This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some people ask me how I got out of Iran

Well the answer to that is...

Iraq

Oh wait crap

The President of Iran calls Trump & tells him "I had a dream last night...."

"New York was in ruins & aflame, with Iranian flags flying above."

Trump replies: "Funny, I had a dream last night too. Teheran beautiful and prosperous, happy people celebrating in the streets, with big banners hanging everywhere."

"What did the banners say?", asked the Iranian P...

I was Hungary so Iran to the store to get some Turkey

Which I cooked in Greece, and served with a side of Chile, which I ate with my friends Jordan and Chad. Sudanly we had Togo because we were Ghana get in trouble because we didn’t Finnish paying. But I’ve Benin trouble before, there was Norway they were going to catch me, I Congo much faster than the...

Ya know I hear Iran has no Walmarts

Only Targets.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Iran.

Iran who?

Iran all the way here. Let me in already!

With all this tension between Iran and America and possible war a lot misinformation can be spread so I just wanted to remind everyone who shot first

Han.

You're a Savage Warrior. You're a barbarian. You come from a city in Iran. You're a Barbar Barbarian.

You're known for hanging around your favorite drinking establishment. You're a Barbar bar barbarian.

You get exiled. You're a barred Barbar bar barbarian.

You get a job cutting hair. You're a barred Barbar bar barbarian barber.

You are the exclusive hairstylist of a popular chil...

Trump is a genius threatening to attack historical cultural sites in Iran

He knows that the Iranians won't find any of these in the US to retaliate

Just got back from my trip to Iran

It was a blast!

Why doesn't Iran have an Walmarts?

Because they have a Target at every corner.

What's all this news about Iran?

Sounds like they are stuck between Iraq and a hard place.

Word on the street is Iran needs a new General.

Trump is doing so great, he’s even creating jobs in Iran.

Some street joke from IRAN

Somewhere in Iran a Mullah is walking the street and suddenly falls into a hole.

Some people walking around rush to the top of the hole to help him :

\- Give us your hand !

The Mullah stand still in the bottom of the hole while the people keep shouting to him.

After a fe...

Iran bans Americans from traveling there.

Won't beheading there anymore

When i realized who was in WW3

Iran

ahhh, the negotiator

usa: knock knock


Iran: who's there


usa: door mom


Iran: door mom who


usa: I've come to bargain.

Trump: Siri, how many miles did i ran today?

Siri: Sending missiles to Iran today.

Guess how i escaped Iraq..

Iran

SYRIASLY

The military just came to my door saying I was getting drafted, guess what I did

Iran

"How did you dodge the draft?"

"Iran"

A soldier is running from the Military Police

He spots a Nun and says, "Sister, Sister. Please let me hide inside your habit! I'll explain why later."

The sister nods an okay and the soldier hides. The MP gets there and asked the Nun if she saw a soldier pass by.

The Nun, in a nervous and squeaky voice says, "Yes! He went that way...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump and Epstein are at a bar.

So trump and Epstein are sitting at a bar talking when a regular walks in. The regular, Joe, walks up to the bartender and says "holy shit is that Trump and Epstein?!"

"Yep" says the bartender "go say hi they're real friendly"

Joe is like alright cool and walks over. "Hey president T...

Trumps so good at making jobs

He even opened some up in Iran!

What's flat, black and glows in the dark?

Iran if they keep it up

President Trump is so good at creating jobs.

He even just recently opened up a job in Iran. I heard they’re looking for a new General

The Nun

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please may I hide under your skirt? I will explain later."

The nun agreed. A moment later Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier run by here?"

The nun replied, "Nope, not today sir, god bless you" After the...

What did the Arab Nations say when Iran blockaded the Strait of Hormuz?

OMAN...

After World War 2, France seriously considered changing its name.

Unfortunately Iran was already taken.

The band A Flock of Seagulls is not concerned with WWIII. They've stated that conflicts typically happen with neighboring countries.

And Iraaaaan...Iran's so far awaaaay....

