What’s the difference between North Korea and the US?

North Koreans can’t tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can’t tell if their leader is dead serious.

North Korea Covid Count

9:00am : 1

9:10am : 0

9:20am : 1

9:30am :0

Kim Jong Un proudly tells his advisors:“North Korea will be the first country to send people to the sun!”

His advisors break out in applause. Meanwhile Donald Trump is watching this live on TV. He calls Kim Jong Un and asks him:

“How are you going to send people to the sun? It’s too hot!”

Kim Jong Un replies by saying to his advisors:

“What an idiot! We can send them at night!”
<...

Why is North Korea so good at geometry?

Because they have a supreme ruler!

I asked my friend in North Korea how he honestly feels about living there?

He said, "Can't complain."

I asked my North Korean friend, “what’s it like to live in North Korea?”

He responded, “can’t complain.”

North Korea is handling Covid surprisingly well

Last week 9/10 doctors said Covid-19 was under control,



This week the stat went up to 9/9!

What type of music is played in every shoe store in South Korea’s capital city?

Soul

Breaking News in North Korea: 11.47PM - 1 active Covid case detected !

Update at 11.48PM - 0 active Covid cases

M‌‌y Korea‌‌n frien‌‌d die‌‌d yesterday

S‌‌o Yung...

Can everyone please stop making North Korea jokes?

My friend went there for a vacation, and he's having so much fun that he hasn't remembered to keep in touch with us for about 7 years now.

Coronavirus cases in North Korea update:

8:00: 1

8:10: 0

9:23: 1

9:28: 0

0:13: 1

0:20 0

1:47: 1

1:55: 0

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Marine returns from duty in Iraq and is immediately reassigned to a remote location in Afghanistan.

That evening he arrives at his new post; a run down mosque in the middle of nowhere.

As he switches over with the marine currently stationed there, he realises there is no bed, no clean water, no toilet, just him, his weapon and the dirt on the floor.

The next morning he wakes up to fi...

What does the F in North Korea stand for?

Food

What would south korea do if the devil asked them for a sacrifice?

They would give him their seoul.

North Korea has the fastest internet connection

Because only one person using it.

What did Kim Jong-Un say yesterday before he died?

My Korea is over

In South Korea, you can always find a party.

In North Korea, the party always find you.

Why was google translate banned in North-Korea?

The speech option was free

North Korea’s leader has been suspiciously absent, arousing concerns from his followers who all wonder...

...Is Kim Jong ill?

I am married to a Korean wife and she told me I get to name our son's English name

We live in Korea and gave our son my wife's last name 모 (pronounced 'mo').

I got to choose his English name so I said we should call him Lester.

So when I go around and introduce my child I could say

"This is our child 모 Lester"

I went to visit Korea with a friend

Guess you could call him my Seoul mate.

My mom said I was named after my grandfather—a war hero who died in Korea.

Of course I was named after him, I was born like 80 years after him.

What do they call protesters in North Korea???

Dead

BREAKING NEWS: The leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, is brain-dead following an invasive medical procedure.

Officials praise the regime for finding common grounds with the US.

Did you hear about the guy that met his wife in Korea?

They were Seoul mates

Obama once visited North Korea and he asked Kim Yong Un: "Do you ever have elections?" (NSFW)

Kim replied: "Yes I have elections evely molning!"

Official Coronavirus Count over time in North Korea

12.01: 1


12.02: 0


13.16: 1


13.17: 0


16.24: 1


16.25: 0


...


...


...

There are two possibilities in North Korea

Either Kim Jong ill or Kim Jong urn

North Korea: Kim Jong-Un announced at a news conference that North Korea would be landing a man on the sun within 10 years.

A startled reporter shouted, “But the sun is thousands of degrees
Celsius. No one can get within 10 million miles of the sun!”

The audience was stunned at the reporter's brazen challenge and the room
fell into a long silence. But instead of having the
reporter arrested, Kim calmly re...

North Korea has made a plan to combat COVID-19

It is executed perfectly

BREAKING: Cure for corona has been discovered in North Korea

New treatment involves shooting patients in the face, and has recorded a 100% success rate in getting rid of the virus.

