Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines?

Because they have a supreme ruler

North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world, because they're brainwashed by the government and media

But every American knows that America is the best country in the world

I asked my North Korean friend, “what’s it like to live in North Korea?”

He responded, “can’t complain.”

Why do North Koreans hate jazz music?

They don't have Seoul.

BREAKING: North Korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery.

They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive

A North Korean Soldier Walks Into A Bar

The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The North Korean soldier replies, "Can't complain!"

North Korean leader can't be dead

It's kimposible!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian.....

.... an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Camer...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Jong-un has unfortunately died and the North Korean subordinates gathered for a serious meeting.

After hours of discussion, they decided it'd be best to replace him with a look alike to fool the foreign leaders. A Kim Jong-un look alike contest was organised and the winner was to be selected to rule Korea.

Fliers and posters of the contest was all over North Korea and a majority of the...

A North Korean man is walking home

A North Korean man is walking along the road when he spots a fish caught in the reeds. Excitedly, he scooped it up and ran home.

"Look what I found!" he says, revealing his treasure to his wife, "Quick heat the oil"

"But husband, the police confiscated the oil! They said subversives co...

My dad was Korean and my mom was Mexican

Hi, I am Guacamo Lee

There's a rumour that North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un is dead.

But personally, I think he's just Kim Jong Un-well

What’s the difference between North Korea and the US?

North Koreans can’t tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can’t tell if their leader is dead serious.

My Korean friend died yesterday

He was Sou Yung

My girlfriend is a half-Korean

Her mom is Korean and her dad is Korean and her legs got ripped off in a car accident.

Why did the north Korean flea to South Korea?

To find his Seoul mate

It’s 1953 and a Korean military general says...

I think I need a korea-change.

I wrote to my North Korean penpal asking how things were in his country

He wrote back "I can't complain"

A poor South Korean man decided to join the military

He really did not want to join the military because he knew his wife was a loose woman, but he had no other choice.

After his posting of 6 months at the North Korean border, he comes back to his house only to see his wife ditch him for another man.

Really upset about the fact that serv...

Why are American school kids the second best FPS gamers next to Koreans?

Because they learned how to dodge bullets in real life

A Korean man is wanted for questioning after his wife was found dead in their family home.

He is the Seoul suspect.

Loved the Korean zombie movie "Train to Busan" and can't wait for it's sequel to come out?

Then catch a train to Wuhan.

Here's a joke I made up... What does a North Korean ricochet sound like?

PYONG! YANG!

I'm sorry.

Tragically, my Korean friend passed away this morning.

He was So Yung.

A North Korean Judge walks out of the courtroom, laughing his head off

His friend approaches him and asks “what’s so funny?”

“Oh, I just heard the funniest political joke.” replies the Judge.

“Tell Me!”

“I can’t - I just gave someone life in prison for it!”

Why do North Koreans only sell one size of drink?

Because they have a Supreme Liter.

“Doctor, I keep having terrible flashbacks when I listen to Korean pop music.”

“Thats a clear case of BTS-D.”

What do you call a Korean high school girl who fights crime in spare time?

Kimchi Possible, obviously

Because of the Corona virus: North Korean citizens

aren't allowed to leave the country, for the time being.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Question: What is globalization

Answer : Princess Diana's death

Question : How come?

Answer :

An English princess with an
Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a
French tunnel, driving a
German car with a
Dutch engine, driven by a
Belgian who was high on
Scottish whiskey, followed closely by
Itali...

What’s the hardest part about eating a vegetable

Fighting off N. Korean security

What do Kim Jong-Un and Bok Choy have in common?

Both are Korean vegetables

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Korean Pop is KPop

Is Chinese Rap Crap?

EDIT: I just got on and looked at this post.....
THANK U SO MUCH!!!! This was my first post and it got all the way to the top!! Thank you sooo much!!

What sound does the slingshot North Korean nuke make when it's launced?

Pyongyang

What's a North Korean's Favourite Card Game?

Kim Jong Uno

A North Korean lady was in line in front of me at my bank in the U.S., trying to exchange some won. She was obviously irritated, arguing with the teller.

“Why it change? Yesterday I get two hunat dolla of won, today I get
only one hunat eighty. Why it change?”

Teller shrugs his shoulders, says, “Fluctuations.”

Korean lady says, “Fluc you white people too!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Chinese music is called C-pop, Korean music is called K-pop, and Japanese music is called J-pop, what do you call Drake's music?

Crap.

A Russian, a Mexican, and a Korean all show up to a construction site and get hired.

The boss says that for their first day on the job, the Russian is in charge of concrete, the Mexican is in charge of wood, and the Korean is in charge of supplies.

The boss then leaves and comes back a few hours later to check up on his new workers.

He walks over to the Russian, and al...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Korean man and a Jewish man are in a bar, total strangers to one another.

The Jewish man walks up to the Korean man and, totally unprompted, punches him in the face.

Naturally, the Korean man goes "What was that for?"

The Jewish man responds, "That was for Pearl Harbor."

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese," says the Korean man.

"Ah, Korean,...

Why do North Korean navy boats have glass bottoms

So they can see their Air Force

My Korean car broke down on me today...

It left me completely Hyundrai

My dad wanted to learn more about Korean culture.

