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Figment Jokes

One hobbit asks another: "Don't you feel like we're just a figment of someone's imagination?"

"Mate I have no idea what you're tolkien about"

Sisters

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It says, 'Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution 15 mi.’

He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought.

Soon, he sees another sign tha...

What do my dreams and my girlfriend have in common?

They're just a figment of my imagination...

I could have sworn I saw fig flavored altoids the other day..

must have been a figment of my imagination.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Freudian slips

Are just a figment of peoples ejaculation.

Lawyer Riddle

A high priced lawyer, a low priced lawyer and the tooth fairy are sitting at a table. There is a $20 bill in the middle of the table. All of a sudden, the lights in the room go off. When they come back on, the $20 bill is gone. Who took it?


The high priced lawyer, because the low priced l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three construction workers are building a brick wall in the middle of a swamp.

During a break, the first man, Joe, says, "Let's have a brick throwing competition. Whoever can throw his brick the highest wins!"

"That sounds like fun; I'm in!" Replied the second man, Tom.

"But how will we measure who's goes the highest?" inquired Jim, the third man.

"Simple,...

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