My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes

It was the end of my Korea

What Asian stereo type do you hear the most?

Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.

How do Asians make love?

First they dim sum lights

(Courtesy of my little brother)

What do asians do when they have an erection?

They vote.

My Asian friend got shot today by someone with a starter pistol.

Police think it may be race related.

When I was a kid, I thought I had a Chinese friend

but turn out, it was nothing more than just my imagine asian.

I was born to an Asian family

But it was rough, the doctors had to perform a C section.

My dad slapped me at birth for not getting an A+ section.

How do you know if you've been burglarized by Asians?

1) Your cat is missing.

2) Someone did all your math homework while you were away.

3) They are still trying to back out of your driveway when you get home.

What do you call an Asian that is born early?

Suden li

What do you call an Asian on an elevator?

Wong on so many levels

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Asian person visits a therapist.

A "I feel like I have 100 problems"

T "Really? What do you think the root of your problems is"

A "10"

An asian girl gets stung by a bee.

She runs into her house in a panic and tells for father " Daddy, daddy, I just got stung by a bee!!"

Her father looks at her disappointed and angry and says "What wrong with you?! Why you no get stung by A?!"

What do you call an Asian wearing a fedora?

Malaysian

With how bad Asians drive

I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident

Why did the Asian kid get beat after his parents checked his blood type

His blood type was a B+

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Asian man and a Jewish man walk into a bar

The Asian man goes: “Hi, my name is Joe Chan, what’s yours?”

The Jew replies: “Michael Goldberg... Hey you know, I never did forget you Koreans for Pearl Harbor.”

The Asian man, surprised, replies:
“Uhhh... Pearl Harbor was done by the Japanese, not Koreans, and I’m Chinese.”
...

What happens when you make an Asian girl squirt?

She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce

I was sitting at a bar last night and this Asian looking fella sits down next to me and takes a sip of beer.

I glance over at him and ask if he knows any of those martial arts like Kung fu, or Karate or Ju Jitsu. He says no, WTF man!? Are you asking because I’m Chinese?

I said no, it’s because you’re drinking my beer.

Asian John Wick walks into a bar

He eats, shoots, and Reeves.

Heard about Asian Schrodinger's Cat?

You have to see it to bereave it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A black guy, a white guy, and an Asian guy are riding in a car.

They get pulled over for speeding and the cop tells them if all together their penises add up to 20 inches, then he will let them go.

So they measure the black guy’s penis and its 10 inches.

Then they measure the white guy’s penis and It’s 9 inches.

They then measure the Asian g...

What is the best way to avoid asian flu?

Have a Phu shot.

I remember when two Asian girls tried flirting with me

They asked me if I wanted to sleep with them. They said it will be like winning the lottery. To my horror they were right... we had six matching balls.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If men who like Asians have Yellow Fever what do men who like gigantic breasts have?

Boobonic Plague

What do you call an Asian fly with no wings?

A wok.

I used to by my dad a neck tie on father's day, but now I buy him an Asian hooker.

It's better to buy a Thai that he'll actually use.

My new Asian Girlfriend asked me if I knew a little Chinese.

I said yeah he lives in number 221.

My Asian friend passed away last week...

So Yung

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An American, a European, and an Asian go to hell.

An american, a European, and an Asian go to hell. They meet the devil and he says ¨You will forever be in hell, but, if the three of your penises combined measure 50 cm or more, you shall receive one more chance, and return to Earth.

They agree, and they measure their penises.

American...

I was at the supermarket, looked three freezers down and saw the most beautiful busty blonde picking out Asian dinners. I took a quick glance at her hand and saw no wedding ring! Well, as you can imagine, I promptly did what any virile, red-blooded man would do with this opportunity...

I got really nervous, said absolutely nothing, and strictly avoided eye-contact at all costs...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I posted an Asian Neo-Nazi post on Facebook.

It's already got 50 reichs

Anyone want to invest in my new African-Asian fusion restaurant?

It's going to be call "Wok like an Egyptian".

I was kicked out of the house by my Asian parents

because I got an O for my blood test instead of an A+.

I thought of this joke myself, but I'm not sure if someone else made it earlier than me.

Asian guy goes to a eye doctor

After the checkup the doctor says "The problem is you have a cataract" then the Asian guy responds with"No I have a tesra"

What do you call an Asian gang?

A study group.

What happens to an Asian when they don't get an A on a test?

They are B-rated

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm dating a half asian girl

Her mom is Japanese.

Her father is Japanese.

Her legs were ripped off in a car accident

With the way I see Asian people driving, it got me thinking...

Pearl Harbor might have been an accident.

They told me that Asians are too small, and that they haven't met a hung Asian before.

Clearly, they haven't been to Aokigahara.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my Asian parents that I am Asexual

They were disappointed that I wasn't A+sexual.

How can you tell if someone is Asian by their handwriting?

Their i’s are slanted.

What do you call the Asian influence in American Culture?

An East infection

What does Asian Khajiit say when you leave his store in?

Arigatou gozaimasu.

[OC]I have a black Asian friend named Bill Wong.

Bill has been my best friend all of my life since like 3rd grade. Recently, he met this girl named Emma Wong and fell in love with her. She is also a black Asian with the same last name.

To be honest, I’m kinda jealous. Ever since he met her he stopped talking to me and if I try to talk...

So an English man, an American, an Asian, a blonde, Chuck Norris and Yo momma walk into a bar...

The barman asks...




Is this some kind of joke?

