Know why North Koreans are so good at measuring stuff?

They have a supreme ruler

Korean joke

The number of South Korea's boys band singers is enough to defeat North Korea's entire army.

How does Kim Jong Un maintain power in North Korea and combat ED?

He puts on fake erections

All western rock classics are banned in North Korea.

Except ”Sweet Child in a Mine”

I always wondered when Korea would launch their nukes in the world.

And then it hit me.

I asked my North Korean friend how it was there

He said he couldnt complain

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What’s the difference between EA and North Korea?

North Korea didn’t fuck up as many launches as EA

Apparently, North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York, which is a bit scary.

If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.

A U.S. warship is conducting war exercises off the coast of N. Korea

The captain accidentally launches a live cruise missile at N. Korea. The missile strikes Pyongyang and kills Kim Jong Un. The captain goes on trial and is found guilty. President Trump attends the sentencing hearing due to its importance. The captain begs Trump for a pardon explaining that he killed...

If Donald Trump wants to destroy North Korea...

Perhaps he should move there and become their leader.

A guy asks a north korean "what's life like in north Korea?"

North Korean answers "I can't complain"

It turns out North Korea has been naughty on purpose.

They’re hoping Santa will bring them all lumps of coal for Christmas.

North Korea has a new war game

The North Korean state media just announced today that in the event of possible war all citizens are ordered to follow Donald Trump on Twitter, as there’s no way in hell he would risk losing 42 million followers

A guy in North Korea is walking home after his day at work . . .

. . . and he walks past a security checkpoint. One of the guards calls to him and says to stop, but he takes off running. The guard raises his rifle, takes aim, and shoots him dead in the street. The other guard stares at him.

"What did you do that for?" he asks.

"Curfew violation," t...

Did anyone hear about the scandal in North Korea?

Me neither

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

North Korea is participating in the olympics this year, but they won’t win.

Because all of their athletes that can run jump or swim are in south korea

If North Korea ever made propaganda rap, it would be K-RAP

The name is self-explanatory

What is the difference between North Korea and EA (Not repost)

North Kor

Ok, so imagine there’s a catastrophe in Korea.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, the ground and every floor of every building gets extremely hot. In fact, it’s so hot it melted through the bottoms of every shoe in its major city. Fortunately, this predicament stopped as soon as it started, and so nobody’s super hurt, though a fair number of people happe...

What’s the best meal in North Korea?

Any meal

Trump, Merkel and Kim Jong-un are in the Middle East being chased by ISIS:

Trump turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll pay you a million dollars!" The terrorists continued.

Then Merkel turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll give you German citizenship!" The terrorists still kept chasing.

Then Kim Jong-un turns and shouts: "You are a...

I asked ny friend from north Korea whats it like there

He looked me dead in the eyes and said as serious as you can be,
"Can't complain."

So a new commander arrives in Korea during the Korean War at the beginning of a Chinese offensive.

So a new commander arrives in Korea at the beginning of the Chinese offensive. Wanting to gain information on the enemy he looks around and asks a Marine,

“what are their tactics, how do they fight?”

The Marine responds,

“Well the Chinese Army likes to attack in very small gro...

Vladamir Putin, Donald Trump, and Kim Jong Un all die and go to hell.

While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it's for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.
Next Donald Trump c...

Many things used to be illegal in North Korea.

Now they're unlegal.

What is Korea's national herb?

Koreander

How is a hydrogen ion similar to North Korea?

They have no electrons.

In North Korea, you cannot throw fruit in the snow...

Because they do not have the right to freeze peach.

How big are water bottles in North Korea?

One supreme liter.

Why is North Korea so heartless?

because they have no seoul

ahahahah.. please laugh

Kim Jung Un responds to why he doesn't let people leave North Korea.

Kim Jung Un has said "The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea"

I hear medical care in North Korea is extremely cheap.

$5 for a bullet isn't that expensive.

Why did North Korea's missile fail?

It had projectile disfunction.

I live in North Korea and I'm ready to tell the world what it's really like!

[Edit]: The sun shines brightly on our smiles and future as our glorious leaders bring us joy with their mighty military.

What's the difference between North Koreans and Americans?

The Americans had a chance to vote.

Why isn't there democracy in North Korea?

Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle

My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes

It was the end of my Korea

I don't get why people say that North Korea is bad

My friend lives there, and he can't complain about anything.

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and try to figure out what nationality they are.

The American says, "Look at how free and independent they are, they must be Americans."

The Briton says, "What are you talking about, look...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do Usa, North Korea, and your boobs have in common?

They all deserve to be in better hands.

An international conference was being held..

In which USA, North Korea, Europe and Africa were taking part.

The judge said,"I would like to hear your opinions about shortage of food in the rest of the world, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask us".

African president asked, "What is food?".

Europe asked, "Wha...

North Korea just announced it will host peace talks...

Between the United States and Canada.

How do you get from North Korea to South Korea?

Run-DMZ

What do you call a North Korean joke?

