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An Asian man goes on a trip to America

He goes to an American Bank to converts his money to dollars, while going through his trip he meets a generous old friend who decides to let him stay in his place and also pay for his expenses during his stay.

After a few days he decides to return back to his country and heads to the bank to...

What Asian stereo type do you hear the most?

Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.

What do you call an Asian who can't handle spice?

Caucasian

My boss fired me for making jokes about Asians again

It was the end of my Korea

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What does an Asian rastifarian cook his food in?

Japan

An Asian student's mom was reading the test result

"Why do you only get a B- ?! You bring shame to our family"

"But mom, it is a blood test"

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I just threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs

It was wong on so many levels

Ever since I was young, my Asian mother taught me about religion.

*"You'd better pray that I'm in a good mood when you bring your report card home tomorrow."*

What do Asian cannibals eat?

Raw men

I have an Asian friend who never says anything untrue.

Literal Lee.

Told my mother if I had been born in the USA I could've become an Asian president

And she says to me: "Why would you want to become the President?"

I look at her and try to appeal to her: "Wait, you could brag to all your friends that your son is the President of the United States though?"

"President terrible career ah. You have job for 4, maybe 8 years, then find n...

Did ya hear about Donkey Kong’s Asian cousin, Viet Kong?

He specializes in Gorilla warfare

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What does an Asian man say on a cloudy day?

Sun, I am disappoint.

What is an Asian Canadian's preferred soup?

Miso Sorry

which Asian country do neckbeards love the most

M'laysia

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I told my Asian parents that I am Asexual.

They were disappointed that I wasn't A+sexual

A kid asks his dad: Dad why am I black, if mom is white if and you are asian... ...

Dad answers: With the party we had that night, you better be grateful that you're not barking right now.

My girlfriend said she’s not a fan of Pan-Asian cooking

I thought it was called a Wok

Not all asian stereotypes are bad, for example...

Sony and Yamaha are pretty good.

What is white, black and Asian

A panda

I'm proud to be a Asian descent, with my family name Chao. When we have family gatherings…

It's completely Chaos!

What do you call an Asian behind a camera?

Phil Ming

An Asian, an American, and a European walk into a bar.

They sit down at the table, and decide to hit up some drinks.



American: I'll have a Coke! I don't want to get drunk.



European: I'll have a watery rum! I'll stay up for the drive.



Asian: I'll have 3 bottles beer, and a side of whiskey!




T...

I played my Asian friend in Tic Tac Toe

It was a Thai.

Have you heard about the controversy regarding asians westernizing their surnames?

Honestly, it’s hard to know who’s White or Wong.

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Why didn’t the Asian man get a high five?

Because Logan Paul left him hanging

Why do so many hungry Asians follow Jesus?

Because of his sackofrice.

There's a new Asian cookbook out...

It's called 101 Ways to Wok Your Dog.

An Asian, an European and an American is stranded on an island after surviving a sinking ship accident.

They now want to start a new society, at least until they're rescued.

The American decides to be the minister of building and construction and the European takes the position as the minister of food and cooking.

Left over, the Asian is now pretty disappointed that they can't find any m...

My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes.

It was the end of my Korea.

I'm still China find another job.

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As an Asian man, I have always wanted to know how it felt to be black. Today I finally accomplished that goal.

I sneezed and watched every one walk to the other side of the street.

What do Asians do during erections?

They vote

What do you call an Asian woman who's always in the right place at the right time?

Tai-ming.

What’s the difference between Caucasians and Asians?

The cauc.

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Three Asian men die in a car accident on Easter Sunday.

They find themselves at the pearly gates, where Peter is at his receptionist desk awaiting them.

“Now, here’s the deal,” Peter says to them. “You three were not believers, so you are not allowed in here.” The men glance at each other, beginning to grow pale. “However, since it’s Easter, I’m w...

I was at my bank today and there was just an Asian lady ahead of me, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars

It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!!"

Me, practicing my comedy routine and my favorite Central Asian sport simultaneously

*\*crickets\**

I realized why I can't get an Asian girlfriend

They really are smart

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Two Asian men walked into a restaurant and immediately started masturbating...

The waitress was shocked and asked them why they were doing this. To this, one of the guy's replied, "It's written outside, 'First come, first serve'. "

How long is an Asian name

More specifically, it’s Vietnamese/ Chinese

A white guy, a black guy, an Indian, an Asian women and a girl in a wheel chair walk into a bar

They are celebrating being on the cover of a middle school math book

What do you call an asian girl with only one leg?

Irene

COVID-19 is like Pasta

Asians invented it, Italians spread it.

3 women board a plane for the 1st time an Asian a Caucasian and a african american.

3 women board a plane for the 1st time an Asian a Caucasian and a african american.
The Asian annouces "im scared but i wore fluro underwear so if we crash they can see me" the Caucasian says "i wore my stars and stripes bikini as underwear so i can be noticed and picked up 1st". The African Ame...

