If you see a Spanish person tell them "mucho"

It means a lot to them

My name is Brett but my Spanish speaking friends call me

Pan.

A German girl married a Spanish man

A German girl married a Spanish man & went to Spain. She can't speak Spanish. Each time she wants to buy chicken legs, she would lift her skirt& show her thighs to enable the seller understand her.

This went on for sometime. One day she wanted to buy banana. So She took her husband to...

My four year old daughter has been learning Spanish now for over a year but she still can’t seem to say “please”

I think that’s poor for four

Spanish word of the day..

Muchos.

Thanks for reading. It means a lot to me.

My Spanish teacher's husband died last week

I approached her in class and said "Mucho"

"Thanks," she said, "that means a lot."

"Tanto."

"Oh my," she replied. "Thank you, that means so much."

"El mundo."

"Thank you so much," she said, "what you've said means the world."

What do you call a website where you pay to look at pictures of Spanish desserts?

OnlyFlans

What do you call a group of Spanish yes men?

A si section!

Spanish Magician

A Spanish magician announced to his audience that "he would disappear on the count of three" then said "uno, dos" and then disappeared without a tres.

Why is Mario so scared of Spanish ghosts?

He’s been playing with “La Ouija” too much.

I showed my Mexican friends I know a little Spanish by saying "mucho" and they seemed really flattered

...they said it meant a lot to them.

If a Spanish woman called Pilar married an Irish man called Colm

... would their children be Poles?

For some reason CBS wouldn't let me stream the super bowl. I had to switch to the ESPN spanish simulcast.

It worked out because BRADY-GRONKOWSKI-GOALLLLLLLLL!!!!! is the same in every language.

What would you call a progressive rock band that plays psychedelic Spanish guitar on your front lawn?

Pink Flamenco

My Spanish teacher asked me to turn in my essay

But I ain't no snitch

What did the Spanish ghost have for breakfast?

A bowl of ethereal...

Smallpox, the Spanish Flu, and the black death have already done the whole global pandemic thing...

What covid is doing is just plaguerism.

I hope it translate well from Spanish.

Pozo.

A Spanish man, an Italian man, and an English man are seated together on a flight to the US.

As they talk during the flight, they discover that they are all on extended business trips, and they each spent their last night at home making love to their wives.

The Spanish man says, "I made love to my wife three times, and when it was time for me to leave she cried and cried for me to st...

A British man walks up to a Spanish man.

The british man asks if he wants to hear a joke. The spanish man said "si" the British man said "Gibraltar." The Spanish man responded "I don't get it." The british man said "And you never will"

I asked my Spanish colleague if he could include me on an email

He replied, “CC”

I recently had a chat with a Spanish girl whose name is apparently "senorita 2"

Unfortunately she wasn't able to recognize any of the words I was saying. That's probably the only time I'll speak with "MS-DOS".

Why did the Spanish train driver crash into an insane asylum?

Nobody is sure, but the doctors said they saw a loco motive

I told my girlfriend that I don’t like Spanish rice...

And now I’m ricest

A Spanish man is showing his friend his boats

He tells his friend he has a boat named uno, dos, tres, cuatro, and seis.

His friend asks what happened to the fifth one

The Spanish man says: Cinco!

A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks.

A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks.

He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him.

"Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the sale...

What do Spanish people call leftover beef?

Reincarne

What did the Spanish sauce say to the English sauce?

Soy sauce.

A magical spanish thief was caught trying to steal an early work of a famous artist

In his defeat, he declared they could keep the work, but he would set himself free on the count of three. He said "Uno...Dos...." and then poof, he vanished without a trace.

I used to have a Spanish girlfriend called Nada

She meant nothing to me

I've getting feedback that my jokes are in broken English, so here's one in Spanish.

Uno.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeeez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?" The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!" "I got every word," says the parrot. "Ask me anything, I'll answer whatever you want."

"Okay," the guy says. "How can you hang onto your perch without any feet?" "Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but si...

Why can’t a blind Spanish girl consent?

Because they can’t Si

What do you call a dog that helps out in a Spanish law firm?

A perro-legal.

Why did the spanish take his anti-anxiety pills ?

For hispanic attacks.

