What’s the WiFi password at a Vietnamese noodle shop?

123pho5

Hey, what was the name of that new vietnamese restaurant?

- Pho King. Good food.

I know, but what was the place called?

What do you call the fear of Vietnamese soup noodles?

pho-bia

If two Vietnamese get married,

It’s usually a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

Did you hear about the most recent Vietnamese automobile?

It was Nguyen improved.

Someday I'll open up a Vietnamese-Italian fusion restaurant

I'll call it Pho-geddaboudit!

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A Vietnamese man who recently moved to America is down on his luck and missing home. He decides to spend his last $5 on an authentic Vietnamese dinner hoping it will remind him of home.

He finds the nearest Vietnamese restaurant and makes the walk there, hoping to make it in time before they close. When he enters the owner greets him in Vietnamese and he responds in kind. Happy to be speaking his native language again the man makes small talk with the owner. After pleasantries he a...

Did you hear about the Vietnamese brothers who became table tennis doubles champions?

It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

My trip to a Vietnamese casino was so much fun!

Spent the whole night blowing my dong !

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You really expect me to wait in this long ass line just for Vietnamese soup?

That’s a big Pho Queue

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Smashed up a Vietnamese bakery today

They had no choice but to Ban Mi

What does a flasher have in common with a Vietnamese ATM?

They both whip out their dong in public

Some rioters just destroyed a Vietnamese restaurant.

Must've been anti-pho.

I'm Vietnamese, and feel I have been oppressed, discriminated against, and held back by people.

Because they always say,

"Nah Pham."

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An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian...

... an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Camero...

A Russian, an American and a Vietnamese were on a private plane together.

At 10,000 feet, the plane started encountering some problems and the pilot announced: "Gentlemen, I'm afraid we are running out of fuel, we will need to throw our baggage away to reduce the weight if we wish to land safely!"

He then opened the door and asked the passengers to begin letting go...

Why can’t you lose in a threesome with Vietnamese twins?

Because it’s a Ngyuen-Ngyuen.

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There's some soldiers in Vietnam.And they've been pinned down in their trench for days. ( Dark Joke )

Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, i'll run into the bushes.When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back."

So they lay down fire, and he runs off into the jungle.

But he's gone for a good half an hou...

A Vietnamese couple get married, but both want to keep their surname. Luckily neither mind, agreeing to double barrel the two names.

It’s a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

After a misunderstanding, a suburban Vietnamese bakery tried to Ban Mi

I said let's just let Saigons be Saigons.

After working over 10 hours with no break, I was excited to see catering had made Vietnamese food. But I didn't have time to get any because there was a huge line.

Well that felt like a big "pho queue".

Mr. T opened a Vietnamese restaurant.

I pity the pho.

I'm Vietnamese and if I got a nickel for every time someone asked me if I do nails...

I wouldn't have to do nails anymore.

I had a blind date at a Vietnamese restaurant last week.

Turned out she didn’t speak any English, so I never figured out if she was friend or pho.

I'm starting a protest against the evil capitalist structure promoted by Vietnamese soup salesmen.

We are Anti-Pho

an American, an Arabian and a Vietnamese in a helicopter

Gasoline was low, the pilot tells them to get rid of unnecessary things to lower the weight.

The American throw a suitcase full of money and said: That just 10 million dollars, There's so many of them in my bank.

The Arabian throw a suitcase full of gold and said: That just 20 kilogram...

Making a joke in 2019 is like taking a hike through a Vietnamese forest

You never know what you’re going to set off

I went to a Vietnamese food truck at lunch to order my favourite soup...

But there was a huge line and I was in a rush. It was kind of a pho queue.

I went to my son’s parent teacher conference today

An unkept older man walked out and yelled to me I can go in after the trans.

I was mortified. I started saying in this day and age anyone can be whoever they want. It’s disgusting people like you who make this world a horrible place.

That’s when I saw the Vietnamese family walk out. ...

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A Jewish man and a Vietnamese man waiting in the doctor's office.

A Vietnamese man and a Jewish man are waiting in the Doctor’s office for an appointment and as the time goes on they become more and more irritated until finally the Jewish man says, “I hate you Vietnamese people!”.