A Kim Jong Pun.

I'll be so demoralised if North Korea decides to invade South Korea...

It'd be Seoul destroying

A young Korean couple are lying in bed...

When the guy starts farting nonstop.

The girl, unable to take the smell, says, "Stop, that's disgusting!"

"Don't blame me", the guy says. "It's the dog."

"Oh, don't blame him", she says. "He was cooked perfectly."

Why is North Korea evil?

Because it's Seoul-less! ;D

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.

I was going to tell a joke about the leader of North Korea having a furniture fetish

But the punchline was uncomfortable.

Kim Jong-Un has promised a new clear future for North Korea.

Oops! Spelt ***nuclear*** wrong.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Marine returns from duty in Iraq and is immediately reassigned to a remote location in Afghanistan.

That evening he arrives at his new post; a run down mosque in the middle of nowhere.

As he switches over with the marine currently stationed there, he realises there is no bed, no clean water, no toilet, just him, his weapon and the dirt on the floor.

The next morning he wakes up to f...

Why did Germany lose to Korea?

They played with no heart and Seoul.

North Korea will send man to Sun in 10 years

Kim Jong-un announced in a news conference that North Korea would be sending a man to the sun within ten years!

A reporter said - "But the sun is very hot. How can your man land on the sun?"

There was a stunned silence. Nobody knew how to react.

Then Kim Jong-un quietly answer...

Apparently North Korea only has 3 tv channels...

Kim Jong Un, Kim Jong Deux and Kim Jong Trois

Why isn't there any helium in North Korea?

Because helium can only be found in a free state.

Did you know North Korea's military marches to the left?

They have no rights

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

North Korea is calling for war.

In other news, it's Saturday.

Did you hear about the guy that got off scot-free after being accused of selling national secrets to North Korea?

There was no crime or treason to it.

Thanks to the tireless work of an elder statesman, possibly one of the most dignified and smartest people in the process, we are starting to normalize relations with North Korea

Let’s all give Dennis Rodman a big hand.

North-Korea isn't too bad of a country

They can't complain

I just read North Korea sentenced Trump to death by hanging for calling Kim Jong-un 'short and fat'.

Fake Noose?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

There was an American Soldier at the Neutral Zone in Korea

The American Soldier was a little bored and he seen a North Korean soldier so he asked "Do you speak english?" No response

So he turned to the south and asked a South Korean soldier if he knew english and he got no response back.

The American Soldier thought maybe they knew sign langu...

I just heard Kim Jong-Un has been nominated as the most literate person in all of North Korea

He is the Supweme Reader

How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb?

One, only **Glorious Leader** gets access to light bulbs

South Korea is famous for their R&B music.

They’ve really got Seoul.

In North Korea...

[edited] everything is grand and prosperous and USA is smelly

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Kim Jong-un of North Korea has said he's going to destroy America

So Trump was livid saying "That's MY job, and I'm not going to just stand by and see an Asian snatch away another American job."

A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker ....

A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker are walking down the street.

A reporter comes up to them and says,
“Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?”

The Saudi says, “excuse me , what is this word shortage?”

The Russian says, “excuse me, what’s me...

What did Kim Jong-Un say when he left South Korea?

Peace.

What would war with Korea be like?

Seoul-crushing

You know why North Korea won't meet for the nuclear summit?

They haven't updated their privacy policy.

Donald Trump finally revealed his plans to defeat North Korea

He's buying it and turning it into a Trump brand business

Finally peace in Korea...

And all it took was the Un and the Moon coming together.

I don't know why North Korea needs a nuclear bomb...

...their weather machine seems to be working just fine

What do you call a Jedi from Korea?

Luke Skywalker, the Choson One.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

2 Congressmen, 2 rednecks, and 2 tech guys from Silicon Valley go to North Korea . . .

So these 2 Congressmen decided to make a goodwill trip to North Korea. To show the wide range of cultures in the U.S., they took a couple redneck guys from Mississippi and a couple of tech savvy guys from California. After a short tour, they were thrown in prison for not having proper credentials....

What did the leaders of China and N. Korea order for lunch at their meeting

Kim-Xi

Why is Korea the greenest county in the world?

It's full of Parks.

Ever wonder why Kim Jong Un wants to switch from governing North Korea to South Korea?

He wants a Korea change.

What's North Korea's favourite rap group?

Run, DMZ!

ISIS vs North Korea. Who would win?

everyone

The Geography of a Woman

The Geography of a Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is li...

What does "f" in "North Korea" stand for?

Freedom

90% of dogs in Korea are inbred...

I'm assuming that means like in a sandwich or something.

How do you know the US isn't going to attack North Korea?

They didn't arm them first.

People keep asking me how I'm doing since moving to North Korea

Eh, can't complain.

What's the difference between North Korea amd South Korea?

North Koreans have no Seoul.

Thought of this very early in the morning waiting to board a plane.

Did you know that in North Korea, the soldiers always march to the left?

That's because there are no rights.