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Albanian Jokes

How does an Albanian recipe start?

"We steal two eggs.."

Old Romanian Joke: How do you stop an Albanian Tank?

You shoot the guy pushing it.

Repainting the White House

There was an open call for repainting the White House and 3 businessmen applied. One was from China, one was from Germany and one was from Albania. The Chinese asked 3 million dollars to do the job, the German asked 7 million and the Albanian asked 9 million. During the selection phase they asked th...

Tomato

Not sure if this translates well from my Albanian origins

So their was a farmer woman and she is tending her crops and notices her tomatoes are brown and rotten. She looks over to her neighbors and they were bright red and juicy.

So one day she sees her neighbor and asks him.

“H...

I once dated a Turkish woman.

Her mother was Tunisian, and her father was Canadian. Her grandparents were Albanian and her brother was Danish.


I broke up with her though, too many red flags.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian.....

.... an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Camer...

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I'm gonna try to translate an Albanian joke

It's hard to translate but I'll try:

Michael and the parrot

Michael had an talking parrot and wants to sell him and make some money. But the parrot had a problem that he offended anyone that he didn't like.
First comes a man with weird teeth and wants to buy him. Then the parrot say...

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Some of the biggest red flags I can think of are Danish, Chinese, Spainish, Turkish, or Albanian

And to a lesser extent, Canadian, Indonesean, Hatian, American, and Japanese

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God calls in an Albanian, a Grecian, and a Serbian for a quick reckoning.

God has realized that things aren't going so well in the general vicinity of the Balkans so he calls up an Albanian, a Grecian, and a Serbian to convince them to change their ways.
First he calls in the Grecian and says to them, "Your people have become so lazy in recent years! You're ruining e...

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Still can't get it..

I'm Albanian and I moved to the US in 1996. My absolute favorite fruits are peaches.

The way it's pronounced, peach in Albanian means pussy. Which sucks because as a teenager there was no way I'd be asking for some damn pussy around the house..

Got over that language issue... But now...

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best jokes about Albania, from Romania:

Why the Albanian submarines resurface every 2 minutes? So the rowers can breath.

How do you destroy an Albanian tank? You shot the guy that pushes it.

Why did the Albanians lost the war? The archer was sick.

The Albanians managed to releases on market their fist computer, it's k...

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