What's it like living in North Korea?

Can't complain.

My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes

It was the end of my Korea

There was once a Musician in North Korea

One day, Kim Jong Un himself calls the musician and asks him to direct a concert for his entertainment. Not daring to say no to the Supreme Leader, he agreed.

So the man assembled the best orchestra in all of Korea to play the piece he composed for the Leader. However when it was time to perf...

Know why North Koreans are so good at measuring stuff?

They have a supreme ruler

What is the difference between North Korea and South Korea?

South Korea has a Seoul

While in North Korea they abducted Trump, and demanded the US give them a billion dollars or else . . . .

they would give him back.

The leaders of Russia, North Korea and the United States fly up to the international space station...

Upon their arrival, they all marvel at the view of the earth from such magnificent heights. They begin to toss around ideas of ways they could all benefit from the ISS.

The Russian leader talks about all of the opportunities to use imaging to spy on people from outerspace. The other leaders ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a band conductor who also right songs in North Korea

Sorry for the typo in the title but..

His name was Pok. He was quite famous in the industry so one day, Kim Jong Un approached him.

“Pok, write me an orchestra piece and play it for me with your group”, said Kim. Pok did, after a month, the private show was held.

Sadly, it was s...

If you want to know why R&B music is not popular in North Korea...

...it's because they have no Seoul.

Why did the U.S send Cam Newton to North Korea?

So he could overthrow Kim Jong-Un

Korean joke

The number of South Korea's boys band singers is enough to defeat North Korea's entire army.

I asked my North Korean friend if life was good in North Korea.

He said: “I can’t complain.”

90% of dogs in Korea are inbred...

I'm assuming that means like in a sandwich or something.

If Donald Trump wants to destroy North Korea...

Perhaps he should move there and become their leader.

Apparently, North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York, which is a bit scary.

If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.

How did Ray Charles travel in Korea?

He took the Seoul Train of course.

A guy in North Korea is walking home after his day at work . . .

. . . and he walks past a security checkpoint. One of the guards calls to him and says to stop, but he takes off running. The guard raises his rifle, takes aim, and shoots him dead in the street. The other guard stares at him.

"What did you do that for?" he asks.

"Curfew violation," t...

North Korea has a new war game

The North Korean state media just announced today that in the event of possible war all citizens are ordered to follow Donald Trump on Twitter, as there’s no way in hell he would risk losing 42 million followers

Trump, Merkel and Kim Jong-un are in the Middle East being chased by ISIS:

Trump turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll pay you a million dollars!" The terrorists continued.

Then Merkel turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll give you German citizenship!" The terrorists still kept chasing.

Then Kim Jong-un turns and shouts: "You are a...

Did anyone hear about the scandal in North Korea?

Me neither

My friend invited me to a party in Korea

Didn’t know a Seoul

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between EA and North Korea?

North Korea didn’t fuck up as many launches as EA

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

North Korea is participating in the olympics this year, but they won’t win.

Because all of their athletes that can run jump or swim are in south korea

It turns out North Korea has been naughty on purpose.

They’re hoping Santa will bring them all lumps of coal for Christmas.

Why is North Korea so heartless?

because they have no seoul

ahahahah.. please laugh

Vladamir Putin, Donald Trump, and Kim Jong Un all die and go to hell.

While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it's for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.
Next Donald Trump c...

Many things used to be illegal in North Korea.

Now they're unlegal.

I asked ny friend from north Korea whats it like there

He looked me dead in the eyes and said as serious as you can be,
"Can't complain."

All western rock classics are banned in North Korea.

Except ”Sweet Child in a Mine”

How does Kim Jong Un maintain power in North Korea and combat ED?

He puts on fake erections

How big are water bottles in North Korea?

One supreme liter.

So a new commander arrives in Korea during the Korean War at the beginning of a Chinese offensive.

So a new commander arrives in Korea at the beginning of the Chinese offensive. Wanting to gain information on the enemy he looks around and asks a Marine,

“what are their tactics, how do they fight?”

The Marine responds,

“Well the Chinese Army likes to attack in very small gro...

Kim Jung Un responds to why he doesn't let people leave North Korea.

Kim Jung Un has said "The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea"

Why did North Korea's missile fail?

It had projectile disfunction.

What's the difference between North Koreans and Americans?

The Americans had a chance to vote.

I live in North Korea and I'm ready to tell the world what it's really like!

[Edit]: The sun shines brightly on our smiles and future as our glorious leaders bring us joy with their mighty military.

How is a hydrogen ion similar to North Korea?

They have no electrons.

Ok, so imagine there’s a catastrophe in Korea.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the ground and every floor of every building gets extremely hot. In fact, it’s so hot it melted through the bottoms of every shoe in its major city. Fortunately, this predicament stopped as soon as it started, and so nobody’s super hurt, though a fair number of people happe...

North Korea has one of the lowest literacy rates in the world...

That's why they all elect a "nationar reader"

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and try to figure out what nationality they are.

