My Korean friend died yesterday

So Yung...

I finally married my Korean wife whom I met in a penpal site few years ago..

She's my Seoul mate.

A Korean immigrant was beaten up by police after they asked for his name and registration papers during a routine traffic stop.

"I never have received seen such bad behaviour by cops" said Mr Fuuk Yu.

A South Korean asks a North Korean “How’s life?”

The North Korean responds “Well, I can’t complain.”

North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they’re brainwashed by the government and the media.

When every American knows that America is the best country in the world.

A North Korean go to Poland...

Kim Jong Un goes to Poland for a diplomatic visit but his car break in the Polish countryside.

He meet a farmer that ask him :

"Kim jesteś?" (Who are you?)

And Kim reply :

"No, Kim Jong Un."

What do you call 2000 pounds of Korean money?

Won Ton.

What do you call a Korean ham and onion greeting each other?

Onion-ham say “yo”

Kim Jong-un walks into a school in North Korea.

He asks a student "Who is your father?

The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father."

Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"

The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of...

I asked a north korean what he had to say about the country

he said he can’t complain

Why did the Jedi let a Korean into the order?

Because he was the Choson Wan

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian.....

.... an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Camer...

What would you call a Korean Shang Chi?

Kim Chi

North Korean international press conference

The North Korean representative starts:

\- I will have you know that in North Korea no one has died of hunger

\- No one has died of thirst, of cold or homelessness

The Russian representative:

\- have you tried polonium ?

The Chinese Premier, along with the South Korean and Indonesia President Went to See God

In 1975, Zhou Enlai, Park Chung-hee, and Suharto came before God to ask a question.

Zhou Enlai went first: "God, when will my country become prosperous?"

God replied: "30 more years".

Zhou Enlai wept because he knew he will never see it in his lifetime. Indeed, he would pass awa...

Why is the North Korean National library so big?

Because Kim Jong-Un is a supreme reader!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Korean pop is K-pop

Does that mean that Chinese rap is Crap?

A North Korean Soldier Walks Into A Bar

The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The North Korean soldier replies, "Can't complain!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This reminds me of the time I fucked a half Korean girl.

Her mom was Korean and her dad was Korean and her legs were blown off in a car accident.

What do you call a Korean entrepreneur?

A Seoul proprietor

I attack you with an ancient Korean ranged weapon...

Hwacha gonna do about that?

My Korean girlfriend makes some cute mistakes when speaking English. For example:

"Fishing stick" instead of "Fishing rod"

"Tropical tree" instead of "Palm tree"

"Ant-licker" instead of "Uncle"

BREAKING: North Korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery.

They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive

I always feel nervous when talking to Koreans.

Everytime I say hello, they always tell me that onions are on sale.

I asked my North Korean friend how he liked living there.

He said he can't complain.



edit: my first award! thank you to jackdaman!

2nd edit: thanks to **TheGeorgiaGazette** for the 2nd award!

A Canadian, a Swiss, a German, a Mexican, a American, a Korean, a Austrian, a Brazilian, a Estonian, a Filipino, a British, a Egyptian, a Icelander, a Jamaican, a South African, a Puerto Rican, a Chinese, a Latvian, a Moroccan, a Taiwanese, a Spaniard, and a Romanian walk into a fancy restaurant.

The waiter stops them and says “Sorry, you can’t come in here without a Thai.”

Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines?

Because they have a supreme ruler

I am married to a Korean wife and she told me I get to name our son's English name

We live in Korea and gave our son my wife's last name 모 (pronounced 'mo').

I got to choose his English name so I said we should call him Lester.

So when I go around and introduce my child I could say

"This is our child 모 Lester"

I asked my North Korean friend, “what’s it like to live in North Korea?”

He responded, “can’t complain.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Italian brothers garage

These two Italian brothers own a garage. They hire this Korean guy as a mechanic.
One morning the brothers go to open the garage and they find the Korean guy dead in the alley. They call the police.

Cop: What was his full name?

Tony: I don't know. We called him Park.

Cop: Jus...

What do you call it when a soldier crashes a Korean car

KIA

A North Korean man was arrested and given 15 years for calling Kim Jong Un a fathead

1 year for insulting the Supreme Leader and 14 for revealing a state secret

Why aren't there many North Koreans in the Olympics?

Because anyone who can run, swim, or jump is in South Korea

My wife is Korean

She's my Seoul-mate

My Korean girlfriend broke up with me

I guess she'll never be my Seoul mate.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a teenage Korean prostitute?

Yung Ho.

Countries around the world are having a competition to find out which currency is the best

Brazilian trying to keep it real, Russian is in ruble, and South Korean won.

The US ambassador was meeting the North Korea ambassador.

During the meeting, wanting to impress the Korean, the American ambassador started boasting.

"Last week, I was in London. I met the Olympic 1000 metres gold medallist.

The previous week, I was in Brussels. I met the world's leading mathematician.

The week before, I was in Paris....

After many years in America, the local Korean owner of a convenience store was asked how it was that his name is Patrick Murphy.

When I come to America, there was long line of immigrants from all over the world. When immigration officer ask man in front of me where he comes from & what his name he tell him, " I'm from Ireland & my name is Patrick Murphy!" Then immigration officer writes his name down and tells him to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

North Korean scientists report 50% success at turning shit into butter

Spreads fine, taste slightly off.

Why are North Koreans always left handed?

Because they have no rights.

My dad was Korean and my mom was Mexican

Hi, I am Guacamo Lee

Say what you will about North Koreans

No seriously, they’re not allowed on this site.

Why is the North Korean dictator so evil?

