The President of Iran calls Trump & tells him "I had a dream last night...."

"New York was in ruins & aflame, with Iranian flags flying above."

Trump replies: "Funny, I had a dream last night too. Teheran beautiful and prosperous, happy people celebrating in the streets, with big banners hanging everywhere."

"What did the banners say?", asked the Iranian P...

Got kidnapped in Iran

Luckily iran

What is the national bird of Iran?

An US drone

Ya know I hear Iran has no Walmarts

Only Targets.

I was Hungary so Iran to the store to get some Turkey

Which I cooked in Greece, and served with a side of Chile, which I ate with my friends Jordan and Chad. Sudanly we had Togo because we were Ghana get in trouble because we didn’t Finnish paying. But I’ve Benin trouble before, there was Norway they were going to catch me, I Congo much faster than the...

Why doesn't Iran have an Walmarts?

Because they have a Target at every corner.

Iran bans Americans from traveling there.

Won't beheading there anymore

Word on the street is Iran needs a new General.

Trump is doing so great, he’s even creating jobs in Iran.

In Iran, everyone is so very afraid of spiders.

But in Iraq no phobia.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold a genie appeared. The genie said, "I can only grant you one wish. So ... what will it be?"

The young woman pulled out a map of the middle east from her back pack. "See these countries, Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Iran, Iraq, Palestine and Israel etc. Well I want them all to live in peace" she said. The Genie studied the map. "WTF lady, they've been fighting each other for hundreds of years, th...

Someone told me to go back to my own country

So Iran

Iran has announced a controversial move to reopen outdoor markets

Experts have described the move as a bazaar decision

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some people ask me how I got out of Iran

Well the answer to that is...

Iraq

Oh wait crap

What did Alanis Morissette say when she visited the Middle East?

Isn’t it Iranic?

Some street joke from IRAN

Somewhere in Iran a Mullah is walking the street and suddenly falls into a hole.

Some people walking around rush to the top of the hole to help him :

\- Give us your hand !

The Mullah stand still in the bottom of the hole while the people keep shouting to him.

After a fe...

What did the Arab Nations say when Iran blockaded the Strait of Hormuz?

OMAN...

You're a Savage Warrior. You're a barbarian. You come from a city in Iran. You're a Barbar Barbarian.

You're known for hanging around your favorite drinking establishment. You're a Barbar bar barbarian.

You get exiled. You're a barred Barbar bar barbarian.

You get a job cutting hair. You're a barred Barbar bar barbarian barber.

You are the exclusive hairstylist of a popular chil...

What's all this news about Iran?

Sounds like they are stuck between Iraq and a hard place.

Someone asked Trump if there were any Walmarts in Iran.

He replied "No, they only have Targets."

Trump and McConnell are in a restaurant

They are discussing their plans to invade Iran. A man walks by their table, intrigued by their conversation and asks them what they are talking about.

Trump explains to the man, “We’re going to invade Iran and kill 10 million Iranians and one bicycle repairman.”

The man exclaims, “Why...

Trump is a genius threatening to attack historical cultural sites in Iran

He knows that the Iranians won't find any of these in the US to retaliate

I used to have a Persian girlfriend..

But Iran away.

President Trump has refused to release the full report proving claims that Iran is developing a fighting force of flying dinosaurs. He’s released a version of the report but

It’s been pterodacted

What was Iran called before it was formed in 1979?

Running.

A couple of hours after Trump approved "offensive" cyber strikes against Iran's missile systems, he is heard shouting at his generals

Trump : WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE ARE NOT SENDING THE TROOPS????

General : But..But… sir, this is an attack via cyber space..

Trump : DO YOU THINK I AM THAT STUPID?? WHAT'S THE SPACE FORCE FOR THEN???

This one time a Persian guy tried to fight me

Iran

The geography of men and women.

The geography of a woman:

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered , half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like ...

Did you know the 80's pop band "A Flock of Seagulls" is gaining alot of attention in the middle east? They're getting really popular in Pakistan, Afghanistan

And Iran, I ran so far away!

I was going for a walk in the desert in Afghanistan.

Off in the distance I saw what I thought was a mirage but as I got closer I could see it's wasn't a mirage, Israel.

It was two men arguing, so I tried to calm the situation down but they turned against me. The one man threw Iraq, so Iran all the way home.

