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Vietnamese Jokes

I posted some misinformation about Vietnamese cuisine on Facebook

Now i regret. I should've known they'd banh mi for that.
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What’s the WiFi password at a Vietnamese noodle shop?

123pho5
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I got kicked out of my favorite Vietnamese restaurant and told I can never come back.

How dare they banh mi!
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Chinese guy and a Jewish guy are drinking at the bar...

The Jewish guy turns to the Chinese guy and says, "Fu*k you and your people, for bombing Pearl Harbor!"

The Chinese guy is like, "WTF?! That wasn't us. That was the Japanese!"

The Jewish guy: "Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese... you're all the same."

After a few minutes and another...

Hey, what was the name of that new vietnamese restaurant?

- Pho King. Good food.

I know, but what was the place called?
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What does a flasher have in common with a Vietnamese ATM?

They both whip out their dong in public
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I stood in line at a Vietnamese food truck for an hour.

When I finally got to the window, they were sold out and closing for the day.

What a big Pho queue.
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Did you hear about the most recent Vietnamese automobile?

It was Nguyen improved.
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The new Vietnamese restaurant was getting great reviews, so I decided to try it

Clearly the word had spread, as when I got there, hundreds of people were already waiting to get in. The line went all the way around the block. Some people got there hours before the place even opened. I thought about just going somewhere else, but I figured if it was that popular, the food must be...
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Snoop Dogg should open up a Vietnamese-German fusion restaurant

and call it Pho Schnitzel
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A joke translated from Vietnamese.

In a conference, USA repesentatives complained that the Vietnamese were so uncivilized, they often pee illegally in public and in plain sight. The Vietnam side denied and say that wasn’t true. The US responsed that tonight, they will carry m4, patrol around Ho Guom lake and execute all those who pee...
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I'm Vietnamese, and feel I have been oppressed, discriminated against, and held back by people.

Because they always say,

"Nah Pham."
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I went to a Vietnamese restaurant...

Went to a Vietnamese restaurant tonight and there was dogs foot in my soup. The waiter said it was a pho paw.
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I helped two Vietnamese brothers settle a dispute

It really was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation
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A famous Vietnamese chef named Quan Si Ho was opening a restaurant, but couldn’t decide what to name it.

His brother Bao Ho told him: “It’s trendy to name restaurants after their best dish and the name of the chef.”

“Oh really?” said Quan.

“Yeah,” Bao said. “Like LB Steak, or Pizza Angelo. You could call yours ‘Ho Noodles’ or ‘Soup by Quan Si.’”

“That’s it!” said Quan. “I’ve thoug...
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“What do you call a line for a Vietnamese restaurant in London?”

“Pho queue.”

“Well, fuck you too!”

Why can’t you lose in a threesome with Vietnamese twins?

Because it’s a Ngyuen-Ngyuen.
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A Vietnamese farmer was working in the rice paddy field when he sees his son running to him

'Father, father look' , the kid points to a newspaper and says excitedly ' The Americans have gone to the moon '.

The farmer drops his plough and asks excitedly ;

'All of them'

'No just 3', replies the kid

'Damn it'

The father shakes his head in disappointment an...
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My grandpa went to Vietnam and he shot and killed dozens of North Vietnamese singlehandedly.

We are going on vacation somewhere else next year.
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What do you call it when two Vietnamese people are successful?

A Nguyen Nguyen situation
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What do you call it when you accidentally put Vietnamese noodles in a coffee mug instead of a bowl?

A pho cup.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot is Chinese.

His copilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese.'

'N...

My Vietnamese friend is very particular about people pronouncing words in his language correctly, so I called him a “Pho-cist”.

He was pretty offended, and I haven’t seen him since I don’t know, Nguyen.
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There is this Vietnamese restaurant near my place that serves really good soup

It's really popular though, so one time I had to wait a whole hour just to go in, and by the time it was my turn, they ran out of soup. It was a really huge pho-queue.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jewish man and a Vietnamese man waiting in the doctor's office.

A Vietnamese man and a Jewish man are waiting in the Doctor’s office for an appointment and as the time goes on they become more and more irritated until finally the Jewish man says, “I hate you Vietnamese people!”.

Shocked, the Vietnamese man says, “What in the world would compel you to say ...

Why's it a good idea to have a threesome with 2 Vietnamese girls?