The American says, "Look at how free and independent they are, they must be Americans."

The Briton says, "What are you talking about, look...

An international conference was being held..

In which USA, North Korea, Europe and Africa were taking part.

The judge said,"I would like to hear your opinions about shortage of food in the rest of the world, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask us".

African president asked, "What is food?".

Europe asked, "Wha...

I don't get why people say that North Korea is bad

My friend lives there, and he can't complain about anything.

What is Korea's national herb?

Koreander

I hear medical care in North Korea is extremely cheap.

$5 for a bullet isn't that expensive.

A young Korean couple are lying in bed...

When the guy starts farting nonstop.

The girl, unable to take the smell, says, "Stop, that's disgusting!"

"Don't blame me", the guy says. "It's the dog."

"Oh, don't blame him", she says. "He was cooked perfectly."

I'll be so demoralised if North Korea decides to invade South Korea...

It'd be Seoul destroying

Kim Jong-Un has promised a new clear future for North Korea.

Oops! Spelt ***nuclear*** wrong.

What do you call a North Korean joke?

A Kim Jong Pun.

North Korea will send man to Sun in 10 years

Kim Jong-un announced in a news conference that North Korea would be sending a man to the sun within ten years!

A reporter said - "But the sun is very hot. How can your man land on the sun?"

There was a stunned silence. Nobody knew how to react.

Then Kim Jong-un quietly answer...

North Korea just announced it will host peace talks...

Between the United States and Canada.

Why is North Korea evil?

Because it's Seoul-less! ;D

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

North Korea is calling for war.

In other news, it's Saturday.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Jong-un of North Korea has said he's going to destroy America

So Trump was livid saying "That's MY job, and I'm not going to just stand by and see an Asian snatch away another American job."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Usa, North Korea, and your boobs have in common?

They all deserve to be in better hands.

Why did Germany lose to Korea?

They played with no heart and Seoul.

Did you know North Korea's military marches to the left?

They have no rights

How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb?

One, only **Glorious Leader** gets access to light bulbs

Did you hear about the guy that got off scot-free after being accused of selling national secrets to North Korea?

There was no crime or treason to it.

Apparently North Korea only has 3 tv channels...

Kim Jong Un, Kim Jong Deux and Kim Jong Trois

Why isn't there any helium in North Korea?

Because helium can only be found in a free state.

A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker ....

A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker are walking down the street.

A reporter comes up to them and says,
“Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?”

The Saudi says, “excuse me , what is this word shortage?”

The Russian says, “excuse me, what’s me...

In North Korea...

[edited] everything is grand and prosperous and USA is smelly

I was going to tell a joke about the leader of North Korea having a furniture fetish

But the punchline was uncomfortable.

I just read North Korea sentenced Trump to death by hanging for calling Kim Jong-un 'short and fat'.

Fake Noose?

Thanks to the tireless work of an elder statesman, possibly one of the most dignified and smartest people in the process, we are starting to normalize relations with North Korea

Let’s all give Dennis Rodman a big hand.

I just heard Kim Jong-Un has been nominated as the most literate person in all of North Korea

He is the Supweme Reader

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was an American Soldier at the Neutral Zone in Korea

The American Soldier was a little bored and he seen a North Korean soldier so he asked "Do you speak english?" No response

So he turned to the south and asked a South Korean soldier if he knew english and he got no response back.

The American Soldier thought maybe they knew sign langu...

What would war with Korea be like?

Seoul-crushing

Donald Trump finally revealed his plans to defeat North Korea

He's buying it and turning it into a Trump brand business

ISIS vs North Korea. Who would win?

everyone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Marine returns from duty in Iraq and is immediately reassigned to a remote location in Afghanistan.

That evening he arrives at his new post; a run down mosque in the middle of nowhere.

As he switches over with the marine currently stationed there, he realises there is no bed, no clean water, no toilet, just him, his weapon and the dirt on the floor.

The next morning he wakes up to f...

Ever wonder why North Korea doesn't have any Walmarts?

They only have Targets there.

What did Kim Jong-Un say when he left South Korea?

Peace.

Why is Korea the greenest county in the world?

It's full of Parks.

Finally peace in Korea...

And all it took was the Un and the Moon coming together.

What do you call a Jedi from Korea?

Luke Skywalker, the Choson One.

You know why North Korea won't meet for the nuclear summit?

They haven't updated their privacy policy.

I don't know why North Korea needs a nuclear bomb...

...their weather machine seems to be working just fine

What's North Korea's favourite rap group?

Run, DMZ!

What does "f" in "North Korea" stand for?

Freedom

Ever wonder why Kim Jong Un wants to switch from governing North Korea to South Korea?

He wants a Korea change.

What did the leaders of China and N. Korea order for lunch at their meeting

Kim-Xi

What's the difference between North Korea amd South Korea?

North Koreans have no Seoul.

Thought of this very early in the morning waiting to board a plane.

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