North Korea: Kim Jong-Un announced at a news conference that North Korea would be landing a man on the sun within 10 years.

A startled reporter shouted, “But the sun is thousands of degrees
Celsius. No one can get within 10 million miles of the sun!”

The audience was stunned at the reporter's brazen challenge and the room
fell into a long silence. But instead of having the
reporter arrested, Kim calmly re...

Why did the north Korean flea to South Korea?

To find his Seoul mate

I asked my North Korean friend about how it feels like living in North Korea?

He replied, "Can't complain".

My wife and I are like the two Koreas

We'll never come together

Seoul, Korea is a very beautiful place.

There’s a Park everywhere I look!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between EA and North Korea?

North Korea didn't fuck up as many launches as EA

North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they’re brainwashed by the government and the media

But every American knows that America is the best country in the world

On a business trip to S.Korea

I ordered a Corona last night, the waiter had a Chinese guy come out of the kitchen and cough on me, I think there was something lost in translation.

We're in Trouble

The population of this country is 327 million.


76 million are retired.


That leaves 251 million to do the work. 


There are 48 million people who are permanently disabled.


Which leaves 203 million to do the work


There are 74 million chil...

A conductor in South Korea gets asked by Kim Jong-un to make a song.

So he stays up all night composing a song. The next day he gives it to Kim. Kim says this is awful this won’t inspire fear into our enemies. He says to the electric chair. So the man gets his final meal. He eats so spicy curry and then the next day goes to the chair. They do the normal electrocutio...

South Korea: My people have a voice! They can express their opinions

North Korea: Speak for yourself.

North Korea is threatening to send the US a Christmas present.

I don’t think anyone has told them about our return policy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Marine returns from duty in Iraq and is immediately reassigned to a remote location in Afghanistan.

That evening he arrives at his new post; a run down mosque in the middle of nowhere.

As he switches over with the marine currently stationed there, he realises there is no bed, no clean water, no toilet, just him, his weapon and the dirt on the floor.

The next morning he wakes up to fi...

The whole world should be worried that North Korea has a missile that can hit New York…

Because if it can make it there, it can make it anywhere!

A new law in Korea stating all dogs must be chipped is causing mayhem.

Most people prefer them mashed.

My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes.

It was the end of my Korea.

I'm still China find another job.

Kids in North Korea

One day they're using a pacifier and the next day their making one

There's a saying in Korea that a man should listen to the voices of three women.

Their mother, their wife, and the GPS lady.

It’s 1953 and a Korean military general says...

I think I need a korea-change.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fuck you Korea

100% true.
My friend works as a biosecurity agent at Auckland Airport and told me about a time when his Korean colleague, Alex, had to process a Chinese passenger with a thick accent.

Alex: "Is there anything in your bag we should be concerned about?"

Passenger - " Fuck you Korea!"<...

There was once a Musician in North Korea

One day, Kim Jong Un himself calls the musician and asks him to direct a concert for his entertainment. Not daring to say no to the Supreme Leader, he agreed.

So the man assembled the best orchestra in all of Korea to play the piece he composed for the Leader. However when it was time to perf...

90% of dogs in Korea are inbred...

I'm assuming that means like in a sandwich or something.

The leaders of Russia, North Korea and the United States fly up to the international space station...

Upon their arrival, they all marvel at the view of the earth from such magnificent heights. They begin to toss around ideas of ways they could all benefit from the ISS.

The Russian leader talks about all of the opportunities to use imaging to spy on people from outerspace. The other leaders ...

We are saddened to hear of the tragic loss that took place in North Korea's zoo today.

It appears that every animal has died of a mysterious illness, except for one. It's a shih tzu.

Why does North Korea excel at drawing straight lines?

Because they have a supreme ruler

A guy in North Korea is walking home after his day at work . . .

. . . and he walks past a security checkpoint. One of the guards calls to him and says to stop, but he takes off running. The guard raises his rifle, takes aim, and shoots him dead in the street. The other guard stares at him.

"What did you do that for?" he asks.

"Curfew violation," t...

An ant is lying in its deathbed in North Korea.

He calls his son and says he wanted to tell him something for a long time.

Son Ant : What is it dad?

Father Ant : I cannot say that in this god forbidden country we have to move immediately to France or Italy before i am dead.

Confused,the Son Ant made arrangements to move to Fr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

North Korea is participating in the olympics this year, but they won’t win.

Because all of their athletes that can run jump or swim are in south korea

I saw on the TV that Godzilla recently attacked South Korea and thousands are dead!

Really Seoul-crushing news.

What's the only drink size they allow in North Korea?

A supreme liter

If Donald Trump wants to destroy North Korea...

Perhaps he should move there and become their leader.

If you want to know why R&B music is not popular in North Korea...

...it's because they have no Seoul.

My friend invited me to a party in Korea

Didn’t know a Seoul

Why did the U.S send Cam Newton to North Korea?

So he could overthrow Kim Jong-Un

Why is everyone in North Korea illiterate?

Because there can only be one Supreme Reader.

It turns out North Korea has been naughty on purpose.

They’re hoping Santa will bring them all lumps of coal for Christmas.

Did anyone hear about the scandal in North Korea?

Me neither

All western rock classics are banned in North Korea.

