Why is North Korea worse than South Korea?

They have no Seoul .

Why does North Korea excel at drawing straight lines?

Because they have a supreme ruler.

North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they’re brainwashed by the government and the media

But every American knows that America is the best country in the world

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between EA and North Korea?

North Korea didn't fuck up as many launches as EA

I asked my friend from North Korea how life is like there

He said "I can't complain"

90% of dogs in Korea are inbred...

I'm assuming that means like in a sandwich or something.

The whole world should be worried that North Korea has a missile that can hit New York…

Because if it can make it there, it can make it anywhere!

A new law in Korea stating all dogs must be chipped is causing mayhem.

Most people prefer them mashed.

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A Marine returns from duty in Iraq and is immediately reassigned to a remote location in Afghanistan.

That evening he arrives at his new post; a run down mosque in the middle of nowhere.

As he switches over with the marine currently stationed there, he realises there is no bed, no clean water, no toilet, just him, his weapon and the dirt on the floor.

The next morning he wakes up to fi...

There was once a Musician in North Korea

One day, Kim Jong Un himself calls the musician and asks him to direct a concert for his entertainment. Not daring to say no to the Supreme Leader, he agreed.

So the man assembled the best orchestra in all of Korea to play the piece he composed for the Leader. However when it was time to perf...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fuck you Korea

100% true.
My friend works as a biosecurity agent at Auckland Airport and told me about a time when his Korean colleague, Alex, had to process a Chinese passenger with a thick accent.

Alex: "Is there anything in your bag we should be concerned about?"

Passenger - " Fuck you Korea!"<...

There's a saying in Korea that a man should listen to the voices of three women.

Their mother, their wife, and the GPS lady.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

North Korea is participating in the olympics this year, but they won’t win.

Because all of their athletes that can run jump or swim are in south korea

The leaders of Russia, North Korea and the United States fly up to the international space station...

Upon their arrival, they all marvel at the view of the earth from such magnificent heights. They begin to toss around ideas of ways they could all benefit from the ISS.

The Russian leader talks about all of the opportunities to use imaging to spy on people from outerspace. The other leaders ...

An ant is lying in its deathbed in North Korea.

He calls his son and says he wanted to tell him something for a long time.

Son Ant : What is it dad?

Father Ant : I cannot say that in this god forbidden country we have to move immediately to France or Italy before i am dead.

Confused,the Son Ant made arrangements to move to Fr...

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A guy is minding his own business, drinking at the bar, when a random Asian guy runs in and kicks the living shit out of him.

He's laying on the floor bleeding, and he says, "What the hell, buddy?"

The Asian guy replies, "That was Judo, from Japan!"

A few days later, the guy is quietly drinking again, and another Asian guy runs in and also beats him senseless.

He's lying on the floor and he groans, "W...

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There was a band conductor who also right songs in North Korea

Sorry for the typo in the title but..

His name was Pok. He was quite famous in the industry so one day, Kim Jong Un approached him.

“Pok, write me an orchestra piece and play it for me with your group”, said Kim. Pok did, after a month, the private show was held.

Sadly, it was s...

I saw on the TV that Godzilla recently attacked South Korea and thousands are dead!

Really Seoul-crushing news.

A guy in North Korea is walking home after his day at work . . .

. . . and he walks past a security checkpoint. One of the guards calls to him and says to stop, but he takes off running. The guard raises his rifle, takes aim, and shoots him dead in the street. The other guard stares at him.

"What did you do that for?" he asks.

"Curfew violation," t...

Why did the U.S send Cam Newton to North Korea?

So he could overthrow Kim Jong-Un

My friend invited me to a party in Korea

Didn’t know a Seoul

My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes.

It was the end of my Korea.

I'm still China find another job.

Did anyone hear about the scandal in North Korea?

Me neither

All western rock classics are banned in North Korea.

Except ”Sweet Child in a Mine”

If you want to know why R&B music is not popular in North Korea...

