The President of Iran calls Trump & tells him "I had a dream last night...."

"New York was in ruins & aflame, with Iranian flags flying above."

Trump replies: "Funny, I had a dream last night too. Teheran beautiful and prosperous, happy people celebrating in the streets, with big banners hanging everywhere."

"What did the banners say?", asked the Iranian P...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some people ask me how I got out of Iran

Well the answer to that is...

Iraq

Oh wait crap

I was Hungary so Iran to the store to get some Turkey

Which I cooked in Greece, and served with a side of Chile, which I ate with my friends Jordan and Chad. Sudanly we had Togo because we were Ghana get in trouble because we didn’t Finnish paying. But I’ve Benin trouble before, there was Norway they were going to catch me, I Congo much faster than the...

Iran has announced a controversial move to reopen outdoor markets

Experts have described the move as a bazaar decision

Some street joke from IRAN

Somewhere in Iran a Mullah is walking the street and suddenly falls into a hole.

Some people walking around rush to the top of the hole to help him :

\- Give us your hand !

The Mullah stand still in the bottom of the hole while the people keep shouting to him.

After a fe...

Ya know I hear Iran has no Walmarts

Only Targets.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Iran.

Iran who?

Iran all the way here. Let me in already!

Someone asked Trump if there were any Walmarts in Iran.

He replied "No, they only have Targets."

You're a Savage Warrior. You're a barbarian. You come from a city in Iran. You're a Barbar Barbarian.

You're known for hanging around your favorite drinking establishment. You're a Barbar bar barbarian.

You get exiled. You're a barred Barbar bar barbarian.

You get a job cutting hair. You're a barred Barbar bar barbarian barber.

You are the exclusive hairstylist of a popular chil...

What's all this news about Iran?

Sounds like they are stuck between Iraq and a hard place.

Quarantine seasonal travel

Oman, I really can't wait to Rome around.

Venice this going to get over?

You can't say when this lockdown will be over, Kenya?

Quarantine has made my Delhi routine too boring.

I've been Washingtons of utensils.

This Spain is real.

Stay home, stay safe. What'...

With all this tension between Iran and America and possible war a lot misinformation can be spread so I just wanted to remind everyone who shot first

Han.

This one time a Persian guy tried to fight me

Iran

Word on the street is Iran needs a new General.

Trump is doing so great, he’s even creating jobs in Iran.

Okay, my humor is a bit dry, but enjoy? I guess? You probably won’t but eh, I don’t care.

So the president asked one of his advisers if there were any Walmart’s in Iran, but his advisor replies:

“Mr. President, there are no Walmart’s in Iran, only targets.”

Just got back from my trip to Iran

It was a blast!

Iran bans Americans from traveling there.

Won't beheading there anymore

Why doesn't Iran have an Walmarts?

Because they have a Target at every corner.

When i realized who was in WW3

Iran

The military just came to my door saying I was getting drafted, guess what I did

Iran

Guess how i escaped Iraq..

Iran

SYRIASLY

ahhh, the negotiator

usa: knock knock


Iran: who's there


usa: door mom


Iran: door mom who


usa: I've come to bargain.

Who's on first...

Then the CDC, then the respective foreign ministers of Iran and Italy.

That will be the running order of the press conference

Trump: Siri, how many miles did i ran today?

Siri: Sending missiles to Iran today.

A soldier is running from the Military Police

He spots a Nun and says, "Sister, Sister. Please let me hide inside your habit! I'll explain why later."

The sister nods an okay and the soldier hides. The MP gets there and asked the Nun if she saw a soldier pass by.

The Nun, in a nervous and squeaky voice says, "Yes! He went that way...

President Trump is so good at creating jobs.

He even just recently opened up a job in Iran. I heard they’re looking for a new General

What's flat, black and glows in the dark?

Iran if they keep it up

Trumps so good at making jobs

He even opened some up in Iran!

After World War 2, France seriously considered changing its name.

Unfortunately Iran was already taken.

What did the Arab Nations say when Iran blockaded the Strait of Hormuz?

OMAN...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump and Epstein are at a bar.

So trump and Epstein are sitting at a bar talking when a regular walks in. The regular, Joe, walks up to the bartender and says "holy shit is that Trump and Epstein?!"

