North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they’re brainwashed by the government and the media

But every American knows that America is the best country in the world

A North Korean Soldier Walks Into A Bar

The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The North Korean soldier replies, "Can't complain!"

A North Korean lady was in line in front of me at my bank in the U.S., trying to exchange some won. She was obviously irritated, arguing with the teller.

“Why it change? Yesterday I get two hunat dolla of won, today I get
only one hunat eighty. Why it change?”

Teller shrugs his shoulders, says, “Fluctuations.”

Korean lady says, “Fluc you white people too!”

I asked my North Korean friend “How are you?”

He said “Can’t complain”

My dad was Korean and my mom was Mexican

Hi, I am Guacamo Lee

Police are on the hunt for a South Korean man accused of murdering his wife.

He is the Seoul suspect.

Have you ever tried North Korean food?

That's okay, neither have they.

Why is the North Korean dictator so evil?

Because he has no Seoul.

My Korean car broke down on me today...

It left me completely Hyundrai

Know why North Koreans are so good at measuring stuff?

They have a supreme ruler

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an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian....

an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodia...

A North Korean Judge walks out of the courtroom, laughing his head off

His friend approaches him and asks “what’s so funny?”

“Oh, I just heard the funniest political joke.” replies the Judge.

“Tell Me!”

“I can’t - I just gave someone life in prison for it!”

I am dating this half korean chick

I am dating this half korean chick
Her mom is korean
And her dad is korean
But her legs got ripped of in a car accident

Two unrelated Korean girls who lost their sisters at birth met one day at the bar

They found that they looked rather similar. Both simultaneously asked "Did you go to Dr. Lee for plastic surgery?"

What's a North Korean farmer's favorite time of year?

Breakfast.

Recently I found out that the 'r' and 'l' characters are the same in Korean.

I guess that explains why they like their elections so much.

I had a couple bad dreams last night about a Korean Boy Band

I think I might have BTSD

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I was watching porn about a Korean girl and didn’t know which Korean she was from

Until she opened her fridge

Korean meatballs are the best.

In fact they're the dogs bollocks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Kanye West and the North Korean people have in common?

Both are regularly fucked by Kim.

If Korean pop is K-pop

Then Korean Rap is KRAP.

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So, I've dating a really Sweet Korean girl...

I think she's my Seoul mate.

Edit: First Platinum thank you kind stranger!

What's a North Korean's Favourite Card Game?

Kim Jong Uno

Why are North Koreans always sad?

Because they are Seoulless

A Korean boy, who is the head chef of a local soup restaurant, is arrested for accusingly spitting in every bowl of soup that’s made and poisoning all of the customers. The other chefs knew about it and didn’t say anything at first, but eventually couldn’t hide it any longer and told the cops.

He is punished to serious, hard work for a month, but he is always upbeat no matter what. So one day the cops decide to see if any one of them can make the boy unhappy. One decides to put the boy’s shoes in a block of cement. The boy doesn’t care, and he just does his work with no shoes. Another dec...

Korean joke

The number of South Korea's boys band singers is enough to defeat North Korea's entire army.

Why do Koreans have so many popular things?

Aren't they afraid of fans?

I was watching the Korean remake of Blues Brothers

Yeah, my favourite part was when they do Seoul Man

I'm thinking of opening a Carribean/Korean fusion restaurant

I can call it "Seoul Food"

Why do North Korean navy boats have glass bottoms

So they can see their Air Force

A guy asks a north korean "what's life like in north Korea?"

North Korean answers "I can't complain"

North Korea has a new war game

The North Korean state media just announced today that in the event of possible war all citizens are ordered to follow Donald Trump on Twitter, as there’s no way in hell he would risk losing 42 million followers

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If Korean Pop is KPop

Is Chinese Rap Crap?

EDIT: I just got on and looked at this post.....
THANK U SO MUCH!!!! This was my first post and it got all the way to the top!! Thank you sooo much!!

[Pickup line] Are you the Korean peninsula?

Because I'm gonna split you in two

What is the North Korean equivalent of a Gallon?

One Supreme Litre.

A Russian, a Mexican, and a Korean all show up to a construction site and get hired.

The boss says that for their first day on the job, the Russian is in charge of concrete, the Mexican is in charge of wood, and the Korean is in charge of supplies.

The boss then leaves and comes back a few hours later to check up on his new workers.

He walks over to the Russian, and al...

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A Korean man and a Jewish man are in a bar, total strangers to one another.

The Jewish man walks up to the Korean man and, totally unprompted, punches him in the face.

Naturally, the Korean man goes "What was that for?"

The Jewish man responds, "That was for Pearl Harbor."

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese," says the Korean man.

"Ah, Korean,...

What do you call a half indian and half korean?

A Curryan

I recently watched a North Korean horror movie

It turned out to be a documentary.

What do you call North Korean K-Pop?

Propaganda Style.

A North Korean Defector

A North Korean defector moves into an apartment in Chicago, and his new neighbor ask what was his apartment back home like.
"Oh it was perfect I couldn't complain " the defector replies.
"What about your job"
"Oh my old job was perfect,I couldn't complain".

"And the food?".
"Oh th...

Why are North Koreans required to give their books to Kim Jong-un?

Because he is their Supreme Reader

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Korean pop is kpop, what sort of music does Drake make?

Crap

Once the North Korean leader dies, who will take his place?

His next of Kim

So a new commander arrives in Korea during the Korean War at the beginning of a Chinese offensive.

So a new commander arrives in Korea at the beginning of the Chinese offensive. Wanting to gain information on the enemy he looks around and asks a Marine,

“what are their tactics, how do they fight?”

The Marine responds,

“Well the Chinese Army likes to attack in very small gro...