Because he has no Seoul.

There was this musician in North Korea

One day, he was called upon by Kim Jong-Un himself, to compose a piece of music and have the great North Korean Orchestra play it live to him in the humble auditorium. The man, not wanting to displease the great leader, did as asked.

The big night arrived, with the musicians stood at the fro...

I have a Korean friend whose hands got tremor

His name is Park In Son

A Korean couple.

A Korean couple were sitting on the couch in front of the television when they hear a loud fart.

“ It was the dog” said the man smiling.

“Don’t blame the dog” the woman said “ I cooked it perfectly”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Korean Pop is KPop

Is Chinese Rap Crap?

EDIT: I just got on and looked at this post.....
THANK U SO MUCH!!!! This was my first post and it got all the way to the top!! Thank you sooo much!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Chinese music is called C-pop, Korean music is called K-pop, and Japanese music is called J-pop, what do you call Drake's music?

Crap.

TIL Korean singers never say, "Yes daddy!"

They say, "K pops!"

A North Korean Judge walks out of the courtroom, laughing his head off

His friend approaches him and asks “what’s so funny?”

“Oh, I just heard the funniest political joke.” replies the Judge.

“Tell Me!”

“I can’t - I just gave someone life in prison for it!”

I was cleaning one of my finger guns.

I accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Korean man and a Jewish man are in a bar, total strangers to one another.

The Jewish man walks up to the Korean man and, totally unprompted, punches him in the face.

Naturally, the Korean man goes "What was that for?"

The Jewish man responds, "That was for Pearl Harbor."

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese," says the Korean man.

"Ah, Korean,...

A North Korean lady was in line in front of me at my bank in the U.S., trying to exchange some won. She was obviously irritated, arguing with the teller.

“Why it change? Yesterday I get two hunat dolla of won, today I get
only one hunat eighty. Why it change?”

Teller shrugs his shoulders, says, “Fluctuations.”

Korean lady says, “Fluc you white people too!”

Loved the Korean zombie movie "Train to Busan" and can't wait for it's sequel to come out?

Then catch a train to Wuhan.

Why are American school kids the second best FPS gamers next to Koreans?

Because they learned how to dodge bullets in real life

A North Korean man is walking home

A North Korean man is walking along the road when he spots a fish caught in the reeds. Excitedly, he scooped it up and ran home.

"Look what I found!" he says, revealing his treasure to his wife, "Quick heat the oil"

"But husband, the police confiscated the oil! They said subversives co...

What’s the difference between North Korea and the US?

North Koreans can’t tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can’t tell if their leader is dead serious.

What do you call a rich Korean grandma?

Hal-money

A Russian, a Mexican, and a Korean all show up to a construction site and get hired.

The boss says that for their first day on the job, the Russian is in charge of concrete, the Mexican is in charge of wood, and the Korean is in charge of supplies.

The boss then leaves and comes back a few hours later to check up on his new workers.

He walks over to the Russian, and al...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Jong-un has unfortunately died and the North Korean subordinates gathered for a serious meeting.

After hours of discussion, they decided it'd be best to replace him with a look alike to fool the foreign leaders. A Kim Jong-un look alike contest was organised and the winner was to be selected to rule Korea.

Fliers and posters of the contest was all over North Korea and a majority of the...

What does a North Korean ricochet sound like?

PYONG! YANG!

Why are North Korean jokes so good?

They have great execution

Why do North Korean navy boats have glass bottoms

So they can see their Air Force

There's a rumour that North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un is dead.

But personally, I think he's just Kim Jong Un-well

A North Korean, a Uiyghur, and a covid-denier are driving through the desert...

A North Korean, a Uiyghur, and a covid-denier are driving through the desert when their car breaks down. Each of them agrees to take one item as they have to continue through the desert on foot.

The North Korean and the covid-denier ask the Uiyghur what he is going to take. He responds, "I wi...

Did you catch the name of that Korean plumber?

I think it was Yuli Kang...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, I've dating a really Sweet Korean girl...

I think she's my Seoul mate.

Edit: First Platinum thank you kind stranger!

A poor South Korean man decided to join the military

He really did not want to join the military because he knew his wife was a loose woman, but he had no other choice.

After his posting of 6 months at the North Korean border, he comes back to his house only to see his wife ditch him for another man.

Really upset about the fact that serv...

A Korean man is wanted for questioning after his wife was found dead in their family home.

He is the Seoul suspect.

Why do North Koreans only sell one size of drink?

Because they have a Supreme Liter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was watching porn about a Korean girl and didn’t know which Korean she was from

Until she opened her fridge

Why did the north Korean flea to South Korea?

To find his Seoul mate

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and try to figure out what nationality they are.

The American says, "Look at how free and independent they are, they must be Americans."

The Briton says, "What are you talking about, look...

What do you call a Korean high school girl who fights crime in spare time?

Kimchi Possible, obviously

Did you know that 80% of Korean businessmen have caddaracts?

The other 20% drive Mercedes

My dad told me I was listening to way too much Korean Music.

I told him, "K pop"

Because of the Corona virus: North Korean citizens

aren't allowed to leave the country, for the time being.

My Korean car broke down on me today...

It left me completely Hyundrai

You ever tried North Korean Food?

Neither have the North Koreans

TIL 50% of South Koreans have cataracts.

The other 50% drive Rincolns.

[Pickup line] Are you the Korean peninsula?

Because I'm gonna split you in two

I'm thinking of opening a Carribean/Korean fusion restaurant

I can call it "Seoul Food"

How do you say R. Kelly in Korean??

So-Young Poon

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.