What do asians do when they have an erection?

They vote.

One day, a doctor goes on a boat tour in rural Asia.

After a while, the doctor asks the tour leader, "Can you do maths?" the tour leader says, "No I can't, actually." the doctor replies, "Well, your life expectancy is reduced by a quarter.

Later the doctor asks again, "Do you understand science?" the tour leader again says no. The doctor says,...

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who risked everything to explore asia and didn't give a fuck?

Marco Yolo

I just got back from Asia...

And now I’m disoriented.

What did Asia say when Africa was next in line?

Europe.

On the snowy mountains of eastern Asia, there live a secluded group of monks

Bi-weekly the head monk teaches a class of young monks the way of their order. One particular class began with the head monk explaining that while the world is full of hidden meaning, objects are nothing but themselves, and thus meaningless. The head monk said 'you see children, this vase I hold is ...

Why is the largest country in Asia like an erection?

All the blood is Russian there.

Asians are like a box of chocolates...

They will kill your dog

I went to a concert in Asia but I didn't enjoy it.

The band was good but the singer poor.

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An American man catches an STD while traveling through Asia

After having quite the sexual romp he starts to notice discomfort and discoloration around his groin. Afraid for the loss of his manhood he seeks out an American doctor out there for help.

The doctor looks him over and says "I'm sorry, it's going to need to be removed, it's too far gone"
<...

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I was lining up a camera shot in Asia

"Japan?"

No, it was a still shot.

My father told me that 65% of the lentils they farm go to Asia.

I asked him if they were ori-lentils.

Asia Argento quitting acting

to become projectionist

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Two Students from Asia Came to My High School...

They were twins, a guy, Ving, and a girl, Ling. Ving is in my math class, and the dude's like a math wiz. I'm really struggling, so I ask Ving if he'd give me a hand on the homework. Ving says yeah, he just wants me to do him a favor. I'm like yeah sure what. He asks me to drive him to the city hall...

What do you call a Mosque in Asia

A North Korean Nuclear Bomb Test Site

What really motivates people to work out in southeast asia?

Eye of the Thai girl.

I found out my date likes to dissect people from Southeast Asia.

I've since decided to cut Thais with her.

Why did James Brown always tour in Asia?

He loved the Seoul train.

They just announced the next Fast and Furious movie where they will go undercover as ride share drivers in Asia

It's called Tokyo Lyft

Did you hear about the chicken in Asia that learned how to fight?

His name was Kung POW!

How do you know if the camera you just bought was made in Asia?

If the shutter makes a "crick" noise.

[OC] Trump's Asia visit takes him to Vietnam today, which is a good thing...

Because if you've been in 'Nam, you can never really come back home.

What's the heaviest soup in Asia?

Wonton soup!

An architect was exploring Asia

When he found himself lost, he asked a stranger where he was. The stranger replied "Soviet Russia". The architect thanks her and journey to the next archeological site.

He is in a cave, looking for early human marks, when all of a sudden, he sees a round thing with a timer. He realized its a ...

When in Asia...

You should just Phuket and Bangkok.

I travelled to Asia with my wife

Came back with 500$

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A Greek and an Italian...

are arguing the virtues of their respective cultures in antiquity.

The Greek says, "Us Greeks had great armies and built a great empire that expanded throughout the Mediterranean and Asia Minor."

The Italian says, "And the Romans had greater armies and a much bigger empire, encompassin...

A man is traveling to the coast of South Western Asia, and he asks his friend if she wants to go with him. She says:

"Yemen, shore."

What is Asia's favourite sitcom?

Everybody loves Ramen.

Did you hear about that boxer who adopted a child from Asia?

It's Mike's Thai Son.

A panda walks into a Chinese’s shop

The panda sits down and ask the waiter what’s the special

The waiter says “Wong tong soup”

The panda says “I’ll have 2”

The panda eats his meal and pulls out a shotgun and shoots a hole in the wall and starts to walk out

The waiter comes running up and says “you can do ...

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A man walks into the doctor's with an awful rash on his penis

The doctor asks if the man had been overseas recently, to which the answer was yes (he had just returned from a holiday in Asia).

