I wrote a joke on Malaysian flight MH370...

....but don't know where it went.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian...

... an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Camero...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is alone in an airport lounge.

A beautiful young woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him. He decides that because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty Flight Attendant. So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He lean...

A Chinese Official invites a Malaysian Official to his house

The Malaysian official is in awe that the Chinese official's house is a big and luxurious mansion, so he ask him how did he manage to own such an estate with a public servant's salary.

The Chinese man take him to the balcony, and points to a half built bridge.

"See that bridge? I used ...

Likely only Malaysians will get it but since I always forget jokes that pop in my mind, I've decided to just post it here

A very frustrated Malaysian wife looks at her indecisive Spanish husband and says, "Jose, if you don't decide on a name right now, for our still unnamed 2 year old son, I'm giving him up for adoption!"

With a smirk on his face, Jose yells back, "Fine honey, you decide then, Juan or Don Juan ....

Malaysian Airlines and United should merge

That way they can beat their passengers and no one will ever find out.

I heard some guy tell two terrible Malaysian Airline jokes...

The first one got no response and the second one was shot down in flames

What does a neckbeard say when he travels south of Thailand?

Malaysian

What do you call a Malaysian chocolate factory?

Oompa lumpur

An American, Russian and Malaysian are having a conversation

The American says: "We have the best stealth planes ever. We can fly our B-2 stealth bomber over Beijing and the Chinese will never see."

The Russian, not willing to be out done, says "We also have good stealth planes, so stealthy like Khrushchev and very accurate. 100% not bootleg."

T...

There is a Malaysian '80s cover band called "The Union."

What were they thinking, not going with "Durian Durian"?

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"My wife got hurt after annoying the marsupials on our trip to a Malaysian zoo."

""Kuala Lumpar?"
"No, a kangaroo kicked her up the arse".

A Malaysian man buys a new phone...

He puts it on airplane mode. Now he cant seem to find it anywhere.

How do Malaysian airlines serve all their drinks?

On the rocks

The Malaysian Space Program

One day, the Malaysians decided to launch their first space program and to send a man in a rocket out into space. Since they recognised that this was a dangerous journey, they decided to ask their final three candidates, an Indian, a Malay and a Chinese man, how much of a bonus would they need to gi...

The Only Malaysian Airlines Survivor

Please spare a thought and your sympathy for the man who told his wife he was going to China on Malaysian Airlines flight MH370...

And now can't come out of his girlfriend's apartment.

What does R. Kelly have in common with Malaysian Airlines?

They both think they can fly.

Why don't Malaysian TV shows get commissioned?

Because they all have terrible pilots.

Last time I flew on Malaysian Airlines, I decided not to shower first.

I figured I could just wash up on shore.

Whatever happened to Malaysian flight 370?

It just fell off the radar

Why has the Malaysian Government banned Cheese Boards?

Because people keep reporting they've found de brie.

Dark jokes are like Malaysian Airlines flights

They're either hit or miss.

What do you call an Asian wearing a fedora?

Malaysian

one of the best documentarys

ive ever watched on netflix is about a chinese couple who didnt board the Malaysian flight 370 (one that disappeared) when they should have done. All sorts of conspiracy theories. worth a watch, highly recommended.

It's called 2 wongs dont make a flight

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A very clean joke

A Portuguese, Spaniard, Dane, Finn, Swede, German, French, Italian, Belgian, Austrian, Czech, Polish, Russian, Afgani, Serbian, Brit, Irish, Scot, Sardinian, Corsican, Icelander, Belarian, Romanian, Yugoslavian, Hungarian, Ukrainian, Bulgarian, Turk, Morrocan, Algerian, Liberian, Sudanese, S. Africa...

"I'm getting sick of eating airline food all the time."

Said the Malaysian shark.

The Malaysian athletes at the Commonwealth Games are looking very nervous

Must be thinking about the flight home already.

Four men walk into an upmarket bar...

One is Malaysian, one Laotian, one Burmese and the other Vietnamese. As they walk in, the doorman stops them and says, "sorry gentlemen, I can't let you in without a Thai."

What is empty and spins round and round?

A Malaysian Airlines baggage claim.

My father said his Computer crashed...

I asked him, what he did.

"I googled 'Malaysian Airlines'", he replied.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three amateur shoemakers enter their finest pair of footwear into a competition and are about to be graded on their handiwork ...

The judge goes to the black girl and says "These are the finest pair of shoes I have ever seen! *A+*!"

Then the judge walks up to chubby malaysian boy and says "Good effort, but you could've done better. *C-*."

Finally, the judge approaches the ginger boy and moans "Not even a pauper ...

What did one ocean say to the other?

"Check out this awesome plane I got! I hear Malaysian is a pretty rare brand."

"Nah man, they aren't; I got one too."

WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?

Malaysian airlines 173

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