K, pop.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was watching porn about a Korean girl and didn’t know which Korean she was from

Until she opened her fridge

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, I've dating a really Sweet Korean girl...

I think she's my Seoul mate.

Edit: First Platinum thank you kind stranger!

Have you ever had traditional North Korean food?

That's OK, neither have the citizens.

Korean meatballs

They really are the dog's bollocks.

Why are North Koreans always sad?

Because they are Seoulless

If Korean pop is K-pop

Then Korean Rap is KRAP.

Recently I found out that the 'r' and 'l' characters are the same in Korean.

I guess that explains why they like their elections so much.

I had a couple bad dreams last night about a Korean Boy Band

I think I might have BTSD

Two unrelated Korean girls who lost their sisters at birth met one day at the bar

They found that they looked rather similar. Both simultaneously asked "Did you go to Dr. Lee for plastic surgery?"

What's a North Korean farmer's favorite time of year?

Breakfast.

How do you say R. Kelly in Korean??

So-Young Poon

Why do Koreans have so many popular things?

Aren't they afraid of fans?

Korean joke

The number of South Korea's boys band singers is enough to defeat North Korea's entire army.

Korean meatballs are the best.

In fact they're the dogs bollocks.

A North Korean Defector

A North Korean defector moves into an apartment in Chicago, and his new neighbor ask what was his apartment back home like.
"Oh it was perfect I couldn't complain " the defector replies.
"What about your job"
"Oh my old job was perfect,I couldn't complain".

"And the food?".
"Oh th...

My dad told me I was listening to way too much Korean Music.

I told him, "K pop"

I was watching the Korean remake of Blues Brothers

Yeah, my favourite part was when they do Seoul Man

I'm thinking of opening a Carribean/Korean fusion restaurant

I can call it "Seoul Food"

A Korean boy, who is the head chef of a local soup restaurant, is arrested for accusingly spitting in every bowl of soup that’s made and poisoning all of the customers. The other chefs knew about it and didn’t say anything at first, but eventually couldn’t hide it any longer and told the cops.

He is punished to serious, hard work for a month, but he is always upbeat no matter what. So one day the cops decide to see if any one of them can make the boy unhappy. One decides to put the boy’s shoes in a block of cement. The boy doesn’t care, and he just does his work with no shoes. Another dec...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, an Irishman,...

a Scotsman,a welshman, a Frenchman, a German, an Italian, a Swede, two Finns, a Norwegian, a Dane, a Greenlander, an Austrian, a Hungarian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Latvian, an Estonian, a Russian, a Turk, an Egyptian, a Palestinian, an Israeli, a Greek, a Macedonian, a Chinese guy, a Japanese guy,a ...

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and try to figure out what nationality they are.

The American says, "Look at how free and independent they are, they must be Americans."

The Briton says, "What are you talking about, look...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Kanye West and the North Korean people have in common?

Both are regularly fucked by Kim.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A German sits alone in a bar, drinking, when a Korean walks in...

A German sits alone in a bar, drinking his sorrows away when a Korean walks in and sits right next to him. The German lets out a deep sigh in anticipation of the gloating.

Korean guy: “Let’s not talk about soccer, alright?”

The German looks up: “Oh... ok! That would be nice for a chang...

Why are North Koreans required to give their books to Kim Jong-un?

Because he is their Supreme Reader

Two dictators are arguing about whose army is more obedient.

They walk to the edge of the cliff and call a soldier over. Putin commands his soldier to jump off the cliff. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children."

Putin lets him go.

Kim Jong Un instructs a soldier to jump. The soldier is about to jump when Putin grabs his ar...

[Pickup line] Are you the Korean peninsula?

Because I'm gonna split you in two

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Korean pop is kpop, what sort of music does Drake make?

Crap

TIL 50% of South Koreans have cataracts.

The other 50% drive Rincolns.

Why are North Korean literacy rates so high?

Because they have the supreme reader.

What is the North Korean equivalent of a Gallon?

One Supreme Litre.

Did you know that 80% of Korean businessmen have caddaracts?

The other 20% drive Mercedes

How do you clear a North Korean bingo hall?

B 52

An old Korean saying:

"If the dog is barking, you didn't cook it enough."

A young Korean couple are lying in bed...

When the guy starts farting nonstop.

The girl, unable to take the smell, says, "Stop, that's disgusting!"

"Don't blame me", the guy says. "It's the dog."

"Oh, don't blame him", she says. "He was cooked perfectly."

A korean couldn't find his coin, so basically ...

a korean lost a korean won

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A North Korean, United States, and Irish Politician walk into a bar.

They all order a beer. Upon going to drink them they notice a fly is floating in each of their beers.

The North Korean politician, outraged, declares war and that he will destroy the bar for allowing this to happen.

The politician from the United States declares tighter sanctions and ...

A Korean man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 200,000 Korean won and walked out with $200...

The following week, he walked in with another 200,000 Korean won, and was handed $185. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week. The teller said , "Three syllables bro: Fluc-tu-ations." The Korean man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and...

So a new commander arrives in Korea during the Korean War at the beginning of a Chinese offensive.

So a new commander arrives in Korea at the beginning of the Chinese offensive. Wanting to gain information on the enemy he looks around and asks a Marine,

“what are their tactics, how do they fight?”

The Marine responds,

“Well the Chinese Army likes to attack in very small gro...

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