The Doctor says "I'm sorry to tell you that you have Hong Kong Dong and your penis needs to be removed."

The man was shocked and extremely upset.
He left...

What happens to a person when they move out of Asia?

They become dis-oriented!

Why was Asia mad at the President?

The President kept China in the cabinet.

Why don't they have werewolves in Asia?

They get eaten.

I heard that Chinese opium is so strong that it can kill you.

No wonder it's a drug for youth-in-Asia.

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My grandpa must be really into sex tourism

He keeps going on and on about "youth in Asia."

A man runs out of money in a foreign Asian country

A man runs out of money while traveling a foreign country in Asia. Desperate for food he hears the locals discussing the Monks and their great kindness. Hearing this, the man decides to seek out the temple and beg the monks for food.

After finding the temple, the man is taken in and well fed....

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and waits to be served.

The owner is confused by the presence of the panda, but decides to provide service just like he would any other customer. The panda orders a meal, eats the meal quietly, and then asks for the check.

As the owner prepares the bill, the panda suddenly pulls out a gun, fires a few rounds into t...

Leading scientists gathered today to decide how to handle the world's overpopulation problem.

They decided on the humane execution of a large group of people but they had to take a vote on which demographic to kill off.

After a long day of deliberation it was decided.

Youth in Asia.

Bamboo

A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a meal. After the meal the waiter comes to the table to give the panda the check. Without a word the panda draws a gun and shoots the waiter dead. He then gets up nonchalantly and heads for the door. Seeing what just transpired the manager confronts the pan...

Contender for the worst pun ever (OC)

Meet Desmond. Desmond and his Father are pretty normal people, but they both have Podophobia, the irrational fear of feet.

One day, they both travel to do a tour of Southeast Asia and visit a family friend. As they’re walking about a city, Desmond see‘s a homeless person begging in shabby cl...

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I just love this Amazon echo's capability

I set it up today and said “Dingo took my baby " and got a list of Meryl Streep movies

Then I said “Hello gorgeous ” and got a list of Barbara Streisand movies

Just then my neighborhood kids were running and screaming outside the house

I muttered “Fucking kids”

And a bunc...

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The Chinese take over the world, and start re-organizing the social structure...

They decide that the best way to do things is to separate everyone by race, and keep all white people in Europe and North America, all Asian people in Asia, all black people in Africa, etc.

Now, of course, the issue is that race isn't such a cut-and-dry thing, so after sorting through the obv...

In America, we hold staring contests.

In Asia, they squint.

Did you hear about the little boy in China who asked his doctor to let him die?

Talk about a case of Youth-In-Asia.

What do you call a female Chinese newborn?

A youth-in-Asia

^(Yes. I'm 100% aware I'm the worst person in history)

I like my women how I like my coffee...

...raised by impoverished farmers in Southeast Asia.

I took my sick dog to the vet, and they told me that the best option was for my dog to go live with some children in China.

Although, I'm surprised that he referred to them as the "youth in Asia".

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The world map nowadays looks like a human being

Asia is like the brain, all the smart things comes from there.

Middle East is like the stomach, all the churning and rumbling like all the wars happening right now

Europe is like the backbone, try to maintain world peace and keeping the world in shape.

And then there's America, ...

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Chewing Gum

Asian guy is having a snack of bread and jam when an American man chuckling chewing gum, sits down next to him. The Asian ignores the American who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

American: “You Asian folks eat the whole bread??”

Asian (in a bad mood): “Of course.”

American...

Why was abolishing the one-child policy in China morally controversial?

It led to an increase of youth in Asia

My friend said that China might be considering assisted suicide for teenagers

He's probably wrong, but if he's right, that would mark the beginning of euthanasia of youth in Asia.

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Between the ages of 16 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored...

Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic.

Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources.

Between the ages of 46 and 56 she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest.
<...

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Born with no eyelids

( I usually start this one off by casually asking if someone has been keeping up with the news)

Oh, did you see the story about the missionaries that adopted that baby that was born with no eyelids?