It's usually a Nguyen/Nguyen.
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A Vietnamese couple met on Match.com and it turns out they complement each other perfectly

You might say it's a Nguyen-Nguyen situation
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I had a blind date at a Vietnamese restaurant last week.

Turned out she didn’t speak any English, so I never figured out if she was friend or pho.
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I asked him to heat up the Vietnamese soup...

and he immediately left the house and came back 20 minutes later with a Fajita!
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An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian.....

.... an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Camer...

The way the Vietnamese count soup

Pho-nominally.
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Did you hear about the Vietnamese brothers who became table tennis doubles champions?

It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.
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My Vietnamese friends just got married. They have the same common last name, so neither of them needed to change anything.

You could say it's a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.
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Some rioters just destroyed a Vietnamese restaurant.

Must've been anti-pho.
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A Vietnamese American woman, Christine Nguyen, wanted to preserve her surname.

Christine Nguyen, wanted to keep her surname after marriage, so she resolved to not take on the surname of the man she married, or change her name to a double barrel name that included her family's name.



Luckily, the man she ended up marrying was also Vietnamese American too, who just...
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What’s the favorite video game of the North Vietnamese?

Viet Pong
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I'm Vietnamese and if I got a nickel for every time someone asked me if I do nails...

I wouldn't have to do nails anymore.
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So I went to this Vietnamese Resturaunt

...when I saw some patrons stomp out angrily muttering about someone being rude.  It smelled so good I was undeterred.  There was a soup station where they put it all together in front of you.  I asked the host how.it worked and he pointed and said "pho queue over there"
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A Vietnamese couple get married, but both want to keep their surname. Luckily neither mind, agreeing to double barrel the two names.

It’s a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.
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My Vietnamese neighbor brought me some pho

A Vietnamese woman recently moved in next door. I guess she wanted to make friends so she brought me a bowl of pho. She didn’t say anything and smiled, so I assumed she didn’t speak English.

That night, I devoured the Vietnamese delicacy but quickly realized it gave me a cold, as I was coughi...
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My Vietnamese friend killed two birds with one stone

I guess that’s a Nguyen-Nguyen situation
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I had to wait in line for a bowl of Vietnamese soup

That’s it, no joke. Don’t like it? Pho queue.
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A Russian, an American and a Vietnamese were on a private plane together.

At 10,000 feet, the plane started encountering some problems and the pilot announced: "Gentlemen, I'm afraid we are running out of fuel, we will need to throw our baggage away to reduce the weight if we wish to land safely!"

He then opened the door and asked the passengers to begin letting go...
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I'm starting a protest against the evil capitalist structure promoted by Vietnamese soup salesmen.

We are Anti-Pho
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I went to a Vietnamese food truck at lunch to order my favourite soup...

But there was a huge line and I was in a rush. It was kind of a pho queue.
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I am going to start a website to review Vietnamese restaurants.

It's going to be called Friend or Pho.
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Why do most Vietnamese people seem like male prostitutes?

Because they pay for everything with their Dongs

What do a book listing all Vietnamese generals and a list of all the problems with my wifi have in common?

'Hi Ping' is probably there somewhere.
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I was browsing a Vietnamese sub the other day...

The mods tried to kick me out, but I said "You can't Bahn mi!"
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I keep ordering things that aren’t on the menu at this Vietnamese Sandwich Shop...

The lady behind the counter said: “If you keep doing that you’re gonna get in trouble!”

I replied: “Whadya gonna do...Bahn Mi?!”
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I should have known my relationship was doomed when my girlfriend made me watch the Vietnamese Independence Day parade.

There were so many red flags.
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A new Vietnamese restaurant opened across from another, and the owners have been throwing competitive deals all week.

It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.
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Onlyfans but it's a bunch of wholesome Vietnamese guys that you can take home to your parents and bring honor to us all.

It's called: OnlyPhans
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After working over 10 hours with no break, I was excited to see catering had made Vietnamese food. But I didn't have time to get any because there was a huge line.

Well that felt like a big "pho queue".
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I was telling my friend about an upcoming vietnamese Pho festival. He asked what kind of festival? I said, did I stutter!?

I know it's awful. Downvote accordingly.
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Don't eat royal sausage in Vietnamese noodle soup

Trust me, it's the Pho King Wurst
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Did you hear about the Vietnamese man who won the lottery and was reunited with his lost dog on the very same day?