...it's because they have no Seoul.

If Donald Trump wants to destroy North Korea...

Perhaps he should move there and become their leader.

It turns out North Korea has been naughty on purpose.

They’re hoping Santa will bring them all lumps of coal for Christmas.

While in North Korea they abducted Trump, and demanded the US give them a billion dollars or else . . . .

they would give him back.

What did Kim Jong Un say when his father died?

His Korea was over...

How does Kim Jong Un maintain power in North Korea and combat ED?

He puts on fake erections

US: Iraq, I heard you have weapon of mass destruction!

iraq: No we don't?

\*US invades Iraq*

US: Syria, I heard you have weapon of mass destruction!

Syria: No we don't!

\*US invades Syria*

US: North Korea, I heard you have weapon of mass destruction!

North Korea: Yeah? What's up with that?

US: No.. nothin...

North Korea has a new war game

The North Korean state media just announced today that in the event of possible war all citizens are ordered to follow Donald Trump on Twitter, as there’s no way in hell he would risk losing 42 million followers

So a new commander arrives in Korea during the Korean War at the beginning of a Chinese offensive.

So a new commander arrives in Korea at the beginning of the Chinese offensive. Wanting to gain information on the enemy he looks around and asks a Marine,

“what are their tactics, how do they fight?”

The Marine responds,

“Well the Chinese Army likes to attack in very small gro...

What’s the best meal in North Korea?

Any meal

If North Korea ever made propaganda rap, it would be K-RAP

The name is self-explanatory

Why is everyone in North Korea illiterate?

Because there can only be one Supreme Reader.

North Korea has one of the lowest literacy rates in the world...

That's why they all elect a "nationar reader"

North Korea will send man to Sun in 10 years

Kim Jong-un announced in a news conference that North Korea would be sending a man to the sun within ten years!

A reporter said - "But the sun is very hot. How can your man land on the sun?"

There was a stunned silence. Nobody knew how to react.

Then Kim Jong-un quietly answer...

How is a hydrogen ion similar to North Korea?

They have no electrons.

What's the only drink size they allow in North Korea?

A supreme liter

Did you know North Korea's military marches to the left?

They have no rights

Many things used to be illegal in North Korea.

Now they're unlegal.

Apparently North Korea only has 3 tv channels...

Kim Jong Un, Kim Jong Deux and Kim Jong Trois

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Usa, North Korea, and your boobs have in common?

They all deserve to be in better hands.

Why is North Korea so heartless?

because they have no seoul

ahahahah.. please laugh

Why did North Korea fail its driving test?

It has no concept of rights

I have mixed opinions on Asia as a whole.

For starters, while South Korea is absolutely lively, the rest of Asia is completely Seoulless!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Jong-un of North Korea has said he's going to destroy America

So Trump was livid saying "That's MY job, and I'm not going to just stand by and see an Asian snatch away another American job."

Why isn't there any helium in North Korea?

Because helium can only be found in a free state.

North Korea just announced it will host peace talks...

Between the United States and Canada.

Why is North Korea evil?

Because it's Seoul-less! ;D

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.

I just read North Korea sentenced Trump to death by hanging for calling Kim Jong-un 'short and fat'.

Fake Noose?

Why did Germany lose to Korea?

They played with no heart and Seoul.

The Geography of a Woman

The Geography of a Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is li...

I hear medical care in North Korea is extremely cheap.

$5 for a bullet isn't that expensive.

What is Korea's national herb?

Koreander

I was going to tell a joke about the leader of North Korea having a furniture fetish

But the punchline was uncomfortable.

Kim Jong Un today announced he's going to dictate in the South instead.

He said he fancied a Korea change.

I live in North Korea and I'm ready to tell the world what it's really like!

[Edit]: The sun shines brightly on our smiles and future as our glorious leaders bring us joy with their mighty military.

