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Commitment Jokes

I have a problem with commitment

Never mind that joke is lame anyway

As part of its commitment to environmentalism...

Texas is committing to executing people via electric chairs powered only by wind turbines and solar panels.

commitment issues

Doctor: You might have a phobia of marriage. Do you think you have the symptoms?

Man: Can’t say I do.

Doctor: Yes. That’s the main one.

I've got awful commitment issues

I couldn't commit to a suicide attempt to save my life

What's a real commitment to dying?

Deadication

I have a joke about commitment

Steve was deeply committed to playing golf. Ever day, seven days a week, fifty two weeks a year. After several years went by, Steve was still playing golf. As he was about to putt the ball in the hole. He notice a funeral procession going by. He then took off his hat and gave a moment of silence for...

I shouldn’t have bought balloons from a salesman with commitment issues.

There were no strings attached.

The cleaning lady at my office invited me to go smoke weed after work, but I told her no

I made a commitment to myself to avoid high maintenance women

We’ve been trying to organize a Fear of Commitment workshop.

But we just can’t seem to nail down a date.

Marriage means commitment.

Of course, so does insanity.

My girlfriend says I'm scared of commitment

Well, she's not really my girlfriend...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the difference between participation and commitment?

A chicken participates in breakfast. A pig is committed to it.

Some of my friends are really hurtful. I feel like many of them don't understand the meaning of the word "commitment".

I've invited them to four of my weddings in the past two years and they haven't attended any of them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

*After Breakup due to commitment issues*

Girlfriend : You're an unreliable pathetic fuck. I'm leaving! Bye!
Me : Can't say adieu.

I'm dressing up as Commitment this halloween

Well everyone's afraid of it.

What do you call a fruit who's afraid of commitment?

A can't-elope

The CIA was recruiting new agents

As a test of commitment they brought a man to a door and gave him a gun. He was told his wife was in the next room and his first test was to go in and shoot his wife. The man was shocked and said he would never shoot his wife for anyone.He was sent home.

A second man was brought to the same r...

People say I lack the commitment to finish anything, and they might be right.

Because right now, I just don't care enough to

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a woman that tries to force you into commitment?

A booby trap

What plant bears fruit & is afraid of lifelong commitment?

Cantaloupe

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