News headline indicates there's been a zombie outbreak in North Korea

Headline: Kim Jong, Un-Dead

My boss fired me for making jokes about Asians again

It was the end of my Korea

Visited North Korea over the summer, but had to leave one of my bags there.

On the bright side, that raised their GDP by 0.5%

BREAKING: North Korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery.

They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive

North Korea providing updated coronavirus case numbers every 30 minutes today -

8:00AM - 1 case
8:30AM - 0 cases
9:00AM - 1 case
9:30AM - 0 cases
10:00AM - 1 case
10:30AM - 0 cases

Seoul, Korea is a very beautiful place.

There’s a Park everywhere I look!

North Korea has discovered the most Effective vaccine for Covid-19

They are calling it " One Bullet Vaccine "

North Korea discovered a capsule that stops Corona Virus

45 ACP capsule

North Korea COVID19 update today.

8:00 am: 0
9:15 am: 1
9:16 am: 0
10:16 am: 0
11:45 am: 1
11:46 am: 0

They seem to have found the cure to deal with the corono virus! 🦠

Due to COVID-19, North Korea has shut down all of its air and railway routes across its borders with China, and is keeping all foreigners arriving in the country via China isolated for up to one month.

TIL People are trying to get into North Korea.

On a business trip to S.Korea

I ordered a Corona last night, the waiter had a Chinese guy come out of the kitchen and cough on me, I think there was something lost in translation.

My wife and I are like the two Koreas

We'll never come together

North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they’re brainwashed by the government and the media

But every American knows that America is the best country in the world

The whole world should be worried that North Korea has a missile that can hit New York…

Because if it can make it there, it can make it anywhere!

3 people died and went to Hell...

One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from North Korea.

The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from but they will be charged.

The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20....

We're in Trouble

The population of this country is 327 million.


76 million are retired.


That leaves 251 million to do the work. 


There are 48 million people who are permanently disabled.


Which leaves 203 million to do the work


There are 74 million chil...

North Korea is threatening to send the US a Christmas present.

I don’t think anyone has told them about our return policy.

Russia has 11 time zones...

North Korea has only one...

Kim Zone

South Korea: My people have a voice! They can express their opinions

North Korea: Speak for yourself.

A couple of years ago...

one night, I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my Korean roommate, Cho, barged into the porch out of nowhere, tripped and fell over, breaking a glass table with his face. Totally ruined the mood. Now, I didn't know Cho THAT well, don't even remember where he was from in Korea, but I put my ...

90% of dogs in Korea are inbred...

I'm assuming that means like in a sandwich or something.

What's the only drink size they allow in North Korea?

A supreme liter

A guy in North Korea is walking home after his day at work . . .

. . . and he walks past a security checkpoint. One of the guards calls to him and says to stop, but he takes off running. The guard raises his rifle, takes aim, and shoots him dead in the street. The other guard stares at him.

"What did you do that for?" he asks.

"Curfew violation," t...

There was once a Musician in North Korea

One day, Kim Jong Un himself calls the musician and asks him to direct a concert for his entertainment. Not daring to say no to the Supreme Leader, he agreed.

So the man assembled the best orchestra in all of Korea to play the piece he composed for the Leader. However when it was time to perf...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Vladamir Putin, Hitler , and Kim Jong Un all die and go to hell.

While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it's for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.
Next up, Hitler ca...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fuck you Korea

100% true.
My friend works as a biosecurity agent at Auckland Airport and told me about a time when his Korean colleague, Alex, had to process a Chinese passenger with a thick accent.

Alex: "Is there anything in your bag we should be concerned about?"

Passenger - " Fuck you Korea!"<...

There's a saying in Korea that a man should listen to the voices of three women.

Their mother, their wife, and the GPS lady.

A North Korean Soldier Walks Into A Bar

The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The North Korean soldier replies, "Can't complain!"

Four men are standing on a street corner...

...one is from Russia, one from North Korea, one from Dubai, and one from New York.

A reporter comes upon them standing there and says, "Excuse me, what do you think about the meat shortage?"