It was a Nguyen- Nguyen situation.
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A Vietnamese couple and their 14 year old son have newly immigrated to Canada.

Tomorrow is their son’s first day at high school. The parents are concerned about their son fitting in with the other kids. They feel that his name will hold him back, and they want him to go in with his best foot forward. The father anxiously scans the internet for a name that he thinks other peopl...
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My Vietnamese friend told me that it was okay for me you use the English pronunciation if his name instead of butchering the Vietnamese pronunciation.

What a Nguyen-Nguyen situation!
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What do you call a professional chef whose specialty is traditional Vietnamese dishes?

He’s the Pho King, boss!
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My Vietnamese roommate is moving to Vegas (giving me a place to crash in Vegas), and leaving behind a full bedroom set for free...

This is a real Nguyen-Nguyen situation for me.
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What happens if you tease a Vietnamese person?

They get hanoid.
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What can be said for Vietnamese soilders and takeout food?

They never make it home
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There was a Vietnamese family with two daughters of marrying age

Now in these modern times, their parents were open to interracial marriages but wanted their daughters to maintain something of their heritage.

The first daughter meets a Latino Businessman named Jose Juan. She falls madly in love and they announce their engagement

The second daughter ...
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My dad made a Vietnamese/Thai fusion dish the other day...

It was Tom-Phocurry.
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A Vietnamese restaurant is offering herbed potato sticks served with a bowl of noodle soup.

Thyme fries when you’re having pho.
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This Vietnamese couple I knew got married...

Luckily for them they shared the same last name so it wasn't a big hassle for either of them. It was a Nguyễn-Nguyễn situation.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do basic bitches and Vietnamese women have in common?

They can't resist a guy in uniform.

I have a friend who is half Welsh and half Vietnamese

I call that a Wyn Nguyen
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What do you call a Vietnamese themed restaurant that only serves Indian food in Chinese take out containers?

PhoCurry.
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A Filipino, a Korean, a Laotian, a Chinese, a Japanese and a Vietnamese go to a fancy restaurant. "Sorry" says the Maitre d' ...

"You can't be seated without a Thai."

[OC?I just heard that superstar Phil Collins has an irrational fear of eating an inauthentic Vietnamese noodle dish.

He calls it faux-pho-phobia.
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My Vietnamese friends are getting married and graduating on the same day

I told him it was a Nguyen/Nguyen
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What do you call a Vietnamese woman who has a huge collection of letters?

A mail hoarder bride. I'll see myself out.

When are you truly Vietnamese?

**When you are So - v i e t!**

*Ba dum tss*
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What do you call the greatest royalty of Vietnamese noodle soup?

The best PhoKing you'll ever know
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A Vietnamese couple were going to have a baby.

The father was really hoping for a boy, while the mother wanted a girl.

As luck would have it, they ended up having twins -- one boy and one girl.

It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.
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an American, an Arabian and a Vietnamese in a helicopter

Gasoline was low, the pilot tells them to get rid of unnecessary things to lower the weight.

The American throw a suitcase full of money and said: That just 10 million dollars, There's so many of them in my bank.

The Arabian throw a suitcase full of gold and said: That just 20 kilogram...
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What noise do you make when you eat Vietnamese food?

Nom Nom

My little brother just told me that joke. He's an asshole

Did you hear about the new Vietnamese noodle / southern BBQ fusion restaurant?

It's called Pho-Q
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Mr. T set to open a new Vietnamese noodle shop...

To be called "I pity the Pho"
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On Friday, an elementary school teacher poses her students a challenge...

"If you can tell me who said the following quote, they don't have to come to school on Monday: 'We have nothing to fear, but fear itself'"
A hand shoots up and little Billy Tran says "Franklin Delano Roosevelt".
"Correct, Billy. You can have next Monday off" the teacher replies.
"I'm ...

What do Vietnamese historians and Southern rednecks have in common?

They both care way too much about the Đức Dynasty.
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Mr Connor took his daughter, Anna, to a Vietnamese church....

....in the hopes of getting her to stop her rebellious teenage shenanigans.
Anna obviously resistant, warned him beforehand that she'll go to the church, but she doesn't want to attend the church habitually.
Mr Connor agreed with Anna, hoping the one visit will be enough.
At the front of th...
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