No? It was pretty interesting. So, check it out, this group of missionaries was wor...

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So a horse is watching MTV...

So this horse is watching MTV. This is in the 90s where MTV actually had music on it. Anyway, the horse sees a segment on Jimi Hendrix, and decides there and then he wants to become an internationally-acclaimed guitar player (because, as we all know, all horses are left-handed).

So this horse...

Why did Angelina Jolie hire a hitman to kill her?

Because her family wouldn't have handled the youth in Asia.

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Penis length is directly correlated to the surrounding trees

In Europe and America, there are oaks. In Africa, there are baobabs. In Asia, there are bonsais.

My friend told me, "I don't support euthanasia."

I replied, "You should be ashamed of yourself! The young people in Asia deserve as much support as the young people on any other continent."

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Women are alot like continents.

At various times in her life, a woman is like the continents of the world. From 13 to 18, she's like Africa- virgin territory. From 18 to 30, she's like Asia- hot and exotic. From 30 to 45, she's like America- fully explored and free with her resources. From 45 to 55, she's like Europe- exhausted, b...

A Polish guy finds a lamp buried in the sand

As per usual, a genie comes out and offers him three wishes.

The Polish guy things for a moment and says, "I wish for all of Ghengis Khan's armies to go rampaging across the steppes to the border of Poland, then turn around and go home."

"All right," the genie says, "Done. What's your ...

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What's the difference between Japanese sake bars and doctors in Oregon?

One of them serves adults in Asia...

Obama died, and there is nothing to do in heaven, so he decided to visit New York.

He goes into the first bar he see and asks the bartender what's up, how people live, what are the problems, etc. The bartender is asking, surprised:
-what are the problems? Everything around is ours!
-what about Afghanistan, Iraq...
-It's all ours.
-Europe, Africa and Asia? ...

Who performs the most assisted suicides.

Youth in Asia.

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I was sitting on the subway across from this amazingly sexy Asian woman...

...we talked a bit, and after remarking on her accent, I found out she was from Thailand, visiting family in the US. I mentioned how I was always interested in Southeast Asia and wanted to visit there someday, which led to us chatting a bit more, about stuff like comparing food and weather and othe...

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Help us choose a new name for our nonprofit. We're teenagers in China and Japan helping senior citizens.

Apparently 'Youth in Asia for the Elderly' isn't having the effect we thought it would.

A rich man decides to visit Europe

After a few weeks, he received a message from his butler simply saying, "Your dog is dead." Upon his return, the rich man began to scold the butler for how poorly he had handled the situation. "How should I have handled it sir?" The butler asked.
"Well, you could have started with, your dog is on...

Did you hear the one about those kids in China?

I'd tell it to you but it's a bit insensitive to tell jokes about youth in Asia.

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Asian STD

A businessman goes to Asia for a businesstrip. While there, he hires and bangs a hot Asian hooker.

After coming back home, he realizes that something's wrong with his junk. He goes to a doctor and the doctor says "I'm sorry sir, but you have Asian STD. There's no cure and we can only amput...

For some reason the Pope didn't...

sponsor my program for terminally ill Chinese children. He said he didn't like the name - What's wrong with "Youth in Asia"???

I asked my racist granddad what does he think should be illegal...

His reply, quite unsurprising, was "Youth in Asia" .

My wife was thinking of names for a new face cleanser she made.

She made a face cleanser that is influenced by Asian ingredients. It makes you stay young for way beyond your years so she was thinking about calling it Youth in Asia.

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Lots of Orgasms

Sex in a boat = Oargasms

Sex with a nerd = Dorkgasms

Sex at the entrance to your house = Doorgasms

Sex on the carpet or linoleum = Floorgasms

Sex at the supermarket = Storegasms

Sex with wild pigs = Boargasms

Sex at a Stephen King movie = Horrorgasms <...

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Japanese boy kills his grandfather...

Pfft, youth in Asia.

Father and son talking:

- Daddy, is it true that in some parts of Africa and Asia a man does not know the wife until marrying her?
- Here too, my son. Here too ...

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