The man from Russia says, "What's meat?"
The man from North Korea says, "What's think?"...

A new law in Korea stating all dogs must be chipped is causing mayhem.

Most people prefer them mashed.

The leaders of Russia, North Korea and the United States fly up to the international space station...

Upon their arrival, they all marvel at the view of the earth from such magnificent heights. They begin to toss around ideas of ways they could all benefit from the ISS.

The Russian leader talks about all of the opportunities to use imaging to spy on people from outerspace. The other leaders ...

If Donald Trump wants to destroy North Korea...

Perhaps he should move there and become their leader.

North Korea has a new war game

The North Korean state media just announced today that in the event of possible war all citizens are ordered to follow Donald Trump on Twitter, as there’s no way in hell he would risk losing 42 million followers

My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes.

It was the end of my Korea.

I'm still China find another job.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Jong-un has unfortunately died and the North Korean subordinates gathered for a serious meeting.

After hours of discussion, they decided it'd be best to replace him with a look alike to fool the foreign leaders. A Kim Jong-un look alike contest was organised and the winner was to be selected to rule Korea.

Fliers and posters of the contest was all over North Korea and a majority of the...

Why is everyone in North Korea illiterate?

Because there can only be one Supreme Reader.

After I botched a surgery, the entire government is after me and I lost my job.

My Korea went south after that.

An ant is lying in its deathbed in North Korea.

He calls his son and says he wanted to tell him something for a long time.

Son Ant : What is it dad?

Father Ant : I cannot say that in this god forbidden country we have to move immediately to France or Italy before i am dead.

Confused,the Son Ant made arrangements to move to Fr...

It turns out North Korea has been naughty on purpose.

They’re hoping Santa will bring them all lumps of coal for Christmas.

Why is North Korea so heartless?

because they have no seoul

ahahahah.. please laugh

I saw on the TV that Godzilla recently attacked South Korea and thousands are dead!

Really Seoul-crushing news.

Call me a racist if you want, but South of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

I am thankful every day that I live in North Korea

How many doubles does Kim Jong-un has?

None, there is not enough food in North Korea for second Kim Jong-un.

A sociopathic egomaniac...

A sociopathic egomaniac authoritarian leader accused of causing the deaths of tens of thousands is brain dead. Meanwhile in North Korea, Kim Jong Un is reported to be in critical condition.

If you want to know why R&B music is not popular in North Korea...

...it's because they have no Seoul.

Kim Jong-un's doctors...

Probably fancy a Korea change

My friend invited me to a party in Korea

Didn’t know a Seoul

Why did the U.S send Cam Newton to North Korea?

So he could overthrow Kim Jong-Un

Did anyone hear about the scandal in North Korea?

Me neither

All western rock classics are banned in North Korea.

Except ”Sweet Child in a Mine”

What’s the best meal in North Korea?

Any meal

Did you know North Korea's military marches to the left?

They have no rights

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Jong-un of North Korea has said he's going to destroy America

So Trump was livid saying "That's MY job, and I'm not going to just stand by and see an Asian snatch away another American job."

North Korea bans sarcasm

What a great idea.

How did Ray Charles travel in Korea?

He took the Seoul Train of course.

How does Kim Jong Un maintain power in North Korea and combat ED?

He puts on fake erections

If North Korea ever made propaganda rap, it would be K-RAP

The name is self-explanatory

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Usa, North Korea, and your boobs have in common?

They all deserve to be in better hands.

While in North Korea they abducted Trump, and demanded the US give them a billion dollars or else . . . .

they would give him back.

Why is North Korea evil?

Because it's Seoul-less! ;D

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.

I live in North Korea and I'm ready to tell the world what it's really like!

[Edit]: The sun shines brightly on our smiles and future as our glorious leaders bring us joy with their mighty military.

North Korea just announced it will host peace talks...

Between the United States and Canada.

I just read North Korea sentenced Trump to death by hanging for calling Kim Jong-un 'short and fat'.

Fake Noose?

Kim Jung Un responds to why he doesn't let people leave North Korea.

Kim Jung Un has said "The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea"

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