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Keyed Jokes

Someone keyed the music teacher’s car

Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor

Somebody keyed my car..

They wrote "Cheater" and "pig" everywhere. I asked my girlfriend if she did it, and she said no. I don't know why anyone would write such a thing. I'll ask my wife when I get home tonight.

"I think your car just got keyed by some guy..." I told a man in the street.

"Can't you give me a better description?" he said.

"OK," I replied, "some gentleman swiped his tender hand across the metallic section of your motor vehicle, sir."

Authenticity for lonely people

So I broke down and called a hooker who advertised "real girlfriend experience". She came in without knocking, told me I was a slob, nagged me to take out the garbage, said I was a loser with no future and criticized me for playing video games for hours. Accused me of cheating on her, ate all my foo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An RAF KC-2 Extender refuelling aircraft and two Eurofighter Typhoons were returning to their base in Cypress...

After flying a 4 hour patrol of the Ukrainian border.

The Typhoon leader called the Tanker pilot and asked “Don’t you guys get bored just punching circles in the sky for hours? Watch this...”

And he proceeded to do a barrel roll around the tanker.

“Impressive!” Said the KC-2 Ca...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A music teacher walks into a bar

As he is very upset he sees only one person sitting at the bar, who is actually a student of his.

He asks angry: "Are you the little shit who keyed music notes on my car?!"

The student says: "Yes, but why are you so mad? The damage appears to B minor."

Blonde in a car accident

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furiou...

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