A man scared me in Persia,

So Iran

When my kid asks how i survived WW3 id tell him this...

Iran

I don't know if anybody's done this before

the US tried to draft me
but Iran away.

"How did you not get drafted into the war?"

"Heh." I chuckled.

"Iran."

I’ve been convinced: Trump really is trying to create more jobs

I hear the unemployment rate for military analysts in Iran is at a record low!

A Geography Lesson from Flock of Seagulls

Y'see, kids, Canada is to the north of the US, and Mexico's to the south, *and Iran, Iran's so far away*.

What did I do when a terrorist attacked?

Iran

I didnt see anything

An iranian, an english, and a french lady decide to tell their husbands that they are tired from doing chores and they dont want to do housework anymore.
After a week they reported the results as such:

The english lady: I didn't see anything the first three days but on the fourth day my hu...

A couple of hours after Trump approved "offensive" cyber strikes against Iran's missile systems, he is heard shouting at his generals

Trump : WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE ARE NOT SENDING THE TROOPS????

General : But..But… sir, this is an attack via cyber space..

Trump : DO YOU THINK I AM THAT STUPID?? WHAT'S THE SPACE FORCE FOR THEN???

The rockets were approaching...

So Iran.

A man finally returns home from WWIII to his dog

The dog asks:
“Did you go for a walk without me?”

The man replies:
“No, Iran”

I wanted to get this joke out to the world

They drafted me for WWIII, but Iran.

Do you know what I did when I found the site the general was killed at?

Iran

President Trump has refused to release the full report proving claims that Iran is developing a fighting force of flying dinosaurs. He’s released a version of the report but

It’s been pterodacted

The Persian empire fell

So Iran.

What was the name of Iran’s first 80’s cover band ?

Quran Quran

Just bought a new game where you have to paint pictures of Ancient Iran

It’s called Prints of Persia

Donald Trump...

-A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits the Middle East.
-Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured.
-Iraq, Iran and Syria are totally ruined and the governments don't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.
-The rest of the world ...

A lot of people in Iran think that president, Hassan Rouhani went way over the line when he threatened the US with the mother of all wars in his latest speech.

In fact they are so concerned about the angry Twitter response from president Trump that they are going to set up their own ‘Mullah investigation’ to look into the matter.

With terrorists in Iran, Turkey helping fund ISIS, and Greece in economic shambles I must ask.

If Iran attacked Turkey from the rear do you think Greece would help?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How did I get out of Iran?

Iraq.

In Iran, everyone's scared of spiders..

But in Iraq, no phobia.

My middle eastern friend was held at gunpoint.

He told me he was able to get out of the situation,

I asked him, “How?”

He said

“Iran”

I met a guy from the Middle East after a marathon

I asked him if he walked it.
No, he said, Iran.

Anyone got any jokes about the Middle East?

I guess Iran out of ideas

So the 2017 World Chess Championships are being held in Iran. There's going to be some rule changes:

Queens won't be able to move without the king's permission, and bishops will face summary execution for spreading the word of the false prophet

A flock of seagulls wanted to fly to Iran...

..but Iran so far away!

That weird middle eastern guy insisted on giving me a ride home

Iran

I was studying abroad in the Middle East, when a flock of seagulls attacked

Iran so far away.. ‘Couldn’t get away

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why dont they have Drivers Education and Sex Education class on the same day in Iran

Because it would kill the camel

A man in Terhan finished a marathon.

A fellow entered the state marathon, in Terhran. The runner suprised everyone by finishing in record time. With great curiosity, the judges and government asked how he could possibly finish in such a speedy time. The man, humbly, responds with...

'Iran.'

Whats an athlete’s favorite country?

Iran

There was once a marathon runner who had become quite famous and won many awards for his records.

He was so well liked that eventually he became the president of Iran. During his tenure he managed to take over multiple countries including Azerbaijan, Bulgaria, Greece, Armenia, Georgia, Iraq and Syria. They were all assimilated and became a part of Iran. The only country he didn’t manage to take ...

What did i do to escape Iraq?

Iran



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