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A Jewish man on the subway is reading an Arab newspaper.

A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached him. “Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?”

Moshe replied, “I used to read the Jewish newspaper, but what did I find? Jews being pers...

If it weren't for Arabs, we would never have 9/11

Instead it would be IX / XI

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A young Arab boy asks his dad....

A young Arab boy asks his dad "what are you wearing on your head?"

The father said: "Why, my son, it is a 'chechia.' In the desert it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun.”

"And what is the long flowing robe you are wearing?” asked the boy.

“Oh, my son!” exclaimed...

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An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery....

But prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store some blood in case a need arose.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so the call went out.

Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for th...

An Arabic, an American, an Australian and an Israeli flew on an airplane

The pilot says in the mic: "Gentlemen, we are sorry but the left engine stopped working. We only have 3 parachutes left. decide between yourselfes who is going to jump."

The American takes a parachute and say: "We are the strongest nation." And jumps.

The Arabic takes a parachute and s...

An Arab student studying in Europe phones his dad

Dad: How's your life going son?

Son: It's going well, Dad.

Dad: Is something wrong? You don't sound happy.

Son: No Dad, everything's fine. Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here

Dad: Son, tell me the truth. I know something's not right.,

So...

What do you call a missile programmed only to track and fire at Arabs?

A heat-Sheiking missile.

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Two Arabs get on a plane

One sat by the window and the other sat in the middle. Just before take off a Jewish fellow comes up and takes the aisle seat next to the Arabs. He takes off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was just getting settled in when one of the Arabs said "I think I'll get a coke" the Jewish guy says "No probl...

What did the Arab Sheikh drink in the morning?

A Milksheikh.

A Mexican, an Arab and a Redneck are at the same bar. (Offensive)

When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws the glass in the air and shoots it with his pistol. He says, "In Mexico, glasses are so cheap that we don't have to drink from the same one twice. "

The Arab, impressed by this, grabbed his empty glass and threw it in the air, shortly before shoot...

An American, a German, and an Arab...

... meet in a bar and after a few drinks start bragging about their families. The American says “one more kid and I have an entire Basketball team.” Replies the German “ one more kid and I’ve got an entire soccer team.” The Arab bursts out laughing “one more wife and I got an entire Golf course!”

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Two Arab guys move to the US, and they have a friendly bet as to who would become more “Americanized” in a year.

After a year, the first guy: I just dropped off my kids at baseball practice, and I’m taking him to McDonalds later.

The second guy: Fuck off, towelhead!

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Tough to be Irish

"What's your name?", asked the teacher.

"Mohammad," he replied.

"You're in Ireland now," replied the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Mike.

" Mohammad returned home after school.

"How was your day, Mohammad?", his mother asked.

"My name is not Mohammad...

What did the Arab leader drink every day to build muscle mass?

A protein sheikh.

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A Jew and an Arab go into a bakery. The Arab immediately steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.

He says to the Jew, “See how good I am? The owner didn’t see a thing.” The Jew says to the Arab, “That’s typical of you Arabs. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result.”

He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, “Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick.” Intri...

The thing about mexican arabs is...

once you've met Juan, you've met Jamal.

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Two Arab guys get on a plane

One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before take-off an Israeli guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was just settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, “I think I’ll go up and get a Coke.”

“No pr...

What do you call an Arab Elvis impersonator?

Amal Shookup

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I got drunk and told my arab neighbor’s wife her cooking tastes like shit

I really falafel about it

Who was the Arab that derived the quadratic formula?

Al Gebra

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An Arab boy is speaking with his father.

“Father, why do we wear these shawls on our head?”

“To keep the harsh sun off our scalp” He answers.

“What about these long robes father?”

“To protect us from the blistering wind that carries stinging sand.” Father says patiently.

“And our sandals?”

“To shield our ...

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In the mid-1200s, the Arabs found that women would not become pregnant if a sheep intestine was placed around the penis during sex.

When the practice came to Europe, it was immediately discovered that the intestine should first be removed from the sheep.

What do you call an Arab stand-up comedian?

Mohahamed.

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An arab at airport

An arab at airport:

\- Name?

\- Abdul Al Razhib.

\- Sex?

\- Three to five times a week.

\- No, no, I mean: male or female?

\- Yes... male, female, sometimes camel.

\- Holly cow!

\- Yes... cow, dog, even sheep.

\- But isn't that h...

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What do you call an Arab man who owns both a goat and a camel?

Bisexual

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An Arab and a Doctor

An Arab and a Doctor are Building an identical house next to each other in the same street.

After their houses are build the Arab says to the doc. "Hey Doc. You know my house is worth more than yours"

The doctor says: "dude don't be silly, we have the identical house in the same stree...

My arab wife left me

She never realized what jihad

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Why cant arabs have sex ed and drivers ed on the same day?

There arent enough camels

What do you call an Arab investor?

The Profit Mohammad

A suicide hotline in the United Arab Emirates

Caller: I'm feeling depressed
Hotline Operative: Great can you fly a plane?

I lose my White friends in the snow, I lose my Black friends at night, I lose my Asian friends in the sand, where do I lose my Arab friends?

In an explosion.

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What do you call an Arab who's really good at eating pussy?

Lawrence of the labia.

Did you know, flintstone vitamins are not sold in all but one city in the United Arab Emirates? The citizens refuse to eat them.