What do you need if you’re wanting to cook Asian bear meat?

A panda

Just be thankful COVID-19 wasn't instead named East Asian Respiratory Syndrome.

"Dude, don't touch her. She has EARS!"

My asian parents are actually very supportive of my career path

They let me pick which medical school I'm going to

Did you know that over 50% of Asians have Cataracts?

The rest drive Rincolns.

Why do Mexican Vampires prefer Asians who have ticks?

They want that Corona and Lyme

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Why do Asian women have small tits?

Because only A’s are acceptable.

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A Joke my Dad told that Im pretty sure I heard a comedian do once

So theres these three guys on a construction crew. Every day at lunch they compare what they get. Everday the italian guy gets pizza and he says " if I get this one more timea Ima jumpa offada buildinga!!!"

The irish guy pops open his metal box, lo and behold hes got mashed potatoes loaded wi...

What is the Asian equivalent of John Doe?

Hu Dat

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Whoever says Asian men have small dicks is wrong!

I knew this Vietnamese banker, and he had a lot of dong

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Most people say Hitler and Stalin killed the most people

But remember theres always an Asian better than you

Did you hear about the Asian-Jewish terrorist?

Hebrew himself up.

All the Asians who’ve been wearing face masks are laughing now

I assume

Three women (redhead, blondie and an asian) have just escaped a prison, and the cops are looking for them...

The girls were running trough the city and went into one of those fruit/ vegetables' market to hide, and find 3 bag of potatoes big enough for them to hide inside.

After a while, one cop that is looking for them finds the bags, and realize that they're kind of weird... So he approaches and ki...

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Good jokes.

Q. What's the ultimate rejection?

A. When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
X------------------------X
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I...

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I was giving sex tips to my Asian boyfriend...

First, I told him I like long foreplay,

Then, I told him to be a little rougher,

Finally, I told him to eat my pussy.

I’m really looking forward to seeing what he can do tonight!

On an unrelated note, have you seen my cat?

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Asian guy walks into a bar

He sits down at the the bar and start drinking a beer. The guy next to him ask: you know kung fu or karate or any or this shit? The asian guy replies: why you ask this, is because I chinese? The other guy replies no it’s because you’re drinking my fucking beer.

How do you know if Asians are moving into the neighborhood?

The Mexicans start buying car insurance.

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What do you call Chinese chicken served in Europe?

...
...
...
Cock Asian

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What would Hitlers name have been if he was born an Asian?

Lin Cha-Ju.

What do you call it when you make asian food in the jungle?

Taking a Wok on the wild side.

I’ve never understood the stereotype that Asian people are good at math,

so I decided to test it out.

I went up to at least 100 different people in China and asked them a couple of math questions

The first was “What is 109 squared?”. Around 68% of them answered correctly, which I was shocked about.

Then I asked “If 2 lengths of a triangle are 37 and ...

Why can’t 2 caucasians make an Asian child?

Because two whites don’t make Wong

I was sitting at a bar last night and this Asian looking fella sits down next to me and takes a sip of beer.

I glance over at him and ask if he knows any of those martial arts like Kung fu, or Karate or Ju Jitsu. He says no, WTF man!? Are you asking because I’m Chinese?

I said no, it’s because you’re drinking my beer.

There was 3 boys living with their grandfather deep in an Asian jungle.

One day, their grandfather asked them to accompany the grouchy old lady that lived nearby them while she walked out to town. Before they left, their grandfather said, "Behave and remember all that I have have taught you."

As they walked the old lady nagged and nagged. She complained about eve...

What happens when an Asian guy with an erection runs into a wall?

He hurts his nose.

[NSFW] Why don't any of Logan Paul's asian fans ask for high fives anymore?

He tends to leave them hanging.

I recently subscribed to Asian Maritime History Monthly...

but haven't received a single issue. Then I remembered I had "No junk mail" on my door.


This is the worst, super specific pun I've come up with so far.

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Math is like dick

Its long and hard unless you are asian.

P.S. I'm asian and not offended by this.

I wish I knew what my Asian Grandma’s last words - “Chuk phuk suk leee”

I went all the way to China to get them translated.

And now I know what my grandma said to me when she left the world:
“Get off the windpipe”

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A gambler dies and goes to haven...

A professional gambler wins big and dies of an aneurysm. When he gets to the afterlife, he finds himself at the back of a miles-long line to get into Heaven.

Drawing on his experience, the gambler immediately thinks of a way to get ahead of everyone else. He taps the old man ahead of him on t...

Mom why you are white, dad is black but I look asian?

Sweetheart, with all that happen that night is already good enough that you don't bark.

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Asians don't have small penises.

They have chopsdicks.

Asians made the first ever edible glue.