I have two really good Spanish friends in the south of the USA that I want to visit some day

They're called Louise y Anna

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My 4 year old nephew is learning about manners and also learning Spanish. He said “Can you por favor me some juice?”

He followed up with: “I don’t have to say PLEASE because I already DID.” Smart ass.

People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Iberia.

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision!

native spanish speakers: our language has existed for over 1500 years and is the second-most spoken on earth

**taco bell:** cool... well we made up some new words for y’all

I hope this translate well from Spanish

Why do police cars have a bathtub on the top?

So they can carry the sirens.




.
Sorry

What do you call a a Spanish spring (river) that doesn't move?

Geyser Permanente

We did our company Christmas party online this year and my coworkers were surprised at my incredibly detailed tattoo. They refused to believe me when I told them it was done in Madrid, before the pandemic...

Nobody expected the Spanish ink precision...

Why do Spanish urinals have splash guards?

Because they piso mojado.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the Spanish dog say to his owner after he let him out to poop in the yard?

Grassy-ass

Have you ever seen a Spanish Muslim?

Once you see juan, you see jamal.

An American man, a French man, a Spanish man and a German man are standing on the sidewalk, trying to watch a street performer juggle bowling pins.

The juggler notices they're having a bit of trouble, so he stands on a large wooden box and says to them, "Can you see me now?"

They answer one at a time:

"Yes."

"Oui."

"Sí."

"Ja."

What was the name of the most intelligent Spanish conquistador?

Cerebral Cortez.

BROO, the most UNEXPECTED thing happened!

the spanish inquisition

What tool does a spanish man use to play the violin?

Elbow

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Spanish pigs say "oinc-oinc".

French pigs say "Oinque"

Japanese pigs say "Oinku"

American pigs say "STOP RESISTING"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American man walks into a restaurant in Spain and looks at the menu.

He doesn't speak a lick of Spanish, so he defaults to a passing waiter for advice on what to get. "I would recommend the *cojones*," the waiter says. "Our house specialty. The dish is sourced fresh from the bull killed by one of our bullfighters in the ring today."

So the man orders the cojo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This joke was told to me in Spanish so hopefully nothing is lost in translation.

Two guys were on a ship out in the ocean when it capsized during a storm. But they were lucky enough to find a piece of flotsam to hold on to.

One man spoke only Spanish and the other spoke only English. After days of holding on to the flotsam, the Spanish guy couldn’t hold on and started to ...

I want to know if this Spanish joke translates at all

What’s the similarity between a boat, a firefighter and a family?

The boat and the firefighter have hard outer coverings (cascos).

*and the family?*

They’re good, thanks for asking!




(Original Spanish)
¿Que se parece entre un bombero, un barco y una famili...

A member of the Inca Indian tribe was captured by the Spanish....

The captain told his interpreter to say this to the Inca Indian , " Tell him if he doesn't tell us where they have hidden all their gold ,that we will burn his feet ".
Through the interpreter the Inca Indian replied " I would rather die than tell you where the gold is "
The captain threatened...

There is a Spanish family on holiday in England

When they are in England, the trains are packed and everyone is drunk and half naked. Everywhere is mayhem and the little Spanish boy is confused why. "Dad, why is everyone celebrating, is there an event or something happening?" The dad replies, "The sun has come out."

I wanted to impress my Spanish wife's parents so I said the word mucho in conversation at dinner last night.

I think it worked. They said it meants a lot.

My dad is moving to a Spanish city

Ciudad

The Spanish word for 'cat' is 'gato'.



In China they pronounce it 'gateau'.

Do you speak Spanish?

A) No. B) A little. C) Señor

What's an eggs least favourite day?

Spanish Inquisition.

My friends mom counted over two in Spanish and died.

You could say it was an Overdos.

I heard translated jokes are now a thing. Here's one from spanish:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side!

Original:

¿Donde esta la bibliotecha?

¡Donde esta la bibliotecha!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'll try to translate this joke from Spanish

A man is walking down the road carrying a shovel when his friend sees him.

Friend: Hey Pablo, you sure do look tired. What have you been up to?

Pablo: I come from burying my mother in law.

Friend: And you're that tired? Even with how strong you are?