Agitated by the encounter I t...

Trump: Siri, how many miles did i ran today?

Siri: Sending missiles to Iran today.

The Chicago Bears new quarterback.

The Chicago Bears were desperately looking for a new quarterback. With all normal options not working out they looked outside the United States. They found a terrorist in Iran who was able to throw a grenade 100 yards and have it go through a 3rd story window every time. The Bears signed him immedi...

When i realized who was in WW3

Iran

Quarantine seasonal travel

Oman, I really can't wait to Rome around.

Venice this going to get over?

You can't say when this lockdown will be over, Kenya?

Quarantine has made my Delhi routine too boring.

I've been Washingtons of utensils.

This Spain is real.

Stay home, stay safe. What'...

What was the name of Iran’s first 80’s cover band ?

Quran Quran

Just bought a new game where you have to paint pictures of Ancient Iran

It’s called Prints of Persia

Guess how i escaped Iraq..

Iran

SYRIASLY

Yesterday, Iran asked the U.S. for an extension on disabling their nuclear program.

When asked how much time they needed, they said, “10, 9, 8…”

ahhh, the negotiator

usa: knock knock


Iran: who's there


usa: door mom


Iran: door mom who


usa: I've come to bargain.

Okay, my humor is a bit dry, but enjoy? I guess? You probably won’t but eh, I don’t care.

So the president asked one of his advisers if there were any Walmart’s in Iran, but his advisor replies:

“Mr. President, there are no Walmart’s in Iran, only targets.”

The military just came to my door saying I was getting drafted, guess what I did

Iran

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump and Epstein are at a bar.

So trump and Epstein are sitting at a bar talking when a regular walks in. The regular, Joe, walks up to the bartender and says "holy shit is that Trump and Epstein?!"

"Yep" says the bartender "go say hi they're real friendly"

Joe is like alright cool and walks over. "Hey president T...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How did I get out of Iran?

Iraq.

A lot of people in Iran think that president, Hassan Rouhani went way over the line when he threatened the US with the mother of all wars in his latest speech.

In fact they are so concerned about the angry Twitter response from president Trump that they are going to set up their own ‘Mullah investigation’ to look into the matter.

A soldier is running from the Military Police

He spots a Nun and says, "Sister, Sister. Please let me hide inside your habit! I'll explain why later."

The sister nods an okay and the soldier hides. The MP gets there and asked the Nun if she saw a soldier pass by.

The Nun, in a nervous and squeaky voice says, "Yes! He went that way...

Trumps so good at making jobs

He even opened some up in Iran!

What's flat, black and glows in the dark?

Iran if they keep it up

President Trump is so good at creating jobs.

He even just recently opened up a job in Iran. I heard they’re looking for a new General

When my kid asks how i survived WW3 id tell him this...

Iran

I don't know if anybody's done this before

the US tried to draft me
but Iran away.

A Geography Lesson from Flock of Seagulls

Y'see, kids, Canada is to the north of the US, and Mexico's to the south, *and Iran, Iran's so far away*.

So the 2017 World Chess Championships are being held in Iran. There's going to be some rule changes:

Queens won't be able to move without the king's permission, and bishops will face summary execution for spreading the word of the false prophet

With terrorists in Iran, Turkey helping fund ISIS, and Greece in economic shambles I must ask.

If Iran attacked Turkey from the rear do you think Greece would help?

The band A Flock of Seagulls is not concerned with WWIII. They've stated that conflicts typically happen with neighboring countries.

And Iraaaaan...Iran's so far awaaaay....

Who's on first...

Then the CDC, then the respective foreign ministers of Iran and Italy.

That will be the running order of the press conference

A flock of seagulls wanted to fly to Iran...

..but Iran so far away!

I’ve been convinced: Trump really is trying to create more jobs

I hear the unemployment rate for military analysts in Iran is at a record low!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why dont they have Drivers Education and Sex Education class on the same day in Iran

Because it would kill the camel

"How did you not get drafted into the war?"

"Heh." I chuckled.

"Iran."

A man finally returns home from WWIII to his dog

The dog asks:
“Did you go for a walk without me?”

The man replies:
“No, Iran”

An Arabian person asked me and said “How did you get out of Iraq”

“Iran”

That weird middle eastern guy insisted on giving me a ride home

Iran

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