Rice

I once told a joke...

... about Chinese people and the Corona Virus. An overly sensitive and overweight female co-worker said that just because I'm Asian, doesn't mean that the joke wasn't racist...

I asked her, "So if i tell a race joke, does it mean I'm a racist?"

She responded, "Yes, telling a joke based...

Why can't Asian people have white kids?

Because two wongs don't make a white.

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A white woman, an asian woman, and a black woman are seated next to each other on a plane...

The pilot announces that they've lost the engines and instructs the passengers to prepare for a crash landing. Panic erupts on the plane as it begins to rapidly descend. The white lady quickly gets out her purse and starts touching up her make-up. The other two women asked 'What are you doing?' t...

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A guy is minding his own business, drinking at the bar, when a random Asian guy runs in and kicks the living shit out of him.

He's laying on the floor bleeding, and he says, "What the hell, buddy?"

The Asian guy replies, "That was Judo, from Japan!"

A few days later, the guy is quietly drinking again, and another Asian guy runs in and also beats him senseless.

He's lying on the floor and he groans, "W...

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With the way I see Asian people driving, it got me thinking...

Pearl Harbor might have been an accident.

When it comes to technology, Asian countries really do have Europe and America beat.

We’re living in 2019 while they’re already a decade ahead!

In Hollywood they have a museum full celebrities made from wax. In China they have something similar but the celebrities are made out of silk

They are all complete fabric Asians.

If you're Asian when you go into the toilet, and you're Asian when you leave the toilet, what are you when you were in the toilet?

European

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One white man, one black woman, one Asian guy. No, make that one Jewish guy, one Indian guy, and a white man

said the cannibal at the drive-thru.

I was going to give you guys an Asian joke....

But I know some of you would never reddit go.

What is the best way to avoid asian flu?

Have a Phu shot.

I was born to an Asian family

But it was rough, the doctors had to perform a C section.

My dad slapped me at birth for not getting an A+ section.

Why did the Asian guy have his kid vaccinated?

Because it's cheaper than a funeral.

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An Asian man and a Jewish man walk into a bar

The Asian man goes: “Hi, my name is Joe Chan, what’s yours?”

The Jew replies: “Michael Goldberg... Hey you know, I never did forget you Koreans for Pearl Harbor.”

The Asian man, surprised, replies:
“Uhhh... Pearl Harbor was done by the Japanese, not Koreans, and I’m Chinese.”
...

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What do you call an eighteen year old asian prostitute??

Sum Yung Ho

How do Asians make love?

First they dim sum lights

(Courtesy of my little brother)

I just started dating a half Asian girl

Her Mom's Korean, her Dad's Korean, and she lost her legs in a horrible car accident.

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I once attended a 50s music themed table tennis festival in a far east country, hosted by an Asian dictator where all the participants were dressed as famous movie gorillas...

It was Kim Jongs Honk Kong Honky Tonk King Kong Ping Pong Ding Dong

I'll see myself out.

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"Your one and only job is to supply the miners"

The foreman told the asian man before leaving the job site.

Upon the foreman's return a week later he noticed one of the job site workers lackadaisically lounging in the sun.

"Hey Bob! How are ya? Why arent you workin boy?" said the foreman.

"Im too hungry to work. That chinama...

Asian guy goes into bank to check on his million dollars!!!

Asian: why do I only have 999 900 dollars instead of 1 million dollars

Bank teller: Fluctuations

Asian: Fluck you too.

What do you call an Asian wearing a fedora?

Malaysian

Trump has spent about twenty percentage of his days in office playing golf.

(Me, an Asian)
If I spent that much time playing golf, my GPA would go down to a...—————
*takes out calculator*————
*quick math*————
*puts it back*———
98.1. My GPA would go down to a 98.1.
Yeah, schools aren’t that good.

The Saudi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he meets President Trump..

They shake hands and as they walk the Saudi ambassador says, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen here in America."

President Trump says, "Well your excellency, anything I can do to help you?"

The Saudi whispers "My son watches your show *Star Trek* and in it ther...

My father is Irish and my mother is Chinese, so I guess you could say...

I'm "Cork-Asian"

How do you call an Asian Irish dubber?

Dub lin.

A man enters a bar only for Asians...

The bouncer asks "What kind of Asian are you?"

The man answers "I am Caucasian"

My asian aunt's quiet daughter

is called Nosai Hai.

I think thats a great shy niece name.

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What's the worst part about sleeping with an Asian woman?

In an hour you'll be horny again

I'm not racist, i love all races equally

Black, asian, normal, it doesn't matter

With how bad Asians drive

I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident

An asian girl gets stung by a bee.

She runs into her house in a panic and tells for father " Daddy, daddy, I just got stung by a bee!!"

Her father looks at her disappointed and angry and says "What wrong with you?! Why you no get stung by A?!"

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