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Jimmy's Jokes

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Jimmy's wife won't orgasm

Jimmy's wife has never had an orgasm in bed with him.

It begins to annoy him so he goes to the doctor and asks for help. The doctor has an odd suggestion - that sometimes women are too warm and this impedes the process. So all he has to do is buy a fan and put it in the room, and it'll solve ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mary's mom goes to see Little Jimmy's mom...

"I want you to keep your son away from my pecious daughter" complains Mary's mom

"Oh no what's he done now?" Little Jimmy's mom replies

"I caught him playing Doctors and Nurses with my Mary"

"Well they're bound to be curious about sex at that age."

"Curious about sex?!?" ...

There was a very well liked guy named Jimmy, and had always aspired to be a pilot, just like his dad.

Unfortunately, life took many rough turns for him in high school; one night while driving late one night, his tire blew out and he lost his right eye. Having only half his vision, his dreams of being a pilot were crushed, and he didn't know what to do with his life.

Jimmy, now fitted with a b...

the story of jimmy the dumb student

there once was a boy named jimmy who studied in an elementary school in a small town in oklahoma,

this kid was so stupid he didn't understand anything at all, no one liked him, his teacher ms. dorothy always yelled at him: "jimmy you're gonna give me a heart attack!"

one day his mom c...

At his deathbed, father-of-three Joe tells his wife Joan: "Let John take over the family business." Joan: "Jimmy's better in business. Let John help him." "OK but let Jack have my F150." Joan: "But John is better at maintaining it." OK, but let Jack have the Ford Mustang."

Joan: "Can he share it with Jimmy?" Joe sighed and said: "Honey, who's dying - - you or me?"

While in the playground with his friend, Little Johnny noticed that Jimmy was wearing a brand new, shiny watch. . .

"Did you get that for your birthday?" asked Little Johnny.

"Nope." replied Jimmy.

"Well, did you get it for Christmas then?".

Again Jimmy says "Nope."

"You didn't steal it, did you?" asks Little Johnny.

"No," said Jimmy. "I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom the ...

On and On

Mr. Johnson told Mary his secretary that he was going on a business trip to Chicago the following day and he wanted her to come with him. They'd be staying there for 2 days.

As soon as she got home, she told her husband Bob about this.
"Honey, my boss asked me to go on a business trip to...

A teacher sees a knife in Jimmy's backpack

"Don't worry sir, it's only a kitchen knife"

"And that?"

"Kitchen gun"

Jimmy's First Cow

One fine morning on the family farm, Jimmy excitedly ran into the house with a glass of milk. He can't wait to show his father so he runs into the living room.

He shouts "Hey dad! I just milked my first cow!" while proudly holding up the glass of milk and then chugging the entire thing.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Jimmy wakes up at night to get some water.

He rubs the sleep out of his eyes and walks to the kitchen. On the way, he passes the bathroom and sees the light is on. Knowing how his father is about the electric bill, he goes to shut it off.

When he opens the bathroom door he sees his mother bent over the bathroom sink, and his dad's ra...

Billy wants Jimmy to play baseball.

Billy goes by Jimmy's house to get him to play baseball. Jimmy's mom answers the door.

"Hi, can Jimmy play baseball with us?" Billy asked.

"Now you know Jimmy doesn't have any arms or legs," Jimmy's mom answered.

"Yeah, but we need second base."

Poor little Jimmy dies..

Jimmy was very excited about his first day of school. Jimmy has some difficulty with communication due to his disabilities caused by birth.

Jimmy's mum gives him a kiss and waits outside their home for his bus to arrive. Jimmy's mum reminds Jimmy to just wave at the bus driver a smile saying,...

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