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Korean Jokes

My Korean friend died yesterday

So Yung...

A South Korean asks a North Korean “How’s life?”

The North Korean responds “Well, I can’t complain.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Korean man and a Jewish man are in a bar, total strangers to one another.

The Jewish man walks up to the Korean man and, totally unprompted, punches him in the face.

Naturally, the Korean man goes "What was that for?"

The Jewish man responds, "That was for Pearl Harbor."

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese," says the Korean man.

"Ah, Korean,...

Why is the North Korean dictator so evil?

Because he has no Seoul.

North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they’re brainwashed by their government and the media.

But I know that can't possibly be true. Because every American knows that America is the best country in the world.

If Godzilla was Korean

it'd be Seoul destroying.

I finally married my Korean wife whom I met in a penpal site few years ago..

She's my Seoul mate.

I asked my North Korean pen pal how it was like living in North Korea

"I can't complain" he wrote back.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Korean Pop is KPop

Is Chinese Rap Crap?

EDIT: I just got on and looked at this post.....
THANK U SO MUCH!!!! This was my first post and it got all the way to the top!! Thank you sooo much!!

A North Korean Soldier Walks Into A Bar

The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The North Korean soldier replies, "Can't complain!"

BREAKING: North Korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery.

They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive

I am married to a Korean wife and she told me I get to name our son's English name

We live in Korea and gave our son my wife's last name 모 (pronounced 'mo').

I got to choose his English name so I said we should call him Lester.

So when I go around and introduce my child I could say

"This is our child 모 Lester"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Korean pop is K-pop

Does that mean that Chinese rap is Crap?

Why are North Korean Figure Skaters so good?

It's all about the Execution

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So…

An Afghan, an Albanian, and Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Argintine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, ...

Cybersecurity experts have found an easy way to spot North Korean hackers. They never use the shift key.

They hate capitalism.

A Russian, a Mexican, and a Korean all show up to a construction site and get hired.

The boss says that for their first day on the job, the Russian is in charge of concrete, the Mexican is in charge of wood, and the Korean is in charge of supplies.

The boss then leaves and comes back a few hours later to check up on his new workers.

He walks over to the Russian, and al...

Just an FYI. I had a Korean family move in next door to me.

And I'm all cool with that, cuz I'm not prejudice or anything like that with having any minority families in the neighborhood.

But I do want to tell you, it's really made my dog nervous.

North Korean submarine accidentally destroys another North Korean submarine

Woops, wrong sub

What's a North Korean farmer's favorite time of year?

Breakfast.

A Korean guy recently died in a car accident near me

He was yung, so yung.

How is Korean boxing like baseball?

They always knock out one of the Parks.

Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines?

Because they have a supreme ruler

What's the most stereotypically Korean-Canadian name ever?

Oh Canada

What do you call a mobile phone company that doesn't like South Korean cars?

Nokia

I'll see myself it out

Kim Jong-un walks into a school in North Korea.

He asks a student "Who is your father?

The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father."

Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"

The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of...

I want to open a Thai/Mexican/Korean fusion restaurant

It will be called Thai Cuando.

What do you call 2000 pounds of Korean money?

Won Ton.

North Korean launches keep getting better and better

Heck, they even made it to the front page today!

What do you call North Korean K-Pop?

Propaganda Style.

I am shooting a scene about a Korean martial art. The second shot wasn’t perfect by any means.

Take one though…

I asked my North Korean friend how he liked living there.

He said he can't complain.



edit: my first award! thank you to jackdaman!

2nd edit: thanks to **TheGeorgiaGazette** for the 2nd award!

What would you call a Korean Shang Chi?

Kim Chi

My dad was Korean and my mom was Mexican

Hi, I am Guacamo Lee

What’s the difference between North Korea and the US?

North Koreans can’t tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can’t tell if their leader is dead serious.

My girlfriend is a half-Korean

Her mom is Korean and her dad is Korean and her legs got ripped off in a car accident.

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and try to figure out what nationality they are.

The American says, "Look at how free and independent they are, they must be Americans."

The Briton says, "What are you talking about, look...

A North Korean go to Poland...

Kim Jong Un goes to Poland for a diplomatic visit but his car break in the Polish countryside.

He meet a farmer that ask him :

"Kim jesteś?" (Who are you?)

And Kim reply :

"No, Kim Jong Un."

A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his family.

He is the seoul breadwinner

A father asks his child, "Could you please stop listening to Korean music?"

"K, pop."

Did you know that 80% of Korean businessmen have caddaracts?

The other 20% drive Mercedes

I always feel nervous when talking to Koreans.

Everytime I say hello, they always tell me that onions are on sale.

My Korean girlfriend broke up with me

I guess she'll never be my Seoul mate.

This year Korean gum brand Xylitol did a sponsorship with BTS

Each pack of gum features a photo of one BTS member, but one member was notably missing from the collection.

That's because Xylitol doesn't have Suga.

North Korean international press conference

The North Korean representative starts:

\- I will have you know that in North Korea no one has died of hunger

\- No one has died of thirst, of cold or homelessness

The Russian representative:

\- have you tried polonium ?

I am a little sad today, My korean friend was found dead

He was soo yung

My wife is Korean

She's my Seoul-mate

A North Korean Judge walks out of the courtroom, laughing his head off

His friend approaches him and asks “what’s so funny?”

