father said, "Let me give you an example:"

"Go ask your sister if she'd sleep with the neighbor for £1M". Kid goes, returns & says "she's not too happy to but she will for times are tough."

Then the father said: "Now go ask your mom that question" so the child goes, returns and says: "Mom's is not too happy to sleep with the neigh...

How many redditors does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

17 purists who use candles and...

Difficult questions

A son asks his dad "Daddy, what is string theory?"

The dad replied "Why are you asking me such difficult questions, come on ask me something easier"

The son then asks "Um ok so why does mommy get mad sometimes?"

"String theory is a theoretical framework in which the point-like p...

My dad finally woke up from his conspiracy theory and realized that cyanide couldn’t kill the coronavirus.

It was a hard pill to swallow

There's a quantum observation theory where only police have consciousness

cop didn't see it I didn't do it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy asks his dad about the difference between theory and practice.

So the dad tells him to go and ask his sister, mother, and grandmother whether or not they would be willing to sleep with a man for 1 million dollars.

The boy asks his grandmother who says "for much less"

Then his mother who says "beats sleeping with that broke son of a bitch you call ...

I can’t believe it’s been more than 100 years since Einstein proposed The Theory of Relativity.

Feels like only yesterday.

Upon reexamination, groundbreaking research suggests a new theory of dinosaur extinction

Traffic accidents. Amongst the thousands of dinosaurs unearthed, not one has been found wearing a seat belt.

My flat earther friend decided to prove his theory by walking to the end of the world

In the end, he came around.

Einstein: Dad, my paper on the Theory of Relativity finally got published!!

Einstein’s Dad: Damn son, it’s about time!

Flat Earth theory debunked

We can say with certainty that the Earth is not flat because if it was cats would have tossed everything off the edge already.

What do you get when you cross Big Bang Theory, 2 and a half men and How I met your mother?

How I banged your mother with 2 and a half men

Would it have been possible to avoid the disaster of Chernobyl?

In theory yes, but those damn Swedes couldn't keep their mouth shut.

Why does Pinocchio hate learning about physics?

It’s all about string theory nowadays

According to Einstein's Theory of General Relativity...

Everyone is attracted to you. At least a little bit.

What's the difference between Blizzard's dignity and Flat Earth Theory?

Some people still manage to believe in Flat Earth Theory.

There is a conspiracy theory that claims Princess Diana was on the radio after her reported death.

I'd like to confirm this was completely true, she WAS on the radio, and the dashboard, the steering wheel, the back of the seats and the windscreen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The only thing that matters about penis size is how it compares to your significant other's past lovers.

It's the theory of genital relativity.

Scientists have a new theory on how the first laxative was discovered.

It was an accident.

I have a conspiracy theory...

The government is spreading false rumors that aluminum-foil hats protect your brain from being scanned. aluminum foil is actually an antenna that allows them to get a better signal.

There's a theory that people don't see the exact same colors

Does that mean
*color is a pigment of you imagination*

huehuehuehue

I have a theory that if something works optimally, it HAS to be inside a fish.

Everything that's outside a fish wouldn't work the way it should, because it's inafishn't.

Hanging a Beggar is good in theory, but...

Is actually just Poor Execution

Word has it Matt Damon will reprise his role as a CIA assassin, but this time he'll pretend to be a physicist specializing in scattering theory.

Title: "The Bourne Approximation"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kid asks his father the difference between theory and fact,

The father thinks for a bit and tells his son that he can't explain it very well but he can give a very simple example. The father instructs his son to ask his mother and sister if they were willing to sleep with a man for 1 million dollars.

The son does as told and return to his father with ...

During a conversation a friend brings up his theory about how the moon landings were faked. I give him a concerned look.

I say “you believe in the moon?”

String theory might be the answer to everything...

...but then again, it might knot.

“Dad” says son, “what’s the difference between theory and reality”?

“I’ll explain” says Dad. “MOTHER! Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?”

“Yes I would” says mother, giggling.

“DAUGHTER! Would you sleep with Harry Styles for a million bucks?”

“Yes I would” she says, blushing.

“There you go son” says Dad. “Theoretically we ...

Not many people can tell you about both rock theory and astrophysics ...

But if you ask him nicely, Bryan May

Interviewer: what inspired your theory on gravity?

Newton: well, I fell off the toil—...............
Agent [leans into the mic]: an apple fell on his head...

James Charles has just created a large and complex theory regarding the origins of the universe.

*And thats the-sis*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Driving home after a hard day at work, a man gets pulled over by a cop. His patience is wearing thin.

"Tell me, officer: would it be a crime for me to insult you? Hypothetically speaking, of course - I think the police are wonderful - but in theory, could you arrest me if I said you were a cunt?"

"Yes sir. That would count as disorderly conduct."

"What about if I were just to think it?...

Why did the political theory class think their teacher was being unfair?

He gave the whole class the same Marx

The guillotine was decent in theory

But amazing in execution.

Today I turned in my rough draft of a paper on Darwin’s theory.

The teacher said it would be decent with modification.

A new conspiracy theory states Priness Diana was actually on the radio shortly after the supposed accident that killed her.

And the windshield, and the dashboard...

^^^^I ^^^^made ^^^^myself ^^^^sad

Gravity is a conspiracy theory.

It's just another way for The Man to keep you down.

Relativity theory

In classical (Newtonian) physics, we can't solve the three-body problem. In the theory of relativity, we can't solve the two-body problem. In quantum mechanics, we can't solve the one-body problem, and with quantum electro dynamics, we don't even understand the vacuum anymore.

If I recall correctly, in the mid 1900s, Albert Einstein proposed a new theory on space,

and it was about time, too.

A conspiracy theorist who doesn't believe in Zeus walks out into a field during a thunderstorm wearing his tinfoil hat to test his theory.

Needless to say, he was shocked when he learned the truth.

I have a new theory on inertia

But it is not gaining any momentum.

New Conspiracy Theory about 9/11

So, if you convert 9/11 into a decimal, you get 0.8181818181818181818181818181.... going on forever. What's the eighth letter of the alphabet? H. What's the first letter of the alphabet? A. That's right, ladies and germs. The Joker did 9/11.

Stephen Hawking’s final theory, written just before he died, was released yesterday.

It's about time

Probability theory

Probability theory is probably the least understood area by the general population (except for certain gamblers). As a simple example, consider the History Professor friend of mine who was scared of flying and asked me one day: "What is the probability that there will be a bomb on an airplane?" I re...

What's the difference between theory and practice?

Well, in theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.