This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ricky Gervais dies and is met by God at the Pearly Gates

Ricky: Holy Shit! -- Oops. Sorry. Just can't believe heaven is real.

God: It is Ricky but I'm sad to say you won't be entering.

Ricky: What? Alright so I didn't believe and pray and all that jazz, but I was a pretty decent person. I did some good stuff.

God: You did, unfortunate...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What animal is this?

The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, “What animal is this?”

 “A cat!” said Lizy.

 “Good job. Now, what’s this animal?”

 “A dog!” said Ricky.

 
“Good. Now what animal is this?” she asked, holding up a picture of a deer.

 
The class fell silent. Af...

Why is Ricky the Robot a bad lover?

Shortly after he sticks it in, he nuts and bolts.

Three men die and go to heaven

three men named Mike, Ricky, and Randy arrive to st Peters pearly gates, they are greeted by Peter: “welcome guys, mike please come in first.”
Mike walks through the gates where then a Ferrari awaits him.
Peter: “Here Mike, my records show me that you have never cheated on your wife, thus you...

Why does Ricky Hatton not have a PS4?

Because he's an Xboxer.

What's grey and comes in pints?

Elephants

(Credit: "Afterlife" by Ricky Gervais)

A holocaust survivor dies of old age. When she goes to heaven she tells god a holocaust joke.

God responds “I don’t find that funny”

The survivor replies “I guess you had to be there”

Courtesy of Ricky Gervais in “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee”

I thought the biggest fire this week was going to be in Australia.

But then I turned on the TV and watched Ricky Gervais burn all of Hollywood.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Freudian slip is when you say something by mistake that gives away

What you were really wanking about...I mean thinking about.

-Ricky Gervais

Dear John Revenge (Sorry if repost)

Again, sorry if this is a re post but I love it!

A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a "Dear John"
Letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:

Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance
between us is just too great. I must ad...

An Italian man and his wife had three children...

The two oldest were playing football while the other slept indoors. The man said, "My love, are you sure Ricky is my son? His brothers are athletic but him...not so much."

"Yes, my love."

A decade later the oldest brothers graduated college, one becoming an engineer and the other a doc...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest is in the confession booth...

A priest is in the confession booth listening to people confess their sins, when suddenly he feels the urge to drop a Deuteronomy. He knew right away that this was going to be a bowel movement of biblical proportions, and sweared to God that he would never eat Devil's food cake again. He opened the ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.