But Abu Dhabi do.

An arab man found the face of Mohammed in his margarine jar

He showed it to his Chinese neighbor who said " I can't believe it's not Buddha"

An american, a french, an arab and a swiss are on a fly...

Suddenly, the pilot says "we're too heavy, all the passenger have to drop something".

The american take billions of dollars and he says : "We got enough of this, i can drop freely"

Then the french drop cheese and says : ""We got enough of this"

The arab drop gallon of oil and sa...

A son of a wealthy arab prince goes to college in europe

After a few months he gets a letter from his father asking how he is, and how's college life, etc.

And he replies to his father: "oh, everything is fine here, but it is really strange, most people here come to college by train and bus, and I'm the only one driving a golden Ferrari every day t...

I'm so tired of racial stereotypes. Not every Arab makes bombs...

Some of them make Slurpees

I was walking down the street, when I glanced up and saw this arab guy on the balcony furiously shaking a rug..

So I yelled out to him, "what's the matter, Omar? Won't it start?"

We need to start giving hurricanes Arab names

Nobody is going to leave for Irma but if Muhammad was coming the whole country would evacuate

For the arabs

An arab walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers

Arab: I would like 7 beers please

Why don't Arab women need Insurance?

Because they are already covered.

An Arab is lost in the desert, dying of thirst

As his eyesight begins to fade and he collapses into the ground, his fingers come across a stoppered flask in the sand. Hoping for water, he pops it open, only to see a swirl of smoke issued forth, coalescing into a giant figure.

"My deliverer!" booms the figure. "I am a long imprisoned Djinn...

An Arab sheikh in a hotel...

An Arab sheikh was once visiting London. He was staying at a grand hotel. He was by himself and didn't know English very well.

Just as he jumped on the bed, a mouse scurried out from under. He was confused at first, then terrified. He used the phone on the side stand to call room service. Th...

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An Arab boy moves to Ireland

... On his first day of school his teacher asks, "What is your name?"

"My name is Mohammed" the boy replies.

"You live in Ireland now, Your new name is Mike" says the teacher.

The boy smiles and has a good time in his classes.

After school the boy returns home and is gree...

An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years...

...He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem: "Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would he...

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A wealthy arab guy was very sick

and he needed a blood transplant for an operation, but he had a very rare blood type. Luckily, there was a jew guy with the same type of blood. The arab guy asked the jew but the jew told him that he must ask a Rabbai first. The Rabbi told him that it was okay to do that. After the operation's succe...

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What do you call an Arabian pilot?

A pilot you racist fuck

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A Jew and an Arab walk into a bakery.

Once inside the Arab grabs three pastries and swiftly stashes them in his pocket. He then looks at the Jew with a prideful smile and says "See how sly I am?"
The Jew, being determined to crush the Arab's pride, walks up to the baker and says "If you give me a pastry I will show you a magic trick....

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An Arab and a Jew

oil Sheikh that was in a coma and needed a blood transfusion to survive. Being O- it was hard for him to get a donor with the same rare blood type. Finally they found an old Jewish farmer that was listed as a blood donor with the same blood type. However he was very reluctant to give his blood to sa...

What does an Arab eat in Mexico?

Inshalladas

Two Arabs are sitting in the Gaza Strip, enjoying a quiet pint of goat milk.

One takes out his wallet and starts flipping through his family pictures, "This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. This here is my second son. He's also a martyr!"


The second Arab nods, “They blow up so fast, don't they?"

What did the Arab Nations say when Iran blockaded the Strait of Hormuz?

OMAN...

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In the middle of the desert, an Arab's camel lamed.

Fortunately he quickly found a garage to fix it. They slowly led the camel over a pit, whacked its balls with a pair of bricks and like a rocket it ran off into the desert.

"Great work", the Arab said, "but how am I supposed to get to my camel now?"

"Slowly walk over the pit..."

An Arab girl asked me if I wanted a hijab..

I said, ”Sure. But I don’t think that’s how it’s pronounced”.

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How many Arabs does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They'll sit in the dark and blame the Jews

What do you call an Arab man flying a plane?

A pilot you rascist.

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God offers the ten commandments

God went to the Arabs and said: "I have Commandments that'll make your lives better."

The Arabs asked: "What are they, can you give us an example?"

God said: "Thou shall not kill."

The Arab were shocked and refused Gods offering

So he went to the Mexicans and said: "I hav...

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How is an American teen girl different from an Arab teen girl.

An American teen girl gets stoned *before* she has sex.

I hung around this really depressed Arab guy....

...he was really killing Mahmoud

Two Arabs are on a plane.

One orders a bottle of Champagne and asks the other "do you want some?".

The other replies "No thanks, I'll have to drive soon".

An Arab enters a taxi.

After he is seated he asks the cab driver to turn off the radio because he must not hear music as decreed by his religion and, in the time of the prophet, there was no music, especially Western music which is music of the infidel’s and certainly no radio ........ So the cab driver politely switches ...

An Englishman, a Welshman and an Arab met over coffee..

...at a convention.

''I am happily married,'' said the Englishman, ''and have 10 children. One more and I shall have my own football team."

''I am happily married,'' said the Welshman ''and have 14 children. One more and I shall have my own Rugby team."

''I am also happily mar...

An Arab enters a bar..

Along with 500 passengers and an entire jet

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