Pablo: The massive bit...

How's life Johnny? (translated from Spanish)

George: So, how's life Johnny?

Johnny: Terrible.

G: Aw, well what about that Ferrari you got?

J: It got wrecked in a car crash.

G: Ooh, but what about that genius son of yours?

J: He was in the car.

*G, hoping to get away from this horrible conversation:*...

What happened after the Spanish King got his car stolen?

Juan Carlos.

My mother in law is Spanish

My mother in law is Spanish, so when we named our son 'Muchos' it really meant a lot to her.

I caught a really bad case of COVID in Madrid.

Whilst sniffling and coughing and rolling around in the hotel bed, I realized I needed medical attention, so I called the concierge to get help.

"Oh, so you're sick!" came the reply. "Not a problem, we'll send our very own hotel doctor up to your room right away!"

The doctor, with his ...

A woman is talking on her phone while waiting in line at the bank.

After she gets off the call, the man behind her taps her on the shoulder and says, "I didn't want to interrupt your call, but next time you need to speak in English"

"Excuse me?" the woman replied.

"This is America," the man said, "We speak English in America. If you wanna speak Spanis...

What did the Spanish man say when I got grass stains all over my pants?

Graciass

I once took a spanish language course on a cruise ship

And I got lost at si

Job Interview

"It says here you are fluent in Spanish."

"Oui, Oui."

"Ok, that's french."

"Better add that to my resume as well."

What do you call a spanish man with a rubber toe?

Roberto

What did the pig say to the spanish butcher?

Porque

What did the mathematician order at the Spanish restaurant?

A π-ella

What does 'no se' mean in Spanish?

Every time I ask someone, they tell me they don't know.

A French man, a British man and a Spanish man are caught stealing in a foreign country.

They are prosecuted and the judge sentences them all to 100 lashes each. However he wants to look lenient in the eyes of their respective countries so he reduces the lashes to twenty and allows them to have two requests each before being lashed.

The Spanish is first to be lashed and requests ...

My son asked me if I know any Spanish words.

I said no.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which US President was most popular among Spanish porn stars?

L.B.J.

Two guys were working at the airport, when a foreigner walked up to them. He asked them in Spanish, where the luggage pick up was. Neither could understand him, so they raised their hands and shook their heads that they don't understand...

He asked again, in German.

Again, the two workers did not understand him.

He tried in Polish and then again in French, but both times, the employees couldn't understand him.

He walked away trying to find someone else who could help him.

One guy turned to the other guy and...

What did the Spanish radio host say after broadcast?

Audios

My Spanish girlfriend wanted a better TV

So I arrived home and set it up.

Turns out she said Por Que instead of 4K.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An English man is sat in a Spanish restaurant in Spain...

He sees a Spanish man at another table get served a plate with some amazing food, the main part of which is two massive meatballs.

He asks the waiter for the same dish,
“I’m sorry senior, we only get that once per day after the bullfight, it is the testicles of the bull after he is killed ...

Here, have a joke in spanish

“sabe inglés?"

"si"

"como se dice 'un zapato' en inglés?"

"a shoe"

"salud"

"gracias”

Immigration pulls a Spaniard Over and Questions him

Officer: “You aren’t American. You shouldn’t be here.”

Spanish Person: “But officer, I’m American.”

The officer thinks about it and says, “If you are, then use the words green, pink, and yellow in a sentence.

The Spaniard thinks for a moment and says, “The phone goes gree...

What moisturizer do Spanish bullfighters use?

OLAY

I got sick in a small hotel in Madrid.

I called to the front desk and they said they had a doctor on staff. After he made me feel better, I told him I was amazed such a small place had a doctor. He nodded and said: "No one expects te spanish inn physician. "

A Spanish greengrocer is 1.74 meters tall, has a waist circumference of 105 centimeters, and wears a size of 44. What does he weigh?

Vegetables

A young couple in poverty give birth to identical twins.

After much consideration they decide that the best thing for the baby boys would be to give them up for adoption so that they can have a better shot in life. One boy goes to a Spanish family who name him Juan, the second goes to an Indian family who name him Amal.

18 years pass when the birth...

