What is the national bird of Iran?

An US drone

Ya know I hear Iran has no Walmarts

Only Targets.

I was Hungary so Iran to the store to get some Turkey

Which I cooked in Greece, and served with a side of Chile, which I ate with my friends Jordan and Chad. Sudanly we had Togo because we were Ghana get in trouble because we didn’t Finnish paying. But I’ve Benin trouble before, there was Norway they were going to catch me, I Congo much faster than the...

Why doesn't Iran have an Walmarts?

Because they have a Target at every corner.

The President of Iran calls Trump & tells him "I had a dream last night...."

"New York was in ruins & aflame, with Iranian flags flying above."

Trump replies: "Funny, I had a dream last night too. Teheran beautiful and prosperous, happy people celebrating in the streets, with big banners hanging everywhere."

"What did the banners say?", asked the Iranian P...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a genie appeared. The genie said, "I can only grant you one wish. So ... what will it be?"

The young woman pulled out a map of the middle east from her back pack. "See these countries, Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Iran, Iraq, Palestine and Israel etc. Well I want them all to live in peace" she said. The Genie studied the map. "WTF lady, they've been fighting each other for hundreds of years, th...

Someone told me to go back to my own country

So Iran

Iran has announced a controversial move to reopen outdoor markets

Experts have described the move as a bazaar decision

Guess how i escaped Iraq..

Iran

SYRIASLY

What is the best country for retired runners?

Iran

I used to have a Persian girlfriend..

But Iran away.

You know why Iran's new navy has glass bottom ships...?

So they can see the old Iran navy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Israelis are sitting on the beach in Tel Aviv...

... reading newspapers. One is reading a reputed newspaper published in Tel Aviv, but the other is reading an anti-Semitic propaganda paper published by Iranian subverts.

The first guy asks the second: "why in God's name are you reading that anti-Semitic rag?"

The second guy responded...

4 former US Presidents are caught in a tornado

Four former U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they spin to OZ.

After trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.

"WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL WIZARD OF OZ? WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

Jimmy Carter...

Nation dialogue

You know, I was very Hungary one day, so I went to go Czech the fridge. I managed to find some Turkey that was leftover from Thanksgiving, but it was all covered in Greece. So I closed the fridge and Czech'd the pantry. I saw a Canada beans, so I grabbed them and microwaved them, but it exploded. My...

People in Iran are scared of spiders

But in Iraq, no phobia.

My dog's mother is from England and his father is from Iran

He's a pom-iranian

Word on the street is Iran needs a new General.

Trump is doing so great, he’s even creating jobs in Iran.

What did the Arab Nations say when Iran blockaded the Strait of Hormuz?

OMAN...

Hey, you wanna know how I got to the east of Iraq?

Iran

Quarantine seasonal travel

Oman, I really can't wait to Rome around.

Venice this going to get over?

You can't say when this lockdown will be over, Kenya?

Quarantine has made my Delhi routine too boring.

I've been Washingtons of utensils.

This Spain is real.

Stay home, stay safe. What'...

Okay, my humor is a bit dry, but enjoy? I guess? You probably won’t but eh, I don’t care.

So the president asked one of his advisers if there were any Walmart’s in Iran, but his advisor replies:

“Mr. President, there are no Walmart’s in Iran, only targets.”

Just got back from my trip to Iran

It was a blast!

After World War 2, France seriously considered changing its name.

Unfortunately Iran was already taken.

Did you know the 80's pop band "A Flock of Seagulls" is gaining alot of attention in the middle east? They're getting really popular in Pakistan, Afghanistan

And Iran, I ran so far away!

I was going for a walk in the desert in Afghanistan.

Off in the distance I saw what I thought was a mirage but as I got closer I could see it's wasn't a mirage, Israel.

It was two men arguing, so I tried to calm the situation down but they turned against me. The one man threw Iraq, so Iran all the way home.

Agitated by the encounter I t...

Some street joke from IRAN

Somewhere in Iran a Mullah is walking the street and suddenly falls into a hole.

Some people walking around rush to the top of the hole to help him :

\- Give us your hand !

The Mullah stand still in the bottom of the hole while the people keep shouting to him.

After a fe...

Trump and McConnell are in a restaurant

They are discussing their plans to invade Iran. A man walks by their table, intrigued by their conversation and asks them what they are talking about.

Trump explains to the man, “We’re going to invade Iran and kill 10 million Iranians and one bicycle repairman.”

The man exclaims, “Why...

This one time a Persian guy tried to fight me

Iran

Who's on first...

Then the CDC, then the respective foreign ministers of Iran and Italy.

That will be the running order of the press conference

What's all this news about Iran?

Sounds like they are stuck between Iraq and a hard place.

I don't know if anybody's done this before

the US tried to draft me
but Iran away.

What did I do when a terrorist attacked?

Iran

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some people ask me how I got out of Iran

Well the answer to that is...

Iraq

Oh wait crap

What was Iran called before it was formed in 1979?

Running.

Punchline not included.

Timmy : I'm Hungary.

Mum : Why don't you Czech the fridge.