"Yep" says the bartender "go say hi they're real friendly"

Joe is like alright cool and walks over. "Hey president T...

A Geography Lesson from Flock of Seagulls

Y'see, kids, Canada is to the north of the US, and Mexico's to the south, *and Iran, Iran's so far away*.

What was Iran called before it was formed in 1979?

Running.

The band A Flock of Seagulls is not concerned with WWIII. They've stated that conflicts typically happen with neighboring countries.

And Iraaaaan...Iran's so far awaaaay....

President Trump has refused to release the full report proving claims that Iran is developing a fighting force of flying dinosaurs. He’s released a version of the report but

It’s been pterodacted

"How did you not get drafted into the war?"

"Heh." I chuckled.

"Iran."

I didnt see anything

An iranian, an english, and a french lady decide to tell their husbands that they are tired from doing chores and they dont want to do housework anymore.
After a week they reported the results as such:

The english lady: I didn't see anything the first three days but on the fourth day my hu...

If you were born in Iran and raised in the UK, what does that make you?

A Ukranian?

A man scared me in Persia,

So Iran

I don't know if anybody's done this before

the US tried to draft me
but Iran away.

When my kid asks how i survived WW3 id tell him this...

Iran

What did I do when a terrorist attacked?

Iran

A couple of hours after Trump approved "offensive" cyber strikes against Iran's missile systems, he is heard shouting at his generals

Trump : WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE ARE NOT SENDING THE TROOPS????

General : But..But… sir, this is an attack via cyber space..

Trump : DO YOU THINK I AM THAT STUPID?? WHAT'S THE SPACE FORCE FOR THEN???

Donald Trump runs into a bar

The bartender asks "hey buddy, why are you all sweaty? Did you ride your bike to get here?"


Donald replies "No. Iran."

A man finally returns home from WWIII to his dog

The dog asks:
“Did you go for a walk without me?”

The man replies:
“No, Iran”

Donald Trump...

-A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits the Middle East.
-Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured.
-Iraq, Iran and Syria are totally ruined and the governments don't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.
-The rest of the world ...

The rockets were approaching...

So Iran.

What was the name of Iran’s first 80’s cover band ?

Quran Quran

I’ve been convinced: Trump really is trying to create more jobs

I hear the unemployment rate for military analysts in Iran is at a record low!

A lot of people in Iran think that president, Hassan Rouhani went way over the line when he threatened the US with the mother of all wars in his latest speech.

In fact they are so concerned about the angry Twitter response from president Trump that they are going to set up their own ‘Mullah investigation’ to look into the matter.

So the 2017 World Chess Championships are being held in Iran. There's going to be some rule changes:

Queens won't be able to move without the king's permission, and bishops will face summary execution for spreading the word of the false prophet

Just bought a new game where you have to paint pictures of Ancient Iran

It’s called Prints of Persia

Trump announced plans to pull out of Iran deal.

And if that doesn't work he'll just pay them a bunch of taxpayer money to get the abortion and keep quiet about it.

With terrorists in Iran, Turkey helping fund ISIS, and Greece in economic shambles I must ask.

If Iran attacked Turkey from the rear do you think Greece would help?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How did I get out of Iran?

Iraq.

My middle eastern friend was held at gunpoint.

He told me he was able to get out of the situation,

I asked him, “How?”

He said

“Iran”

A flock of seagulls wanted to fly to Iran...

..but Iran so far away!

In Iran, everyone's scared of spiders..

But in Iraq, no phobia.

I met a guy from the Middle East after a marathon

I asked him if he walked it.
No, he said, Iran.

Anyone got any jokes about the Middle East?

I guess Iran out of ideas

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why dont they have Drivers Education and Sex Education class on the same day in Iran

Because it would kill the camel

I was studying abroad in the Middle East, when a flock of seagulls attacked

Iran so far away.. ‘Couldn’t get away

That weird middle eastern guy insisted on giving me a ride home

Iran

What did i do to escape Iraq?

Iran



Don’t worry this story Israel

A man in Terhan finished a marathon.

A fellow entered the state marathon, in Terhran. The runner suprised everyone by finishing in record time. With great curiosity, the judges and government asked how he could possibly finish in such a speedy time. The man, humbly, responds with...

'Iran.'

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