When rebels were combatting Franck’s regime, they found that it was most cost effective to use bullets made of tin

Nobody expects the Spanish tin munition!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Spanish, French and English king got in a debate about who had the best penis

The couldn't decide who had the best penis. They decided to ask an audience of 300 people. 100 British, 100 French, and 100 Spanish. When the 3 Kings arrived of stage, they started to take off their robes one by one.


The French king went first.
Gazing upon the smelly phallus, the Fr...

Everyone was shocked when the chef started talking foreign during a culinary show.

Nobody expects the Spanish-in-cuisine-show!

What do you call a crazy Spanish train driver's reason to commit murder ?

A Loco-motive!

The Spanish assassin

There was once a hitman who was known for his skill and stealth. Nobody really knew his identity, except for the fact that he always used to count to three before shooting his victim.

One time, a mob leader wanted a hit on a rival leader, so he hired him. He said "I want the kill to be clean,...

A bilingual joke! (English/Spanish)

A Spanish man goes into a department store looking for a specific item of clothing. But he can't find what he's looking for and he doesn't know the English word for it.

So he grabs a salesperson and says, "Tienes calcetines?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know what that is," the salesperson says...

My Jamaican buddy is dating a Spanish chick. He doesn't like her granddad, Juan...

But he does like Hernando.

I failed my Spanish language exam.

Sacre bleu

An Italian, an American and a Spanish guy walk into a bar

Shouldn't have done that, now they all got corona

Mick Jagger and Keith Richards have a huge falling out after Mick refuses to stop talking in broken Spanish

When asked for comment, Mick replied "The Rolling Stones gather no mas."

I asked my Spanish neighbor to help me fix my tv.

It was a very expensive tv and I told him that I had been meaning to sell it for a while, and would sell it once I got it fixed. He looked confused.

“por que?”

“No, it’s only HD”

A magician is traveling through Europe performing his flashy new fountain-pen act

He sells out shows in Paris, London, Berlin, Prague, and Amsterdam. People begin calling him "Bic Jesus"

Everywhere he went, crowds would gather to see him perform his Montblanc mastery. Men wanted to be him, and women wanted to be with him.

This all changed one fateful spring day. The...

A couple of years ago Barry went hiking across Europe

But as time passed by he never returned home. His many friends tried contacting him in any way they could imagine, but his phone was disconnected, he wasn't active on his social media accounts anymore - it was like he disappeared off the face of the Earth.

Ultimately, everyone had forgotten a...

Lo Siento Sir

I hate being greeted formally in Spanish because it makes me feel like I'm having a señor moment

What did the passive aggressive Spanish cheese say?

Kay, so?



Sorry, heading to the gym and this is the best I can meunster.

My work made me go on a training course where I had to lift some Spanish guys over and over

It was a Manuel handling course

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a Spanish restaurant

An American man walks into a Spanish restaurant and sits down. As he is sat there he sees lots of bull heads on the walls and costumes of matadors in the restaurant.

The waiter walks past and the American asks him “why do you have all these pictures and bulls heads up?”

The Spanish wa...

My wife said I was overconfident by transporting Spanish desserts in the center console of my car. I didn't care.

But then the shift hit the flan.

What do you call a Spanish man who ran out of Toiler Paper during Lockdown?

His Panic

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In a Spanish town, testicles of the bull are served in a restaurant the next day of a bullfight.

In the restaurant, a man orders testicles.He is surprised and asks ' Why are the testicles so small?'

The restaurant owner replies ' The bull won yesterday.'

Spanglish joke

A lady in a tight skirt is at the front of a line of people trying to get on a bus. She starts to climb the stairs but stops, apparently unable to lift her feet high enough due to the restrictive skirt.

A man behind her attempts to pick her up, and she swats his arms away, saying "ya lo pues"...

What do you call a Spanish marathon runner?

Ricardio

What did the Spanish musician say after they left the sound booth?

Audios

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A school hired a new Spanish teacher fresh out of college.

On the teacher's first day, the principal decides to sit in her class to observe and takes a seat next to Little Johnny. As the class progresses, the teacher writes a sentence in Spanish on the board. Suddenly, she drops the chalk on the floor and bends down to pick it up. When she straightens back ...

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