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Memberships Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman with no arms and no legs was lying on the beach...

A woman with no arms and no legs was lying on the beach as a fit, handsome man walked by.

"Sir," she said, "Would you do me a favor? I'm very lonely here. Would you give me a hug?"

"Certainly," he said, and knelt down to give her a hug.

She blushed and said, "That was wonderful....

Usain Bolt retires from running...

He has been bored and looking in to a new sport to take up. He’s looking through his newspaper when he sees an advert for a new golf course in his home town. He takes a walk down and asks the receptionist about signing up.

Usain Bolt “Hi, I’m here to see about joining your new golf course” ...

I caught two bears banging around in the dumpster behind my house last night.

Apparently, their gym memberships expired.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For my New Year’s resolution, I decided to join a gym to improve my sexual stamina.

Turns out none of them offer 60 seconds a month memberships.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

That Ol' Gloria (NSFW)

Gloria was not a pretty woman. She had never been in love and only rarely had laid with a man. Alone by the time of her 55th birthday, her only accomplishments in life were a storied golf career and her many rescued cats. Sadly, in her misery and depression, Gloria took her own life. Written in her ...

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