Except ”Sweet Child in a Mine”

North Korea has a new war game

The North Korean state media just announced today that in the event of possible war all citizens are ordered to follow Donald Trump on Twitter, as there’s no way in hell he would risk losing 42 million followers

Why is North Korea so heartless?

because they have no seoul

ahahahah.. please laugh

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy is minding his own business, drinking at the bar, when a random Asian guy runs in and kicks the living shit out of him.

He's laying on the floor bleeding, and he says, "What the hell, buddy?"

The Asian guy replies, "That was Judo, from Japan!"

A few days later, the guy is quietly drinking again, and another Asian guy runs in and also beats him senseless.

He's lying on the floor and he groans, "W...

How does Kim Jong Un maintain power in North Korea and combat ED?

He puts on fake erections

If North Korea ever made propaganda rap, it would be K-RAP

The name is self-explanatory

Did you know North Korea's military marches to the left?

They have no rights

So a new commander arrives in Korea during the Korean War at the beginning of a Chinese offensive.

So a new commander arrives in Korea at the beginning of the Chinese offensive. Wanting to gain information on the enemy he looks around and asks a Marine,

“what are their tactics, how do they fight?”

The Marine responds,

“Well the Chinese Army likes to attack in very small gro...

While in North Korea they abducted Trump, and demanded the US give them a billion dollars or else . . . .

they would give him back.

My sister got pregnant in Korea. I asked her how it happened.

She told me:

*Ganbang Style*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Jong-un of North Korea has said he's going to destroy America

So Trump was livid saying "That's MY job, and I'm not going to just stand by and see an Asian snatch away another American job."

How is a hydrogen ion similar to North Korea?

They have no electrons.

North Korea bans sarcasm

What a great idea.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Usa, North Korea, and your boobs have in common?

They all deserve to be in better hands.

North Korea just announced it will host peace talks...

Between the United States and Canada.

Why isn't there any helium in North Korea?

Because helium can only be found in a free state.

Apparently North Korea only has 3 tv channels...

Kim Jong Un, Kim Jong Deux and Kim Jong Trois

Why is North Korea evil?

Because it's Seoul-less! ;D

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.

What is Korea's national herb?

Koreander

I hear medical care in North Korea is extremely cheap.

$5 for a bullet isn't that expensive.

I just read North Korea sentenced Trump to death by hanging for calling Kim Jong-un 'short and fat'.

Fake Noose?

US: Iraq, I heard you have weapon of mass destruction!

iraq: No we don't?

\*US invades Iraq*

US: Syria, I heard you have weapon of mass destruction!

Syria: No we don't!

\*US invades Syria*

US: North Korea, I heard you have weapon of mass destruction!

North Korea: Yeah? What's up with that?

US: No.. nothin...

I live in North Korea and I'm ready to tell the world what it's really like!

[Edit]: The sun shines brightly on our smiles and future as our glorious leaders bring us joy with their mighty military.

Why did Germany lose to Korea?

They played with no heart and Seoul.

What would war with Korea be like?

Seoul-crushing

Kim Jong-Un has promised a new clear future for North Korea.

Oops! Spelt ***nuclear*** wrong.

Kim Jung Un responds to why he doesn't let people leave North Korea.

Kim Jung Un has said "The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea"

Donald Trump finally revealed his plans to defeat North Korea

He's buying it and turning it into a Trump brand business

I was going to tell a joke about the leader of North Korea having a furniture fetish

But the punchline was uncomfortable.

I don't get why people say that North Korea is bad

My friend lives there, and he can't complain about anything.

Why is Korea the greenest county in the world?

It's full of Parks.

Thanks to the tireless work of an elder statesman, possibly one of the most dignified and smartest people in the process, we are starting to normalize relations with North Korea

Let’s all give Dennis Rodman a big hand.

I don't know why North Korea needs a nuclear bomb...

...their weather machine seems to be working just fine

I have mixed opinions on Asia as a whole.

For starters, while South Korea is absolutely lively, the rest of Asia is completely Seoulless!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was an American Soldier at the Neutral Zone in Korea

The American Soldier was a little bored and he seen a North Korean soldier so he asked "Do you speak english?" No response

So he turned to the south and asked a South Korean soldier if he knew english and he got no response back.

The American Soldier thought maybe they knew sign langu...

Why is North Korea's literacy rate so high?

Because they have a supreme reader

North-Korea isn't too bad of a country

They can't complain

How do you know the US isn't going to attack North Korea?

They didn't arm them first.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

North Korea is calling for war.

In other news, it's Saturday.

The Geography of a Woman

The Geography of a Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is li...

What do you call a Jedi from Korea?

Luke Skywalker, the Choson One.

I'll be so demoralised if North Korea decides to invade South Korea...

It'd be Seoul destroying

What did Kim Jong-Un say when he left South Korea?

Peace.

Letter from North Korea

When my friend moved to North Korea, he knew his mail would be read by censors, so he told me: "Let's establish a code. If a letter you get from me is written in blue ink, it is true what I say. If it is written in red ink, it is false."
After a month, I got the first letter. Everything was wri...

No wonder North Korea's so evil...

It's hard to be merciful if you have no Seoul

Did you know that in North Korea, the soldiers always march to the left?

That's because there are no rights.

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