Why are North Korean literacy rates so high?

Because they have the supreme reader.

My Korean friend died today.

He was So Yung.

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A German sits alone in a bar, drinking, when a Korean walks in...

A German sits alone in a bar, drinking his sorrows away when a Korean walks in and sits right next to him. The German lets out a deep sigh in anticipation of the gloating.

Korean guy: “Let’s not talk about soccer, alright?”

The German looks up: “Oh... ok! That would be nice for a chang...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Korean Pop is called K Pop, what do they call Chinese Rap?

CRap

A korean couldn't find his coin, so basically ...

a korean lost a korean won

I just had this really strong Korean bread.

Tae-kwon-dough

A Korean man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 200,000 Korean won and walked out with $200...

The following week, he walked in with another 200,000 Korean won, and was handed $185. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week. The teller said , "Three syllables bro: Fluc-tu-ations." The Korean man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and...

How many North Koreans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A hundred thousand. One to screw in the lightbulb, and the rest for holding the parade.

Why do North Korean police travel in groups of 3?

You need one to read.

You need one to write.

And you need a third to keep an eye on the intellectuals.

What’s a North Korean’s favorite drink?

A supreme liter

My dad told me I was listening to way too much Korean Music.

I told him, "K pop"

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I don't get why Japanese people and South Korean people just can't get along.

I mean, they're all Chinese.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On a cold night, during the Korean War, A young lieutenant arrives at a lonely Army camp.....

He was sent to replace the company commander who fell ill. The men greatly liked the old commander and weren't thrilled about getting a new one.. needless to say, the young lieutenant had a hard time fitting in but that didn't stop him from trying.
One night, while doing paper work, he saw severa...

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A North Korean, United States, and Irish Politician walk into a bar.

They all order a beer. Upon going to drink them they notice a fly is floating in each of their beers.

The North Korean politician, outraged, declares war and that he will destroy the bar for allowing this to happen.

The politician from the United States declares tighter sanctions and ...

An old Korean saying:

"If the dog is barking, you didn't cook it enough."

What's the difference between North Koreans and Americans?

The Americans had a chance to vote.

What do you call an ancient Korean man?

Jurassic Park

How do you clear a North Korean bingo hall?

B 52

TIL 50% of South Koreans have cataracts.

The other 50% drive Rincolns.

What’s the North Korean leader’s favorite periodic element?

Un un quadium. Then, uranium

What term do you use to refer to a Korean’s brothers/sisters?

Next of Kim

Before candles, what did North Korean communists use to light their homes with?

Electricity.

Did you know that 80% of Korean businessmen have caddaracts?

The other 20% drive Mercedes

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and try to figure out what nationality they are.

The American says, "Look at how free and independent they are, they must be Americans."

The Briton says, "What are you talking about, look...

A young Korean couple are lying in bed...

When the guy starts farting nonstop.

The girl, unable to take the smell, says, "Stop, that's disgusting!"

"Don't blame me", the guy says. "It's the dog."

"Oh, don't blame him", she says. "He was cooked perfectly."

Why can't North Koreans go to heaven?

Because they don't have a Seoul.

An American, a Korean, a Chinese, and a Russian walk into a bar...

...they settled into their seats and when they had loosened up after a few drinks they decided to extol the virtues of their homelands.

"American industry is so superb," said the American. "A sports team can decide to move to a different city, and within a year and a half we can build a stat...

Why can't North Koreans find true love ?

Because they just can't find a Seoul-mate !

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was talking to a North Korean about freedom

I told him, "You know what's the best thing about freedom? If I ever see President Trump, I can shout, 'Hey Mr. President, you're an asshole!'"

The North Korean answered, "I have that freedom too. If I ever see President Kim, I can shout, 'Hey Supreme Leader, Donald Trump is an asshole!'"

Say what you will about George W Bush, but he wouldn't have stood for North Korean aggression...

He'd have invaded New Zealand by now...

2 north korean farmers were working in a field

When all of a sudden they spot 2 grenades in the rice paddy up ahead.
Farmer 1: let us take the grenades to the police in a car
Farmer 2: what if one of them explodes while we are on the way to the police station?
Farmer 1: we tell the police that we found only 1

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Jong Un asked a well known North Korean composer to create a piece for him

The composer had many months to find people to play, and to write a piece. Once it was performed on stage, it sounded terrible. The players werent synchronized, and they were all playing the wrong notes. That night the composer was set to be executed.

Before the composer was put in the electr...

What do you call a North Korean who isn't sure what to say?

Kim Jon Um...

A father asks his child, "Could you please stop listening to Korean music?"

"K, pop."

A Scottish man and his Korean wife take their daughter to the fair...

They walk around enjoying the sights, trying their best to blend in with the crowds. Their daughter sees a stage with a sign for a beauty pageant that says "Open entry, TRUE SCOTS ONLY!"

She drags her parents towards it, wanting to enter. They approach the official, asking how to sign her up ...

Why does the north Korean military always march to the left?

Because they have no rights.

What did the South Korean flag holder say to the North Korean holder after the ceremony?

Hey, let's grab some lunch! I bet you're starving!

An American, a South-African and a Korean are on a plane.

After a malfunction in one of the motors, the plane is forced to make an emergency landing. The plane crashes into the ocean, a few hundred metres from a remote island. Only the American, the South-African and the Korean survives.

All three swim to the island, and it quickly becomes clear tha...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fuck you Korea

100% true.
My friend works as a biosecurity agent at Auckland Airport and told me about a time when his Korean colleague, Alex, had to process a Chinese passenger with a thick accent.

Alex: "Is there anything in your bag we should be concerned about?"

Passenger - " Fuck you Korea!"<...

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