Kim Jung Un responds to why he doesn't let people leave North Korea.

Kim Jung Un has said "The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea"

Did you hear about the guy that got off scot-free after being accused of selling national secrets to North Korea?

There was no crime or treason to it.

What would war with Korea be like?

Seoul-crushing

Thanks to the tireless work of an elder statesman, possibly one of the most dignified and smartest people in the process, we are starting to normalize relations with North Korea

Let’s all give Dennis Rodman a big hand.

Donald Trump finally revealed his plans to defeat North Korea

He's buying it and turning it into a Trump brand business

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The county's eldest man had just turn a 100 years old and local tv was reporting on the event...

The reporter had her crew set up in the living room of the retirement home where the man, born in 1919, was watching days pass by.

She sat on a chair in front of him, ready to start taping the feel-good segment of the night's local news.

"I'm with mister James Woodson, our county's eld...

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There was an American Soldier at the Neutral Zone in Korea

The American Soldier was a little bored and he seen a North Korean soldier so he asked "Do you speak english?" No response

So he turned to the south and asked a South Korean soldier if he knew english and he got no response back.

The American Soldier thought maybe they knew sign langu...

I don't get why people say that North Korea is bad

My friend lives there, and he can't complain about anything.

North-Korea isn't too bad of a country

They can't complain

I don't know why North Korea needs a nuclear bomb...

...their weather machine seems to be working just fine

We're in trouble

The population of this country is 300 million.


160 million are retired.


That leaves 140 million to do the work. 


There are 85 million in school.


Which leaves 55 million to do the work.


Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal govern...

Kim Jong-Un has promised a new clear future for North Korea.

Oops! Spelt ***nuclear*** wrong.

Why is Korea the greenest county in the world?

It's full of Parks.

What did Kim Jong-Un say when he left South Korea?

Peace.

What do you call a Jedi from Korea?

Luke Skywalker, the Choson One.

A Frenchman and his two sons become the dictators of North Korea.

Their names? Kim-Jong Un, Kim-Jong Deux and Kim-Jong Trois.

(I'm sorry if not original it just came to me)

You know why North Korea won't meet for the nuclear summit?

They haven't updated their privacy policy.

How do you know the US isn't going to attack North Korea?

They didn't arm them first.

Why is North Korea's literacy rate so high?

Because they have a supreme reader

Finally peace in Korea...

And all it took was the Un and the Moon coming together.

I'll be so demoralised if North Korea decides to invade South Korea...

It'd be Seoul destroying

North Korea changes its time zone to match South Korea

Pyong-GOOOOOOOONNNNGGGG

Did you know that in North Korea, the soldiers always march to the left?

That's because there are no rights.

What did the leaders of China and N. Korea order for lunch at their meeting

Kim-Xi

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A political joke that makes everyone laugh.

One day, North Korea decides that they wish to invade America by destroying it from the inside. They decided to scrap the idea when they realized that there is an entire political party already trying to do that.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

North Korea is calling for war.

In other news, it's Saturday.

No wonder North Korea's so evil...

It's hard to be merciful if you have no Seoul

Korean joke

The number of South Korea's boys band singers is enough to defeat North Korea's entire army.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2 Congressmen, 2 rednecks, and 2 tech guys from Silicon Valley go to North Korea . . .

So these 2 Congressmen decided to make a goodwill trip to North Korea. To show the wide range of cultures in the U.S., they took a couple redneck guys from Mississippi and a couple of tech savvy guys from California. After a short tour, they were thrown in prison for not having proper credentials....

Letter from North Korea

When my friend moved to North Korea, he knew his mail would be read by censors, so he told me: "Let's establish a code. If a letter you get from me is written in blue ink, it is true what I say. If it is written in red ink, it is false."
After a month, I got the first letter. Everything was wri...

Why in current times North Korea is still up and running?

Because nothing is impossible for Kim...

A wife is like north korea

You never really understand whats going on with her

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