Korea Jokes

North Koreans can’t tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can’t tell if their leader is dead serious.

He asks a student "Who is your father?

The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father."

Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"

The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of... read more

They have no Seoul .

During a live interview with Kim Jong-un, a reporter asked, "the Sun is very hot! How did you land a man?" Kim proudly replied, "we launch at night!"

Meanwhile, Trump tweeted while watching the live, "Haha what an idiot! There is no Sun at night!"

The North Korean state media just announced today that in the event of possible war all citizens are ordered to follow Donald Trump on Twitter, as there’s no way in hell he would risk losing 42 million followers

He responded, “can’t complain.”

...because if it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.

What a great idea.

I think he might be my Seoulmate

My Korea is over

A supreme liter

Perhaps he should move there and become their leader.

Oops! Spelt ***nuclear*** wrong.

Kim Jong-un announced in a news conference that North Korea would be sending a man to the sun within ten years!

A reporter said - "But the sun is very hot. How can your man land on the sun?"

There was a stunned silence. Nobody knew how to react.

Then Kim Jong-un quietly answer... read more

Lee Kim Park

One day he was called upon Kim Jong-Un himself to compose a piece of music and have the great North Korean orchestra play it to him in the humble auditorium.

The man, not wanting to displease the Great Leader, did as he asked.
The big night arrived with the musician stood at the fron... read more

She didn't win gold but her execution was flawless.

He’s now the pole vault champion of South Korea.

... ruled by a pair of nuts.

Because it sounds like krap

That is why I am glad to live in the greatest country in the world, The United States of America.

His exact words were... "I can't complain"

Must not be all that bad there.

And all it took was the Un and the Moon coming together.

. . . and he walks past a security checkpoint. One of the guards calls to him and says to stop, but he takes off running. The guard raises his rifle, takes aim, and shoots him dead in the street. The other guard stares at him.

"What did you do that for?" he asks.

"Curfew violation," t... read more

During the meeting, wanting to impress the Korean, the American ambassador started boasting.

"Last week, I was in London. I met the Olympic 1000 metres gold medallist.

The previous week, I was in Brussels. I met the world's leading mathematician.

The week before, I was in Paris.... read more

Last week 9/10 doctors said Covid-19 was under control,



This week the stat went up to 9/9!

It was a true Seoul searching journey.

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa .
Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe.
Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain.
Very hot, re... read more

It was the end of my Korea

Because they all kept repeating "Coup, Coup."

before everything goes south.

The caption reads: Several pigs surrounding Dear Leader (3rd from left)

A startled reporter shouted, “But the sun is thousands of degrees
Celsius. No one can get within 10 million miles of the sun!”

The audience was stunned at the reporter's brazen challenge and the room
fell into a long silence. But instead of having the
reporter arrested, Kim calmly re... read more

Because North Korea has no Seoul.

The population of this country is 327 million.


76 million are retired.


That leaves 251 million to do the work. 


There are 48 million people who are permanently disabled.


Which leaves 203 million to do the work


There are 74 million chil... read more

The directions say the medication must be taken with food.

When my friend moved to North Korea, he knew his mail would be read by censors, so he told me: "Let's establish a code. If a letter you get from me is written in blue ink, it is true what I say. If it is written in red ink, it is false."
After a month, I got the first letter. Everything was wri... read more

RUN-DMZ

Food

They have no rights

In North Korea, power passes from grandfather to grandson.

In the USA, power passes from grandfather to grandfather.

I told him it was a Seouless thing to do

One of them is forever ruled by a jolly fat man who directs an entire race of short people to produce packages he can drop from the sky all over the world, and the other is the North Pole.

Because Kim Jong-un is supreme reader!

It'd be Seoul destroying

How do we get Kim Jong Un back to being normal?

Press Ctrl+Z

North Koreans have no Seoul.

Thought of this very early in the morning waiting to board a plane.

Apologies if you're sick of Rhee posts.

Yes.

But depending on the speech, there may not be much freedom after the speech.

There’s a Park everywhere I look!

8:00 am: 0
9:15 am: 1
9:16 am: 0
10:16 am: 0
11:45 am: 1
11:46 am: 0

They seem to have found the cure to deal with the corono virus! 🦠

They have always been on lockdown.

The speech option was free

Oh wait, this *is* the place to post jokes, right?

[edited] everything is grand and prosperous and USA is smelly

One day they're using a pacifier and the next day their making one

We live in Korea and gave our son my wife's last name 모 (pronounced 'mo').

I got to choose his English name so I said we should call him Lester.

So when I go around and introduce my child I could say

"This is our child 모 Lester"

Because it's Seoul-less! ;D

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.

Kim Jong Il and Vladimir Putin are having a summit meeting in Moscow. During a break, they’re bored, and they decide to take a bet to see whose bodyguards are more loyal. Putin is on the 20th floor and calls on his bodyguard Ivan, opens the window, and says: “Ivan, jump!” Sobbing, Ivan says: “Mr. Pr... read more

He looks for work everywhere but can’t find any, until after thorough searching he lands an interview at a car dealership. The man is interviewed by the boss, who not only has a poor grasp on English, but he also seems to have a very hard time getting his name right. The man tries to explain his nam... read more

I'm assuming that means like in a sandwich or something.

Either Kim Jong ill or Kim Jong urn

Sources report the new treatment involves injecting a bullet into the forehead of people infected with the virus.

[Edit]: The sun shines brightly on our smiles and future as our glorious leaders bring us joy with their mighty military.

I ordered a Corona last night, the waiter had a Chinese guy come out of the kitchen and cough on me, I think there was something lost in translation.

He's buying it and turning it into a Trump brand business

Because he doesn't have Seoul?

You never really understand whats going on with her

Guess you could call him my Seoul mate.

They’re hoping Santa will bring them all lumps of coal for Christmas.

12.01: 1


12.02: 0


13.16: 1


13.17: 0


16.24: 1


16.25: 0


...


...


...

New treatment involves shooting patients in the face, and has recorded a 100% success rate in getting rid of the virus.

Kim Jung Un has said "The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea"

Hopefully the USA will follow suit, and have their president deoranged.