Timmy : Ok, I'm Russian to the kitchen.

Mum : Hmm...maybe you'll find some Turkey.

Timmy : Yeah, but its all covered in Greece. Yuck !

Mum : There is Norway you can eat that.

Timmy : I know, I gu...

The Chicago Bears new quarterback.

The Chicago Bears were desperately looking for a new quarterback. With all normal options not working out they looked outside the United States. They found a terrorist in Iran who was able to throw a grenade 100 yards and have it go through a 3rd story window every time. The Bears signed him immedi...

Trump is a genius threatening to attack historical cultural sites in Iran

He knows that the Iranians won't find any of these in the US to retaliate

I’ve been convinced: Trump really is trying to create more jobs

I hear the unemployment rate for military analysts in Iran is at a record low!

A soldier is running from the Military Police

He spots a Nun and says, "Sister, Sister. Please let me hide inside your habit! I'll explain why later."

The sister nods an okay and the soldier hides. The MP gets there and asked the Nun if she saw a soldier pass by.

The Nun, in a nervous and squeaky voice says, "Yes! He went that way...

The rockets were approaching...

So Iran.

When my kid asks how i survived WW3 id tell him this...

Iran

What did I do when I got drafted to the US army for the WW3

Iran.

What's flat, black and glows in the dark?

Iran if they keep it up

ahhh, the negotiator

usa: knock knock


Iran: who's there


usa: door mom


Iran: door mom who


usa: I've come to bargain.

The military told me that I was being drafted. You know what I did?

Iran.

Trump: Siri, how many miles did i ran today?

Siri: Sending missiles to Iran today.

You're a Savage Warrior. You're a barbarian. You come from a city in Iran. You're a Barbar Barbarian.

You're known for hanging around your favorite drinking establishment. You're a Barbar bar barbarian.

You get exiled. You're a barred Barbar bar barbarian.

You get a job cutting hair. You're a barred Barbar bar barbarian barber.

You are the exclusive hairstylist of a popular chil...

President Trump has refused to release the full report proving claims that Iran is developing a fighting force of flying dinosaurs. He’s released a version of the report but

It’s been pterodacted

If you were born in Iran and raised in the UK, what does that make you?

A Ukranian?

Donald Trump runs into a bar

The bartender asks "hey buddy, why are you all sweaty? Did you ride your bike to get here?"


Donald replies "No. Iran."

President Trump is so good at creating jobs.

He even just recently opened up a job in Iran. I heard they’re looking for a new General

Trumps so good at making jobs

He even opened some up in Iran!

The band A Flock of Seagulls is not concerned with WWIII. They've stated that conflicts typically happen with neighboring countries.

And Iraaaaan...Iran's so far awaaaay....

A Geography Lesson from Flock of Seagulls

Y'see, kids, Canada is to the north of the US, and Mexico's to the south, *and Iran, Iran's so far away*.

A man finally returns home from WWIII to his dog

The dog asks:
“Did you go for a walk without me?”

The man replies:
“No, Iran”

"How did you not get drafted into the war?"

"Heh." I chuckled.

"Iran."

A couple of hours after Trump approved "offensive" cyber strikes against Iran's missile systems, he is heard shouting at his generals

Trump : WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE ARE NOT SENDING THE TROOPS????

General : But..But… sir, this is an attack via cyber space..

Trump : DO YOU THINK I AM THAT STUPID?? WHAT'S THE SPACE FORCE FOR THEN???

My middle eastern friend was held at gunpoint.

He told me he was able to get out of the situation,

I asked him, “How?”

He said

“Iran”

Just bought a new game where you have to paint pictures of Ancient Iran

It’s called Prints of Persia

What did i do to escape Iraq?

Iran



Don’t worry this story Israel

Whats an athlete’s favorite country?

Iran

A man in Terhan finished a marathon.

A fellow entered the state marathon, in Terhran. The runner suprised everyone by finishing in record time. With great curiosity, the judges and government asked how he could possibly finish in such a speedy time. The man, humbly, responds with...

'Iran.'

There was once a marathon runner who had become quite famous and won many awards for his records.

He was so well liked that eventually he became the president of Iran. During his tenure he managed to take over multiple countries including Azerbaijan, Bulgaria, Greece, Armenia, Georgia, Iraq and Syria. They were all assimilated and became a part of Iran. The only country he didn’t manage to take ...

A lot of people in Iran think that president, Hassan Rouhani went way over the line when he threatened the US with the mother of all wars in his latest speech.

In fact they are so concerned about the angry Twitter response from president Trump that they are going to set up their own ‘Mullah investigation’ to look into the matter.

What was the name of Iran’s first 80’s cover band ?

Quran Quran

I hear the weather in Saudi Arabia is very Sunni...

But the weather in Iran is Shiite.

That weird middle eastern guy insisted on giving me a ride home

Iran

If you get caught stealing in most countries, the police take your fingerprints and release you...

If you get caught stealing in Iran, the police take your fingerprints and you don't get them back.

A flock of seagulls wanted to fly to Iran...

..but Iran so far away!

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