“Oh, I just heard the funniest political joke.” replies the Judge.

“Tell Me!”

“I can’t - I just gave someone life in prison for it!”

Why does the north Korean navy have glass bottom boats?

So they can see their air Force.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was watching porn about a Korean girl and didn’t know which Korean she was from

Until she opened her fridge

What do you call a Korean entrepreneur?

A Seoul proprietor

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During the Korean War

My grandfather was deployed to South Korea when North Korea attacked. He was, by all accounts, a terrible gunner. He struggled to hit enemy tanks and even if his shell did hit, as if some curse was upon him, the shell would either be a dud or fail to pierce through the enemy's armour. Despite this, ...

North Korea has a new war game

The North Korean state media just announced today that in the event of possible war all citizens are ordered to follow Donald Trump on Twitter, as there’s no way in hell he would risk losing 42 million followers

What does the Korean civil war and a Korean gambler have in common ?

A Korean lost a Korean won

Why are North Koreans always left handed?

Because they have no rights.

My dad told me I was listening to way too much Korean Music.

I told him, "K pop"

Why is the North Korean National library so big?

Because Kim Jong-Un is a supreme reader!

I attack you with an ancient Korean ranged weapon...

Hwacha gonna do about that?

How do you clear a North Korean bingo hall?

B 52

Korean joke

The number of South Korea's boys band singers is enough to defeat North Korea's entire army.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a teenage Korean prostitute?

Yung Ho.

The Chinese Premier, along with the South Korean and Indonesia President Went to See God

In 1975, Zhou Enlai, Park Chung-hee, and Suharto came before God to ask a question.

Zhou Enlai went first: "God, when will my country become prosperous?"

God replied: "30 more years".

Zhou Enlai wept because he knew he will never see it in his lifetime. Indeed, he would pass awa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, I've dating a really Sweet Korean girl...

I think she's my Seoul mate.

Edit: First Platinum thank you kind stranger!

I ate at a Korean restaurant last night.

The meal was excellent, but I really wish I hadn't asked for a doggy bag.

Why did the Jedi let a Korean into the order?

Because he was the Choson Wan

TIL Korean singers never say, "Yes daddy!"

They say, "K pops!"

Korean meatballs

They really are the dog's bollocks.

Why aren't there many North Koreans in the Olympics?

Because anyone who can run, swim, or jump is in South Korea

A North Korean man is walking home

A North Korean man is walking along the road when he spots a fish caught in the reeds. Excitedly, he scooped it up and ran home.

"Look what I found!" he says, revealing his treasure to his wife, "Quick heat the oil"

"But husband, the police confiscated the oil! They said subversives co...

Say what you will about North Koreans

No seriously, they’re not allowed on this site.

Syngman Rhee was a South Korean politician who served as the first president of South Korea from 1948 to 1960.

Apologies if you're sick of Rhee posts.

TIL 50% of South Koreans have cataracts.

The other 50% drive Rincolns.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A North-Korean officer pulls out a megaphone at the North and South Korean border and yells "Kim Jong-Un is an idiot!" and gets sent to 31 years in a labor camp.

1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and 30 years for revealing a state secret.

I was cleaning one of my finger guns.

I accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.

A North Korean general is to undergo surgery

"His heart again?", asks the doctor

"No, chest expansion surgery, to make room for one more Gold medal"

A British guy, a French guy, and a Korean guy got stranded on an island

A British guy, a French guy, and a Korean guy got stranded on an island. The British guy decided it would be best for them to split up and meet back the next day. He told the other two that he would build a shelter, and told the French guy to gather food and the Korean guy to get supplies. The next ...

My Korean girlfriend makes some cute mistakes when speaking English. For example:

"Fishing stick" instead of "Fishing rod"

"Tropical tree" instead of "Palm tree"

"Ant-licker" instead of "Uncle"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

North Korean scientists report 50% success at turning shit into butter

Spreads fine, taste slightly off.

A Korean couple.

A Korean couple were sitting on the couch in front of the television when they hear a loud fart.

“ It was the dog” said the man smiling.

“Don’t blame the dog” the woman said “ I cooked it perfectly”

A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker ....

A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker are walking down the street.

A reporter comes up to them and says,
“Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?”

The Saudi says, “excuse me , what is this word shortage?”

The Russian says, “excuse me, what’s me...

What do you call a rich Korean grandma?

Hal-money

Why don't North Koreans go to heaven?

because they have no Seoul

Have you tried North Korean food?

Neither have they

What do you call it when a soldier crashes a Korean car

KIA

[Pickup line] Are you the Korean peninsula?

Because I'm gonna split you in two

A Korean man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 200,000 Korean won and walked out with $200...

The following week, he walked in with another 200,000 Korean won, and was handed $185. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week. The teller said , "Three syllables bro: Fluc-tu-ations." The Korean man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and...

What did the South Korean flag holder say to the North Korean holder after the ceremony?

Hey, let's grab some lunch! I bet you're starving!

What do all North Korean's say when you ask them how their day was?

"can't complain"

Why do North Koreans only sell one size of drink?

Because they have a Supreme Liter.

Did you catch the name of that Korean plumber?

I think it was Yuli Kang...

There's a rumour that North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un is dead.

But personally, I think he's just Kim Jong Un-well

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