Shocked, the Vietnamese man says, “What in the world would compel you to say ...

A Vietnamese American woman, Christine Nguyen, wanted to preserve her surname.

Christine Nguyen, wanted to keep her surname after marriage, so she resolved to not take on the surname of the man she married, or change her name to a double barrel name that included her family's name.



Luckily, the man she ended up marrying was also Vietnamese American too, who just...

My Vietnamese neighbor brought me some pho

A Vietnamese woman recently moved in next door. I guess she wanted to make friends so she brought me a bowl of pho. She didn’t say anything and smiled, so I assumed she didn’t speak English.

That night, I devoured the Vietnamese delicacy but quickly realized it gave me a cold, as I was coughi...

A Vietnamese couple met on Match.com and it turns out they complement each other perfectly

You might say it's a Nguyen-Nguyen situation

I should have known my relationship was doomed when my girlfriend made me watch the Vietnamese Independence Day parade.

There were so many red flags.

A new Vietnamese restaurant opened across from another, and the owners have been throwing competitive deals all week.

It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

I keep ordering things that aren’t on the menu at this Vietnamese Sandwich Shop...

The lady behind the counter said: “If you keep doing that you’re gonna get in trouble!”

I replied: “Whadya gonna do...Bahn Mi?!”

Onlyfans but it's a bunch of wholesome Vietnamese guys that you can take home to your parents and bring honor to us all.

It's called: OnlyPhans

Why wasn't I allowed in the Vietnamese Restaurant?

Because they "Banh"ed Mi

My grandpa went to Vietnam and he shot and killed dozens of North Vietnamese singlehandedly.

We are going on vacation somewhere else next year.

I was telling my friend about an upcoming vietnamese Pho festival. He asked what kind of festival? I said, did I stutter!?

I know it's awful. Downvote accordingly.

I was browsing a Vietnamese sub the other day...

The mods tried to kick me out, but I said "You can't Bahn mi!"

What do you call a professional chef whose specialty is traditional Vietnamese dishes?

He’s the Pho King, boss!

Did you hear about the Vietnamese man who won the lottery and was reunited with his lost dog on the very same day?

It was a Nguyen- Nguyen situation.

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One day a teacher asked the class to get a story with a moral

The next day she asks a girl what her moral was

The girl says "Every year we get our chickens and take their eggs to the market to sell them. We were going down yesterday and my dad hit a pothole and all the eggs cracked in the basket"

The teacher asked "So what's the moral?"

...

What happens if you tease a Vietnamese person?

They get hanoid.

What can be said for Vietnamese soilders and takeout food?

They never make it home

A Vietnamese couple and their 14 year old son have newly immigrated to Canada.

Tomorrow is their son’s first day at high school. The parents are concerned about their son fitting in with the other kids. They feel that his name will hold him back, and they want him to go in with his best foot forward. The father anxiously scans the internet for a name that he thinks other peopl...

My Vietnamese friends are getting married and graduating on the same day

I told him it was a Nguyen/Nguyen

A Vietnamese restaurant is offering herbed potato sticks served with a bowl of noodle soup.

Thyme fries when you’re having pho.

My dad made a Vietnamese/Thai fusion dish the other day...

It was Tom-Phocurry.

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I have a vietnamese coworker who's a pain in the ass...

I guess you could say he's pretty Hanoi-ing

My Vietnamese friends just got married. They have the same common last name, so neither of them needed to change anything.

You could say it's a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

There was a Vietnamese family with two daughters of marrying age

Now in these modern times, their parents were open to interracial marriages but wanted their daughters to maintain something of their heritage.

The first daughter meets a Latino Businessman named Jose Juan. She falls madly in love and they announce their engagement

The second daughter ...

I have a friend who is half Welsh and half Vietnamese

I call that a Wyn Nguyen

A man on Vacation in Vietnam asks for directions to the best restaurant in town.

So he walks up to some random Vietnamese guy and asks him, "Where do I go for the best food in town?"

The Vietnamese man, deciding to play a joke on the foreigner, says, "There's this great restaurant down the road and the first restaurant past your left. It's called the Pho King. He's even ...

What do you call a Vietnamese themed restaurant that only serves Indian food in Chinese take out containers?

