Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight...

There would be mass confusion.

Au revoir kilogram prototype! The world has just unanimously voted in a new kilogram based on Planck’s constant.

Prepare for mass confusion

What’s the difference between a gram and a kilogram?

About 5-10 years.

"Commissioner, we've found 20 kilograms of cocaine."

"10 kilograms you say?"

"Yeah, 5 kilograms"

How do you make a kilogram of fat appealing?

Put a nipple on it

A 900 kilogram pumpkin fell on a local man today.

Reports say he was squashed.

A fat man went to a fat farm

The staff told him, “there are three kinds of services, 200 dollars, 500 dollars and 1000 dollars respectively.”

The fat man paid 200 dollars. He was led to a very large room. There was nothing but a bikini beauty in the room. She said:”Try to catch me. If you catch me, I will make love with...

Units.

A science teacher is quizzing the class on various units and measurements.

What is the unit of volume?

Liters.


What is the unit of mass?

Kilograms.


What is the unit of distance?

Meters.


What is the unit of power?

Yes.

(I know...

Right before colliding with an iceberg...

The captain of the Titanic got ready to make an announcement:
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Fun fact, this ship weighs about 52 thousand kilograms. I'm gonna let that sink in..."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Russian Military Rations

Several generals from different countries are sitting together in a bar. After a some while of small-talk, the american general starts bragging about how the US Army was recently able to improve the nutritional value of their field rations to 4000 Calories. To which the russian general replies: "Bul...

John the employee

John, a very experienced employee, was once having a drink with his boss, and found it a great opportunity to discuss a subject he has always been thinking about.

"Can I get a raise in salary?" John gently asked.

After a moment of thinking, the boss replied: "Of course! No one could re...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

New weights and measures

1. The ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

5. Weight an evangelist carries with Go...

How do you become a mass murderer?

Kilogram.

What's the fastest way to go from 300 pounds to 140?

Convert to kilograms.

Sciencey Joke...

These are one of the many jokes my grandfather tells me. Enjoy.


There is a bus conductor, with anger problems. He once got very angry and threw a passenger off of the bus, whom then got run over and died.

He got sentenced to death on the electric chair.

They asked him, "Any ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click herefor more information.