What's the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who's been run over by a bus?

One's a crustacean, the other's a crushed Asian.

How do you blindfold an asian woman?

With a windshield.

I really wanna post an Asian joke...

But I'm afraid that they wont Reddit go.

I told my asian friend the earth was flat 3 times now

He still hasn't opened his eyes.

A young Asian boy comes home with his homework

He puts the paper in front of his father saying “Daddy! Look! I did so well I got a seahorse sticker!
The father replies “C-HORSE? WHY NOT A-HORSE”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The KKK recently announced that male Asian porn stars are welcome to join the Klan

As they too are a part of he supreme cockasian race

I checked out a brothel and spent time with a bipolar asian girl last night

Dont think I'll be ordering sweet & sour off the menu again any time soon

What do Asian pirates do?

Fry pranes

Currency trading

I used to trade currency. this asian guy came in and wanted to exchange 10,000yen - I gave him $120.

a week later he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $105.

a week after that he came in with another 10,000yen - I gave him $135.

the guy said to me in an annoyed voice...

What do rich, blind, Asians drive?

Cataracts

An Asian driver is being interrogated after an accident

Detective: So, how did you end up killing 49 people?

Jackie: I was driving over 90km/h when I saw 2 men crossing the road. And on the other side, there was a wedding taking place. I hit the brakes but they failed, so I had to make a choice:
Either I hit the 2 men or run into the wedding pa...

How Long Is An Asian Name.

Yes it is.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Asian Man Walks Up to A Bank Teller To Exchange Yen for Dollars....

The teller gives him $180.

The Asian man complains: "But yestaday, I get $200. Why less today?"

The teller shrugs and replies: "Fluctuations"

Livid, the Asian man yells "Well, fuck you Americans too!"

I wasn’t surprised when my artifact from an ancient Asian ship broke.

Piece of junk was made in China.

A man walks into a bar

And orders a drink. Whilst drinking it, a massively scarred Asian dude stumbles in the bar.

"What happened?" The man asks as he downs his drink.

"There's a dragon 10km east from here." The Asian dude rasps before passing out.

So the Man gets on his bike and travels 10km east an...

Why do asians hate arguing with me

Because I’m white and they’re always wong

I wanted to buy some bread from a south-Asian bakery

But i didnt get any because they said they had Naan...



I will leave now

What did the asian plumber say to Ramsey Bolton?

*you have a reek*

A guy walks into a bar...

A guy walks into a bar.

He sees an open seat next to a beautiful Asian woman and takes it.

He asks if he can buy her a drink, and she shakes her head yes.

After a while of him asking her some questions he realizes they like all the same things.

Then he finally works up th...

What do you call a one legged Asian lady?

Irene

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My new Asian mail order bride turned up last month.

Sadly, she has all the "Asian" stereotypes.... including a very tiny penis.

Why was the Asian father disappointed with their newborn child?

He found out their blood type is A-.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The long troubles of Nelson Mandela (LONG)

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by an Asian man clutching a clipboard and yelling, "You sign! You sign!" while pointing at a truckful of car exhausts. Mr Mandela says, "I believe you have the wrong address" and shuts the door. T...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a black guy and a Latino guy and an Asian guy are all walking together!

A man walks up to them with a knife and says “if your dick sizes don’t add up to 20 inches, then you’re all getting stabbed”. The black guy pulls it out and it’s 12 inches. The Latino guy pulls it out and it’s 7 inches. The Asian guys pulls it out and it’s 1 inch. The man with the knife says “you’re...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

With the way I see Asian people driving, it got me thinking...

Pearl Harbor might have been an accident.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a flamboyant asian man who likes to sleep outside?

Camp Ping

"When you saw an Asian woman driving, you should have moved a bit away from the road",

Said the doctor to an injured man.

Injured man: "What road? I was napping on a bench in a park"

Little Johnny ;-)

Little Johnny was in the classroom bored to the back teeth on a Friday afternoon, and the teacher decided to have a game for the kids to get them thinking.

“Okay class. Now I'm going to say a famous quote, and the first person to tell me who said that quote, can have the Monday off.” said the...

What do you call a someone who is a mix heritage between and Asian and and Irish?

rice paddy

What do you call an Asian who spills his latte on his pants?

Chai knees

What do Asian people sing to their children at night?

Wok a bye baby.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I'm proud to be a black man"

"I'm proud to be a black man!" said the black man.

"I'm proud to be an Asian man!" said the Asian man.

"I'm proud to be a white man!" said the racist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Asian man is talking to a white man.

The Asian man says, "I don't understand your elections"

The white man says, "My fetish is my business, piss off"

What’s the term for an Asian person who gets up and cooks mid sleep?

Sleep-wokking

Around 80% of all Asians that move to America get cataracts.

The remaining 20% usually buy chevrorets, rexus, or rincoln. Some even get rand lover.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A white, black, and Asian walked into a bar...

The bartender said, “Holy shit, a panda!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do asian women have small boobs?

Because only A is acceptable.

Given the terms “crab”, “tuna”, “lobster”, and “Chinese guy caught in an avalanche of boulders”, which does not fit?

Ans: “tuna”. The other 3 are crushed asians.

How often did the Asian cow go to the gym?

Dairy

An Asian woman has twins, a boy and a girl.

They came out within two seconds of each other, and the doctors forgot to record which one actually came out first. This was problematic for her as it had been a tradition in her family going back almost a thousand years to name the first born of each generation "Lin". After some discussion from her...

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