Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.

This would cause a mass confusion.

What’s the difference between a gram and a kilogram?

About 5-10 years.

Through a lot of pain and discipline I managed to lose 6 kilograms.

Still miss my left arm though.

Au revoir kilogram prototype! The world has just unanimously voted in a new kilogram based on Planck’s constant.

Prepare for mass confusion

"Commissioner, we've found 20 kilograms of cocaine."

"10 kilograms you say?"

"Yeah, 5 kilograms"

How do you make a kilogram of fat appealing?

Put a nipple on it

A 900 kilogram pumpkin fell on a local man today.

Reports say he was squashed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man born and raised in the province decided to move to the city to find a decent job.

He woke up early that morning to catch the bus to the city and peacefully slept through the five-hour ride.

By the time he woke up the bus was already approaching his stop so he gathered his things and prepared to leave. He had only taken a few steps away from the bus however when he felt a s...

Where do non-American people take their misbehaving dogs?

To the kilogram.

A fat man went to a fat farm

The staff told him, “there are three kinds of services, 200 dollars, 500 dollars and 1000 dollars respectively.”

The fat man paid 200 dollars. He was led to a very large room. There was nothing but a bikini beauty in the room. She said:”Try to catch me. If you catch me, I will make love with...

Units.

A science teacher is quizzing the class on various units and measurements.

What is the unit of volume?

Liters.


What is the unit of mass?

Kilograms.


What is the unit of distance?

Meters.


What is the unit of power?

Yes.

(I know...

Right before colliding with an iceberg...

The captain of the Titanic got ready to make an announcement:
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Fun fact, this ship weighs about 52 thousand kilograms. I'm gonna let that sink in..."

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Russian Military Rations

Several generals from different countries are sitting together in a bar. After a some while of small-talk, the american general starts bragging about how the US Army was recently able to improve the nutritional value of their field rations to 4000 Calories. To which the russian general replies: "Bul...

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New weights and measures

1. The ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

5. Weight an evangelist carries with Go...

What's the fastest way to go from 300 pounds to 140?

Convert to kilograms.

How do you become a mass murderer?

Kilogram.

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