PhoCurry.

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What do basic bitches and Vietnamese women have in common?

They can't resist a guy in uniform.

My Vietnamese roommate is moving to Vegas (giving me a place to crash in Vegas), and leaving behind a full bedroom set for free...

This is a real Nguyen-Nguyen situation for me.

Why's it a good idea to have a threesome with 2 Vietnamese girls?

It's usually a Nguyen/Nguyen.

Don't eat royal sausage in Vietnamese noodle soup

Trust me, it's the Pho King Wurst

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Why do most Vietnamese people seem like male prostitutes?

Because they pay for everything with their Dongs

I am going to start a website to review Vietnamese restaurants.

It's going to be called Friend or Pho.

What is a Vietnamese sandwich maker’s favorite pick up line?

Banh mi.

A Vietnamese knight encounters a stray dog...

He grips his blade and calls out, "friend or pho?"

[OC?I just heard that superstar Phil Collins has an irrational fear of eating an inauthentic Vietnamese noodle dish.

He calls it faux-pho-phobia.

What's a good source of Vietnamese renewable energy?

A Nguyen mill.

What is a Vietnamese's favorite color?

Not orange.

This Vietnamese couple I knew got married...

Luckily for them they shared the same last name so it wasn't a big hassle for either of them. It was a Nguyễn-Nguyễn situation.

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What noise do you make when you eat Vietnamese food?

Nom Nom

My little brother just told me that joke. He's an asshole

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What do you call a Vietnamese woman who has a huge collection of letters?

A mail hoarder bride. I'll see myself out.

Did you hear about the new Vietnamese noodle / southern BBQ fusion restaurant?

It's called Pho-Q

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A Filipino, a Korean, a Laotian, a Chinese, a Japanese and a Vietnamese go to a fancy restaurant. "Sorry" says the Maitre d' ...

"You can't be seated without a Thai."

What do you call the greatest royalty of Vietnamese noodle soup?

The best PhoKing you'll ever know

Mr. T set to open a new Vietnamese noodle shop...

To be called "I pity the Pho"

A Vietnamese couple were going to have a baby.

The father was really hoping for a boy, while the mother wanted a girl.

As luck would have it, they ended up having twins -- one boy and one girl.

It was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation.

My wife and I were up too late and started making up election jokes....

Here you are, the fruits of our shared brain cell.

Why did Biden get all of the Vietnamese votes?
They wanted to give him the Nguyen’s.

When Trump was getting the numbers of votes in, he read the number of white votes, which was pretty high; black votes, which was fewer; and Asian a...

I was waiting in line for soup at my favorite Vietnamese food truck...

When this guy pushes in front to place his order.

I'm like, "Dude, pho queue."

What Did the Giant Say to His Enemy When He Served Him Ramen at a Vietnamese Restaurant?

Fee Fi Fo Fum, Faux Pho For Foe

What do Vietnamese historians and Southern rednecks have in common?

They both care way too much about the Đức Dynasty.

Mr Connor took his daughter, Anna, to a Vietnamese church....

....in the hopes of getting her to stop her rebellious teenage shenanigans.
Anna obviously resistant, warned him beforehand that she'll go to the church, but she doesn't want to attend the church habitually.
Mr Connor agreed with Anna, hoping the one visit will be enough.
At the front of th...

Two Vietnamese men decided to go into business together...

It was a Nguyen-Nguyen proposition.

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My dad never thought I could speak Japanese, so one time I was at a restaurant.

While at the restaurant, my dad said:
“If you can, speak to that waitress and order some dumplings in Japanese.”

I said: “Ok.”

The waitress came and I said: “Kon’nichiwa.”
They then looked me dead in the eyes and said: “Get the fuck out.”

As we were walking t...

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What does Charlie Sheen say when he's having sex with a Vietnamese Lady?

Nguyenning!

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A third grade teacher assigns her students homework

They are to ask their parents for a story with a moral and share it the next day.
The next day the teacher calls on little Peggy-Sue. Peggy-Sue stands and says “My daddy told me about the chickens that we raise for slaughter. One day we bought 12 eggs and only 9 of them hatched. The moral of the...

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