Korea Jokes

North Koreans can’t tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can’t tell if their leader is dead serious.

He asks a student "Who is your father?

The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father."

Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"

The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of... read more

During a live interview with Kim Jong-un, a reporter asked, "the Sun is very hot! How did you land a man?" Kim proudly replied, "we launch at night!"

Meanwhile, Trump tweeted while watching the live, "Haha what an idiot! There is no Sun at night!"

I think he might be my Seoulmate

He responded, “can’t complain.”

...because if it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.

The North Korean state media just announced today that in the event of possible war all citizens are ordered to follow Donald Trump on Twitter, as there’s no way in hell he would risk losing 42 million followers

A supreme liter

Perhaps he should move there and become their leader.

North Kor

What a great idea.

Oops! Spelt ***nuclear*** wrong.

That is why I am glad to live in the greatest country in the world, The United States of America.

because they have no seoul

ahahahah.. please laugh

Kim Jong-un announced in a news conference that North Korea would be sending a man to the sun within ten years!

A reporter said - "But the sun is very hot. How can your man land on the sun?"

There was a stunned silence. Nobody knew how to react.

Then Kim Jong-un quietly answer... read more

The caption reads: Several pigs surrounding Dear Leader (3rd from left)

She didn't win gold but her execution was flawless.

One day he was called upon Kim Jong-Un himself to compose a piece of music and have the great North Korean orchestra play it to him in the humble auditorium.

The man, not wanting to displease the Great Leader, did as he asked.
The big night arrived with the musician stood at the fron... read more

. . . and he walks past a security checkpoint. One of the guards calls to him and says to stop, but he takes off running. The guard raises his rifle, takes aim, and shoots him dead in the street. The other guard stares at him.

"What did you do that for?" he asks.

"Curfew violation," t... read more

He’s now the pole vault champion of South Korea.

Because it sounds like krap

... ruled by a pair of nuts.

It was a true Seoul searching journey.

His exact words were... "I can't complain"

Must not be all that bad there.

During the meeting, wanting to impress the Korean, the American ambassador started boasting.

"Last week, I was in London. I met the Olympic 1000 metres gold medallist.

The previous week, I was in Brussels. I met the world's leading mathematician.

The week before, I was in Paris.... read more

Because they all kept repeating "Coup, Coup."

Apologies if you're sick of Rhee posts.

The population of this country is 327 million.


76 million are retired.


That leaves 251 million to do the work. 


There are 48 million people who are permanently disabled.


Which leaves 203 million to do the work


There are 74 million chil... read more

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa .
Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe.
Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain.
Very hot, re... read more

Last week 9/10 doctors said Covid-19 was under control,



This week the stat went up to 9/9!

RUN-DMZ

"A little later, the huge guy walks back over to the little guy and karate chops him in the back. The huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from China."

The little guy leaves the bar, comes back and hits the huge guy on the back. The huge guy lies unconscious on the floor. The little guy te... read more

The directions say the medication must be taken with food.

I told him it was a Seouless thing to do

before everything goes south.

One of them is forever ruled by a jolly fat man who directs an entire race of short people to produce packages he can drop from the sky all over the world, and the other is the North Pole.

His advisors break out in applause. Meanwhile Donald Trump is watching this live on TV. He calls Kim Jong Un and asks him:

“How are you going to send people to the sun? It’s too hot!”

Kim Jong Un replies by saying to his advisors:

“What an idiot! We can send them at night!”
<... read more

Food

They have no rights

It was the end of my Korea

All because my maths teacher told me to carry pie to 3 dismal places.

In North Korea, power passes from grandfather to grandson.

In the USA, power passes from grandfather to grandfather.

A startled reporter shouted, “But the sun is thousands of degrees
Celsius. No one can get within 10 million miles of the sun!”

The audience was stunned at the reporter's brazen challenge and the room
fell into a long silence. But instead of having the
reporter arrested, Kim calmly re... read more

[Edit]: The sun shines brightly on our smiles and future as our glorious leaders bring us joy with their mighty military.

A one ton wonton won ten won.

They have named it K-Boom.

Because Kim Jong-un is supreme reader!

He looks for work everywhere but can’t find any, until after thorough searching he lands an interview at a car dealership. The man is interviewed by the boss, who not only has a poor grasp on English, but he also seems to have a very hard time getting his name right. The man tries to explain his nam... read more

Fake Noose?

Yes.

But depending on the speech, there may not be much freedom after the speech.

Sources report the new treatment involves injecting a bullet into the forehead of people infected with the virus.

...to Washington D.C. in order to bring peace, democracy and the rule of law to the troubled nation of United States of America.

Update at 11.48PM - 0 active Covid cases

The speech option was free

Kim Jung Un has said "The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea"

Because North Korea has no Seoul.

He's buying it and turning it into a Trump brand business

When my friend moved to North Korea, he knew his mail would be read by censors, so he told me: "Let's establish a code. If a letter you get from me is written in blue ink, it is true what I say. If it is written in red ink, it is false."
After a month, I got the first letter. Everything was wri... read more

Because everytime they try to pronounce ‟election” everyone starts to giggle

They’re hoping Santa will bring them all lumps of coal for Christmas.

There’s a Park everywhere I look!

On the bright side, that raised their GDP by 0.5%

They have always been on lockdown.

Because he doesn't have Seoul?

I guess you could say he’s my Seoul mate.

Oh wait, this *is* the place to post jokes, right?

New treatment involves shooting patients in the face, and has recorded a 100% success rate in getting rid of the virus.

The librarian says, "We don't have his book, but we have him."

It is executed perfectly

8:00AM - 1 case
8:30AM - 0 cases
9:00AM - 1 case
9:30AM - 0 cases
10:00AM - 1 case
10:30AM - 0 cases

Soul

Either Kim Jong ill or Kim Jong urn

everyone HerE is so hostiLe and Pleasant.

Of course I was named after him, I was born like 80 years after him.

12.01: 1


12.02: 0


13.16: 1


13.17: 0


16.24: 1


16.25: 0


...


...


...

I'm assuming that means like in a sandwich or something.

I ordered a Corona last night, the waiter had a Chinese guy come out of the kitchen and cough on me, I think there was something lost in translation.